A/N: Here it is!

Sorry for the wait.

Thank you to all my reviewers so far!

-o-o-o-

Tainted

Chapter Eight ~ The Gap Between Us

"I won't hurt you. Just trust me. I promise to protect you as I protect Saya."

"Why would you want to protect me as you do Saya-nee-chan?"

"Because I may not be able to protect and support Saya forever…When than time comes, you must be there for her…You are her future. And as her chevalier, you become my brother."

Hazel orbs blinked up at the off-white plaster on the ceiling; unknowingly sending tears down pale cheeks. They flowed in torrents; unnoticed by the seemingly indifferent teen as he lay with his back on the soft, comfortable bedding that were different shades of green – a light, water green for the sheets and pillow cases, a darker moss for the decorative embroidery and a deep forest green for the comforter.

He turned onto his side; still in a trance as the words echoed miserably through his head –torturing him for his incompetence.

"Does this mean I can call you Hagi-onii-sama!"

A nod had been the simple, soundless answer whose owner he'd give anything see again.

"And will you call me Riku-Otouto?"

How naïve was he to think that he would be deserving of such a title…

In his mind, the fundamental reason that Hagi had befriended him had not been met. He had not protected Saya in Hagi's absence at all. Rather, he'd cowered behind her the whole time. He did not deserve to be called the brother of such an intellectual, valiant and beautiful man…

If his powers had just awoken earlier he could have helped. Instead, he was useless on 'That Night,' a year ago, and when he and Saya had stormed Solomon's Paris home. On both occasions he had been forced to run and hide while his Hagi-Onii-sama was taken from them. And the second time, he had been captured! Even after Hagi entrusted Saya to him! He not only let himself become exposed and vulnerable but he let Saya go on that foolish and dangerous man-hunt, and enter the accursed mansion in the first place! Not to mention – much to his guilt- he was then so easily captured and used as leverage by their enemies against Saya. His poor Nee-chan had been forced to choose between them both and when she was unable, Hagi again sacrificed himself!

It was unsightly how useless he was…

His sin was treason and he had been sentenced to life of regret, shame and guilt without even a trial –not that he thought he deserved one.

Every time...

Every single time there was trouble afoot, he was hidden and sheltered and protected like some helpless babe.

He was tired of being cuddled like an infant.

Of course, it would help greatly if he ceased to look like one, (which was regrettably impossible thanks to him being unable to age) and actually began to pull his weight in the arena. Thankfully, that last one would no longer be a problem…

Four nights ago, there had been a chiropteran sighting near an abandoned apartment complex. He and his queen had rushed to the scene; where it had finally happened…

Flashback

Saya had run down the hall; canines bared as she snarled out her trademark battle cry, heading straight for the snarling chiropteran at its end.

The thing had roared; clearly displaying its teeth as a threat, but it soon changed into a howl of pain as it began to crystallize –Saya's bloodied katana plunged deep into the flesh of its mid-section.

For a few moments, all was still. Seconds later though, it shattered into a billion shards of stone; scattered this way and that.

But it was not over yet.

Fierce eyes of a piercing scarlet that flashed with immense, soul-deep hatred and violence caught movement to the left. To the chiropteran then sliced in two, it was a fatal mistake to be spotted by her. Yet, it was still not over. It had been four hours, but it wasn't.

It never was…

Again and again, she plunged her blade into the hollow caverns of their soon to be stony and cold bodies. Marking them with her fury. Marking them with her loathing. Marking them the way that woman had marked him…

An enraged growl of wrath escaped her blood-colored lips as she spotted another to her right; just about twenty-seven feet or so away. It wasn't far. Nowhere was far enough to protect them, to hide them away from her.

She was determined like never before to be the sharpened blade that sliced through the filth keeping him from her. She would be like her katana, and would tear through the time and space between them. Between her and…

No!

She dared not say it. Dared not say his name…

She couldn't.

It hurt too much.

For it was all her fault. For forgetting… For running away… For being so useless… For being so naïve… So damn gullible. It made her sick to think what he could be going through at that very second!

