Nan desu yo! Welcome to Chapter 2! Wow, Christmas is coming fast for you people who celebrate Christmas. I hope you all have fun with that! But that is beside the point! Anyways, let us commence forthwith with Chapter 2 of 'One Week Randomness'!

Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man is the property of Katsura Hoshino and Funimation. This series is a parody and nothing more, so please support the official release, mind slave!

2. Time Your Rhyme

The way it was quiet unnerved the woman even more than she already was. She knew she was a slight 'spaz', as Lavi called it, but silence could only mean one thing, and that was someone was out to jump her and make her yell really, really loudly. Her eyes scanned feverishly as she took a few more steps towards her destination. The moment she passed the sketchy hallway with all of Komui's scientific creations in it, she sighed in relief and began to walk normally when a sudden slap on the back threw her completely off-guard.

"E-!!!!"

"Wha-Wha!!" Allen took several steps back, rearing his hand along with him as if he just got bitten by a viper. Miranda turned towards him with eyes like that of a frightened mouse, a small pout on her lips, tears forming on the edge of her eyes.

"O-O-Oh, it's just you, A-Allen…" she said, taking in heavy breathes. "For wh-whatever reason, I thought you were Kanda or Lavi or Komuren…"

The way she said 'Komurin' sounded wrong, but it rhymed fine with Allen. He gave her a sheepish smile. "I don't blame you for thinking that. But if it were Lavi, he would have hit you hard enough to make you flat. So how are you today? Is this rhyming thing in your forte?"

She nodded shyly. "To be honest, yes," she whispered as she ran her fingers through her hair nervously. "Remember when I was more crazy and a complete mess? I used to write poetry in my spare time, so I know the ways of how to rhyme. I'm more worried about tomorrow, given how much of this rhyming caused a lot of sorrow… Kanda had a huge scowl on his face when he walked by me. Is he mad about the rhyming thing or is he just hungry?"

"I don't know," Allen replied, walking ahead of her. "He is in a bad mood, though. A lot of people are, even Lavi, but then again, he's always been weird and crazy…" he shrugged as he turned to another hallway and waved at her. "I'll see around, Miranda! And make sure you don't get mauled by a panda!" With that, he walked off, leaving a very confused look on the girl's face. He sighed. Where was he going to go? What was he going to do? There was nothing but to practice and wait for another mission, but Komui had them home for the holidays, so none of them were leaving. That was probably part of the reason why Kanda was in such a bad mood as well…

He walked back into his room and sighed, staring at the white paper on the door and groaned. Really, what on earth was Komui thinking? He must have really lost his mind… He sighed again when he laid down and covered his eyes with his arm. Even though the day was young, he couldn't help but feel that this wasn't all that Komui had in mind to practically torture the exorcists into submission. Well, what was the worst that could happen? He frowned, letting his thoughts wonder elsewhere for a while. What was the worst that could happen? Now that he thought that, it was doomed to happen, he just knew it.

'Good going, Allen,' he thought to himself as Timcanpy flew around his head once more, but only in a parallelogram shape instead of just a square. Allen ignored him and tried to think. 'Well, it is the holiday season, but some people don't celebrate holidays, like Kanda… So would that be fair of him to do something like that? But then again, he wouldn't care, now would he? He would make everyone do his crazy and maniacal deeds… Crap.' He sat up. 'That means anything. And if it really does mean anything can go down this week…' He felt a strange grin form on his face. 'Anything. That means absolutely anything. Like… cutting Kanda's hair or something. Why didn't I think of that before! This week is absolutely perfect to mess with that Ba-Kanda!'

The creepy laugh was more than enough to make Timcanpy hide behind the bed. Allen had the look of a sketchy old man plotting to dominate the world. He could get back at anyone who messed with him this week! And maybe, just maybe, if he was nice enough, he could help Komui collaborate on what should happen tomorrow to pick on everyone! The grin became even more twisted as he got up and walked out the door, the evil thoughts forming in his head. 'Better yet…' he thought as he continued walking towards Komui's office. 'Better yet, I could make him… Oooh, I love it!' He started skipping down the hallways abnormally as Reever and Johnny, who were both heading towards the main science department branch, stared at him with their jaws dropped to the floor and with their eyes wide.

