A/N: More random NS. Set around 2x17-2x18-ish, but don't take that too seriously. I'm not quite an expert on my S2 episodes, since Santa is bringing me the DVD and I haven't rewatched the season yet. Basically, this is just after Serena finds out about Dan and Miss Carr.

----

It's stupid, maybe, to go to a bar and drink two shots in a space of 45 seconds the moment things get a little rough. But honestly? Things have always been rough. It's when they get rougher that she needs the help of a little Grey Goose. Finding out that your very, very recent ex has had - or is having? - an affair with your teacher definitely qualifies.

She loves Dan. Or did love him. Definitely did, she thinks, as she drains the last of her second martini (her fourth actual drink). Dan was...Dan. He was her first real love. The kind of love that you get back, anyway. Or the kind of love that you know you get back and it's all mutual and agreed upon and whatever. She never really told him (but she thought he knew anyway) that she loved someone before him. For a really long time, actually. But with Dan, it was different. He was sweet and loved her like crazy and it was what she always wanted.

But then they broke up the first time, after he got all judgmental and she lied and broke down (and replied solely upon the three people who'd always been there for her, and not him). They broke up in dramatic fashion, all but refusing to let one another go, and then they parted and she hid out in the Hamptons and he hid out in Brooklyn and everything was back to normal.

And when they reunited, neither of them wanted to admit that it wasn't the same. And the real problem was that it was the same. The same things separated them (money, popularity, circumstance) and the same things brought them together (security, lust, attraction). But eventually, their differences became more and more polarizing and they drove each other away time and time again until it was for good. And she wasn't sad about it.

So why's she sad about it now?

It's probably because she always kind of thought Dan worshiped her. He'd always loved her just that little bit more than she loved him, though they both ignored it and pretended that wasn't the case. She had always been the one to go out and...cleanse her palate after a 'relationship' ended. She was the kind for meaningless hookups, or at least she used to be. Not Dan. It wasn't like him.

But, she realizes as the bartender sets another martini in front of her, maybe it is like him, and she's just never, ever judged him the way he's judged her. Maybe he judged her because he could see those few little faults and she could just never see his. She'd always assumed it was the other way around, but maybe not.

Maybe she was idealizing him, and he was the realist.

Her head hurts. Thinking while drunk sucks.

----

Nate is settled comfortably into a game of World of Warfare when his cell rings and he sees Chuck's name on his call display. Even he can't keep track of when they're talking and when they aren't, but he thinks they've been on pretty good terms lately, despite all the shit they put each other through.

He pauses his game and answers the phone with little more than a grunt.

"Nathaniel," Chuck says. "Go to Rose Bar."

"What?" Nate asks, completely confused.

"Rose Bar. Go."

"Why?"

"Because I said so," Chuck says, as though that'll make any difference whatsoever. "Look, Serena is there, and she's...in need of someone."

Nate pauses, shakes his head and lets out a soft laugh. "First of all, how do you know where she is all the time, and second of all, why me?"

"I'm her brother," Chuck says, perhaps a little too sincerely. "And...because it's you."

Nate sighs and he's still thinking it over (though he knows that, inevitably, he'll be walking out the door in a matter of minutes) and he's about to ask why Serena needs him, but Chuck has already hung up. So he grabs a sweater and slips it over his head as he heads for the door, because despite the fact that he and Serena speak pretty much only in passing these days, if she needs him, he'll be there for her. No matter what.

And he's filled with a bit of a sense of...something that's been missing for far too long, knowing he's going to meet her.

----

He steps into the bar and sees her immediately. She's impossible to miss, all blonde hair spilling down her back and long legs dangling from her bar stool. She spins her martini glass between her thumb and index finger and stares at some spot on the bar. He sees the investment bankers, men of all ages and dress, eyeing her, and so he's a little more confident in the way he walks towards her. Mostly because of all the people in the bar, he's the only one who knows her. Just the thought of it makes him smile.