Another incensed, animalistic sound passed her lips unchecked as she flung herself at the beast; her superhuman abilities allowing her to cross the large space and pounce on the unsuspecting creature with venomous intentions. Soon she was hacking away at it; plunging her blade deep into its long dead and long crystallized corpse.

She screamed in anguish; raw emotion- agony, tearing through her very being and escaping through her hoarse, trembling voice.

Just thinking about Ha-him, and his suffering made her trip.

Her blazing eyes set the entire scene aflame in the most comforting shade of crimson; the color of blood. Sweet, sweet blood… That sweet, satisfying, nectar of life…! From maroon to scarlet and all those sweet shades of red in between, oh! She loved it. Thirsted for it with a thirst that rivaled the one she had for him. So, yeah. She adored that sweet, delicious blood!

Of course she did, it was the only constant in her life.

It was all that remained with her to remind her of what her entire existence revolved around.

Killing that thing, called her 'sister.' Diva…

So paint the world red for the sake of those few, blissful moments of reprieve. Those little minutes that the merciless clock took away with each tick and tock. Let it all be the color of the sinful stain on her heart; that beautiful, desperate, unholy red that she soaked his pure, pure soul in. All for those moments when the ache and grief wasn't so bad. All for those moments when the memories were pleasant and she could remember that, hey, he smiled too. Yes, the minutes that she could hold onto the hope that if he once used to smile like that, then maybe, just maybe… If she could end it all and send both herself and her other into oblivion; that maybe someday he would again…? Yes, the times when she could agree with herself that it was possible. Because she was working, she was trying so hard! He had to believe her when she said that she had never wanted to end it so much.

"God… Please," It was but a whispered utterance. "If you could send down a miracle; just this once, send me a small mercy! Please, tell Hagi -yes, and I believe it is worth the pain of actually saying it if my begging pays off- please, just…!"

She took a shaky breath.

"Lord," She continued her long over-due prayer. "Please tell him that I'm trying and that I, I love him…"

A second later she was looking up, into the crying skies and wondering just when exactly it had begun to rain.

She hadn't noticed at all.

Her clothes were soaked through and through, rain drops were meddling with tear drops she hadn't even known she'd shed, and she hadn't noticed at all… Standing there under that gaping hole in the roof of the dilapidated building, she'd gotten so caught up that, well, she'd turned out everything and everyone else.

A great roar came from the distance followed by a cry of pain and she came to the stunning realization that she'd been careless again.

The yelp of surprised distress that sounded moments after the shocking discovery of her unfailing stupidity could only belong to Riku, and she was once again stunned speechless by her persistent and idiotic negligence! When would she realize how much it weighed on her to protect those she loved? How could she let the same thing happen twice? She needed to be alert at all times!

Stupid, stupid, stupid, Saya!

Damn it!

Once again berating herself for such never-ending and blatant disregard she chased down the screaming slap of heavy, grayish-black, gothic-styled combat boots against cold cement. Ragged pants seeming to torture little lungs, and body ravished and clothed anew with bruises… In her mind's eye she could practically see it.

And as she slid onto the mostly destroyed roof, she realized that her intuition had been right.

To the T.

She could feel Riku's fright, near tangible in the ever electrifying air. She could see him tremble to hold in the scream lodged in his throat and just barely contain it.

He'd hung on rather gallantly, Saya realized with the tiniest of smiles blooming on her lips. Riku had stood there in his little in his ashen scissor-tail coat over stark white shirt that she had whole-heartedly agreed matched so cutely with his shoes and bow tie earlier that day, and stalled the monster. He'd been reasonable enough not to consider 'manly pride' or anything like that. He didn't think like that. And it was a good thing he didn't care much about those things, too, for that was why Kai had once been banned from going on missions.

"Good boy, Riku…" Spoke Saya. "Just wait. Don't move. Don't make a sound. Or you know what happens then…"

Riku paled at the reminder.

They both knew that the moment you moved or made but a single sound… it was over, always. Luckily though, they didn't have to worry about scent. Otherwise they both knew Riku would be dead by now. Or at least could have come a little too close several times… It seemed that besides the scent of blood, common chiropterans' noses didn't seem to be very sharp –fortunately, unlike their eyes and ears- and therefore couldn't smell the hormones released in thick bouts when afraid.

