Sunlight

By: OurLoveIsForever

If all the flowers faded away, he knew that the entire world would seem a little darker. Of course, he wasn't a fool...The flowers were a metaphor. They stood for something he couldn't begin to admit, something he feared and venerated. The 'flowers' were forbidden to him. That was the sad truth of it. He was never meant for flowers. He was meant for the storm clouds. If those clouds demanded to stay, he would be at peace. Storms were where he rested easy, where he was meant to be. Storms were dark, sometimes destructive, volatile. Like him.

Regardless, he looked out over the garden. The flowers weren't fading, their colors were still as magnificent as they had been years before. The roses were deep red. The lilies were orange and white. His eyes moved from the flowers to something far more exquisite in his eyes.

His wife sat at a table in the middle of the garden. Her mouth was smiling in laughter. How he loved that laugh! Even if he was indoors looking out from their bedroom window, he could still hear it in his mind. That laugh that chimed like bells in his ears.

All light seemed to come from that smile. Everything in the world narrowed into one person, one area, one soul. It had been like that for years, since they had met. She was his sunlight. There was no sun. No silly star in the sky. There was only her and that was enough to sustain his world.

He couldn't help but feel as though he had pulled her down. Down into the depths of hate and madness. He was in the worst of states. He was the worst of people. What was even worse? He knew it and still he couldn't help himself. He wanted no one but her. He knew he didn't belong in her dreams, in her daydreams of knights and beauty. He was no knight, no savior. He was a demon. No, he was lower than that, he was nothing.

Even so, he knew that simply by loving her, he was a much better person in her eyes. He could lie, cheat, steal, but none of that seemed to change the way that she looked at him. There was always a gleam in her eyes that made his stomach fall piteously to the floor. At one moment, years and years ago, when he had realized just how much his life was wrong, when he realized that he loved her, that girl from two classes below him...He realized that he would do anything for her.

If it meant he could love her, he would endure all of the heartache in the world. All of the pain she would feel, it would be his pain as well. He would take all of it upon himself.

If he could continue to hold her, he would willingly bleed. He would do anything to keep her in his arms, where she would be safe, even face death. He would take any punishment that whatever deity would send at him. After all, he didn't deserve her in the first place. He could be a martyr for her, for her love.

The pain had been endless in the beginning. He was eaten by guilt, by fear, by responsibility. He was dying from the inside out, becoming nothing but pain personified. He could handle that, too. He lost himself to it in the beginning. He was pain. It fit. He deserved nothing less. Death would soon follow. Pain and death went hand in hand, and so he knew. He knew that he would die should he continue down his path. Perhaps it was the guilt, guilt he wasn't 'supposed' to hold. He was young. He was scared. He feared for his family. Excuses. He knew that and the pain grew. Darkness was closing in and he didn't want to escape.

She was the light. Sappy romantic love stories, tales of redemption...No, he wasn't redeemed. He would never be redeemed. What a cock thought! No, he couldn't be freed from his guilt and he wasn't. Even now, years later, he still wasn't fee from it, but she had healed other wounds. She balmed away the pain, applied pressure to the wounds to his heart and to his soul. She didn't need any explanation, nor any proof of his alligence. No, she was a healer. She was neutral. She was healing personified.

He was pain and she was healing.

He was darkness and she was the light.

Yes, as he watched her, he knew. The sun bouncing off her hair as she swept up the young toddler pulling at her skirt made him look toward his own reflection in the mirror across their bedroom. His eyes glanced toward the sack of clothes and different supplies that sat on the floor by the door.

Just what had been his plan? To leave her with his child. They would do so well without him. They would no longer have to endure his pain. They could escape the cell of misery that he had trapped them in. She could find someone else, someone more worthy, someone with a warmer soul, someone who could treasure her more than he—

It would be what was right. Leaving would be the right thing to do.

True, but he would rather be wrong.

If he left, he would be cast in darkness and, while that was what he knew he deserved, he would not survive. A world without sunlight—

He started for the door faster than he had moved in years, sprinting desperately down the halls and bounding down the stairs. His breathing came in desperate spurts. Nothing matter more. Nothing mattered more! He slammed the back door open to see her spin around, his child tucked into her arms. Rays of sunlight made her seem ethereal, an angel sent to a demon.

He moved toward her without regard for image, for status or blood lineage and pulled her into a tight embrace. Their son made irritable sounds between them as his mother laughed lightly. He held onto like she was all the life in the world.

"Draco, what in the world—" There was an amused edge to her voice.

He breathed in her scent. The light smell of lilies infused with her hair. His eyes closed and he released a breath. "You are my everything. Did you know that, Astoria?"

There was another laugh before she replied. "And you're my life, darling." He released her and noticed the truth of it in her eyes. She felt the same. She always had and she always will. Now, would you care to join Scorpius and I for a little game of quidditch?" Just like that, the moment moved on as he watched them walk away toward the brooms. A conclusion came to him then, as he stood watching his wife and son debate the prowess of their brooms. He was never going to leave, even when he had came so close. No, he was where he was to be and the only reason was because of her: his sunlight, his meaning...

His everything.

A/N: Well, first, I would like to state that the inspiration came from "She is the Sunlight" by Trading Yesterday. I was listening to the song and thought immediately of this pairing. I just wanted to convey how he might've felt. She is everything to him and he would do anything for her, even leave. Even if he knows it is right, he can't do it. Why? Because he wants to be with her. Because he is selfish. He's dark, but I understand everything he means. Anyways, I hope that everyone liked it. This was my first time doing something quite like this and I would appreciate some feedback. Thank you!