The Letter

Author: -07BodomChild-

A/N: I hope you'll like this. My second. Sorry, but it isn't happy ending. Also, English is not my language, so excuse me if I made any grammatical mistake. Review if you want. Thank You.

Rating: T

Pairing: Alexi/Janne

Genre: Slash, Tragedy, Romance

Summary: Alexi committed suicide. This is his goodbye letter.

-Hell, I don't know how to start this. Dude, I'm in love with you. Every fuckin' day I wanted to kiss you and tell you that I love you. You know, you are the best fuckin' thing that happened in my life. The first day when I saw you, my whole world turned upside fuckin down. We become friends. You ware the one who always cared for me, always supported me, and always comforted me when I needed it. I love you so fuckin' much. I didn't dare to tell you that. It would ruin our friendship, and our band. So, that's how I spent the rest of my life. Loving you. Dreaming you.

Then it happened. We kissed for the very first time. I'm just sorry that we ware drunk. You blew me off, dude. It was like I was in heaven. You won't believe it, but after that, I was just thinking of love. So fuckin' gay. It inspired me to write a song. You'll find it in my diary, it is all yours now. I hope you'll like it. I'm embarrassed. Song is so girlish.

The next moths ware like… Dude… We started to kiss more often, we slept in the same fuckin' bed, and… It kept me alive. But it wasn't it. You didn't felt love for me as I felt for you. It was all a fuckin' fun. It hurt, but at least, I was kissing you. Big effort! I remember. It was crazy dude. Fans went mad when we kissed on stage during the solo parts. As an excuse I said that it's "medium of heavy metal music". What the fuckin' medium?! I was melting when our lips touched.

Few years later, we recorded the "Blooddrunk" album, and on that party, I decided to tell you how I feel. I was so nervous. Like some fuckin' school girl. But then… You represented my worst fear. Your fuckin' girlfriend. You told us all how happy you are with her, and slowly, my heart shattered into peaces. Few weeks after that, I was already sick of that bitch. But I was helpless. I could just watch how I'm loosing you. I couldn't take it any more. It hurt more than every flesh wound. Pain in the chest. In the heart. It was too much for me. I knew that if I do what I've done know, it would ruin the band. Fans would be disappointed. But I couldn't stand it. You must understand, it was too much for me. I had no reason to live.

But anyway, don't cry 'cause of me. Keep playing, and make that lucky bitch happy. I need to tell you that the years I spent with you ware the best fuckin' years of my life. Now, I got to catch up with reaper. Goodbye forever , Janne Wirman, one and only true love of my life. Forever yours

Alexi Laiho-