A/N: Hello everyone =) sorry for the long wait between chapters. Life happens. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: As always S.O.A. and all affiliated characters and locations are the products of Mr. Sutter. I own nothing I profit from nothing.

Chapter 16

After fishing the backup battery out of the night stand and snapping it into place I resume my search for Max. I spent about two minutes plotting my revenge on Happy for taking the battery to my computer before I thought better of it. No point making a bad situation worse.

I couldn't hear him moving around out there now that he'd turned on the TV, and I hoped that he was sitting on the couch and not prowling around my bedroom door. Sleep would not be coming to me until I knew the score on any deal Max and Jubi had worked out. The fact that I was stuck on the other side of the country, and was there for useless in the search effort, was going to make me crazy.

If I could find a way to get to New York, I could slip into the city, hit up my old haunts. I knew people who were loyal enough to keep their mouths shut about me being in town. I knew how to get arms, ammo, blades. A week tops and Max wouldn't be an issue anymore.

With Mr. Sunshine sleeping on my couch it would now be impossible to just sneak away, and there was no way the local Sons were going to let me just up and run home.

Hell it was a bad idea anyway. If push came to shove I wasn't sure I would be able to pull the trigger if need be. I had loved the man once. The soft spot I had for him was definitely not healed over enough to end him. He would know that and would exploit any advantage he had.

Not to mention I'd be walking into a trap for sure. It was stupid. Better to let grandpa and the boys take care of it. If anything even happened; which was doubtful.

At some point in my mental triad I started passing. My circuit had brought me back to the bureau where my cigarettes and lighter lay. Taking one out and lighting it I cross the room and sit in the overstuffed chair in the corner. It's sky blue and cream paisley with clawed feet and wingback. Pulling the blanket my grandmother knitted over me I continue to smoke my cigarette, flicking my ashes into the ashtray on the night stand occasionally.

The whole thing was making me twitchy. Stubbing the cigarette out, I snuggle back into the chair and pull the blanket up to my chin. And that's where I wake up four hours later to the knock at my bedroom door.

Sitting bolt upright the blanket slips to the floor, pooling around my feet.

"Just a min..." I say before falling flat on my face when I try to move to the door.

"You ok?" Comes a gravelly voice through the door.

"Peachy," I mumble into the grey carpet, before pushing myself up and kicking the blanket off my feet. "What's up?" I ask opening the door.

"Koz is coming over, thought I'd warn you," He says, giving me a cool once over.

"Why is Kozik coming over?" I ask, combing my hair out of my face with my fingers, and straightening my sweat shirt.

"Cause he wants too," Hap shrugs and heads back down the hall.

'Ugh just what I fucking need,' I think, as the doorbell rings.

"Hey," I yell to Happy. "Give me my battery back,"

"Later," He says as he reaches for the lock on the door.

"No, I need it, I was in the middle something when you took it," I say leaning against the counter.

"After Koz leaves," He says.

"It's my battery and I want it back now," I repeat as calmly as I can.

"Sounds like my kind of party. Give her the battery back and let's get down to business," Koz grins over the two cases of Sam Adams.

"I'm talking about the battery for my lap top," I say to Koz. He crosses the threshold and sets the cases on the counter next to me.

"Bummer," he says, grinning slyly at me.

I tsk and roll my eyes at him, my scowl landing on the statue that is Happy. Realizing it's futile to argue with him, I sigh and slump my shoulders.

"Alright fine," I grumble, remembering the cell in the pocket of my jeans. If anyone found anything they'd call. "Want a beer?" I ask Koz, turning towards him with a sweet smile. "I have cold,"

"Sure doll," He smirks, leaning on his elbows, back pressed into the edge of the counter.

"Hap?" I ask, raising a brow as I pull the fridge open. I pop three tops off the Sam Adams, at his nod, and pass them around. "Salute,"

We clink long necks and take a slug.

'Fuck it,' I think 'Nothing I can do for now anyway. Might as well get a little blurry,'

"So," Koz says lighting up a cig. "What's on the agenda tonight kiddies?"

"That depends," I say "I've got jack in the fridge, so we'll have to order food. There's a really good pizza place that delivers in the neighborhood,"

"Works for me," Koz says.

Hap nods, once.

"What do you guys like on your pie?" I ask. We decide on a large pizza with everything except anchovies, two dozen hot wings, and a large order of bread sticks. Happy wouldn't let me open the door when the kid came to drop off the food; he also refused to let me pay him back.

"Well that was great," Koz says, taking a swig off his third beer as he leans back in his chair. "Nice little neighborhood you got here princess,"

"Yeah," I say, "Thanks," Momentarily stunned by the use of Haps moniker for me. "Uh, how about some cards?" I ask "Or a board game of some kind? Don't suppose either of you are any good at Scattagories?"

After receiving blank stares from both men I sigh, "Well what do you want to do then?"

"You that desperate for a distraction girly?" Koz smirks as he leans forward and sets his elbows on the table. He's sitting acrossed from me, while Hap had taken the seat to my left around my little kitchen table.

