Inspired by a certain mellow Death Cab for Cutie's song.

Flynn S x Yuri L. How-I-Love-This-Couple

warnings: Yaoi, death fic, tragedy (well not really)

a world of two

It was so easy for all of us.

Before we know adulthood;

Before we know responsibility;

Before we care about norms and morals and could easily brush away any burden…

Ah, everything was much easier… before everything … .

I hope it will be easy for us – for you at least; once more – from here onwards.

We deserve at least that much, don't we?

Or maybe we have hurt too many people to be granted that simple of a wish… .

Judith is smiling at me from across the room – she is still beautiful, Yuri, she really is.

Krityans do not age the same way as humans do, do they?

She barely has a wrinkle on her porcelain features, yet she is only a few years younger than us.

Yet she is looking at me with that same understanding smile she always wears – accepting – forgiving –

She reads through me.

Has it been hard having her as your wife, Yuri?

It was hard for me … for Estellise – for Estelle – I still cannot address my own wife by her favourite nickname.

A Nickname she received from you.

Even until the day she left this world.

I know if destiny would allow it, she would want you to be her betrothed – not a weak man incapable of at least making her smile.

Actually, she smiled at lot – the same understanding smile Judith is giving me even now – we are lucky to have such strong kind women to be our life partners.

Yet we could not – cannot – give them what they deserve.

Maybe you could – I am sure you could – ah but Yuri, I couldn't.

I breathed your scent every time I held her close.

I caressed you every time I used her to give me warmth.

I … am despicable.

I guess the gods have been kind on Estellise – she is the first to escape this world full of lies. And I spent my lonely years thinking 'what if's and 'why's and cursed at my weakness.

Who are we deceiving, Yuri?

Everyone knows.

I know more than everyone.

Given the chance, given another life, I would choose you more than anything – more than anyone.

And you would have done the same for me, wouldn't you?

That is one wish that will never be granted to us, perhaps not in this lifetime.

We took our own paths years ago – no, we took the paths set out by other people.

Yet we could not escape them.

The responsibilities, the morals, the choking scrutinizing gazes from all corners.

Yet you did it for me.

Always, Yuri, you have always sacrificed yourself -- in all your selflessness

Flynn comes first – he is the embodiment of the Imperial Knights – I am happy in the background.

Your mocking but sincere smile as you kept telling me that… .

Yuri… I owe too much to you.

Then you went away – away from me – you knew that being close to me would only have tormented me more.

You went to Myorzo with Judith – your wife – to live a simple fulfilling life. A life we could never have together however much we want it. And I could not follow where you have gone – so high in the never ending sky.

Even if I could – even if I could …. Ah, Yuri…. Would I have been strong enough to do it?

But Yuri, it does not make a difference – being away from you felt more painful than all combined mortal wounds I took as a soldier.

Even now, that I see you laying here, your kind wise eyes on me – ah, your eyes are still the same, they still pull me deep – I feel more alive than I have been this long thirty years.

Where will you go, Yuri? You deserve nothing less than heaven; but if you go there, what about me?

When my time comes, can I see you from hell – will I go to hell? Will there be further punishment for me? Will you whisper words of comfort for me? Will I hear them?

Judith is now looking at you, and you look away from me, returning her calming smile.

She loves you, doesn't she? Everyone loves you.

I love you. I loved you. I will love you.

It is time for you to go, isn't it? Your fingers are turning so cold against mine.

Let me kiss you on your forehead, my love. You will grant me that much, won't you?

We are both old, tired men… . And now you are leaving… .

Go now, my love. And please wait for me.

Even if I have to strike down all the gods – even if I will be turned into nothing more than dust – I will follow you this time – even beyond the never ending sky.

Snow was falling slowly from the grey sky, the snowflakes melted as soon as they made contact with the ground.

"A second funeral in less than three weeks," the woman sighed tiredly. She was dressed in a high collared black dress and was in her late forties, her thin bony fingers subconsciously reaching out to the man besides her. The man drew her body closer to protect her from the chilly winter wind.

"I hope Flynn can take a rest now," the man muttered in response, tightening his embrace.

"I'm glad it's over," another voice piped in – and the both of them saw an old man walking towards them, rolling his shoulders slowly. He was dressed in black suit with emblems and medals attached to his chest – he looked every bit like a Knight.

"Raven," the woman and man greeted him in unison.

Raven's eyes lit up as he sighted Judith in a distance. She had just arrived in Aurnion, dressed in a full length black gown, walking towards the town centre where they were at.

"Judy, darlin'," he called out, met by a smile from the Krityan. She stopped in front of the trio,

"Rita, Karol… glad to see you can make it." She nodded at the couple.

"Yes, well, travelling across the continents is not something we can easily do if not for Flynn and Yu--," Rita murmured, then quickly stopped as she noticed a sad expression on Judith's face. Her husband quickly changed the subject,

"It was a long way for you too, Judy," Karol released Rita's hands and gave the Krityan a brief hug, "I'm glad you can make it from Myorzo."

Judith closed her eyes and took in Karol's warmth against her body for a few seconds before letting him go.