"It's okay." She shushed, reassuringly. "I'm coming."

Though the beast's gaze remind locked onto the boy, they knew that it was all-too aware of Saya and every move she made.

And as the beast towered before him, Riku finally signed his death certificate…a squeak escaped his unchecked lips. And then, the stillness of the moment was shattered.

Hearing the boy's admission of fear was as all it took, and both she and the beast sprung into action. The chiropteran slashed at Riku, trying to spear him through the middle with its ferocious claws. He quickly dodged, jumping back agilely. But unfortunately, he overestimated the distance between him and the ledge of the ramshackle building.

In that one moment time slowed down for them both.

'Saya-Nee-chan…' Thought Riku, forlornly as the wind that gradually began to pick up, and whip the auburn locks of his hair. He watched Saya's widened burgundy eyes flicker with chocolate and terror. 'I'm sorry I was so useless…'

And then time picked up again; the wind whipping at his tailed-overcoat, making his hair slap against his cheeks a little and create stinging red marks that disappeared all too quickly -much faster than normal, even for one like him.

Riku was caught-up in his thoughts of his death, and bracing himself for the pain that would rake through his body when it slammed into the pavement. So, he didn't notice when the first waves of tingling energy rippled through his body. But within moments, he felt them. Steadily they grew fiercer and soon he gasped the otherworldly sensation of an unfamiliar metamorphosis originating in his very bones…

Before he knew it a single thought echoed through his mind as if it belonged there; as if by instinct.

'Flap… Fly… Be free…' Breathed an all too familiar voice.

And suddenly, a memory or vision of some sort that was not his own, flittered through his mind.

He saw Hagi; a great, beaming and enrapturing smile on his slightly parted lips. His eyes were as melted pools of moonlight on the deep royal blue sea - a molten brandeis. The man was dressed in a pale blue sweater with gray ribbon detail tied off as a bow-tie of sorts around the neck, and deep, navy pants.

The high heels of his ankle-high black boots clacked against the off-white, marble tile of a courtyard as he glided forwards with a bird cage lying on his left palm. His pale right hand rested lightly on the tarp covering the cage. Its silver glinted in the light of bright morning sun and a gentle breeze tussled his wavy ebony locks as his is graceful and slender fingers clenched on the cloth and tugged it away. It revealed a small blue bird perched on a swinging bar hanging from the top of the cage. It tweeted sweetly; singing Hagi a little song in gratitude of taking such great care of it. Hagi's features softened farther and he whistled back a gentle melody with the smile to match. He unlocked the cage door and grasped the bird's little body with the uttermost care. He took it out; cuddling the petite body to his cheek with nearly tearful eyes.

"It's sad…" He said in almost a daze. "That you have to leave. But it's time for you to soar on your own. No longer are you but that little, wounded hatchling, you must now carve your own path in the skies above…"

He put down the cage then and a single bittersweet tear slid down his cheek.

"And though it's said that nothing lasts forever, love always remains. So, remember that I love you as you take off."

Here, he repeated the uttered phrase Riku first heard.

"Flap… Fly… Be free…"

His willowy figure jerked slightly as he tossed the petite body to the open air; unprotected and to fend for its self.

But it was for its own good.

At first the little birdie fell and Hagi held his breath. In seconds though –what seemed to be the longest seconds of Hagi's life- it quickly adapted.

Hagi's entire face lit up with joy and pride as he watched it; lips quirking with sheer delight as the tiny bird flew; soaring high…

The man stood there a moment longer, before he literally walked beyond the reach of Riku's mind and the vision dissolved.

When he finally came to himself again, he was hovering over the gaping hole in the roof of the apartment building, the chiropteran was but rubble, Saya was beaming up at him with a strange mixture of awe, nostalgia and happiness, and as his back twitched, he opened his mouth to ask where those leathery wings came from, before he realized that he could not.

He had a beak, and his voice came out as a croaking, awkward cry.

He had been transformed.

