A/N: This features abuse of over the counter medicines. Please take note of that before reading.

Spoilers for 2x03 Red Badge and 2x10 Throwing Fire.

x tromana

Title: Addiction
Author: tromana
Rating: T
Characters: Jane/Lisbon Team
Disclaimer: Unless it's under the Christmas tree, then the answer is still no.
Summary: It starts off painfully simply, it always does. Every single day, in fact. Jane/Lisbon
Spoilers: 2x03 Red Badge, 2x10 Throwing Fire
Notes: Written for hoshinekoyasha who asked for a fic based on Lisbon and drugs overdose/reliance.

Addiction

Part One

It starts off painfully simply, it always does. Every single day, in fact. Just a slight pressure in the center of her forehead, enough to irritate her, but certainly not enough for her to go to extremes. Just take a couple of tablets, swallow it down, grimacing ever so slightly, with a sip of water. It won't be long until the active ingredient in the drug, some strange medicinal compound which she doesn't quite understand but appreciates a lot, is coursing through her blood supply, heading towards where it hurts. Soon enough, the pain will be stopped and she will be back to normal. Back to cool, calm, competent Teresa Lisbon. A simple headache is never going to be enough to stop her in her tracks.

It's hard for other people to notice when you start abusing painkillers. Keeping track of just how often someone slips an incongruous little pill between their lips is something that's easy to ignore. Easy to hide, too. Especially when that person is prone to headaches anyway. To be fair, it's also easy for you yourself to not notice it too, not until someone points it out to you. And that's exactly what's happening to Lisbon.

She blames it on the washout, at first. Getting rid of the Lorazepam from her system had all sorts of side-effects. Irritability, sleeplessness… headaches was just another in a line that she associates with those. Surely it was better for her to take two little pills, a couple of times a day and she'll feel much, much better. She's not abusing the medication, simply using it. It ensures she can carry on doing her job, stops her from snapping at Jane quite so much. Means she still has that resolve and clear head to do what she needs to do.

Her eyes look particularly heavy today, withdrawn. She's grateful for the miracle of medical science - at least she'll start feeling a bit brighter in a couple of hours or so. Just when she walks into the office, if she manages to get there on time. Which, naturally, she will, because she's Lisbon and she has an image to maintain. She's the boss, she can't be late. With a sigh, she pulls out her makeup case. There's a reason she's been wearing more of late - she wants to try and disguise the fact that she may be just a little run down from Jane, at the very least. It'll pass over time. Give her a month or so and she'll be as right as rain, whatever that means.

Van Pelt gives her a bright smile as she crawls out of her car at the CBI headquarters an hour later, feeling very sorry for herself. Maybe she'd mistaken a migraine for a headache? Not that it'd make any difference of course, she'd still come into work and throw everything into whatever case comes their way. What else can she do? It's not as if she can afford to stay off work sick and even if she could, she doesn't have anyone to look after her and goodness knows, misery loves company. The red head holds the elevator for her and as they travel up to the third floor.

"Hi Boss."

The younger woman is as bubbly and enthusiastic as ever. Her smile only falters slightly when Lisbon nods and murmurs her response.

"I was thinking…"

"I don't care," she snaps, only feeling slightly guilty when Van Pelt's face falls completely. "Tell me later, okay?"

"When you've had some caffeine?"

"Maybe."

Her office, the one place where she should be able to guarantee peace and solitude in the whole building, has never seemed more welcoming. Especially because it means she can get away from Van Pelt's inane chatter and calm down a little bit. Only problem is, it isn't quite as she left it last night and that irks her somewhat as this is meant to be her own private space. The main difference being, a coffee has been placed on her desk, waiting for her to arrive. Lisbon doesn't need any hints to know who's responsible for this: only one person would have the audacity to pick the lock purely to leave a hot drink in there. It's a sweet gesture, but frankly, she doesn't feel in the mood for coffee. Then again, the only thing she does feel in the mood for is her warm bed.

She's only just picked up the Stasiowraski file and her highlighter when Jane appears at her door. Lisbon places it down in front of her with a sigh, wishing that she could have just five minutes alone to be able to breathe and at the very least, make a start on her work. They never know when the phone is going to ring and pull them out to goodness knew where, after all. Whenever there is a brief moment of peace, she has to make the very most of it. And that always, always means catching up with paperwork. With Patrick Jane on your team, that always means you're going to be inundated by it. She focuses her tired eyes on him and he approaches, with apparent concern. He doesn't like seeing her missing that spark she had just a month ago.

That's why he's here. He has to step in, to intervene. She'll inadvertently kill herself at this rate.

"Lisbon," Jane whispers her name, sounding almost predatory. He has her trapped in her own office and for the first time, she actually feels terrified being in his presence. "Lisbon, I think you have a problem."

"I do not," she retorts angrily, furious that he could insinuate such a thing.

"You do," he persists and pulls out a tub of tablets, shaking them in front of her casually. "These. You're addicted to them."

"I'm not," she replies, quickly snatching them out of his hand. "I just take them when I have a headache."

"Every day?"

"Maybe I have a headache every day."

"Then you have a problem."

"Get out," she snaps the two words and he flinches at the callousness of her words. "Get out, get out, get out!"

Lisbon is seconds away from throwing something, so sensibly (for a change), he makes a hasty retreat. Back, into the relative safety of the bullpen. There's three more state agents in there, she can't, won't, hurt him in there. Not without major repercussions, anyway. Though, in saying that, they would probably see it as a mercy killing due to the fact that he can apparently be rather irritating. But still, he was theoretically safer in there, at any rate.

She slumped over her desk, her forehead coming into immediate contact with the cool surface of the wooden desk. It felt surprisingly refreshing, something that Lisbon felt like she needed right now. Anything, to try and dull the throbbing ache that had been manifesting throughout the day. Instinctively, she grabs the tub that Jane has left on her desk and unscrews the lid. She looks at the little white tablets as they lay in her hand for a second. She can't help it, she needs them today.

And she's not overdosing. She's not reliant on the damn things. It's something you can buy over the counter - it can't be dangerous.

Can it?

TBC…