a/n:: This is a very long, slow oneshot. This is probably why it's so unusual for me to write oneshots. I have to drag everything out. WARNING: I'm not like all those faggots that make Cartman lose weight. Not that I don't fap to their shit anyways.

Also, I don't know how well I portrayed any of the characters. This is my first SP fanfic... It ended up being more romantic oriented than I originally planned. Oh well. Enjoy!

--

How had they ended up here?

Eric Cartman was squishing him to death, absolutely pressing all of the breath out of his tiny body. Well, it'd be a lie if that's all that had left him breathless, but he really wasn't opposed to lying concerning this. It was a miserable thing, being under his worst enemy, the boy who had tormented him since they had met. However, the worst part was the conflicting emotions that went along with it. It wasn't that he liked Cartman per say, that'd be doing the fat boy too much justice. It was just that being under another boy whilst in lightly falling snow, the sun behind the other boy's head making some hair shine with a sort of halo. It was the scenario, one in which he would have liked to share with someone else, anyone else. Well, any other male. He'd gladly take Stan, and despite what people would think if he came out, he really wasn't into Stan. Stan was like his brother, not biologically nor adopted like Ike, but his brother all the same.

Cartman wasn't, he was just the enemy.

What was happening right now was beautiful in itself, if only it wasn't the lardass. And, you know, he could even handle it being Cartman if Cartman wasn't the type to ruin it by doing something stupid like talking. "I AM NOT FAT."

Oh, they were fighting. That's right. It's a funny way to try to tell someone you're not fat, by allowing them to weigh you with their body. He opened his mouth to say something but stopped there. Afterall, what was there to say? Wasn't like he had the breath to say anything anyways and lastly there was the sheer fact that even if he said something now, his voice would crack. He was sure of it.

"Stop staring at me like a dead fish. God, Kyle, you're such a fucking faggot." Kyle hated it when Cartman was right. "I SAID STOP IT, KYLE." The fatass sat up then, his knees falling betwee each of Kyle's legs, and pulled Kyle with him by his coat.

Kyle wanted to tell himself he didn't know why he did it, but he did. He was going through puberty, for one, and two it would completely throw Cartman for a loop. And why not? Afterall, no one would think he actually wanted Cartman, same as no one thought that Cartman was really gay after all the weird shit he's done, including giving and recieving handjobs and blowjobs for various stupid reasons. As he was pulled up, he took a large breath, wrapped his arms around Cartman's neck, and forced his lips onto those plump ones attached to the boy's round face.

He had expected the grip on his jacket to get tighter as it did. He also expected to be pulled away and punched in the face. Those last things didn't happen, and if he didn't know better he thought he might have been pulled closer. Kyle had also thought that perhaps after he got this far that he'd for some reason or another be repulsed. But those lips were soft against his, and the fresh air smelled just as good here, if not perhaps better. It'd be no surprise if Cartman had the best of the best products, afterall, since he was a spoiled pissant. Even the fact that he was Cartman wasn't bothersome from here. He wasn't making fun of him or hitting him yet, and him being a bit fat wasn't really something would have cared about in someone else, he was fairly open to different body types, so he couldn't even use that as an excuse.

Cartman let go of his jacket suddenly, and he fell back a bit, not expecting to have to hold his own weight so quickly. The kiss broke and Eric groaned because of what Kyle assumed to be the new pressure on the back of his neck. With quick movements that made Kyle flinch, Eric's arms went around him and brought his lower body off the snow and onto his large lap. Kyle blinked and opened his mouth to ask what exactly this was all about, where the punching and the insults were, but Cartman seemed to take his open mouth as an oppurtunity to immediately initate a french kiss.

Kyle blushed then, immediately aware at the fact that he hadn't blushed on the first kiss. Another thing he wasn't aware of was that he had actually participated in the kiss without hesitation until it was too late, his tongue wrapping gooily around the other boy's. He was happy that Cartman tasted like chocolate and not cheesy poofs, as he would have bet on if he had thought about it any other time. Everything was suddenly very warm to him, despite the freezing temperature of South Park.

They were like that for several moments before they pulled away from one another, panting - especially the fat one. Kyle took a moment before staring at Cartman, remembering his situation. He frowned, he wasn't in control anymore, was he? And as stupid as it sounded coming out, a real rarity for him, he had to blurt it. "What the fuck?"

"Don't 'what the fuck' me, Kyle... You started it, remember?" Eric panted, sounding a bit upset. Not that Kyle cared, of course.