She notices him only when he sits next to her, and only because she just assumes he's some sleazy married guy coming to hit on her. Her breath hitches when she sees him in his navy blue sweater and jeans, looking every bit as good as he usually does.

"Nate," she breathes out. "What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" he asks, brow raised as the bartender walks over. He orders his drink and she's still staring at him. "Chuck called me."

"How did Chuck...?" she starts, but the way he looks at her tells her not to ask because he doesn't even know. "But you came."

He shrugs his shoulder. "Of course." He raises his glass to hers and she just barely smiles. "So what's up?"

"Nothing."

"Serena," he says pleadingly, forcing her to turn towards him a little more. "C'mon. Tell me."

She takes a long drink and ignores the worry in his eyes. "Dan. He slept with Miss Carr."

"Oh." He sounds surprised and she looks at him. "Really?"

"It's all over Gossip Girl," she reminds him.

"I know, but...Really?" he repeats. She giggles and nods, because it's kind of funny that he doesn't seem to believe it. "I mean...Miss Carr is..."

"Hot."

"Totally hot," he says, laughing when she punches his arm. "But you guys broke up."

"We just broke up, Nate," she tells him seriously. "And he's going all...what's that lady's name? From The Graduate."

"Mrs. Robinson."

"Yes!" she cries. "Mrs. Robinson!"

He takes in her appearance, her school uniform skirt and plain white top, unbuttoned with her black tank top underneath and her tie hanging around her neck. No wonder every guy in the room was drooling over her. She's every man's schoolgirl fantasy come to life. She's his fantasy come to life.

He has no idea why he's thinking that way.

"Have you had anything to eat?" he asks.

"Olives."

He laughs and shakes his head, and she giggles again as she lazily rests her head on his shoulder. "That doesn't count."

"I don't wanna eat. I'm too mad," she tells him.

"You're going to get too drunk too fast," he points out. "You need to eat something."

"Ooo!" she cries, pulling away and turning towards him, all deep blue eyes and knee pressing against his. He can't help but smile. "Chicken wings!"

"What?" he laughs.

"Chicken wings. That's what I want. Chicken wings."

"I thought you were too mad," he says, watching as she drains her glass. He wonders how much she's had to drink, but he realizes that it doesn't really matter since he'll be there to look out for her anyway.

"Not anymore. You convinced me. Drink up, Nate." She's already on her feet before he can even raise his glass. She wraps her arms around him from behind, her cheek pressed against his. "Thanks for coming," she whispers.

He sets his empty glass on the bar and turns towards her to see her smiling back at him. "Sure." He laughs when she pats his cheek. "Come on. I know a place."

"You know a place?" she asks incredulously, slipping her arm through his.

"What?" he asks laughingly. "I can know places!"

"Okay," she says tiredly as they head for the door.

He knows he's the envy of every man who sees him with her. And he knows it because he's put up with that same feeling for the past two years, watching her with Dan. He had other girlfriends and girl...whatevers, but it was never, ever fun seeing her with anyone else. And that's why, selfishly, last summer was fun. It's an awful thing to think, since he had her and Catherine at the same time, but at least no one else (not really) had Serena.

Just when he's thinking about how horrible a person that makes him, Serena slips her hand into his as they walk. And there's a crazy feeling in his heart that tells him that maybe what he wanted all along was just this; just her. And he and Vanessa are as close to over as two people can be without saying the words, so he's pretty sure that wanting Serena the way he's suddenly (or maybe not suddenly) wanting her isn't really a bad thing at all. In fact, as she moves close to him, pressing against his side to let two people pass on the sidewalk, he's pretty sure it's a really good thing.

"Where are we going?" she asks.

"Not far. But if you want, I can take you home," he suggests, looking at her sympathetically.

"No! No. I don't wanna go home," she tells him, and he squeezes her hand.

"Okay." He knows he should ask why. He also knows that she'll tell him if she wants to.

"How much farther?"