"I am perfectly capable of entertaining myself, thanks," I reply gaining a full grin from the blonde killer. "Pig," I smirk back at him.

"Sorry babe, you walked into that one on your own," His grin spreads when I flip him off.

"Yeah I totally did," I can feel the smile spread across my face and can't keep the laugh from bubbling out of my belly. "Who wants to smoke while we figure out what we are going to do tonight?"

"We are not going out," Happy says as I get up to grab the smoke box from the living room.

"Understood," I say returning a moment later. "So let's get blitzed and figure out a way to salvage this evening. Please,"

Taking out the pot I break up enough for two fat joints. As the buds crumble between my fingers all I can think about is how I don't want to stare at my computer screen, or wait for my cell to go off any more. The thought of spending the next few days, weeks, hell maybe months waiting for the other shoe to drop was enough to chill me to my bones.

Max was out there, he didn't care about what happened to me anymore. I was no longer useful enough to him to warrant his protecting me. To him I was probably worth more dead than alive. The thought was terrifying. Until we had people in place to keep an eye on his movements I would not sleep easily.

Always being on guard, always being prepared for the worst possible scenario is an exhausting existence. I had run away from that feeling in New York, coming here trying to escape it.

Twisting the first joint closed my mind wanders to what my future was going to hold if I didn't find a way to feel safe.

Eventually the paranoia would set in and I would alienate everyone close to me, out of fear of betrayal. Then the running would start again.

But there was nowhere else to go now. This had been my haven, my chance at peace.

Sprinkling the bud into the second paper I wonder what I would do when the fear dragged me down far enough to make me run. To drive me from my new home.

To leave this time I would need a new identity, which meant killing off my old one.

Could I really do that to my family?

Could I just disappear and start over?

A clean slate.

No past to haunt me.

I could be anyone.

I could be no one.

'Maybe there is something to this,' I think.

"Yo! Murphy," Koz says, startling me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, sorry, zoned for a minute there," I blush as I hand him the finished joint. I take a slug of beer as he lights it.

"Guess so," he says eyeing as he takes a second toke off the joint. I hate the look he is giving me. Like he knows what I've been thinking.

He passes the joint to Happy and the glance they share is nearly imperceptible.

"So a game," Koz says, leaning back in his chair and scratching his chin. "I've never been one for board games. Sorry doll," He smirks at me "How about cards,"

"What game?" I ask taking the joint Happy hands me.

"Poker?" Koz says.

"What kind?" I ask, "And do not even bother saying strip because it is not going to happen,"

His face falls into a pout almost comically. He really is like a big kid sometimes; it's what the ladies love about him. That false innocence.

"Well then I'm out of ideas," He says.

"Drinking game?" I offer. "A little High Low maybe?"

"If I'm not getting laid, I'm at least gonna get wasted," Koz flashes that Cheshire cat grin at me, his hazel eyes twinkling with excitement. It was kind of scary.

"You better hope the game goes easy on you," I say, receiving a quirked eyebrow in response. "You get too wasted and you'll be sharing the couch with Happy," I grin at the glares I receive from both men while grabbing the cards from side board.

Three games later we are all laughing at Koz's story about this women he meet on a run. It was a rare one, there wasn't any sex involved. We had each had about a 6 pack and were on the verge of sparking the second joint.

I had a nice buzz going and had managed to forget all about my problems for the last hour or so as the boys told funny stories about each other and made crude jokes. I was grateful that Koz was such a chatter box, since Happy remained his usual aloof self.

"So babe," Koz says, "Tell me, why is Killer sleeping on your couch? He in the dog house already?"

I stare at him for a second, blanking on a response. "Umm, well,"

"Some asshole has been breaking into houses in this nice little neighborhood the last couple of nights," Happy says, much to my amazement. "Sara wanted me to keep an eye on the place, stay over a couple of nights until the cops do their job,"

"Must be nice bein' the princess," Koz winks at me.

"Yeah, it rules," I dead pan.

"Not everybody gets such an experienced bodyguard just because of a little B. n' E." He says; eyes focused on Happy, trying to read I don't know what in those stone features.

I'm saved from having to formulate a plausible story by my cell phone vibrating in my pocket. The L.E.D. screen telling me it's time to get back to reality. "Sorry guys gotta take this," I say excusing myself. Walking down the hall I step into my bedroom and close the door before flipping the phone open.

"Good news baby, we found him,"

"I love you Jarred," I smile tiredly into the phone. "Now tell me what my ex has been up too,"

"Too early to tell sweetie, but we've got guys on it. Won't be long before we know what his plans are. Max was never subtle,"

"Let's hope he hasn't changed. Always easier to track a creature of habit," I say, sitting in the paisley chair, feeling my shoulders relax. He's in New York, not connected with Jubi. Yet. People I trusted were going to be watching him. I'd know the second the little shit turned on me. I could be prepared for it.

I would be prepared for it.