Of course he knew that. "No shit, but I wasn't expecting you to... Well I expected you to hit me. I was fucking with you, you idiot." He didn't like his own choice of words there, especially with Cartman's eyebrow quirking up in a way that actually complimented him somehow. "Don't look at me that way, you know what I mean, fatass." The insult was so half hearted it made him want to scream.

"And I was getting you back by screwing with you, too." Way too many insinuations in this conversation. And why wasn't he softening. In his awareness of his own dick, he became aware of Cartman's as well. Kyle almost commented on the tent the fat boy was pitching, but then decided not to, if Cartman wasn't already aware of the Jewish boy's dick, he didn't want to draw attention to it now. Instead he unwrapped himself from Cartman and fell back into the snow before standing.

"I'm going home Cartman." He spun around, looking at the empty field happily before trailing off towards his own house. He became aware by heavy footfalls that Eric was following him only a couple paces behind. He let this continue until he couldn't stand it anymore. He turned around screaming. "STOP FOLLOWING ME, FATAAAAAAAH!" He was pushed down by the heavy boy. "What the hell, leave me the fuck alone." He said as the other boy towered over him.

"I'm sorry. You scared me by yelling at me." It was a lie, but since when did Cartman not lie? A gloved hand came at him. "C'mon Kyle, let me help you up."

"No."

"Just do it."

"No."

"Goddamn it, Kyle! Why not?"

"This is a trick, obviously."

"And what am I gonna do?"

"Push me again, most likely."

"Then what does it matter, you'll just fall in the soft snow again."

Kyle took the hand hesitantly and the bigger boy helped him up. They didn't let go however. Soon, Kyle was pulled into Cartman's arms and he couldn't help but feel a flutter throughout his bloodstream. In that moment, pictures of Cartman gently kissing him flooded his mind in hopes. Those were crushed when the bigger boy picked him up and threw him over his broad shoulder and started walking. For a moment, stunned by his own imagination, he didn't say anything. He was amazed that Cartman could hold him, too. It wasn't that he wasn't light, even he knew that, but the sheer fact that they were almost the same height would make it difficult to balance. Then he remembered that he wasn't exactly making it difficult. It was then that he started belatedly kicking and yelling and hitting the boy's back.

"Let me down, Cartman!" No answer. "Seriously, fucker, I'll scream!" A chuckle. "Cartman you douche let me the fuck down right this fucking minute or I swear to Judah I will slaughter you."

"Jesus Christ, Kyle, shut the fuck up. Would it make you feel better if I carried you princess style? Because you certainly whine like a girl." Kyle blushed at that imagery and shut up momentarily to realize they were headed to Cartman's house.

"Hey, where are we going?" He didn't have to ask. "I don't want to go to your house, Cartman. Let me go home." Why wasn't he angrier than he should be for being forced to go somewhere? Most likely because Cartman had been forcing him to do shit for forever now. "Seriously, come on, I have better things to do then hang out with you." Or make out with you or... Oh shit. He really started to squirm now, even though he assumed it was something Cartman would have wanted. "Damn it, Cartman, let me down. At least let me walk."

He knew even Cartman was too smart for that, too controlling. So it was with a Jew hung over his shoulder that Cartman walked through his own door. "Mah-om!" The fat boy called. "Me and the kids are playing Cops, Crooks, and Captives." Kyle had to give him kudos for coming up with a good name, even if they would be too old for that stuff. "I'm a crook and Kyle is my captive. Mom, I want you to be my partner, kay? If anyone comes over tell rhem me and Kyle aren't here or else we lose."

Kyle tried then, as Mrs. Cartman came around the corner from the kitchen. "Please, Mrs. Cartman, he's going to beat me up or rape me or something!"

She only smiled. "Kyle is such a good actor! Alright Snook'ums I'll help you." Cartman started to carry Kyle up the stairs to his room, Kyle screaming behind him. "Oh, do you two want some snacks."

"No snacks, Mom. In fact, don't bother us, I have to make secret evil plots."

Kyle gave up. "This is so stupid. You're mom is a moron."

"Shut up, Jew." He dropped Kyle on the ground, big body blocking the door. He smirked as Kyle whined in pain. He took off his gloves slowly then, staring intently at the smaller boy. "What was that about raping you, Kyle? A fantasy of yours?"