"What are you, five?" he asks with a laugh. She pouts, sticks her bottom lip out like a child, and he can't help but glance at her mouth, perhaps a second too long. "It's just around the corner."

She sighs dramatically and gets as close to him as she can, and she doesn't know how, but in a matter of really only a few minutes, he's managed to change her mood completely. He always could do that, though. She'd come to him with tears on her cheeks and he'd make her laugh and smile, ever since they were little kids. Maybe she really shouldn't be surprised that he's the one with her now.

They step into a quiet little bar and Nate laughs when her face lights up. She's never even noticed the place before, but she loves it. It's all tarnished brass and burgundy leather barstools and a full wall of booze behind the bar. He smiles at her as they take a seat in an empty booth.

"How do you know about this place?" she asks, sitting as close to him as she can get, thighs touching.

He smiles and drapes his arm over the back of the booth behind her. "I had my first drink here."

"You did not!"

"Yes I did!" he laughs. "Dad brought me here when I was 12. He knew the old owner. I drank Glenfiddich 30-year." She pouts a little bit, the real kind. "What?"

"I thought I gave you your first drink," she says quietly. "Remember that time?"

"You poured a whole water goblet full of gin and forced me," he says laughingly. "I just let you think that was the first time."

She sighs and shakes her head. "You're too good to me sometimes," she says as the waitress sets two menus on the table.

Nate doesn't get a chance to respond because Serena starts making adorable small talk with the waitress. He hears her talking about sports in that charming way she has, making it seem like she's an expert on the Knicks when she probably hasn't a clue. He shakes his head at her, and she shrugs her shoulder and reaches for a menu.

"I want..."

"Wings," he supplies with a laugh. "I know."

"No, I'm picking a flavour, Nate. Wings are all about the sauce," she says, as though he should already know it and she's some kind of expert on the subject. "Oh! Honey garlic!"

"What?" he scoffs. She turns to him with her brow furrowed. "You have to get buffalo. That's the only acceptable wing."

She juts her chin forward defiantly and sets her menu down on the table. "I can have whatever I want."

He chuckles and shakes his head at her. "I know you can."

She orders them a full pitcher of beer, two baskets of wings (honey garlic and buffalo) and some fries, and two shots of tequila. When the shots arrive, she pushes both towards him and simply tells him that he has some catching up to do, and she smiles all bright and claps her hands when he tips back both shots in succession. He tells her he hates her and she immediately says that he doesn't. He can't argue with that. She, of course, decides that his wings taste so good, and that they should split them, half and half, and he can't argue with that either. For almost as long as he can remember, Serena has been his weakness. It's almost comforting to know that hasn't changed.

They've finished their food and all but a few sips of beer each, and she's got her elbow resting on the table and her hand pressed against her cheek as she looks at him. "You think it's my fault?"

"What?"

"Dan. And Miss Carr. Or Rachel. Whatever. What if I pushed him and..." She sighs and flops back against the seat behind her. "I don't know, Nate. I don't even care."

"You sound like you care," he points out. God, he's drunk. He doesn't know what kind of beer this is, but it's making her voice sound sweeter and her eyes look sadder, and he's sitting closer to her now, his arm around her shoulders and her tucked up against him.

And he doesn't want her to care.

"I don't, I just...you know how it..." She stops talking, because he does know, and she doesn't want to say it and have the tension between them, not when they're having a good time together.

"What?" he asks gently.

"You know how it feels when...when it's over, but then something happens that makes it really, really over," she says quietly, her eyes meeting his.

He nods and runs his hand over the back of her neck where it rests. "Yeah. I know," he almost whispers. There's a moment when she almost smiles at him, sort of like she wanted him to say it. "You didn't push him to do it," he tells her. "He probably would have done it no matter what."

"Would you have?" she asks. He starts shaking his head rapidly and finishes the last of his beer. "What?"

"Not answering that. No way. That's...that's a trap."