"It is what Yuri would want," she looked away towards the direction of the town square, where a white tomb had been set, and flowers scattered around it. The flag laid on top of the freshly mount ground was starting to be covered by snow. Townfolks, Knights, and even Guild members were standing around – all dressed in black – and occasionally added more flowers around the tomb.

On the white tomb was the inscription in gold letters – a brief eulogy bestowed by the Emperor himself;

Flynn Scifo

Commandant of the Imperial Knights

Family of the Royal – dear husband to the late Lady of the Empire

His life – short to some but a long journey for him – shall not be forgotten

For he is one of the best men known to many – a leader, a friend

He shall rest now and have his peace.

"Whoever's taking his role has a big shoe to fill," Judith smiled.

"Yeah," Raven nodded, "I have to dress as a Knight today to pay my respects. I gotta say though, man, couldn't those two just live longer? I mean, I am older, but this old man's still around…"

"Yuri had a happy life," Judith interrupted, slight smug smile on her face, "though the occasional whining of him wanting to roam the world and beat down every last monster there was… ,"

– another pause –

"We were happy."

"I'm sure you were, Judy darlin', I'm sure you were," Raven slowly reached out and drew her head closer to his chest.

For once, Judith did not try to retaliate. She was a strong woman – Yuri liked that trait of hers the most – but she could let herself go a bit now, couldn't she?

After all, this was the day she would truly lose her late husband – not when Yuri passed away, but when Flynn followed after him – the day he would and should meet again --

With his best friend – his object of desire – his affection – his love.

For everything Yuri had done – for every attention and his time he had given to her;

For everything Yuri had done – for the wonderful times they had shared together;

For everything Yuri had done – for all selflessness he had shown time and time again for his friends' sakes, for Terca Lumereis' sake –

For Flynn's sake.

And she was more than sure the Commandant had his share of sacrifices, too.

They deserved now to be at peace, to meet again – somewhere --

Where no one would be judgmental, where no one would point their fingers.

Where they could laugh and share comfort with each other;

"Where you can be free," she lifted her head, pushing herself away from Raven, and looked at the grey sky. She then looked at her three friends,

"Do you want to visit Myorzo? I'm sure Yuri would love that. Ba'ul is outside to take us, so…"

"Yes, why not?" Rita smiled.

"Well, I'm sure he'll be able to find Flynn just fine," Karol chuckled, ""But let's tell him just in case, hm?"

"Well, let's get some flowers for Yuri …," Raven shrugged, "I'm sure Flynn wouldn't mind… " he proceeded to walk towards the tomb, then carefully picked a few bunches of flowers.

"Cheapskate," Rita rolled her eyes.

It is warm and blindingly bright.

I wonder where I am – it was cold just a second ago, and it was freezing.

I shield my eyes from the bright light – hang on, I am not even wearing the thick suit and gloves I remember – my hands are bare now.

And I remember I was lying on my bed, cold to my every bone – why do I smell fresh spring grass surrounding me now?

I slowly lift my body up to sit, and am slightly surprised how light I'm feeling. On closer look, I seem to have lost the wrinkles on my arms…

And legs…

.. and chest…

And from the feel of my face as I run my fingers over it – there too.

No more pain, no more cold…

Is this what's supposed to happen when we die?

Or is this just a façade, and as soon as I stand on my two feet again, I will be pulled into burning pits of hell?

"Wake up, sunshine!"

Well if hell is one of those places I can hear your voice again, I'll gladly embrace it.

"Oy, Flynn!" that mocking voice of yours again,

"You've kept me waiting for ages, so don't expect me to let you laze around now that you're here."

This time I feel my body roll slightly from a light kick on my shin.

Finally the bright light softens down and as I lift my head, I can slowly see your face.

A feature I have longed to see again, a face I have so wanted to touch, to feel.

Your long black hair is swayed by the wind. There is nothing but never ending grass field on the horizon spread behind you.

And your eyes, black and intense --

Is this heaven? Have I been forgiven for my sins?

"Yuri?" I hesitantly called out your name.

My voice rings clear and youthful – and as I realize that fact, I see you in your gleaming youth. Your hair is black – hang on, didn't I just notice that a second ago?

You are still smiling that lopsided trademark smirk of yours – god, how I miss that, too.

Your face is smooth; you stand tall and straight –

Your arms are stretched forward, ready to pull me upwards –

Ready to accept me;

And as I smile, I am confident that you won't brush me away this time.

I have never been this sure – I have never been this whole.

"Urm, where are we?" really, regardless of the answer, I won't mind.

You are here – I don't care where we are.

I just want to hear your voice again to make sure this is not some cruel joke the gods are playing on me.

You shrug.

"Who knows? I haven't seen anyone else,"

Pause –

"I just know you would come, though. You asked me to wait, remember?"

You smile.

I smile back.

As I raise my hands to meet yours, and as our fingertips make contact,

I feel the warmth of your skin is very much real.

I know – this is where I belong.

-------------------------------------- end

... and virtual candies for people who guess the song right.