End Flashback

According to Saya and the rest of the team (since he had to fly back to home base and spent three days in that form before figuring out how to morph back into this one), he looked like some sort of winged, skeletal bird-thing…

He sighed.

He'd not told Saya about his vision- he didn't want to hurt her- but, he idly wondered if it could help them find Hagi –if his vision wasn't just a hallucination.

He frowned at that thought. When he'd thought it over it had made sense, but he could help but think that it was too realistic and that he should tell his queen.

-o-o-o-

"Can I look, now~?" A pretty, blue-eyed girl inquired as a handsome man lead her through a luscious flower garden at night, with his slender, long fingered hand and bandaged appendage blocking her eyes.

"Non!" Replied the man with mirth richly lacing his voice. "You absolutely may not open those lovely eyes of yours…"

"But why, Hagi-muffin~?" Diva whined in complaint once more.

"Because…" Hagi breathed seductively against her left ear, nipping at it slightly. "Ces't un surprise…"

"A surprise!" She cried; aghast. "Not again! Is this why you've been torturing me with the suspense for hours, then?"

At her words the man threw his head back and laughed out loud with false evilness that soon inevitably faded into his natural laughter.

The girl's heart fluttered at the sound; even if it was at her expense that it was brought forth.

It was always worth it.

"Precisely…" He muttered wickedly; a mischievous smile dancing upon his lips.

Diva groaned.

"Cruel…" Breathed she. "You're much too cruel, love…"

The man chuckled; shaking his head in exasperation at his fiancée's melodramatic antics.

"Am I?" He asked; playing along.

"Yes!" She affirmed. "Much too cruel for it to be healthy!"

He only laughed in response.

"See it as a lesson in patience, my dear!" He spoke a moment later, the prominent tilt to his lips ever presence. "…A virtue you most despairingly lack!"He laughed yet again; slate-blue orbs twinkling with joy and light-hearted emotion. As he spoke to the young woman in his arms his eyes glazed over ever more with love.

Yes, he'd come to love this woman.

The only one who loved him enough to stay with him after the terrible accident he'd suffered at the hands of her malicious, red-eyed twin sister. The one that cost him his memories…

Luckily for him, he had a strong, beautiful, loving wife-to-be. And she was always very patient with him –especially when it came to explaining to him that he was a chevalier and that they were chiropterans- and eagerly told him everything he ever wanted to know about himself, her, their family and their childhood together at the Zoo.

The Zoo…

It rang a bell.

Most of it sounded really familiar. Though the parts about him acquiring his several brothers always left him puzzled…

He only wished he could see the place they were raised. Visiting it might have jogged his memories. But Diva's evil sister, Saya, usually hung about that area. Obviously, they couldn't go until he was fully recovered and could better control his powers. It was too dangerous.

Still, it had him pouting and moody and grumbling about his uselessness.

But he trusted her judgment. Besides, she'd never lie to him.

"Hagi~!"

Her voice snapped him out of his thoughtful trance.

He blinked.

"Hum?"

"When are we gonna get to this gracious surprise of yours, anyway?" His mistress demanded.

"Soon…" He replied coolly.

"How soon is 'soon'~?" She questioned – again she was whining impatiently.

And what an adorable whine it was…

Hagi never tired of hearing it coat her voice. It gave him shivers and fed the more… sadistic elements of his nature.

…Which he didn't have much of but loved to indulge in any case.

"…Hum…" He drawled out slowly in wicked punishment. "I'd have to say…"

"Yes! Yes…!"

"Quite soon!" He finished cheerily with a beaming smile she couldn't see, but could definitely feel- sense more like it.

And oh!

Oh how it mocked her!

"Hagi!" She growled; about to launch into a rant.

"Oh lookie!" He interrupted brightly. "There it is!"

With that he removed his hands.

Diva gasped at the sight; tears nearly instantly brimming at the corners of her eyes.

It was a lovely spring night; the sky was clear -showing off its most brightly burning stars that contrasted amazingly with vast darkness of midnight- and the crescent moon glowed silver; its ivory light bathing the entire valley –from the soft, rolling hills to the lush, grassy plain to the sparkling lake- in its ethereal light.