"No!" she laughs. "I don't mean...I don't know what I mean." The song overhead switches and a new bass line thumps through the bar, and her face lights up. "I love this song!"

She gets a bit of a sparkle in her eye and bites the corner of her lip. Her hand falls to rest atop his on the table, and he shakes his head again. "No. Serena, no."

"Please!"

"No!" he says, but she's already pulling him up from his seat and there's no way he can say no to her, not seriously.

Her hips start to sway, the pleated skirt she wears flaring a bit when she twirls around, never letting go of his hand. When she rests her hands on either side of his neck as she dances, he finds himself moving with her. God, this girl is intoxicating. She smiles when she notices he's actually dancing with her. There's no one else in the bar but a few men playing pool, and the waitress. There's certainly no one else dancing. She presses herself against him, slowing their movements despite the fast tempo of the song, and wraps her arms around his neck.

"I always liked dancing with you best," she confesses in a sexy whisper.

His hands find her hips, and her breath hits his neck, and he thinks back on his night, how he went from playing video games to getting drunk at this bar with this girl. It's a school night, and he knows he's going to be hungover tomorrow, but none of that really seems to matter when she has her head resting against his and her fingers are toying with the hair at the back of his neck.

"I'm sleepy," she sighs.

He very nearly laughs, because in a span of about five minutes, she's shown him almost every side of her. Sad and lonely, to excited and crazy, to sweet and sexy, to childish and downright adorable. There's not one single part of her that he doesn't like. A whole lot.

"Come on," he says, pulling away a little. "I'll get you home."

She shakes her head vehemently, making her sway on her feet a little, which forces him to steady her. "I don't want to go to my home."

"Serena..."

"Rufus is always there. And he'll try to talk to me about Dan. And he's always cooking stuff in the morning. Waffles. And there's like, eight different jams. That's too many jams, Nate!"

He laughs, because of course she'd complain about jam with regards to her mother's...whatever it is exactly that Rufus is. "And you only need one." She smiles, loving that he knows her so well. "Strawberry."

"It's the best one," she says seriously. He pulls out his wallet and drops enough cash on the table to cover their tab, and then she's got his hand again as they walk to the door. "Take me to your house."

He doesn't know what makes him do it, but he kisses the top of her head as they step onto the sidewalk. She's just so sweet. "Okay."

There's something so very nice about walking with Nate like this, holding his hand like his hand is hers to hold. She always wanted this, when she was younger, when Blair had Nate and Serena had whoever she had. She was always jealous of Blair, and Blair was always jealous of her, and Serena never really knew why until that night at that wedding when Serena got what she'd always wanted (Nate) and realized, despite her drunken haze, that she'd probably always had him anyway.

She thinks she might still have him now. Maybe she wants him now and he's in a position to really want her back.

But her head is swimming with vodka and beer and Nate's palm pressed against hers, and suddenly Dan and her family and everything else doesn't matter.

He pushes open the front door of his house and she kicks off her heels and peels her button down shirt off. He has to keep himself from staring. It's stupid, really, since he's seen all of her, but it's always kind of amazing to see any of her, especially after how far away she's felt this year.

"It's quiet here," she notes, smiling as she walks backwards away from him. "I want a martini."

"You don't need a martini," he insists seriously. "Come on. We'll just...hang out."

"With martinis?" She bats her lashes and he laughs, because she's just so used to getting her way and she knows how to do it without fail.

"How about vodka tonic?" he suggests as they make their way into the kitchen. "And I'll mix."

She rolls her eyes because she knows he's going to mix some seriously weak drinks, but he's probably right in that she really doesn't need to drink any more anyway. She watches the way his sweater rides up when he reaches for some ice, and she almost laughs, because he's always been annoyingly tan, all year round, and she and Blair used to pout and complain that it wasn't fair at all.

"What?" he asks. It's kind of playful because he caught her staring and it's usually the other way around.

"Nothing." He stares her down as he drops ice into two glasses. "You look good, Nate."

