Disclaimer: I don't own APH.

Wish…

As precious, white flakes fall from the starlit winter skies, Ludwig sits on his balcony, staring up at the cloud-shrouded moonlight. It was a beautiful evening in West Berlin, one fit perfectly for this night; Christmas Eve.

Holiday spirit filled the air as citizens danced in the blanketed streets, they sang Christmas carols in groups, he smiled nostalgically at the sight. How he wished to be one of those happy citizens, how he wished not to have this hole in his heart.

But, his wish was never granted. It had been ignored for too many years to count, too many Christmases gone by; one would believe that he would have adjusted to the forlornness, the quiet despair.

But he had not.

In his trembling hand lay an iron cross, the cross Ludwig kept with him at all times, the cross that was a constant reminder of what was missing. Its cold metal would lay against his chest, his hollow heart, nearly bringing him joyful memories of his past, but instead granting him remembrance of the day he and his brother parted.

The day Ivan Braginski took Gilbert away. The moment where the Russian dragged his broken, beaten brother away from him. One of the only times over the passing years when he let tears freely fall.

The one other moment was after Roderich spitefully informed him that Gilbert allowed himself to be taken to protect him. To keep Ludwig from being under the psychotic Russian's control. Indirectly, whatever happened to his brother would be his fault.

Carefully, he replaced the iron cross on its silver chain. Once more it would lie against his heart, its frigid metal causing him to shiver involuntarily. Sighing dejectedly, he stared up towards the sky. Why did being alone have to be so…

…Lonely?

The hollow echo of the midnight bell awoke the German from his thoughts; soft Christmas music began to flow throughout the moonlit city. The remaining Berliners on the streets laughed happily, sang along. It was Christmas. And he was alone.

Abruptly he stood, turned on his heel, and walked inside. He had wished being outside when this started would make him happier. That hope had come crashing to the ground. This pain would never end.

The Christmas tree inside mocked him. What was the point of having a tree when you have no one to spend Christmas with? Gilbert had told him to keep on living, that he would return eventually. And he had. For years upon years he had continued on, pretending to live normally.

Twenty years had gone by. No communication whatsoever. The country that was his brother's namesake didn't even exist anymore. People were forgetting it ever did.

Was his brother even alive?

Ludwig cringed; the question wasn't one he preferred to ponder on. The answer could be avoided for the time being. Thinking in general should be avoided for the time being.

A nice, cold beer, on the other hand, was a good idea. Retrieving a Heineken from his fridge, Ludwig nearly sat down, but was interrupted by a faint knock on his door.

Who would be knocking on his door at twelve a.m. Christmas morning?

Santa Claus?

A heavy sigh escaped his lips as out down his beer and went to answer. It was probably Feliciano, who had decided his request to spend Christmas alone was one to be ignored. As he opened the door he started saying, "Feli, I specifi—" but way nearly knocked over in a hug instead.

"West, West, oh god, West. I'm home. I'm back..."

"East…?" Ludwig nearly choked on his words, "Mein gott, brüder… You're alive." Returning the hug, the brothers sat like that as minutes went by, neither wanting to let go for the fear that once they did the other would disappear.

The elder brother was the first to pull away, Gilbert was smiling through his tears, "Of course I'm alive, West, I'm too awesome to die."

Ludwig laughed; it felt so strange to truly laugh the way the immature stupidity of his brother made him. It was a welcome feeling, how long had it been since he had last laughed?

His smile faded ever so slightly, though, when he looked closely at his brother. Battered, bloodied, and broken, Gilbert looked wrecked beyond repair. Black, red, and blue littered his nearly porcelain skin, his crimson eyes lined with dark circles, his trademark smiled weary.

But he was alive. Gilbert was alive, and he was home.

Gilbert's smile, too, faded slowly, and quickly turned into a frown, "It's…well, let's pretend that it's better than it looks. Or we can get drunk, and we'll be too wasted to tell what I look like anymore."

"East… What did he do to you?"

Sighing sadly, the albino looked away. "Dammit, West… I don't want to talk about it, okay? Don't worry, it isn't always like this. I just… Well… This isn't the first time I've ran away. He just usually catches me…"

He was lying through his teeth, and Ludwig knew it. Whatever Ivan did to him was more than a punishment. That man was a monster. And it was his fault Gilbert was stuck with him…

"It's not your fault. Stop thinking that it is, okay? You didn't do anything to cause this."

"I started goddamn world war!"

"And who do you think told you to keep fighting, to keep letting our soldiers, our people die, even after we figured out what that filthy dreckskerl was doing to the Jewish people. It was me! I let those innocent people be murdered, I deserve everything I get, I deserve to have to go back to that monster, to get beaten for escaping!"

Gasping quietly, Ludwig's eyes shot open, "You aren't going back, brüder…I'm not going to let him take you away again," he whispered, his body starting to tremble. There was no way he was letting Gilbert go back. There had to be some way to stop him.

"There's nothing you can do. I'll have to go back eventually. I'm under USSR control, remember? I nearly died getting here. Of course I was able to, because I'm that awesome, but I nearly got shot four times."

Ludwig was silent. How was he supposed to respond to that? His voice cracked as he started to mutter, "East…"

Before finishing he was tackled with another hug, "It's Christmas, c'mon, let's enjoy it. Let's go out, get some beer, and enjoy it for old time's sake. Please, West, please?"

"…Alright…"

Despite his voice tone, Ludwig was smiling. Really smiling. Maybe he would be okay. He knew his brother was alive now right. And Alfred was doing everything short of war against Ivan. It would be over soon, right?

Gilbert smiled too, "I'm so the most awesome Christmas present, aren't I?"

"Something like that."

Awesome didn't even begin to describe it. It was almost a miracle.

Just for tonight, Ludwig would believe that it was.

Merry Christmas.