It was still dark when Gokudera's alarm went off, startling Uri, who leapt away, tiny paws climbing over Yamamoto and poking into the soft parts of his stomach in the cat's hurry to flee the early morning scene.

"Unh!" Yamamoto wheezed, jerking into a startled and sleepy sitting position. "What--why--"

Across the couch Gokudera sat up groggily, groping through his pockets for his cell phone, finding it finally and hitting the keypad to shut off the insistent beeping. "Alarm," he groaned, scrubbing at his face as he flopped back down. "I set it... so we wouldn't miss the sunrise."

"Oh." Yamamoto blinked blearily at the television which was playing infomercials. There was a blanket tossed over both of them, their legs almost tangled and sharing delicious warmth under it. The only light was the television and the kitchen light.

Somewhere across the room Uri whined, scratched a wall. Gokudera sat up again, drawing his legs under him as he lifted both hands to the mess of his hair. "When did I fall asleep?" he wondered, pulling free bobby pins and combing the tangles with his fingers. "I don't even remember."

"Ummm, just before midnight," Yamamoto recalled, his brain struggling through the haze of sleep. He stretched, arching his back, arms behind his head and then collapsed back to the futon. He thought but didn't say the 'while I was rubbing your feet' part. "I think Uri slept on you all night. You're covered in cat hair."

Gokudera looked down at his chest, groaned to see the layer of blond cat fur clinging to the cotton. "I need a shower," he decided. "Is there time before the sun comes up?" He rummaged for his phone, "5:15."

"Go for it," Yamamoto grinned and then yawned and flopped down again. "I'll be here."

Gokudera nodded sleepily before climbing to his feet, stumbling only once on his way to the bathroom.

It took no time at all for Yamamoto to nod off again, and it seemed hardly a beat had passed before he felt a hand on his shoulder, shaking him awake gently. When he opened his eyes, Gokudera was standing over him, hair still wet, sporting clean, pink cheeks and a long-sleeved tee. "Hey, you awake?"

"Ah..." Yamamoto stared up at him for a moment, unsure if he was awake in all truth. But then he shook himself and sat up. "Yeah... is it time?"

He checked on his clothes and found that they were dry so he changed out of the embarrassing getup he'd been in the night before.

Gokudera led them out of his apartment and upstairs to the roof of his building, where a fence, not unlike the one atop the school building circled the edge. "How's this?" Gokudera wondered, drawing his coat a little more tightly around his shoulders. "We can see all around up here, so I thought it'd be good. I mean, that's what Japanese people do right? Watch the sun rise on New Year's day?"

Yamamoto nodded with a smile. He could still see stars, much of the sky still dark; the dawn was only just starting to lighten the sky for the first time of the new year. "Yeah. This is perfect. Thank you for waking us up, Gokudera."

Gokudera shrugged, but joined him at the fence, lifting his hands to hook fingers into the chain link. "Your Dad's gonna be okay without you around this morning?"

"Actually..." He smiled softly, looking out over the riddled building tops and toward the distant mountains where the sun would appear. "Dad spends this morning with mom every year. Kind of their alone time. He goes to tell her everything that happened that year and watch the sunrise."

"Oh," Gokudera answered, and when Yamamoto glanced over, he licked his lips, like he was nervous or guilty maybe. "Sorry... I just. It's good then, right? That we did this. This thing. New Year's. I mean... if both of us were going to spend it alone anyway, right?"

Yamamoto just smiled, letting his temple come to rest against the chain link. "This has been the best New Year's ever."

Gokudera snorted. "Even though we watched a show you couldn't understand, had to train in the middle of it, and then I fell asleep before midnight?"

"Because of that," he corrected, catching the other boy's eyes. But then, knowing he was doing that again, getting all weird in a way that would probably make Gokudera uncomfortable, he looked away and gave a laugh. "I mean -- it would have been really good to spend it with the whole group, too! The other guardians -- or the baseball team or whatever."

Gokudera made a face, his fingers clenching, then unclenching on the fence. "Too crowded," he observed, sounding remarkably like Hibari.