"Drop dead, Cartman. You're creepy, and scary sometimes, so it wouldn't beyond you to beat down or rape anyone just to have your stupid ego boosted because you're in such denial about being a fat, ugly, antisocial, horrible person that no one really likes, and in fact many people hate. You're a douche who only thinks about himself. You're a dick. Leave me the fuck alone, Cartman. Let me go home."

"I am not fat!" Kyle sighed; this again? He shrugged. "Take it back."

Kyle eyed him. "No." He watched the large boy puff up angrily. "But seriously why does it even matter? Why do you freak out whenever someone calls you out on being a fatty? It's like if I was to get angry at you for calling me a Jew, which I don't just at you're off the wall stereotypes about Jews. You're fat. Sometimes it works against you, but it's not the reason I hate you." It didn't matter if he was fat, he was still an ass.

He noticed that Cartman balked for a moment before smirking. "If you hate me so much, Kaaahl, why'd you ki-ss me?" He drawled.

"The same reason you kissed a Jew."

Cartman looked like he would have stepped back if he wasn't against the door. "I don't believe you."

"What, you think I somewhere along the way of your constant attacking me I fell in love with you?" A dry laugh as he stood before looking up and noticing Eric looked offended before reaching out and taking him into his arms and roughly kissing him again. It wasn't the same picture as Kyle had imagined when the big guy holding him had taken him in the field, but he couldn't supress an unexpected smile that graced the lips against his enemies. Large hands grabbed him around the waists and he wondered where he should put his hands before remembering he should try to get away. God knows what this boy was planning. He stood frozen as a tongue pressed into his mouth and against his still tongue.

It was now that the morals of all this started to play with his mind. He didn't know what to do. Cartman probably wouldn't care if he responded, but he did. Was Eric actually planning to rape him? In which case it'd be easier to just go along with it, afterall it wasn't like he didn't want it on some level. But he couldn't let Cartman know that. Should he pretend he's being raped but enjoy it? He frowned now into the kiss. This was much more complicated than it should be for his first time.

First time.

No, he did not want to have Cartman be his first time, not under the pretense of rape especially. He wanted this, yes, and perhaps he'd just have to admit to himself that he was just desperate enough to fuck Cartman. He pulled away.

"Cartman."

"What?"

"Are you going to rape me?"

"You can't rape the willing." He laughed.

"If I'm not willing, will you rape me?"

"I don't know what you mean, Kyle. For all I know you might want me to say yes as some sort of fetish or some shit."

"Not a fetish of mine. Now answer goddamn it." Why was he suddenly out of breath. Oh, that's why, he had just noticed that in response to the break of the kiss, Cartman had taken to kissing his neck.

It was silent for a moment. Cartman was really thinking about this as he kissed and lapped at Kyles neck and eventually his ear, earning a soft hitch of the breath followed by a light moan. "No, I don't think I need to rape you to make you scream." An unvoluntary shudder ran through Kyle's body, which he desperately tried to tell himself it was because of fear. The fat boy had started to undo his jacket and he responded by taking off his own gloves before slowly removing Cartman's hat off his brown hair. The jacket was slipped off, and Kyle felt cold against Eric's still-on jacket that had been out in the snow as the rival's lips met his again. He didn't hesitate this time, nervous but resigned that this was happening. His fingers slipped to the bottom of the jacket and worked the buttons off upwards.

When that jacket was off, their body warmth was more accessable. Everything was like fire as Eric touched him again, slipping behind his neck and pulling off his bomber hat. There was no question that, unfortunately, Cartman was in charge as he pushed the boy towards the bed inch by inch until he fell back onto it. They took that break to both kick off their shoes and socks before the one that always tortured him began to lean over him, kissing him again after inspecting him for a moment.

This was so wrong on so many levels. Oh!

Thick fingers snaked their ways up Kyle's teeshirt, tickling him slightly so that his back arched and he smiled into the kiss uncontrollably, until he was sure his tongue graced across Cartman's tonsils until he rethought about it. He couldn't help but think in the back of his head just how much they two had been through together, though to neither one's discretion. This was the opposite. Nails lightly grazed against one of his nipples before pinching it, his shocked groan flowing into the mouth on him and his eyes closing. He had forgot what he was thinking now, instead wondering why exactly everything was a million more times the sensetivity when someone else touched you.

