It had been a long time since she'd been in elementary school, so much had happened between now and elementary school it was hard to remember exactly what it was that she'd loved about Wolfgang when she'd started dating him. Maybe it was because there never really had been anything that she'd loved about him; he'd just been the only one that had never asked questions. He'd accepted her as broken as she was and did his best to protect her from the family that didn't love her despite the outcries from his friends. No, she hadn't loved him, not like she'd loved Arnold; not like she still did.

Arnold had always been there for her until…

You don't know me…

Biting her lip, she curled herself tighter into the corner of the stoop of the old elementary school as the rain poured down.

Like you knew me

You stopped listening

The moment that I needed you the most…

People walked by with their umbrellas, none of them glancing to the lost little eighteen year-old huddled on the small enclosure. Why did it hurt so badly?

You can't see me

Like you saw me

Truth comes easy

But it's hard for you to pull me from the ground

The rain dripping from the ceiling of the overhang, landing in a puddle only a few inches from her; Arnold was at home with his grandparents getting ready for graduation that evening; her cap and gown was at home, hung safe in her closet after she'd found her sister trying to "spruce it up"

So I scream, scream cause it hurts

Your every word

Cuts me inside and leaves me worse

There's no way back

And what if there was

You'd still be you and

I'd still need to say goodbye

He was probably standing in front of that mirror in his grandparent's rumpus room, looking over the long black gown that they'd all received, the silver tassel that all the boys had received pulled to the side and out of his eyes. She'd never told him, not really, sure she'd had plenty of chances but she'd never taken them, not once. Maybe it was for the best, she really wasn't what was best for him, she was broken in too many ways to be fixed. He didn't deserve the chore of gluing her back together.

Maybe you don't

Love me

Like I love you baby

Cause the broken in you doesn't make me run

But even so she wanted to tell him, wished that at some point she had been brave enough to tell, brave enough to face his rejection to tell him how much he meant to her, how much that he'd been the one to hold her up. Many times he'd been the only one to hold her up when her world had come crashing down; so many, many times her love for him had been the only thing that had gotten her out of bed in the morning. He'd come into her world and had lit up all the dark places for a brief shining moment.

There is beauty

In the dark side

I'm not frightened

Without it I could never feel the sun

"Hey Helga! Come on! I'll drive you home!", the bully looked up; it was Wolfgang, hanging out of the window of his twice repossessed car, smiling at her the way he always did when he knew she wasn't okay. Forcing herself up, she hurried across the sidewalk and got into the car.

"What on earth were you doing out there?", he asked, Helga gave him her best smile.

"I was just thinking", she said softly before turning her gaze out the window.

So I scream, scream cause it hurts

Your every word

Cuts me inside and leaves me worse

There's no way back

And what if there was

You'd still be you and

I'd still need to say goodbye

She stood in front of the mirror, staring at the strange girl in the mirror, the one that looked happy, in her black graduation robe and her cap with a golden tassel that matched the rest of the girls' in the class. When had this person been replaced with the current version of her? Two arms wrapped around her waist and she forced a smile as Wolfgang hugged her close.

"You look beautiful", he whispered into her ear, kissing her cheek.

"Yeah…"

Nothing will ever change no matter what you say

I'm still gonna be the same

The harder we try, the harder that we fight, can't get it right

The principal stood at the podium, calling up the seniors one by one, Helga sat with Phoebe, wringing her fingers as she listened to each name. Arnold was only a couple rows in front of her, he was sitting with Gerald; handsome as ever in his gown, his cap only obstructing her view a little bit.

"Helga are you alright?", Phoebe asked, leaning over slightly; Helga nodded quickly, mumbling that she was fine, only a little nervous. Arnold was called and her breath hitched as she watched him stand and make his way to the stage to accept his diploma.

"Helga Pataki", her name was called next and she stood, wading her way through the row of other students and heading up to the stage.

Taking a deep breath she ascended the steps of the stage and accepted the diploma, shaking the principal's hand as she glanced where her family would have been sitting on the bleachers. Wolfgang was smiling at her with his mother and grandmother who both adored her; they were no doubt proud of her…but her own family was nowhere to be found.

Feeling the tears well up inside her, she nodded in thanks to the principal and hurried off stage and out the door behind the stage. Once she was outside the door she caught herself on the wall and sobbed, tears running down her cheeks and smearing the little bit of makeup that Wolfgang's mother had put on her.

So I scream, scream cause it hurts

Your every word

Cuts me inside and leaves me worse

There's no way back

And what if there was

You'd still be you and

I'd still need to say goodbye

She was pulled against a chest and hugged tight, it was probably Wolfgang, but at the moment she didn't really care who it was, she just held onto them, sobbing into their chest. Everything was crashing down around her; graduation was here, Arnold was going to be gone and her family didn't care about her.

"Helga, what's wrong?", a voice asked; it didn't sound like Wolfgang.

"Everything…", she whimpered against the chest, "my family didn't come to my graduation and Arnold is going to be gone and I never-" a hand petted through her hair and the chest pulled away. Arnold smiled down at her gently; she wrenched away from him. "Arnold?!"

He gave her a smile and reached a hand out, wiping away the tears that were left on her cheek before slipping a note into her hand.

Helga opened her mouth to say something but she was cut off by the door to the auditorium opening; she looked up to see Wolfgang standing there.

"Oh, there you are, Mom was worried about you", she smiled at him and stood.

"Sorry", she said gently; taking his hand before turning back to Arnold.

Say goodbye.. Say goodbye.. Say goodbye

"Goodbye Arnold"

--

Arnold forced a smile as he watched her leave with Wolfgang, the older male's arm around the girl's shoulders.

"Good bye Helga…"