Yamamoto laughed easily. "You think so? I like spending time with everyone. It's so energetic -- like at the Christmas party? Haha -- you know what would be great some time? If we had a party and invited those other guys! The Varia guys? That would be so interesting."

"A party with those freaks would almost definitely end with someone in traction. Probably you."

"Hahaha -- it's possible, huh? They like to play rough. Especially Squalo-san."

Gokudera definitely looked like he'd swallowed something sour, and he seemed to be trying his best to melt through the fence with the power of his gaze alone. "I don't know how you can get along so well with a guy who'd like best to see you bleeding on the point of his sword."

Yamamoto shrugged and offered Gokudera a friendly grin. "It's not like you've always wanted to shower me with adoration but I still like spending time with you."

The look Gokudera turned on him then was startlingly close to hurt, his brow drawn but his eyes wide, mouth a thin tight line. "I never tried to kill you," he pointed out, grip on the fence tightening until angry irritation overcame his first expression. "Anyway, he's a self-important sociopath, with all the manners of a streetwalker even when he's trying."

Yamamoto just shrugged. "I like him anyway. I can't explain it."

"It's also painfully obvious that he's hot for that sadistic boss of theirs," Gokudera added, teeth grinding.

"Ah..." Yamamoto hemmed, blushing a little. This was sort of a weird thing to talk about. "You think so?"

"Yes, I think so," Gokudera sniped, words clipping short.

"Oh." Yamamoto blinked at his scowling profile and then looked back out at the warming horizon. He felt his cheeks warming a little over the sheer strangeness of talking to Gokudera about his mentor. He wasn't generally much of a gossip anyhow. "I... I guess that could be."

"Seems like he gets along pretty well with you though," Gokudera continued. "After the whole trying to kill you thing was over anyway."

"Yeah," Yamamoto chuckled, then paused. "Why are we talking about this?"

"I--" Gokudera started, stopped, looked away. The sky was definitely lighter now, though the sun still had yet to rise above the horizon. Yamamoto watched him press his forehead to the chainlink, take a breath, let it out, scowl again. "I just... it's like this..." He paused then. Said nothing, nothing nothing. Until Yamamoto moved, and the fence moved and Gokudera looked up, back across the city scape. He looked pale, faintly sick, like he'd woken up after a Bianchi-induced stomach flu. "I-- don'twantyouto... date that guy. Or anyone," he finally said, the words half-slurred together, and even as they left his mouth he was frowning, shaking his head like he was confused.

One of Yamamoto's hands fell away from the fence as he turned to stare openly at the other then. What was he saying? Just like the conversation before about girls, on Christmas... of course Gokudera didn't want him to date anyone because then it would be Tsuna and Kyoko and Yamamoto and someone else and Gokudera would be left all alone. Nevermind that he didn't want to date anyone else, nevermind that he would never want to put Gokudera in that position -- it still made him angry. It was just too unfair. His brow furrowed, lips tightening. "You can't tell me that," he said quietly.

"No, listen!" Gokudera snapped, clearly frustrated, and shook the fence once, sharp, angry, like he maybe wished it was Yamamoto he was shaking. "I'm trying.. trying to..." He was searching for something, growing obviously more frustrated, "Ugh! I don't--!"

"I know," Yamamoto interrupted. "I know you don't want to get left behind. I'm not... I don't want to date anyone right now. I'm not ready for it... But do you have any idea how much it hurts for you to tell me not to? Do you have any idea how unfair that is?"

Gokudera blinked, startled when he lifted his head to risk a look at Yamamoto's dimly lit profile. "Unfair?" he echoed incredulously. "UNFAIR?"