It didn't help that Cartman seemed to know how and where to touch already. His hands were still nervously set on the boy's shoulders, as if any moment he'd decide he didn't want to do this, push Cartman away, and run off. Trying to take a deep breath, despite the boy at his lips, he moved his hands. He tried to think of where he liked to be touched, from the few kissing sessions he'd had curiously before. One hand slowly went through Eric's hair, finding that it was rather soft. His eyes darted then, trying to find out what to do with the other one. Cartman had it easy, he had to prop himself up. Okay, maybe that wasn't easy considering boy's weight.

They broke away to take off Kyle's shirt and when Cartman Kyle finally said something. "You, too." Cartman stared at him for a moment before complying. It only seemed fair, and he hadn't really thought that Cartman could be self-conscious until after it was already taken off. His fingers gently pressed against the fat boy's skin on his stomach, a bit surprised the fat area didn't feel any different than his own. It made sense, he supposed. Now that he looked, yes Cartman was fat, but even less looking without his jacket. He sat up and tentatively kissed the boy above him before kissing at his chin, his neck, and down to his chest where he licked a nipple with an unsure motion.

Eric didn't make a sound, but he did stiffen in more ways than one, so the Jewish boy took the nub in his mouth and sucked lightly. A hand reached to the back of his head, borrwing itself in red curly hair. Emerald eyes looked up momentarily to see that the boy had closed his own eyes. His hands reached around Cartman's sides and held him closer as he nibbled lightly on it. Holding a fat boy was nothing like holding a girl he had a little moment with in trying to tell himself he was straight, only to prove himself overtly wrong, and in fact he kind of preferred it this way. Not the fat, so much, but the solidness of it. Cruelly he stared at the boy as he dug his nails into the skin and scratched down.

"HEEEeeey..." Cartman barked, half way through changing to a bit of a moan, making him smile. He removed his mouth from his nipple and kissed the boy, who looked upset. In response, he pushed the boy down and crawled over him, biting Kyle's lip for a moment and then pulling away, tugging it lightly before letting go. Kyle was starting to get scared, he wasn't really wanting this to turn rough. He looked pleadingly at Cartman, quite on accident. "God you are such a pussy, Kyle. Don't start shit if you can't finish it. I think that's why we're here." Kyle nodded and he bowed his head to the redhead's nipple, gaining a little squeak.

In that moment, he started rubbing his groin against the Jew's, which Kyle immediately clawed at Cartman before remembering that the other boy would retaliate. Instead, he vented by a moan that he blushed because of. He was suddenly aware of why Cartman would do this to him, to see him at his weakest. He sighed and just let it happen, quite sure it was too late now. His hands wandered down to the flies of the pants and began to undo the ones not on his own body. He felt a smile and a soft laugh against his pink nipple before the mouth moved on to the other one. Kyle panted heavily as he tried to get the pants undone, and took a moment to regain composure after they had. Cartman seemed to understand, because he kicked them off at the same time, revealing his boxers. He kissed down the body as he did that, Kyle squealing quite feminely as he was kissed on the navel, and then groaning at a lick on either side of his pelvis. Cartman just undid the belt and pulled off the pants, not bothering with the actual button or zippers.

Kyle blushed. Cartman was mocking him with that smile. Yes, he wore 'tidy whities'. Eventually a hand clasped over his balls and his first reaction was to grab at Eric but since he couldn't reach the ended up over his head, grabbing at the comfoter. The fingers moved up his underwear to grasp around most of his cock and he whimpered, bucking. He was suddenly angry at Cartman, then realized that he was just excited for the things that would come next. That round face hid itself and kissed his upper thigh before going around and licking his pelvis again. Both index fingers made their way under the elastic and pulled down, revealing a short red bush around his desperately throbbing cock, which had a drop of precum waiting at the top.

"Look at the circumsized penis, all excited to see me." The Jew could tell that Cartman almost licked it then, almost. And he cursed that he didn't, instead opting for more kissing in the general area, and finger trailing up and down his ballsack. The boy knew what he was thinking, that was the issue. "Beg." Half of him had expected that, and all of him was wishing it hadn't been demanded. Because there was no competition for what the outcome would be.

He hated it when Cartman was right.

"Please, Cartman?" Icy blue eyes stared at him. "Cartman, please suck my cock." Still nothing. "Uh... Please, please, please suck my cock Car- Eric?" He was rewarded, the last minute switch obviously being what the boy wanted. His head slammed back against the bed as the head of his cock was sucked on and licked by the other boy. "Oh god." He mewled. His fingers found themselves tangled in silky brown hair absently and he was rewarded by Cartman's mouth traveling lower onto his dick. It was actually just a slight movement but it didn't matter. He groaned and felt the tightening in his stomach. There were a few choices to be made here, such as if he wanted to end it this way. "I..." He started, not really sure why.