"Voila!" He cried; gesturing to the view.

There was a telescope further ahead atop the little cliff they stood perched upon, a rather large tent with a flowing silver canopy over white drapes that enclosed a thick white comforter with silver and water green embroidery and a matching plethora of pillows spread atop it to their left, and an exceptional, Italian-styled, candle-lit dinner for two set-up on a glass table to their right- complete with red wine, a white-iced cake with strawberries and rose petals on top, shinning silver cutlery and a lace table cloth with a blue rose lying off to the side.

It was so corny but, at the same time, so romantic.

"Did you do all of this by yourself?" She asked; her voice cracking a bit at the end.

"Oui, mon chéri!"

"I-I… I don't know what to say…" She breathed as a single tear made its way down her face.

He smiled warmly and wiped it away with a sweet kiss. "Then say nothing…"He breathed in return, french accent heavy.

Then, walking over to the table to pluck the blue rose from on top of it and then glide over to her; bowing with gusto and offering it to her, he spoke; his words sliding of his tongue like silk. "And give me a kiss for all my efforts…" Was the purred sentence; voice laced with charm. Only his eyes belied each and every ounce of the gentlemanly nature demonstrated by the appropriate distance that he kept physically. Instead, his angular, sensual, cerulean eyes betrayed sin. Pure sin…

…All for her…

Damn it! Did he always have to be so damn sexy? So damn delicious? As if he'd just stepped out of her latest fantasy?

She stepped forward, accepting the rose and when he straightened, she pushed him backwards towards the tent as he laughed at her eager nature.

Screw dinner, (it's not like she cared for human food at all, anyways) she had the most delicious meal of all moaning into her kiss.

-o-o-o-

Lying in the tent on the snowy comforter, Hagi stared at Diva's sleeping face.

Their legs intertwined under the sheets and hands embracing each other; Hagi's heart did flips at the thought of this level of intimacy with his queen. Diva's right hand was draped possessively around his waist and her left rested under her ear and over Hagi's heart as she listened to the lulling song of his life beneath. In turn he was rubbing minuscule circular motions on her bare, lower back with his own right hand as he stroked her flowing, ebony mane languidly with his left. He smiled dreamily as a breathless little laugh left his parted lips.

Finally, after all those years of loyalty, love and dedication, over a century of devotion to this woman…

Finally, those feelings were returned!

The image of a young woman, perhaps about sixteen years old, sitting in a field amongst yellow flowers in a full gown of shades that ranged from rose to pale, cotton pink, flashed before his eyes.

A single tear slid down his cheek.

He blinked, his hand leaving Diva's hair to touch it.

Strange…

Though the image brought this crushing pain to his chest, it also brought a smile to his face.

But this wasn't the first time that night that he'd cried.

Earlier, when he and Diva were in the middle of the… ah, consummation of their relationship, he'd suddenly begun to cry –just as he entered his lover. At first, he hadn't even been aware of it but in mere seconds of the first tear falling onto Diva's cheek alerting her, a gripping pain in his chest had made him notice. He felt as if he were betraying someone… Someone important… And suddenly, his manhood went completely limp within his already panicking Queen. His heart twisted in his chest as images flashed before his eyes much too quickly for him to recognize any of him; to actually process what he was seeing. His stomach heaved with nausea and he suddenly he felt so… dirty, tainted… As if he was stained without hope for being cleansed…

But soon, with some determined but clueless and nevertheless worried comforts, Diva had managed to calm him down and assure him of her love. As if he needed to be re-assured of that! He knew all too well how much Diva loved him. As to the question of whether or not he deserved it… Well, then when he tried to remove his limp manhood from within her and leave; abandon the attempt altogether in favor of avoiding sullying her, she began probing and finally got his doubts of his worthiness handed to her by the man himself. Immediately, she tried to assure him of his magnificence with words but it was as if he had a comeback for all her points. So, she showed it him with her body. And for those few, beautiful moments when Hagi saw stars and whole new heights of pleasure, he believed her completely.

Now, he wasn't so sure.