"Yes!" Yamamoto snapped, anger welling up hot in him like the other times Gokudera's attitude pushed him too far. He'd always been able to get a rise out of Yamamoto more than anyone -- whether it was when he was being abused or he was the one doing the abusing. "Don't you get it? It's just the same as you and Tsuna! I can't just -- sit around and keep hoping someday you'll wake up and see me totally different!" Nevermind that it was exactly what he was doing. That even after three years he only had eyes for Gokudera and nothing else would do, everyone else paled in comparison. What had he been doing since Christmas? Just torturing himself by giving himself these holidays -- the perfect Christmas with Gokudera's smile and the Catholic mass -- the perfect New Year's with tickling and sleeping on the futon and being together at sunrise -- what was he doing? Just an idiot chasing after something he would never get and smiling happily through every heart-warming, gut-wrenching moment of it. His hand stung where he gripped the chain link so hard, his other hand in a tight fist at his side. He shut his eyes because hot tears were starting to prick at them. "I'm sorry if you'll feel alone! But I'm not going to spend the rest of my life just wishing you would notice me!"

"Goddammit, Yamamoto!" Gokudera swore, and he felt the fence vibrate, creak in protest to the bomber's abuse. "You idiot. It's not the same at all. The Tenth is sweet and kind and happily dating someone else. I've... I've spent the last month in a daze, the last week freaking out, and the night before last hugging the toilet until I finally decided what I was gonna say to you today! And this... this wasn't it! This is all wrong and... you weren't supposed to be angry or... or... and I... I -- "

"What am I supposed to be!?" Yamamoto demanded but the anger was already draining away, replaced with helplessness and anguish. "I don't -- I don't know how to be because all I ever want to do is be around you -- even though it hurts so much, you still make me happier than anything and I feel so lost and so dumb and so humiliated! I wish I'd never told you--"

"Yamamoto!" he heard, then felt Gokudera grab his shoulders, hands too rough, fingertips too biting as he turned him around, pushed him back until he hit the fence, heard and felt it shake again. "For fuck's sake, LISTEN to me!" But that really didn't make any sense, any sense at all because then Gokudera wasn't saying anything at all, because Gokudera was kissing him instead.

It wasn't a very good kiss. The chain link bit at his back and the back of his head, icy cold against his neck, It was too rough and it tasted like cigarettes and Yamamoto was too shocked and somewhat terrified to do anything but stare into the other's face as though he had no idea what was happening. Which, in all honesty, he didn't. It was like the entire dawn-drenched world was turned on his head and his blood was rushing so hard and fast that he was certain for a moment or two that he would pass out. Those hot tears that had been welling up spilled over and he was too stricken to stop them or save face. After a few seconds that felt like forever, his hands moved on their own and found Gokudera's shoulders and pushed him away. "G... what..." His throat was tight, voice a whisper.

Gokudera stared back, lips flushed and brow furrowed, hands hanging for a moment before dropping away, clenched as his sides. "I was tryingto say," he began, took a deep, shaky breath, started again, this time avoiding Yamamoto's eyes, staring hard at his feet while his cheeks and ears glowed red. "What I was trying to say wasn't any of that. Just that... after you told me.... you said nothing would change, but it did and you stopped hanging on me and walking too close and you stopped being you around me and it didn't feel right. But I didn't know what that meant! I just knew something was missing that I didn't even know I had and that's when I felt alone." A beat. "Idiot." A mumble.

Yamamoto couldn't do anything but stare at him and ache until he felt like he was breaking inside. It was almost too much -- he couldn't let himself believe that what had just happened had happened. He'd spent three years knowing Gokudera would never give him so much as the time of day but never stopped hoping in spite of himself. And now.... now he just couldn't process what was happening. Abruptly, he lifted a hand to wipe away the tears still staining his cheeks. "T...then..." He didn't know what to say. His body felt like it was weighted down with stones, all of him numb.

"You realize, I'm the worst," Gokudera mumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Like, I mean... the absolute worst person you could have picked. I'm... no fuckin' good at this. Or... anything." He was still staring at Yamamoto's shoes like they had any answers. "Fuck... I don't know why I did that." He sank to a crouch suddenly, palming his face. "I just... and you were so... I'm sorry. That was... I just did it. I freaked you out --"

Fingers brushed the top of Gokudera's head. And then he let his weakened legs give out from under him, sinking down with his back dragging along the chain link until he was on his knees in front of the other boy. He wiped away a fresh set of hot, embarrassing tears and swallowed hard. Then he reached out and moved Gokudera's hand out of his way, replacing it with his own. He touched softly the other boy's cheek, fingertips trailing over its curve to his cheekbone. Then down along his jaw, thumb softly brushing his chin. "Is it okay if I kiss you?" he whispered in the space between them. His voice was barely audible, too strangled and hoarse. "Please?"