The large boy got the idea and stopped slowly, leaving with a last kiss on the tip of his dick, precum and saliva sticking to his lips and making a string momentarily as he pulled away. It was beautiful. And then he was scared as Cartman loomed over him, having at some point pulled his boxers off without Kyle noticing. Of course, that wasn't exactly difficult since Kyle hadn't been thinking much while recieving a blowjob.

Kyle knew he should be stretched some, that lube should be involved, but Cartman didn't seem to be thinking about those things. Kyle had seen his dick before, of course, in PE and such, but not hard and even moreso with any aknowledgement that it would be inside him. It seemed much bigger now. He fidgeted in fright a bit as Eric lowered on him, licking behind his ear as the rest of his body seemed focused on finding Kyle's asshole and aligning against it. Kisses followed his jawline and back up to his lips. "Don't worry, Kyle, I won't hurt you much."

"That's reassuring... But I don't believe you. You know, the whole... forever of torturing me."

"Do you want me to stop?"

If Kyle looked shocked, it was because he was. It also relaxed him. If Cartman was willing to stop there, he'd care enough not to hurt him as much as necessary, right? Probably not. Oh well. "No... Go ahead."

"Are you scared?" Kyle just looked away. He knew Cartman was smiling evilly at him. Of course he was scared, this was his first time. Then again, Cartman probably didn't know that, afterall it didn't seem to be his first time. Certainly came a long way from 'stick it in her and pee'. Cartman rubbed against his entrance then. It was a good feeling in itself and he felt himself enjoy it as the head moved back and forth against his entrance, seeming to press a little bit each time it passed, before Eric pushed lightly into him.

Into was more of a slight push accompanied with some leeway. Not even his head went in and it began to hurt. Kyle whined, fidgeting, while Cartman groaned but didn't move any further until Kyle stopped moving and tensing up. Then he pushed until the rest of his head was in. Kyle made no noise but stiffened up, his eyes closing and biting his lip. Cartman nibbled on his neck then, before sucking on it lightly. When the ginger stopped stressing out and seemed to relax some more, he pressed again.

"God, Kyle, you're so tight. How long has it been since you were last fucked?" Silence. Cartman raised himself to see Kyle's face and found the boy glaring at him. "What?" More silence, the glare seemed to get darker. It didn't seem he even dared thrust his hips even slightly more, Kyle knew he had never glared at the boy quite like this before.

"Never, dumbass."

"You've never been fucked before?" He said.

"No..."

"So... You usually top?"

"No."

"First time with a dude?"

"You're a fucking douchebag."

"Wait..." Cartman's eyes went slightly wide. "So I... I am your first..." More glaring. "Wow."

"Don't wow at me." Somehow the sex had been abandoned.

"It's just... You hate me." Why was that asked so softly?

"That didn't stop you."

Fat eyebrows knitted together. "You're not my first time."

He rolled his eyes. "I guessed. Does wonders for my ego."

"I thought you and Stan... you know."

"No. So are you going to move? Or do you usually stop and have conversations?"

"Sorry." He said, pushing slightly more, catching Kyle offgaurd both with the apology and the amount more he pressed in. It was good until he hit a certain depth, then he shrieked. "Sorry." He whined again.

"God damn it! Since when do you apologize?"

"Since I fucked a virgin guy in the ass without lube or anything first, Jew." That still didn't seem right. Kyle still wouldn't expect Cartman to say sorry to him, no matter what. He certainly didn't for the other shit he'd done, such as giving him AIDS. Cartman in that moment did yet another unexpected thing, he pulled back slightly and fucked him lightly in the spot that was alright, only lightly pressing against that muscle that didn't want to give in so that it didn't hurt so much to get through. Meanwhile, the boy grabbed Kyle's dick and pumped it with the same pace.

Kyle gave a slight "Umph!"with each stroke for awhile but soon was gasping every time Cartman would press against the muscle, until he made it through it, in which he grabbed at Cartman and pulled them together, moaning. A few more inches and Cartman was in him entirely, slowly going back and forth, stroking him and sucking on his earlobe. Kyle moaned and gasped as Cartman pushed into him and for the longest time tried to avoid thoughts of how unexpectantly gentle a lover Cartman is, or how this was much better than he had expected to have with anyone. Especially the butterflies that attacked his stomach when Cartman kissed him full on the lips again. Even when the boy started thrusting into him harder, with more need, his hand in his red hair.