The whole thing was rather bittersweet…

And now, these… feelings, they seemed, ah, they seemed to be the same as then. Familiar somehow…

And that girl… the girl in that picture seemed immensely familiar…

Her face was very much like Diva's, what with her round cheeks, wide eyes, pert, little nose and pouty, pink lips. But the girl's eyes were of molten cocoa with flecks of scarlet, bright with life and had an undiscovered kindness to their depths, Diva's were icy in color, appropriately cold, seemed dead most of times, and often portrayed very little. Her emotional spectrum was either ranging from irritate to annoyed to angry to livid to lustful and back, or zilch, and the girl from the image looked as if she was the polar opposite. While the girl seemed relatively light-hearted and carefree, childish and wicked; if not slightly snobbish, and her aura seemed to hum with youthful naivety, Diva's aura trembled with a heavy-hearted age (much like a bitter old woman), power and vengeance. The young lady's cheeks were rosy as if she'd just been laughing; face lit with joy and mischief. Diva's… Diva's face was usually like marble or ivory. Beautiful, but cold to the touch… The girl seemed as if she was just that, an innocent if not naïve young girl with concentrated joys and fleeting sorrows whose depth was not as deep as the length of her nose. Diva seemed hardened by life –her happiness stolen by fate.

For some reason he seemed to be able to empathize with her; share her pain.

Fate was indeed cruel.

When he woke up a few months ago, he remembered three things; somewhere out there was the girl he adored more than anything and would give up anything for, she was his queen and mistress –even though he hadn't understood that he meant in terms of chiropterans- and finally, that he had to return to her.

He supposed it wasn't strange that of all the three things his conscious had decided to hold onto, it all had to do with his beloved queen.

And luckily for him, he didn't have to go searching the entire earth looking for her. She was right there… She was always there. As the only constant in his life, she was the focal point of his world. So it was understandable that he felt like crying with joy when he realized that she would always be there, and that that was so because she loved him.

Sometimes he could close his eyes and if he calmed down completely and let his mind let go of all its reservations, he could see her; or at least flashes of her, shadows if you will.

Yes, shadows without a face, shadows that wore full, pink gowns that swished as they walked briskly through polished halls, and flowed as they ran in lush gardens. Shadows that called to him in a voice sweeter than honey, and held him in arms softer than egyptian cotton and warmer than a summer's day…

He had tried many times to imagine Diva's face atop these phantom images. It had worked, but it had always seemed off for some reason.

Maybe, because it was never really Diva at all…!

He sat up suddenly; abruptly displacing and therefore awakening Diva who groggily blinked up at him and softly called his name in askance.

But then…

Red eyes…

Short-cropped black hair…

A battle cry that shook the foundations of what he thought was true… Had to be true…

Saya…

The supposed 'evil twin'…

The one person that had Diva's face, but was her exact polar opposite.

"Hagi…? What's wrong?" Inquired Diva. Her beloved was behaving suspiciously.

The man ignored her; mind processing as he came to a stunning realization.

It wasn't true…

But it had to be!

Diva would never lie to him! She loved him, and respected him and-

But what if it wasn't…?

What if it wasn't true at all?

Hagi glanced at Diva as his heart started to beat as swiftly as race horses and hammer against his ribcage, causing him to become breathless as his eyes widened in disbelief.

Diva had lied to him…?

No! Impossible!

Right?

"Hagi!"

He could hear the shadow of a sweet voice echoing and bouncing off the walls of his skull.

It wasn't Diva's.

So what if it wasn't hers?

What did that mean?

He sat there, blankly staring ahead of him; not even hearing Diva anymore as the answer came to him in the form of a series of pictures.

In the first, the girl, Saya, was dipping her fingers into some dark-colored goop.

Black current jam…

Next, he was scolding her as he pealed an apple.

"That's no reason for bad manners…"

She was complaining soon after.

"You're behaving more like Joel every day, Hagi!"

Then, he was looking at her asking about-

"What have you gotten Joel for his birthday?"

She was leading him to a cliff.

"That's why I brought you here!"

She was climbing off.

"What are you doing?"

He was stopping her.