"T-Tell me I just didn't see…!" Reever started.

"I-I think you just did, Reever," Johnny finished for him.

Little did they know what was going on in the British Exorcist's head, for if they did, they probably would have tried to stop him and kill him on the spot. But alas, no one did, so the evil plans would more than likely commence thanks to two crazy people.

'Che. Is it just me, or do I feel a little bit different?'

Kanda, in his almighty reign of being the hugest dick ever in the Order, was busy sharpening Mugen. It was quiet in his room, which felt nice, because the one thing this Order did not have enough of was peace and quiet. Once he was done, he put Mugen off to one side, frowning utterly. He really did feel different. He just wanted to find something cute and hug it.

'What the fuck is going on with me?' he thought as he sat on the floor, trying to meditate, but it wasn't going very well. 'Che. You'd think I'd be turning into the Baka Usagi, but I really do not like that thought. That rabbit-brat is by far the most annoying person in the history of annoying people.' He straightened his back a little and let out a quiet sigh. 'No, I stand corrected-- Moyashi is the most annoying person in the history of annoying people. And I thought Lavi was bad…' He sighed, giving up trying not to think and stood up. He was going to kill Komui, he just had to. Why he was feeling different had to be because of that man. He probably put something in the food that Jerry put out and didn't tell him. He 'che'd' silently before opening the door to see, across the hall, Allen skipping like a crazy madman.

"What in the fuck?" he asked, watching as Allen and-- who was that, Komui?! --skipping down the halls together, both rhyming and saying stuff to one another as if they were best friends. Now he knew Komui did something. He snarled angrily as he went back into his room and picked Mugen up off of the floor and left, closing the door behind him, to go chase after the two far-too-happy idiots. "Che. Next thing you know, Lenalee will start to cluck. And then the apocalypse will happen and I never will have to deal with them ever again, making me the happiest guy in hell. Che, like that will ever happen. Oh well."

"Yuu-chan is rhyming on his own! Quick, someone get me the telephone!"

The resounding crash-bang-ka-boom after the sentence Lavi had said could only indicate the poor boy's near demise. "You know, I was just about to kill those to idiots that went that way, but it looks like I'll have to kill you first. Hooray."

'M-Me thinks Yuu-chan is not in a good mood,' Lavi thought as his hammer blocked the samurai's sword. "Wa-Wait, Yuu-chan! Listen to me, I have a plan! We could go after Komui and Allen together, right? And then for the rest of the week, we can sleep well during the night! What do you say, ah?"

Kanda frowned before putting Mugen away in its sheathe. "Che. Oi, Baka-Usagi."

"Wh-Wha?"

"Are you also feeling weird, or is it just me?"

Lavi thought about it for a moment before responding, slowly standing up when he was certain it was safe to do so. "What do you mean you're feeling weird, Yuu-chan? Are you starting to lose your identity as a man? Or maybe you really are gay, after all. Well, I don't blame you-- You are only, what, several inches tall."

"I'm only shorter than you by an inch, so shut the hell up," Kanda scowled. "And no, that's not what I meant. And fuck rhyming, I'm just going to explain it. I've been wanting to find things that are… things that could be considered as…" He fumbled for words as Lavi tilted his head a little to the left, completely confused. There was a long pause between them. There was no way Kanda could say 'cute'. Most people considered that he didn't even know the word in his vocabulary. But is he said something like that, then Lavi would know something is wrong, and he would have been able to relate if the same thing has been happening to him. It was the only possible way to determine that it was actually all of Komui's fault. "…Things that are… cute, damn it." A scowl crossed his face again. "Things like… I don't know… kittens or something."

