Title: Standing Climbing Falling

Author: alienangel19852003

Summary: Jackson Stewart will never forgive himself for what happened to Miley, and Miley will never forget it. Nick Lucas won't stop loving Miley, but he knows that she won't ever return his feelings. Robbie Ray knows something is wrong but they won't tell him, he hopes moving his daughter out of the spotlight of her double identity Hannah Montana and letting her be Miley might help. Miley has been hiding so much from everyone and a girl named Lilly Truscott might be the only one who can help heal her.

Rating: M

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and is written for fun I don't own anything nor do I make any money off of this.

A/N: Changes POV a bit between Miley, Lilly, Jackson, and Nick. This will be longwinded and yes, this is a slash story… I wasn't sure about the extent of the slash but now I am. M/M & F/F.

**************************Chapter Three***************************

************************This Kiss************************

Miley ignored her pregnancy fears, and went on with the first week of school. Though she had confirmation that Jake was in Europe filming, the phone calls and the texts that made her tremble but she couldn't ask her father for a new phone number he might get suspicious. Nick and Jackson were wonderful but a bit stifling at times, so Miley spent as much time with Lilly and Oliver as she could.

It was Friday and Lilly was spending the night for the second time. Miley loved the easy rhythm of their friendship, and she could tell that Lilly didn't quite buy her excuse about Jackson hitting her with a baseball giving her the black eye, but Lilly didn't push.

Jackson had to work late, and Nick promised to come over Saturday, he had to put in some quality time with his mom. Lilly and Miley were lying on the couch like two beached whales devouring pizza and watching Will Ferrell movies when Jackson entered the house.

"Don't ever get a job girls, you might be expected to work," Jackson said.

"Was it that bad?" Miley asked.

"I got vomit on my pants," Jackson said, "And it's not mine."

Miley pulled a face.

"Where's Nick?" Jackson asked, "He's been here almost every night this week."

"He had to um… hang out with his mom," Lilly said leaning up and reaching for more pizza never moving her eyes from the TV screen.

"Oh," Jackson headed into the kitchen, Miley got off the couch and followed with a grin on her face.

"Do you miss him?" Miley asked.

"Miss him?" Jackson said opening the fridge and getting a bottle of water, "What are you gettin' at Miley?"

"Jackson," Miley said with an exasperated expression, "Be real with me for five minutes."

"About what?" Jackson said his ears turning red trying not to spill the sweet tea he was pouring into his Styrofoam cup of ice from Rico's.

"You like Nick," Miley said, "And you couldn't be more obvious."

"What?" Jackson sputtered, Miley was thankful that he'd already swallowed.

"You totally want Nick dude," Lilly said from the couch, "You don't know how to deal with it because you want to fit this typical male standard to keep up appearances."

Jackson looked like he might have jumped out the kitchen window at any point.

"Am I that obvious?" Jackson asked with a sigh, "I don't know what to do. I've never felt like this before and definitely not about a guy. He's just different."

"He's a great guy Jackson," Miley said.

"What are you going to do?" Lilly joined them in the kitchen, "Are you going to tell him? You have to tell him."

"I can't tell him," Jackson said, "I don't want to lose his friendship."

"You can't keep swallowing your feelings," Miley said, "He might be more acceptin' than you think."

"Please," Jackson said, "he hasn't even hinted at any interest in guys. Not to mention the fact that he's been in love with you for like five years."

"Nick and I are just friends," Miley maintained.

"But it's clear that he'd give anything to be more," Jackson said.

"I'm just not…I don't like him that way," Miley said, "I wish I did. Because really Jackson he's amazing and totally worth the risk."

"Why don't you like Nick?" Lilly questioned, "From what I read he's pretty much every straight teenage girl's wet dream. All doe eyes, calloused hands, muscled arms, and guitar picks?"

Miley rolled her eyes.

"Don't forget the artfully tousled curls and his lips," Jackson whispered with reverence, "Did I just fangirl?"

"Yep," Lilly said laughing.

"How did you know?" Miley asked.

"Know what?" Jackson asked.

"That you were gay?" Miley asked.

"Well," Jackson said chewing on the end of his straw, "I can't really say I've ever been attracted to any other guys before I just started noticin' little things about Nick. Like that little curl that hangs in his eyes, I just want to push it back so I can see them better. Or I'll find myself starin' at his hands, or lookin' at his lips. Then I started havin' sex dreams about him. I knew I was in over my head then. I tried to deny it for awhile when it first hit me hard I dated all the girls I could. They were all girls that reminded me of him."

"That's sweet," Lilly said, "Aside from the wet dream part."

"What about you how did you know?" Miley asked.

"I've always known," Lilly said blushing a little, "I had this massive crush on Alyssa Milano when I was in fifth grade. I used to tell my mom I was gonna marry her. I used to play house with Oliver and his cousin Tiffany when she visited in the summers growing up. I was always the dad and she was the mom and Oliver was our kid. "

"Wow," Miley said.

"You won't tell dad will you?" Jackson asked.