"Joel loves tiger lilies, but lilies that red only grow in places like this. "

"It's too dangerous…"

"But if I don't get one, I'll have nothing to present to him tonight at his birthday party!"

Then he was thinking –just for but a brief moment- and climbing down himself as she went back up to safety.

"No, not those! That one over there!"

He was reaching for it. Just a little more…

He rock beneath his fingers broke.

He slipped.

He was falling…

…And hit the earth so hard that his body was jostled and rebounded a little from the sheer force.

He remembered that the pain was so intense for just a single, but extremely long moment, before the pressure at the back of his head peaked and then was gone in the next instance. But then again, so was he…

But before he could slip all the way away though, in that last moment there was a cry of his name, but it was faint and seemed distant.

A pressure on his lips…

The metallic tang…

Then the pain was back…with a vengeance.

He was convulsing, the liquid fire coursing; burning through his veins- scorching his entire body.

He cried out.

Make it stop!

His back arching of the ground as it became more agonizing than he could take.

Please make it stop!

His vision had gone completely white, his ears began to ring, he couldn't breathe and his throat could only portray his torment.

It rose; like a tidal wave- tsunami, monsoon, a trembling crescendo that shook him to the core of his very being…

Then as quickly as it had started, it was gone!

At that point it all made sense, and all the bites and pieces started fitting into place…

Diva was not his queen.

She had lied to him.

She had tricked him into his false happiness; this twisted version of his life thus far.

The witch had conned him into handing himself over on a silver platter. And as he thought back he felt sick, his stomach turning at the thought of what he just did. What a nightmare these past few weeks had been! It was all very traumatizing to him as he recalled the past few months.

And then it hit him…

But what happened to Marcus?

What did James do to the boy?

Or rather, what had he been ordered to do to him…?

And even more importantly, how did he, himself, end up in Diva's arms?

How did he end up as her puppet?

Had he been captured?

He couldn't remember.

Surely Saya was looking for him. Right?

Yes, absolutely. That's exactly why he'd spent months in this witch's clutches deluded into thinking she was his queen.

But, she had to!

The last thing he could recall, they were heading back from slaughtering a herd of chiropterans and going to re-group with Joel's nephew, Joel II and Red Shield.

It had been mid-winter and now they were in spring. Added to the fact he spent last winter curled next to this fiend, he had to wonder how long he'd been away from Saya.

Could it have really have been a year?

But Saya had been close to her sleep!

He thought hard, trying to force his mind to bring to mind something else; evoke some sort of memory that would give him answers. But nothing happened…

What was left of him now?

… Nothing…

Who did he have left?

…No-one…

What was he to do now?

…Escape…

How?

…He knew not…

Then what?

…Nothing…

And as desperation set in, Diva's hands reached up and pull him down for a kiss.

He hardly noticed.

But a single thought entered his head after she pulled away, as his eyes met the familiar ones of Nathan Mahler. It was like a supple, breathless whisper that caressed his senses and made him forget that Nathan wasn't supposed to be there; that Nathan seemed to have appeared out of thin air, that it was strange that the other had just cupped his face with the gentle sweetness of a lover and peered deep in his eyes and that now he seemed entranced by the other's swirling red orbs…

"Forget…" It echoed in persuasion. "You are happy now…"

'But, what about-'

"She's abandoned you…"

'No! Saya wouldn't do that!'

"Wouldn't she…?"

'No! She wouldn't…'

"Remember Vietnam?"

'What are you-'

Suddenly images too gruesome for words filled Hagi's mind. And the sight of Saya, beautiful and invincible and unforgiving, at the root of the carnage…

He remembered it all now… and the knowledge of his entire life; from the Zoo to the here and now, it shattered him into billions of grains of sand that were swept away by those eyes that seemed to know and understand it all…

"She hurt you…"

'Yes…' He admitted as a single tear slid down his cheek and he observed the way the swirl of crimson darkened into magenta in those eyes with rapt fascination.

"She killed humans…"

'Yes…'

"Slaughtered them all like a monster…"

'Yes…'

Mind swirling because of the intensity of those deep, scarlet eyes and a faint swell of emotion that seemed to drain out of him more and more with each passing moment and leave a deep exhaustion in its wake; all he could do was agree listlessly.