When he lifted Gokudera's face, he found wide, startled eyes searching his. "You still want to?"

Yamamoto eased closer, pressing their foreheads together first. His eyes closed and his throat was so tight he couldn't speak and all he kept telling himself was don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. So instead he just nodded softly against Gokudera's weight and then so lightly, so tentatively, heart stoppingly, his lips brushed the other boy's.

He could feel the way Gokudera shivered, the way his lips parted just a little beneath his. He felt the sharp breath Gokudera sucked through his teeth, the hand that was suddenly on his arm, gripping tight, too tight, as though to make up for the way his mouth was so gentle.

The second kiss was much better. The faint tilt in. The warmth of Gokudera's lips, just a little bit chapped with cold. Yamamoto's inside were trembling when he kissed him soft and slow, his fingers threading gentle into the other boy's silver hair, still damp from his shower. Their noses brushed, freezing cold against each other and their breath steamed between them. Somehow he managed not to pass out and he knew the worst of it was over when the warmth of Gokudera's mouth touched his in earnest and melted everything in him. The cold and the fear and the hurt. And with a sharp, quiet breath, he kissed deeper.

Gokudera reached out, kissing back, both hands on his arms now, reeling him in just a little more. The roof was rough beneath their knees and the cold of a passing breeze made the slighter boy shiver and finally pull back, just enough to breathe and still stay touching, brow to brow. "My first," he mumbled. "Well. Second I guess."

Both of Yamamoto's hands had made their way to Gokudera's cheeks and he knew they must have been cold on his skin. He couldn't bring himself to take them away though, cupping the other's face in his palms. Silver hair curtained them, tickling Yamamoto's cheeks. A thumb stroked the other boy's jaw and his skin was just as soft as Yamamoto had always imagined. Even sharing breath and brows touching, he could scarcely believe any of it was real, couldn't quite let himself be sure that he wasn't going to wake up any minute now. He couldn't begin to imagine that Gokudera would actually *want* to kiss him. That worry was in his eyes, clouding them with boiling emotion as he looked into Gokudera's, searching wordlessly.

"What are you looking for?" Gokudera asked him, stared back, let Yamamoto's hand stay where they were, no protest or pulling away, but continued before he could answer. "I-- I'm not promising that I'll be... any good at this.. whole thing. I can't even say for sure I'll never hurt you again." He laughed a little, a sad, rueful sort of sound. "In fact, I probably will. I just... thought... I realized I wanted to try. I mean to be good. To try to be good. With a crazy baseball idiot."

He couldn't find any fault in it, nothing to doubt or disbelieve. Gokudera didn't put himself out there like this, never let this sort of vulnerability show except for Tsuna. He really did want this. Something deep in Yamamoto's chest shuddered with this knowledge and he had to remind himself again that he was not going to cry. Even if his eyes were welling up again. But he laughed, a huffing strangled laugh and his hands fell away to instead throw his arms around Gokudera's shoulders. He pressed his face in to the curve of the other boy's neck and took a shuddering breath.

"Happy New Year," he managed and then laughed again, arms curling tighter around him. "We missed the sun rise."

"There's... always next year," Gokudera mumbled, his voice muffled by Yamamoto's shoulder, immobile in his tight grip. And Yamamoto could feel the way saying the words made Gokudera shiver, how to speak of the future must make him uncomfortable, like he was giving up a sizable part of his iron-clad control. Like even though it was hard, he was doing it for him. It wasn't a promise, but maybe... maybe it was a hope. A hope they could share.

