"Ah, Naruto, you're right on time." Hiruzen was sitting behind his desk in the Hokage's office. It was a few days after the Sound invasion had failed, and the village was recovering well. "Before we begin, though, how's the girl doing."

"She's fine, for somebody that refuses to wake up." Naruto stood in front of the table. "I somehow managed to convince Apollo to take a quick look at her before he and the rest left, and he said it wasn't anything terminal. He didn't have time for more."

"So they all left."

"Yeah." Naruto shrugged. "They're busy people. Gods. Whatever. Artemis promised she'd be back soon." He narrowed his eyes at the grin the Hokage shot him. "Not a word, you hear me old man?"

"My lips are sealed."

"See that they are. So did you call me here for something important? If you wanted to chat you could've just popped over for some coffee or something."

"He should be here in a couple of minutes."

"Oh, I'm already here." A white mass of hair appeared at the window, arms crossed. "And kid, I gotta say, your mother…"

"I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you." Naruto muttered, glaring at the man.

"Sorry, sorry. Yeesh, so touch." Jiraiya waved his arms in front of him. "So, what do you want, you old goat?" Jiraiya turned to the Hokage.

"Didn't anybody ever teach you any respect you brat?" Jiraiya just raised an eyebrow.

"Watch it." He said evenly. "You're on thin enough ice as it is."

"Anyway." The Hokage coughed, trying to regain some semblance of control. "I've called you both here because I've decided it's time for me to retire." Jiraiya and Naruto shared a glance.

"Not it." The older ninja quickly spoke up. "Not on your life or anybody else's."

"Y'know, I would, but there's this thing I have to take care of first that's…"

"Relax, both of you. Naruto, you're far too young and inexperienced to run a whole village. And as for you Jiraiya, I'd only ever appoint you as Hokage if Danzō was the only other choice." Hiruzen deadpanned. "I'm sending you to pick up Tsunade."

Jiraiya blinked, staring at him. "Are… are you serious?" The Hokage nodded. Jiraiya took the old man's pipe, taking a hesitant sniff. "It's tobacco." He told Naruto.

"Looks like he's serious. You want to tell me what's going on?"

"Tsunade is the granddaughter of the Shodaime Hokage. And she hates the village, swore she'd never come back."

"And this is the person you want to lead the village?" Naruto turned to the old man. "You're positive."

"Yes."

"Alright then." Jiraiya shrugged. "We're going in an hour Naruto. You might want to tell your two girlfriends."

"Right. One hour."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So what's the whole story?" Surprisingly, Naruto had just enough tact.

"We were both on the same team with Orochimaru." Jiraiya said after a few moments. "The old man was our sensei. Even back then, she was… Anyway, we fought in the war, got our titles from Hanzo himself. She chose to become a medic, and wound up being one of the best that ever lived. But her younger brother and her fiancée both died and she was unable to save them. She took her fiancé's young niece, her apprentice at the time, and left the village, vowing never to return."

"Fiancée?" Naruto looked at the man.

"Kato Dan."

"Sorry." If Naruto didn't know any better, he could almost say Jiraiya flinched.

"It's just how those things go. You're a lucky brat, you know that?'

"Yeah, I know."

Jiraiya just nodded. The two kept on walking in silence for a while.

"You remind me a lot of him, you know?" Jiraiya commented some time later. "Minato." He added when he saw Naruto's confused look.

"I do?" Naruto brushed his hand through his hair.

"He was a Genin just coming out of the Academy when I took him under my wing. He didn't exactly have your build or your penchant for weapons." He glanced at Naruto's giant sword. "But he was perhaps one of the smartest men I've ever met. And that's saying a lot, Orochimaru considered."

"My build?"

"He was a little thinner. I think your mother called him 'flaky' once."

"F-flaky?" Naruto froze, eyes wide.

'Well, he was a little girly now that I think about it."

Flaky? Honestly, mom.

"I was so proud of him when he became Hokage." Jiraiya sighed, hands crossed behind his head, lost in his memories. "One of the happiest days of my life. I saw him standing there on the podium with his wide, silly grin, and I thought to myself 'Look at him. If a student of yours can become Hokage you old pervert, then maybe there's hope for you yet.' And then…" Naruto had a feeling Jiraiya was too lost in his memories to even realize what he was talking about, so he gave a small cough. Jiraiya blinked and shook his head. "Anyway, I've been keeping some tabs on Tsunade, the like most likely place we'll find her is Tanzaku Gai. It has some of the largest casinos in the country."

"Casinos?" Naruto asked.

"Tsunade has a bit of a problem."

"A gambling problem?'

"Oh, her gambling's not the problem. The problem is she absolutely sucks at it." Naruto sweat dropped. "They even call her 'The Legendary Sucker'."

"Pervert." Naruto deadpanned.

"No, not like that." Naruto shot him a disbelieving look. "No, really, I wasn't the one that gave her the nickname. Honestly."

"Riiight…"

"Oi, I'm telling the truth here you brat!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I think I bit off more than I could chew with this one. It's just a shame I didn't know that nine years ago. Too many elements; I've only been considering a triple-crossover for one or two new stories lately. And too many girls for my protagonist. I'll finish it, of course, I don't think it's that bad, but I'm probably going to rewrite it once it's done.

Slightly better news: the number of unwritten chapters dropped into a single-digit now. Should be done soon, sooner if they don't turn on my internet. I made like eight chapters in two days