Then Kyle made the mistake of actually looking at the boy who had tormented him full on, with both of their eyes open and staring at one another. He came in that moment, a palm rubbing him off, the dick inside him clapping it's balls onto his cheeks. He came, and he didn't scream, but he did gasp the name "Eric" in his orgasm, which found its way between them and on both of them. He could feel Eric stiffen and cum into him, unable to feel the cum itself but the twitch in the cock. It was just as well, because as he came down from his orgasm, his ass started to hurt. Cartman pulled out of him, half hard still but deflating. He fell to Kyle's side on the bed and Kyle was thankful it was queen sized.

"Why me, Kyle?" He didn't know the answer, so he didn't respond. "Other than I'm sexy, and charming, and altogether awesome." Eric blabbered on and Kyle just laid there, staring at the ceiling and contemplating the ever present 'what now'. He ignored the man until he felt him staring at the redhead and then he turned and looked away immediately, he didn't know how to react to that face anymore. "You regret it, Kyle, don't you."

Interesting question. "No, not yet. Of course, you're not trust worthy and will probably go blab to someone or try to blackmail me. But what happened itself was..." Worth it? Good? Great? Wonderful? Fantastic? "Better than I expected from you." Clever. "Listen, I have to go. You know my mom." He got up and put on his underwear and pants and Cartman did the same. The bigger boy also put on his shirt but made no indication of anything else. Kyle wished he would, wouldn't a walk home be nice? He shook his head, you just simply couldn't get sentimental about Cartman. So he got ready and just as he put his hat on, he turned around. "I'll see you-" He was pinned against a wall, which made him jump out of his skin a bit, but then warm lips met his. He was frozen, unsure all over again, this was just so unexpected. What did Cartman want now? He already fucked the Jew and saw all his weak points.

He was about to respond to the kiss when Eric pulled away, frowning a bit and shrugging. "Alright you can go now."

Kyle was confused but nodded and left without another word, even to Mrs. Cartman who he passed in the Hallway.

He went home and slept, without any dinner. He also woke up in the middle of the night, jacked off, fell back asleep and dreamed of Cartman.

+++

The next day was Saturday and late that afternoon, Stan came over and barged into his room. "Dude, what the fuck?" Kyle jumped, thinking Stan already knew what happened yesterday. "Why did you tell Cartman me and you aren't together?"

What?

"Uh, because we aren't, man." He said hesitantly, slightly wondering who was insane, him or Stan.

His black haired friend rolled his eyes. "Of course not, but under what circumstance did Cartman have to know that? I had told him we were together."

Avoiding the circumstance question, he asked a question instead. "And why would you tell fatass that we're gay?" Which, even in one another's eyes, was never clarified. Afterall, Stan was with Wendy again.

"So he'd leave you alone."

A raised red eyebrow. "Since when does Cartman leave me alone?"

Stan jumped on the bed. "You really haven't noticed?"

"Noticed what?"

"Dude, he's only been flirting with you for how long?"

Green eyes stared at Stan as if he was crazy, in which Kyle was starting to believe. "Stan, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"Kyle, listen to me, you know elementary school where when you pull on a girl's hair it really means you like her, but you're too nervous to show it, and in effort to act 'normal' you really act like a douche?" Kyle didn't know personally, he'd never had a specific crush, but he had seen it enough times to know what he was talking about. "Alright, now who else does Cartman act like... he does to you?"

His initial reaction was 'ew', because it's what he would have said every day of his life before yesterday night. Then his second reaction was a smile which he had to supress because of Stan. So instead he just stood there without saying or doing anything and managed to look like he didn't believe it, which though the evidence pointed to it, he wasn't sure he was. "Did he ever really say he liked me?" Stay. Blank.

"Well, yeah, one time he let it slip that he didn't actually hate you and I pushed it until he blackmailed me not to tell you, and I said I wouldn't because you were mine and I didn't want any competition."

"So you spoke to him in his own language then." He smiled.

"Yep."

This weird fluttering in his stomach, was it because someone liked him or because Cartman liked him? Did it mean he liked Cartman back? Does this mean he should stop calling him Cartman? He imagined the faces of everyone he knew if they knew that him and Eric had fucked, or if they had started going out.