"Yeah," Yamamoto murmured back. He breathed and it was smoke and shampoo, clean and earthy and everything he knew it would be. He was still a little numb, a little speechless and shivering inside with what was happening. But it felt good. His arms around Gokudera, his voice so sincere. He knew that when he made it through the dreamy haze of shock, it would be better. So much better. "It's freezing out here," Yamamoto chuckled, his arms sliding away to sit back on his heels. His knees ached with the cold, hard concrete beneath them. The sun hovered, a bright ball just above the horizon.

"How do you feel about sleeping for another four or five hours?" Gokudera suggested, his hands nervous and fluttering at Yamamoto's knees for a beat before he pulled them back, tucking them away into his coat pockets. "It's too fuckin' early and cold to be awake."

Huffing a breath of laughter, Yamamoto nodded and rose to his feet. "That sounds like a good plan. I really like your apartment, Gokudera, it's really... cozy." Maybe it wasn't what a tough surly bomber like Gokudera was looking for but it was true.

Back in the apartment, Yamamoto changed back into the clothes Gokudera had lent him with some amount of chagrin. Better to look silly while sleeping than to wake up and have his only clothes wrinkled and messy. Gokudera folded the futon down, making it a bed once more instead of a couch. Yamamoto's stomach clenched nervously at this transformation -- all the rules were different now. Last night it had been, in his mind, all but overstepping boundaries to give Gokudera a foot rub on the couch. Now they were actually going to sleep in a real bed together? With those first two kisses still practically warming his lips? He looked on rather dumbly as Gokudera tossed the blanket over the futon and rearranged the pillows. It was really quite inviting. And frightening.

"Well?" Gokudera raised a sleepy brow at him when he'd already claimed half the futon and Yamamoto was still standing there, staring. Maybe Gokudera realized his hesitation then, because his cheeks flushed dark again and he lay down, his back to the middle of the bed. "You gonna sleep or what?" he mumbled, face hidden between pillow and arm.

"Ah, yeah -- sorry..." Yamamoto forced a laugh and slid under the covers with the other boy, lying on his back beside him. It was a small futon for a small space and Yamamoto was a big guy. Even crowding himself toward the edge of the bed, fearing Gokudera would mistake some sort of impropriety and take it all back, his shoulder still brushed against the other's. "Hah -- sorry I -- take up so much space. I'm a peaceful sleeper anyway so that's good -- no kicking or anything as far as I know--"

"You do take up too much space," Gokudera agreed, but before Yamamoto had the chance to pout, he continued. "I'm not Hibari, you know. I won't bite you to death for getting too close or waking me up or whatever." A beat passed and startlingly, he felt Gokudera move, felt his back touch his shoulder, his heels graze his ankle. "Go to sleep, idiot."

It was nothing short of terrifying. Especially when he'd spent the last month making sure not to touch Gokudera as he would have normally. Now he was being invited to touch him more than he ever had, in ways he'd only dreamed of. He should have been happy and delighted and enthusiastic --- and he was. But he was also so afraid that he'd do the wrong thing. That he'd make the wrong move and suddenly undo everything that had been done this morning. All Gokudera had ever done before was snap at him for being too friendly. If he did something that Gokudera didn't like and made him push away again, he never would have been able to forgive himself.

So he lay there with his heart thundering and stared up at the dark ceiling for long moments, feeling the tiny points of touch between them. Shifting his leg just tiny bit by tiny bit so that more of them touched. He wanted it -- desperately he wanted it, had ached for closeness with this boy for so long. Finally after a long time, not sure if Gokudera was asleep yet, he shifted carefully and turned on his side. His front to Gokudera's back, a tracing line of curving body a safe five or six inches away. Close enough to feel his warmth, to let every fiber of him know what was so close.

Awkward. Now what? He'd broken the touch of shoulder to shoulder so maybe it would be okay to replace it with another. Lifting a shaky hand, he reached for Gokudera's hair and smoothed it gently and softly away from his face. Ah, hopefully he wasn't asleep that would probably wake him up--

"This is weird, huh?" Gokudera murmured, not a protest when he lifted his hand and tucked the bit of hair behind his ear, grazing Yamamoto's fingers in the process, though not pushing them away.