"It's not my place to tell him," Miley said.

"Thanks," Jackson said, "You won't tell Nick either will you?"

"I can't promise that," Miley said.

"Miley," Jackson growled, "Just leave it be. He's not into guys especially not me, he could do a hell of a lot better."

"I think with a good shower, better conditioner and a shave you'll be quite the catch," Miley said thinking of ways she could get Nick and Jackson together.

"Miley!" Jackson hollered.

"What?" Miley pulled an innocent face.

"I know that look," Jackson said, "Don't even think about it. I shouldn't have even told you."

"Come on Jackson don't be like that," Miley said, "I'm mature enough to leave you to live in lust and despair without meddlin' in your romantic affairs."

"Thanks, that's all I ask," Jackson headed over to Lazy Boy and plopped down with his drink in hand, "What are we watchin'?" he asked.

"Talladega Nights," Miley replied returning to the couch with beverages for herself and Lilly.

Lilly took her seat on the couch next to Miley. They spent the whole night talking about movies and relationships. Miley didn't think

"Miles, who are you into?" Lilly asked two movies later while Jackson was making more popcorn and otherwise on the phone talking quietly to their dad, "Any of the boys at school caught your attention?"

They were sharing a blanket after having made up the pullout couch into a bed, favoring using the big television in the living room rather than going in Miley's bedroom.

Miley felt so comfortable with Lilly but not comfortable enough to tell the truth, that truth being that she was gay and undeniably attracted to the girl to the girl who had voiced the question.

"Um…I don't know, it's only been a week," Miley responded noncommittally.

Lilly gave her a suspicious look, "You can tell me I won't tell anyone. Is it Gabe LaMotte the hottie with the swimmer's body?"

"The blond second time senior who keeps giving me Jasper Cullen faces?" Miley asked.

Lilly laughed and it was beautiful musical, and something Miley couldn't get enough of especially because the sound didn't fit tough girl Lilly, who was wearing black and purple Skelanimals pajamas and black beanie pulled down over her messy blond locks.

"Come on Miley," Lilly said, "Every teenage girl has a crush."

Miley looked down fingering the blue and purple blanket covering them, "Crushes, sometimes crush Lilly. I just got out of a bad…re–…thing…"

"I'm sorry," Lilly said, "I shouldn't have pressed."

"It's…I'm…fine," Miley said, "I just keep wondering when the hurting stops."

"It will," Lilly said giving Miley a sympathetic frown, "If you wanna talk about it I'm here."

As much as Miley wanted to open up to Lilly she didn't want Lilly to know about what had happened and what was still happening with Jake. Enough people knew how weak she was as it was, she couldn't stand Lilly knowing. Without her knowing at least in her mind she could feel worth of the girl in her imagination if not in real life.

Jackson returned with popcorn, he stayed in the living room to finish the rest of the movie when Jackson left Miley decided that she wanted to do Lilly's hair, and despite the blond's protesting Miley got her way.

The talked about usual stuff Oliver's latest blunder at the skate park where he not only managed to land flat on his face but he also lost his pants in the process. Miley braided Lilly's long blond hair into two side plaits and Lilly was satisfied that her hair was out of the way.

***

Lilly decided to brush Miley's hair next as to return the favor, Miley relaxed lying her head on Lilly's lap allowing Lilly to brush out her long chestnut brown hair. Lilly lost herself in the task and lost herself in thoughts of the girl in her lap.

She had to be really careful, she was starting to feel things for Miley and she was certain the other girl just wanted to be friends. She had to be careful or she would blow everything because of her stupid feelings and her raging hormones. Lilly wasn't sure how long she'd lost herself in thought until the DVD they were watching went back to the title menu and she realized that she wasn't brushing Miley's hair that she was stroking it with her hands. The silken strands felt exquisite against her calloused hands.

She hadn't noticed that Miley's breathing had evened out and the girl had fallen asleep on her lap. Lilly sighed and lay back against the couch pillows, stopping herself from studying Miley's sleeping face the way she had done the last time she'd slept over.

After gingerly moving the brunette Lilly got up to turn out the lights before climbing back into bed, before she could get her thoughts to stop racing to sleep Miley rolled over on her wrapping her arm around Lilly and placing her head on the blond's chest still sleeping soundly. Lilly couldn't help but think it was cute that Miley cuddled in her sleep. Lilly eventually fell into a comfortable sleep with Miley lying half on top of her, only to be violently wakened when Miley pulled away.

Lilly was afraid that Miley was reacting to their position while sleeping. She sat up slowly blinking sleep out of her eyes just in time to see Miley dash out of the front door.

"Miles!" she heard a familiar voice say, then violent retching.

Lilly tumbled out of bed, to find Miley bent over the flower bed on the front walk puking her guts out, Nick standing beside her rubbing her back and making sure her hair was out of the way.

"Are you okay?" Nick asked when he was certain Miley was finished.

She nodded before moving past him then past Lilly and into the house. They both shared a knowing look and followed her inside, but Miley had already climbed the stairs.

"What happened?" Nick wanted to know.