It no longer mattered anymore than he no longer understood what was being said, or who or what the conversation was about.

"Then, after all was said and done, she forgot all about you…"

Shamelessly, Nathan manipulated all of the other's insecurities; knowing oh-so-well from experiences that he never wanted to remember, what exactly hurt the most.

'Yes…'

"So let it all go…"

'Yes…'

"Release all the pain…"

'Yes…'

"All the bad…"

'Yes…'

"Welcome the shadow of forgetfulness…"

'Yes…'

"And forget…"

At that moment, twin rubies flashed and Hagi knew no more.

-o-o-o-

Hagi's brow creased as a soft, breathless mutter escaped his abused lips.

He shuddered heavily, and then a keeling whine and anguish and ecstasy echoed through the vastness of his& Diva's bedroom harsh panting filled the sir as he writhed on the sheets, the phantom touches on callously forgotten memories. Ghoulish tendrils of pleasure assaulted him as his body rocked to echoed mementos of terror left behind- or at least wishing to be forgotten.

But not even amnesia can override pure, unadulterated fear.

And as whimper, after whimper, after disgusting whimper sound as a perfect harmony to the melody of the bed squeaking perversely; moved by the thrashing entity on the mattress. Eyes flew pen- clouded with both the unconscious fog of sleep and unimaginable agony and fright; rendering the usually sharp brandeis a filmy, ashen gray. At the same moment he arched off the bed and cried out, the tears that were steadily building in his eyes finally gliding down porcelain cheeks and glittering as some of them were momentarily displaced to console the air near his widened orbs. He blinked, mind blank and trying to process the stunning absence of his torturer as the immense, absolutely processing feeling of vulnerability, ceased hold of his heart. Slowly, he sat up. The hollow invented throb of his lower body faded away with eerie totality as he took in reality.

It was a confusing, bittersweet relief.

Sweet; because he was not being either sodomized or accosted. But inevitably bitter, because though things made sense in reality (once he ignored the nagging, incessant ache of his dreams of late that prodded at him from the back of his mind), the armada of questions he is left with and the thoughts that a part of his life was being kept from him and his subsequent curiosities concerning that what else Diva- who as it turned out was not his Queen- had lied to him about. What more was she keeping from him? Plus, he found it strangely suspicious that he wouldn't even know of such an important fact of his life if he hadn't over-heard Nathan mention distractedly to Diva two days ago that he, Hagi, was 'of her other half.' His brothers all froze while Diva glared at Nathan and promptly smacked him upside the head. And as a blinking Hagi pensively thought over the other's comment and questioned about it, they all tried to play it cool and claim it was nothing.

Later, it hit him. And like a snowflake in the desert, all his dreams of the future melted.

Ever since he realized that he was related by blood to the love of his life or his precious brothers, he began to doubt everything from his right to love Diva, to his place at her side beside her brothers. It was as if there was suddenly a… gap, yes a gap- as deep as it was wide and wide enough to tear his heart in two. Why was it that it had formed now of all times, just mere days after he offered up himself to his Queen; right after the consummation of their love? He did not know. But one thing was certain. It would not change his life; his love. His feelings were the same as before. Diva and his brothers- from the effeminate Nathan (his older sister), to the emotionally unstable Karl (his kid brother) - they were his family. Even the (seemingly) indifferent James and the (nearly) in sufferable playboy, Solomon, were precious to him. But he couldn't help but wonder as he wrapped the blankets tighter around himself, how long this self-assurance would last…

-o-o-o-

As his heavy footfalls on the wooden stairs echoed throughout the duplex apartment, Riku blinked as a shrill cry came from the living room.

At chevalier speeds, he was in the doorway in seconds.

Cocking his head cutely to the side, he wandered in cautiously and took up the bare seat between a fuming Saya and a worried Kai. The little boy took in the pensive look on David's face as well as the shocked look on Lewis'.

He followed their gazes and turned to the television…

And promptly, his eyes bugged out of his head.

Hagi was on screen, kissing Diva….