Yamamoto started a bit and laughed quietly, embarrassed. "Ah..." he agreed. Withdrew his hand then and let his head tip forward, resting his forehead against the back of Gokudera's shoulder where he chuckled quietly. "Sorry. I must be annoying you. This is just..." Tentatively, he lifted his hand to touch Gokudera's back lightly, fingers spread. It was so powerful to be this close, this intimate. He didn't know if he could even handle the thrill of something better.

"I didn't say it was annoying," Gokudera interrupted Yamamoto's silence. "And I didn't say you had to stop."

"Oh..." Yamamoto murmured on a breath, staring into the darkness between their bodies. He could just make out the shapes of them, of Gokudera's back and his hand there. The space begging to be closed. Slowly, tentatively, his hand moved and he lifted his head and shifted. He held his breath as he curled his arm around the other boy's slighter frame and they came to touch gently. Warmth spooned against him, Gokudera's flippy hair tickling his nose so that he nuzzled faintly in to it. He waited, tense and afraid and hopeful. "Is this okay...?"

Gokudera's answer was delayed, but he nodded; Yamamoto felt the movement. "I wanted to try it," the bomber admitted, almost too quiet to hear. "I might kick you in my sleep," he added, louder. "So... don't be surprised if I do." His arm rested over Yamamoto's and it was a little awkward until he settled into something that wasn't quite holding hands, but was still close enough to feel him from shoulder to toe.

He breathed warm into Gokudera's hair, slowly relaxing with his hand resting on the other boy's stomach. Fitting together like he knew somehow they would. Gokudera was smaller and slighter than him but he was still wiry, solid under Yamamoto's arm and against his body. Gently he eased more firmly against him, like a tiny hug. His forehead pressed softly to the back of Gokudera's head when he whispered, "Thank you."

"What for, idiot," Gokudera mumbled without ire, his skin flushing where Yamamoto's breath touched the back of his neck.

Yamamoto hesitated, more than a little embarrassed to elaborate on his gratitude. He hadn't really thought it out before saying it -- there was a lot of things to say it for. Thank you for letting me do this, for giving me a chance. Thank you for making all these heart-breaking hopes from the last several years come true. Thank you for being you, for being so incredible that he couldn't let go, that he waited it out for this long... because it was so worth it. He had a feeling that Gokudera would get flustered and irritated if he said any of those words though. So he smiled and curled his arm tighter around Gokudera, the warmth that they shared just the best thing he'd ever experienced. And what he said was, "Thanks for making my New Year's really good."

"Hmmph," was the muffled answer he received, and then Gokudera's hand found his, tentatively, palm resting over his knuckles, settling there. "Thanks for making me miss the sunrise."

Try as he might, Yamamoto couldn't hear even an ounce of sarcasm in the words.