He thinks he might be blushing or something stupid like that, and so he turns his attention to pouring vodka as she hops up onto the counter. "Thanks."

Chuck was always the bartender. Nate would make sure the girls got home okay, but Chuck always mixed the drinks. It's weird to see Nate doing it, but it's kind of...hot, too. She likes it. He doesn't use a stir stick after he's poured in the tonic, just swishes the liquid around in the glass. There's something manly about it somehow, and...He's kind of making her head spin, and she knows it's him and not the alcohol, because she used to feel this all the time.

"Come here," she says. He furrows his brow and carries the two glasses as he crosses the room, and when he tries to hand one to her, she shakes her head. "No. Come here."

He doesn't know what she's doing, but he complies, because who is he not to? He sets the glasses on either side of her and stands right in front of her, and she wraps her arms around him, pulling him into the space between her legs. She hugs him tightly and he hugs her back, and she kisses his cheek and says, "Thank you."

"Sure," he says, because he can't think of anything else and she's already thanked him once tonight.

She pulls away and grins as she reaches for her glass, and she takes a sip and sighs like she hasn't had anything to drink in days. "Oh, I know!"

He laughs and shakes his head. "I don't know if I'm up for another adventure."

"Can we just hang out in your room?" she asks. She giggles when he sighs in relief.

"Yeah."

"Finish drinks first!" she announces.

"Serena..." But it's too late, and she's already drinking back the contents of her glass, and he knows that if he doesn't follow suit, she'll pout at him again or something, so he does the same. "You're insane. You know that, right?"

She shrugs her shoulder and hops down off the counter, her skirt flipping up and giving him a glimpse of her lacy yellow underwear.

He's back to square one, and it happened so damn fast that he's left playing catch up. Square one being that he's almost positive that he needs her. He honestly doesn't even know how they're both still functioning. It's closing in on one a.m., and they've had way too much to drink, but she's heading up the stairs towards his floor of the townhouse, and he follows close behind, because if he's any more than five steps behind her he can see up her skirt, and he doesn't want the temptation. He's got enough of that already.

She flops back on his bed and he pulls his sweater off, leaving him in only a tee shirt and his jeans. He sees the strip of skin between her skirt and tank top when she raises her arms over her head. She must have noticed, because she kicks at his shin a little bit and laughs, and he rolls his eyes. She rolls onto her side and tucks her hands up under her cheek as she watches him move around his room. Truthfully, it's taking a lot of self-restraint to not let himself just lay down with her (on top of her).

"I think it's bedtime," she says.

He laughs. "That's why we came here."

"But...you're all the way over there," she says, grinning up at him. He smiles and steps out of his jeans before laying down next to her, and she moves closer to him, immediately pushing at the cotton of his tee shirt like she wants him to take it off. So he does. "Better," she says.

"Are you?" he asks. She nods her head, but he doesn't quite believe her. She yawns and it makes him smile, for some reason. Apparently he's just going to love everything she does. "Go to sleep."

Maybe he should have, but he doesn't expect her to stand up and unzip her skirt, letting it fall to the floor. He can't help but look her up and down, and she doesn't even notice, or if she does, she doesn't care. She's just...perfect. So perfect that it shouldn't even be allowed. He doesn't know when (or how) he lost sight of that, but it's all painfully clear right now. She crawls beneath the covers, shivering a little bit, and her hand finds his so she can hold it between them.

She just looks at him for a moment, his hair falling in his face and his eyes blinking back at her, and her heart races a little bit, like it used to when it was just the two of them and he'd look at her this way. She thinks there's more going on here than just him comforting her.

She doesn't even need comforting anymore.

"He's an idiot, you know," Nate says with finality. She looks over at him, looking every bit as innocent as she isn't. She's vulnerable in a way she only is with him. "Dan. He's an idiot. Losing you, I mean."

"Nate..."

"No," he says, cutting her off. "It's true. I know it's true." He takes a deep breath and lets it out fast. "I've been that idiot."