There was a pause before abrupt laughter echoed through the halls. Lavi couldn't help it. Kanda Yuu wanted to find something cute to play with. The world must have been coming to an end.

"Oi! I'm being serious, God damn it! I don't like it at all!"

"Yuu-chan likes kittens! What's next, pink little mittens? Hah!" Lavi could feel the glare of death beaming directly at him. But, now that you mention it…" the apprentice Bookman frowned. "…I also feel strange. I feel like shit. I just want to be, I dunno, like you, threatening Allen and beating him to death with my shoe. But then again, you would use Mugen. Do you think this was part of Komui's plan or an honest mistake? Because I don't how much more of this crap I can take." He fidgeted with his headband a little bit more. "Oh, did you see Allen earlier, skipping and singing? I seriously thought that he must have been drinking! It was so weird, you should have seen it!"

"I did see that. Che."

The two were in silence as Lavi subconsciously started to braid Kanda's hair with girly ribbons, and, to his surprise, Kanda didn't yell at him. Now he was certain something was up. Komui must have done something if he wasn't dead from doing what he was doing, and whatever he did was something really bad and possibly the most evil thing Komui has ever done. And now, him and Allen were together…

"Shit!" Lavi said aloud. "What all three of us did together was eat! The food is tainted! I have to tell Jerry about this!"

"I could have told you tha--"

Lavi was already gone when Kanda was in mid-sentence. He remembered then that he was chasing after Allen and Komui to strangle them both for being stupid morons and tainting the Order with their existence.

'Che. This is going to be a very long week,' Kanda thought as he headed towards the direction they were heading in. 'A very, very long week…'

"So…" Allen spoke between skips, both men very intent on devising plans on how to make everyone's lives a whole hell of a lot worse. "What are… we going… to do… tomorrow? Are… we gonna… make them… suffer more sorrow?"

"Well, I don't know," Komui replied, skipping over Reever who was currently having a heart attack at the sight he was seeing. "It depends… on how this first day… goes. I want to do something with the food Jerry will make… But I lost my potion by mistake… I don't know where it would be… Just so long I find it before it becomes three…"

'What does that have to do with anything?' Allen thought absentmindedly as he skipped over Johnny and Tapp's sister whose name always escaped him. "Well… How about this? It would make everything go amiss…"

The two stopped skipping as Allen whispered one of his plans to Komui. When he was done explaining, the two of them grinned widely at one another, both of which were filled with pure evil and sheer genius. They nodded feverishly before giggling like crazy madmen, heading towards Komui's office and writing it out for the next day. "If I can't find that potion later today, we'll put this in its stead, though it will be better anyway! I can't believe you came up with this, boy! I'm so glad Lenalee won't really be affected by it, or else I would have made you become Komurin's toy! Heh heh heh! Now, to write this for tomorrow's flyer… We're going to have to collect all the girls here. No boy, except for you or me, can lend an ear. With haste! And also go get me some glue and paste!"

Allen nodded, still grinning widely, as he skipped out of the room to fetch as many girls as possible, along with tape and glue.

This week was just getting better and better.

And tomorrow would be the best day of his life.

Just so long as he wasn't killed by Kanda before he could execute the plan…

However, the strange yelling of a redhead that all knew far too well caught his attention and distracted him. He followed it for a split minute before hearing, "ALLEN, GET YOUR HEAD DOWN, NOW!"

'Huh--?'

It was too late as he was hit across the forehead with Lavi's hammer, which was the size of a bowling ball but hit like a ton of bricks. Lenalee and Miranda gasped as Lavi blinked once, totally confused. He hit Allen? But he meant to hit the robot he was fighting. He picked the unconscious Exorcist up and looked at everyone who was staring at him.

"…Uh… Now what do I do with him?"

Huh, wonder what their plan is? Let me let you in on a little secret-- It's EPIC. Anyways… So! Did you like it? Hate it? Love it? Destroy it? Hit me with a review, por favor! See y'all in three! --K.S.