He laughed quietly, breathily into Gokudera's neck. "No problem," he murmured back. He risked pressing a soft kiss to the back of the other's neck and then took a long breath that let him relax into the futon's hold. It took him what felt like ages to fall asleep, reluctant as he was to miss a moment of this closeness, to let unconsciousness tear away the awareness of Gokudera's body against his, Gokudera's smoky-clean smell against his cheek. Finally sleep tugged at him though and he didn't know if the other boy was still awake when he finally succumbed to sleep and snuggled even closer when it took him.

~~~~~

It had been difficult to leave that morning. Waking up in Gokudera's bed even after only a brief nap made him never want to get up even when he found his stomach growling with hunger. He'd stayed around long enough to have some late breakfast and wake up a bit before he forced himself out the door before his father could get worried or hurt that he was spending the holiday with his friends. Even after dinner, with night already fallen, he swore he could still feel the somewhat awkward good-bye kiss burning his lips.

He'd had all the best intentions of reading for a while before bed but instead he found himself just grinning stupidly up at the ceiling when his phone rang.

"Hey, Tsuna!" he said cheerfully when he flicked it open.

"Yamamoto!" Tsuna's voice sounded relieved. "Happy New Year's! Um, sorry to call kind of late. We just got back in town and I... well I just wanted to... well, call. A-and see how your holiday was."

"Happy New Year's!" Yamamoto agreed, grinning even wider up at the ceiling as he set aside his book. "It -- it was the best holiday ever!" He quickly curbed the enthusiasm that bubbled up from somewhere deep in his stomach that wanted to instantly pour everything out to Tsuna in a long, excited ramble. Instead he managed to maintain a level of maturity and got out, "How was your trip?" before that took hold.

"Oh, it was fine. Nice that Dad got some time off so he could spend the holiday with us. And the hot springs were great! But anyway, did you still go over to Gokudera's? Did he... how was he doing? Was it..." Tsuna trailed off, and Yamamoto guessed he could almost hear the blush on his friend's face.

"Yeah," Yamamoto responded, realizing even as he said it just how goofy his voice was. "I mean -- yeah, I went over. It was great. We watched that show he likes for hours and he made lunch for us and... we trained with Reborn for a little while and haha-- I was all dusty when we got back so he washed my clothes and gave me this awful sweater to wear. I looked like such a dork. We fell asleep on the couch-- Gokudera right before midnight so he missed the change, hah! And -- and in the morning--" He slowed down then, heart suddenly racing because he hadn't had express permission to tell Tsuna exactly what had happened. They hadn't really worked out the exact details of what was going on and what was going to happen. But Tsuna was arguably his best friend and if he didn't tell someone he was just going to die. "Um -- I -- Tsuna don't tell Gokudera I told you this okay? I mean, I don't think he'll be mad but sometimes it's hard to know what's going to upset him you know--"

"Yeah, of course, I mean, I know. Gokudera-kun is... hard to understand sometimes, huh? I mean, anyway, right. Of course I won't say anything," Tsuna's voice came through the line, sincere and encouraging in all his rambling.

"Right. Okay. So yeah we -- there was kissing," he blurted out for lack of any better way to say it. "We got up to watch the sun rise and we were talking and I thought he was mad at me -- Like he was talking all weird about Squalo-san and then he was like 'I don't want you to date anyone else' and I got sort of mad because I thought he just meant because he'd be all alone if I dated somebody since you are too and we're like a team the three of us right? So I sort of... yelled at him a little I guess and I really thought he was going to hit me but then he kissed me and it was CRAZY." He sucked in a breath and paused. Suddenly he knew what it was like to be Sasegawa-niisan.

"That's great, Yamamoto!" Tsuna replied, "Oh gosh, I'm so glad! I was worried... he's been so... well, he talked to me and I knew he was really nervous about you coming over for New Year's but i didn't know whether he was really going to-- you know... Oh, that's so great!"

"Haha yeah he definitely... did it," Yamamoto said only a little sheepishly. "It was just... incredible. The best thing ever. I'm glad you're okay with it, Tsuna. I mean -- I don't want anything to change or be weird. ...Not that I know if anything would change... or will... we didn't really talk about anything. Just like... we went back to his apartment and took a nap for a few hours on his futon and...." A gusty, happy sigh fluttered through the ear piece. "I lied, THAT was the best thing ever. I bet you'd never believe it if I told you Gokudera cuddled. I barely believe it now!"

"Haha, really? Wow. That's... yeah. Wow. I can't even picture it. Not that I'd try, or whatever since... you know. I have Kyoko-chan, but yeah! I'm really really happy for you, Yamamoto. I-- I think that he needs someone like you in his life, to... maybe to show him that he deserves to be happy, you know?"

