C L I C K

"In which Emily is awesome and knows all. About Derek and Casey, anyway."

AWESOME!EMILY.

CONFUSED!CASEY.

DEREK / CASEY.

"Em?"

"Yeah?"

"I…I think I might have fallen in love with this guy. Again."

"What happened?"

"Okay, well, let's just say, hypothetically, that this girl and this guy never had a relationship-relationship, but the one they already had was so messed up that the girl couldn't possibly subject the both of them to endure something so emotionally-draining as a romantic relationship. And considering he has no feelings, that type of relationship might stress the very few brain cells he's managed to procure over the years that pertain to these type of...romantic what's-its.

So, the girl managed to get herself to become interested in other boys. But-but she keep going back to him, that one guy…like the farther she strayed away from him, the more she fell for him. And it made her feel horrible, because you know he'd never feel the same way about her and that everyone around her wouldn't get it…but that didn't stop her. And then something happened that made her doubt that he didn't have any of those feelings for her. If you were the girl, what…what would you do?"

"Derek?"

Casey didn't even bother asking how she knew. Emily might have been the first one to see it. "Derek," she confirmed.

"He kissed you?"

"Yeah."

"Accidentally, but with just enough of anawkward-enough pause afterward to make you doubt everything you have ever known about your relationship?"

"Um…yeah."

"Well, I would call my best friend and tell her the whole situation, which she knew would happen eventually. Then, the best friend would say something like, oh, I don't know, what took you so long and do you have any idea how much interest has collected on the bets placed on when this would happen?"

"There are bets?" Casey asked meekly.

"Honey, a casino could open with the money we've invested in this."

"…Oh."

"Anyway! Then, the best friend would give me the most amazing advice-"

"Emily, could we drop the whole 'hypothetical-situation-talking-in-third-person' thing?"

"Nope! Do you know how long we've all waited for this? I want to make this 'I told you so' last as long as it possibly can."

"Uh, okay."

"Like I was saying, the best friend would give me the most amazing advice, like 'go to him, have an awkward conversation about your feelings, make out, and live happily never after.' Because we all know you and Derek can't be happy all the time. You'll be too busy fighting, making up, and repeating the cycle."

"Um…"

"Now the girl should hang up the phone and follow the best friend's advice, which will ultimately lead the girl to everlasting happiness and the best friend all the way to the bank."

"Wait! I just want to know one thing before I go get my, um, happily never after."

"What?"

"How much?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow when I pull up in my brand new sports car."

Click.