Yeah, he was definately getting ahead of himself.

"Kyle! Hey! You're daydreaming. Or did hearing that Cartman wants to fuck you make you go insane?"

"Yeah, Cartman's definately fucking with me." Double meanings, have to love them.

But Stan was too smart, knew him too well. "YOU DIDN'T!"

What do you say in this situation? "It only happened once. It was a spur of the moment thing. Probably never happen again."

Stan looked relieved for a moment. "Well if it's only happened once. When? I haven't seen a change in how you two interact with one another. Usually that happens if, you know, enemies fuck."

"You haven't seen us together since it happened. In fact I haven't seen him since it happened."

"But all three of us were at school yesterday and... Oh. Shit man."

It was then that Eric walked in unannounced. "Hey guys." He said in his usual tone.

"I told you not to fuck him." Stan growled.

Cartman stared at Kyle. "And you said how I coudln't be trusted, that I'd be the one to blab. Couldn't you use some of your Jew powers to fool him?"

"What?" Kyle said, why was Eric always spouting nonsense.

"I told him how much you love him."

"Love?" That was new to Kyle.

"Okay, maybe I didn't tell him how much. Now he knows."

Kyle blinked. "What?" This conversation was crazy. Eric was a strange shade of white, Stan looked upset, and he most likely looked confused as hell, because he was.

"Fucker." Cartman said with a crack. "I'll tell Wendy you cheated on her with Kenny."

"WHAT!?"

"Go ahead, she dumped me last night anyways."

Kyle flopped onto his bed. He tried to zone out from what they were saying, having quite enough of this kind of news but couldn't help hearing them bicker, so instead he considered his situation. Either Stan was lying, which was unlikely, or Cartman liked him or loved him, just as unlikely. If Cartman wanted him again, should he do that? Perhaps he'd start treating him at least the same as everyone else, which still wasn't very good, but it was a hell of a step from where he stood now, well, yesterday. He wasn't sure how he stood now. The sex was good, and it wasn't like he had any other hot bites. And he did like Cartman, at least a bit, now that he gave it some thought. The whole weight thing wasn't a big deal, and if he was at least less of a jerk that made him a lot better of a canidate. But if he ever cut it off, there'd be hell to pay.

Things were so complicated, yet promising enough to make them worthwhile.

"KYLE! I said 'You don't like Cartman, right? He has a snowball's chance in Hell.' You don't have to be afraid of him, I'll kick his fat ass if he has a problem with an answer." Kyle looked up, Stan and Eric staring at him, both anxious looking.

"I dunno, I guess I might a little bit. I'm not in love with him or anything... But... You know. Yeah." How eloquent.

Cartman sat by him then and Kyle just stared at him for invading his personal bubble. Glaring didn't stop Cartman from kissing him. He blushed, perfectly aware of Stan's grimace at the whole scene, but he didn't stop him. He kissed back lightly, glad that this wasn't an open mouthed kiss at least.

"I think I'm gonna be sick."

Cartman's face span away from Kyle. "You're just jealous."

"And if I am?"

"You want Cartman?" He asked whole heartedly, shocked but perfectly willing to give up Eric if it meant a fued between the two of them for the jerk. Instead, he was just stared at by the two of them. They both sighed. Kyle was smart at everything else it seemed, and moralistic to boot, but perhaps he was just oblivious on some things.

"What?"

Stan got up to leave. "Whatever, you kids have fun. I'll be at Kenny's. No hard feelings between any of us, and just... don't make out in front of me or anything. I'm not worried about you, Kyle, you'd be discreet, but someone here likes to make a spectacle of himself here. And he weighs more than me and you put together."

Kyle smiled, Cartman seemed to scoff, and Stan waved deftly and left.

"So where were we, Jewboy?"

"You were going to tell me just how much you supposedly love me, fatass."

"I AM NOT FAT."

"Yeah, and I'm Buddhist."

They started making out then without another word, rolling together on Kyle's bed.

Perhaps it wouldn't work out in the long run or maybe they were just opposite enough to keep it interesting, it didn't really matter. What mattered was now, the heat between them, and the butterflies that took up war in their stomachs. Obviously Cartman would do something for himself out of this, other than just getting off, eventually. And it was also quite plain that Kyle would disrespect almost anything that Cartman would do. But they'd live with each other this long, maybe sex would make things civil between them and blow off the stress that they caused one another.