"Yeah. Definitely. He really does deserve that." Yamamoto sighed again, somewhat wistfully. "Do... do you think I should be worried? You know that we didn't talk about that stuff? He just said... he wanted to try it, to give it a chance but we didn't really talk about it past that... you don't think he just meant kissing, do you?" A new worry crept its way into Yamamoto's stomach and latched on.

"I don't think you should worry," Tsuna hurried to assure him. "I mean, Gokudera-kun... well he's not all that good at talking, right? So that's... to be expected. And, well, with the way he was talking when he was talking to me, before New Year's.. that and anyway, he wouldn't have... you know, 'cuddled' right? If he meant he just wanted to try kissing and not... you know, the whole thing."

Yamamoto nodded slowly, thoughtfully as though Tsuna could see him. "Yeah. I think you're right. Do you think I should ask? Or do I just -- let it happen? It'd probably be cooler not to talk about it, right? Hah... this is really different than those girls I took on dates in junior high."

"I-- I'm not sure..." Tsuna answered, clearly a bit nervous to have the love lives of his two best friends more or less in his hands. "I think maybe leave it to him to start the conversation? But in the mean time, let things go at his pace if you can? He's... well, I think he's more sensitive than he wants people to think, you know?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Haha -- so don't go like picking out curtains and rings and stuff now yeah that'd probably be a good idea." Tickled, he laughed out loud but then sobered again with a little chuckle. "Yeah. I don't want to scare him off. I feel like that's a real possibility. I mean he only said he'd try it, no promises... I guess I'd rather have that anyway though, you know? Even if it doesn't work out...I mean jeeze, today was more than I ever expected to get from Gokudera, haha. I feel like I could be satisfied with that even if nothing else ever happened!" It wasn't exactly strictly true but it was a good thing to tell himself in case of disaster.

The pause on the other line told Yamamoto that Tsuna wasn't exactly buying that sentiment either. "Just... don't forget that you deserve to be happy too, Yamamoto," Tsuna finally hummed, gentle, quiet. "Gokudera-kun is a complicated person and well, probably a lot of work too. I mean, he's a good friend and I don't want you to think I'm saying anything bad about him at all! I just.. when you're looking out for him, make sure you're looking out for yourself too, yeah?"

"Ah..." Yamamoto blinked up at the ceiling, quiet for a moment as he absorbed that. Tsuna knew them both all too well. Including his own ability to fail at considering his own needs and feelings when it came to things related to Gokudera. "Yeah. I will. Thanks, Tsuna." He grinned then. "But right now I feel like I just hit a grand slam!"

The laughter that came over the phone lines then sounded just a little relieved. "And you should! It sounds like you had an amazing New Year's. And now with this bully stuff behind you, and your new prefect badges, it's like going into the new year with a fresh start, huh?"

"Yep! Man I don't want to go back to school though," Yamamoto laughed. "Thanks for listening, sorry for talking your ear off!"

"No no! You didn't! I called you, after all! Anyway, I'm looking forward to walking to school with you both again and even studying together! Haha..."

Yamamoto grinned up at the ceiling. "Okay yeah I guess that part is pretty good!" he laughed. "Maybe we can do something this weekend before classes start back up?"

"Yeah, definitely. We haven't gone to the arcade in a long time, how about that? Or a movie maybe?"

"Sure that would be great! Let's plan on it."

"Should I talk to Gokudera-kun about it? Or do you want to?"

"I can do it!" Yamamoto said just a little too eagerly. "I mean -- I need to call him anyway. Tomorrow seems like a good time to do that, right? I thought maybe take a night off so it's not so like... clingy."

"Sure," Tsuna laughed. "I mean, that sounds about right, right?"

"Right," Yamamoto laughed easily. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? Thanks for calling me!"

"Sleep well!"

Yamamoto shut his phone and set his book aside and looked at the time. It was pretty late. He was probably better off for not calling Gokudera at the end of the day. He would probably be served well not to be too smothering and make Gokudera irritated with him, especially when there were no real 'rules' in play just yet. He wasn't sure where he stood, what Gokudera wanted from him, so like Tsuna said, he should go at the other boy's pace.

Still... maybe just a little... after all, he didn't want Gokudera to think he wasn't thinking about him. Just not that he was desperate and overbearing, right?

So he picked up his phone again and thought long and hard at the text message screen. Finally he came to a conclusion and typed, "Good night, Gokudera" and hit send.

It was a surprisingly short 2 minutes later that his phone chirped in reply. Goodnight, Baseball Freak. Happy New Year.