She shakes her head and moves closer to him, her legs tangling with his and his hand moving to rest on her hip. "No. You...that was different."

"Not really. It was still...someone else instead of you, and...It shouldn't have been. I should have...I don't know. Tried harder or...something."

He has no idea where these words and this courage is coming from, but his heart is pounding, hoping to God he's not making a huge mistake putting himself out there again.

At least this time, he has the option of blaming it on the alcohol. If he did, they'd both know he was lying, but at least he'd have some excuse.

A smile plays on her lips and she toys with the waist band of his boxers at his hip. "Maybe I should have let you," she says quietly. She doesn't get a chance to regret the words, because his lips are on hers instantly. He pulls away after a few seconds, and she kisses him again before he can try to apologize. She sighs a little and gets as close to him as she can. "I forgot how good that is," she says. "Kissing you."

He wraps his arms around her and reaches over to switch off the light. "I didn't."

They don't say anything more, just fall asleep together in the middle of his bed.

----

She wakes up alone, and when she checks the time, it's after 10:00. She's got a bit of a headache, and she's starving, but as she recalls certain things about the night before, all she can do is smile and turn so she's laying on her back. She hears him moving around and talking to someone, so she just waits for him to come back.

When he does, he's wearing a pair of pajama pants and a tee shirt, and he smiles and leans over to kiss her forehead. "'Morning," he says quietly, sitting down next to her.

"Who were you talking to?"

"Made a couple calls," he says vaguely. She raises her brow. "I talked to your mom."

"So responsible," she teases. But that's part of the reason that she's always tried to keep him so close to her. He takes care of her without babying her. She's always liked that about him. She certainly likes the way his hand is resting over her stomach right now. "Thanks."

"I um...also talked to Vanessa."

Serena's face changes. She doesn't know what he's getting at. It could either be really bad, or really, really good. "Oh."

"I broke it off with her. Officially," he says. She bites her bottom lip to keep from smiling too widely, and when he laughs, she sits up and throws her arms around him, kissing his cheek and his neck. "Serena."

"Nate," she whispers. She pulls away and he smiles at her as he brushes the hair from her face. "Are you really...Are we really...?"

"I want to if you want to."

She kisses him hard, practically throwing herself into his lap, and he laughs when they part. "I want to." She pulls him back into bed and tugs the sheets up around them again, since they're obviously not going to school and she's okay with them not going anywhere. "We're crazy."

"Probably," he says. She giggles against his chest. "But it's a good crazy. I like our crazy."

She's laughing when she kisses him again. That's how they spend the rest of their day.

----

Serena skips up the steps to school with Nate laughing behind her, and she stops at the entrance to the courtyard when she sees Dan, Vanessa and Jenny talking with one another, and Blair and Chuck, heads close together, whispering about something or another (probably the perpetually messy state of their relationship). It's Serena and Nate's first day back to school after...everything, and when she notices that everyone's staring at her, she turns around and looks at Nate.

"Ready?" he asks.

"Are you?" She gets this sexy, flirty smirk on her lips and she looks at him through her eyelashes.

He knows that face.

He knows she's about to do something crazy that'll get people talking and ruffle some feathers.

But he can't stop her from grabbing his tie in one hand and the lapel of his jacket in the other, and pulling him into a kiss that is really, really not appropriate for school grounds. People snap pictures and start whispering immediately, and Serena giggles when they part. It's kind of a deja vu, actually, them kissing just to get a rise out of someone.

But this time, she slips her hand into his and he kisses the top of her hair as they walk over to a very surprised-looking Blair, and a very amused-looking Chuck. And this time, Serena doesn't care that Dan's watching, and Nate isn't worrying about another woman. It's not just for show.

Serena just laughs and Nate smiles when they get a Gossip Girl blast moments later with a photo of their public display and the words "ABOUT TIME!" in bright blue lettering printed out at the bottom.

-Fin-