Lilly shrugged, "We were sleeping, and then she just ran out. I think you saw the rest."

"She did the same thing when she woke up the last time I slept over, I could hear her from downstairs," Nick frowned he was lost in his own thoughts and it would be useless for Lilly to ask him anything.

Jackson came downstairs a few minutes later with bed head and only wearing a pair of blue plaid pajama bottoms low on his hips stretching and yawning. He caught sight of Nick, and was momentarily shocked. Lilly could tell he was a little embarrassed being seen like this by the guy he liked.

"What are you doin' here?" Jackson asked, "It's nine in the morning."

"What? I was planning on breaking in to cook breakfast," Nick said simply.

"Hmmm…" Jackson said pausing and pretending to think it over, "that's somethin' I can get used to I guess."

"What's the matter with Miley?" Nick said, "Is there something I should know."

"That asshole did a number on her," Jackson said, "You were there it's going to be a long time before she gets back to bein' the Miley we remember."

"Jackson," Nick sighed heading into the kitchen, "has she been sick in the mornings?"

Lilly went to pretend that she wasn't listening taking her time and straightening up the pull out taking the sheets off and folding it up.

"Sometimes I think," Jackson said.

"You don't think she's…pregnant?" Nick said, "It's the last thing any of us want to think about but it's possible."

"She would say somethin'," Jackson said, "The doctor says it's a nervous stomach."

"Did the doctor have Miley take a pregnancy test?" Nick questioned.

"I don't think so," Jackson said, "Dad was there."

"Well, I think she should take one," Nick said.

"I don't know if she could handle that after everythin'," Jackson said.

"We have to know for sure," Nick said.

"Know what?" Miley asked stepping into the kitchen.

Lilly looked up and Miley was fresh from the shower her long brown hair was wet and pulled up on top of her head and she was wearing a pair of white shorts and coral Dolman top with white accents the top of white swimsuit could be seen where the shoulder drooped on her top, she looked ready for the beach.

"Miley you would tell us, if you thought somethin' was wrong wouldn't you?" Jackson asked

"Yeah," Miley said.

"How often do you get sick in the mornings?" Nick questioned.

Lilly hung back and stayed quiet, she was well aware that Miley had a boyfriend but she didn't know that they had been that serious. She liked the way Jackson and Nick handled things.

Miley looked from her brother to Nick her eyes filling with tears.

"At least three times a week," Miley said, "the doctor said–"

"It was a nervous stomach," Nick said, "We know and we're worried."

"I'm scared," Miley said, "I thought I could hide it. But I think I might be…"

"It's okay," Jackson pulled Miley into a hug, "We'll get through this just like we always do."

Lilly was putting pieces together in her head, she assumed that Miley's boyfriend had rushed her into having sex before she was ready she'd regretted it and they'd broken up and now she was facing the possibility of pregnancy.

Once Lilly was satisfied with the pull out couch, she joined the three in the kitchen. Miley was wiping tears.

"Are you alright?" Lilly asked, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I'm scared," Miley said.

"It's okay to be scared," Lilly said, "If you want after breakfast I will go somewhere and personally purchase a test for you."

"You will?" Miley asked.

"Yes," Lilly said.

Miley threw her arms around Lilly's neck, "Thank you so much, I'd be so embarrassed to buy one myself."

Lilly tried not to blush as Miley pressed herself close while the two boys looked on, one of which was her very protective older brother brother the other clearly in love with her and equally protective of her. Lilly was having a horrible time trying to keep her feelings in check she wanted to hold Miley and wipe her tears away kiss her and tell her everything would be alright. She'd settle for returning the hug and whispering reassurance.

"I'm going to go up and get changed," Jackson said.

"Good, because you look like a shirtless hobo," Nick said.

"Yeah but I'm a sexy hobo," Jackson threw over his shoulder as he headed for the stairs.

"So sexy, yeah right in your dreams," Nick said sarcastically to Jackson retreating back before he headed into the kitchen.

"Let me get those dishes," Miley said.

"No," Nick responded, "I've got them."

"Are you guys going to start treating me like an invalid before we even find out if I'm…?" Miley asked.

"Just relax you've had a rough morning," Nick said rolling up the sleeves on his plaid button down, "I need something to keep myself busy, if not I'd be boarding a plane and kicking some ass poise and rationality be dammed."

"Violence won't solve anythin' trust me," Miley said.

"I'm gonna go up and get dressed," Lilly said.

Miley nodded and took a seat at the island, preparing to talk with Nick while he worked.

***

Jackson did his best not to let his feelings show when he was around Nick. He'd never felt more vulnerable in his life and that includes the time that his pants ripped in the tenth grade and he walked around for an hour before he realized why everyone was laughing at him. He just got so used to the breeze, he didn't notice and he hadn't been wearing underwear.

He'd had another night of those torturous dreams he'd woken himself to shower and clean up his mess. Honestly, he'd never had so many wet dreams when he was going through puberty, so why in the hell was he having them at twenty? The reason was the same as the reason for a lot of things in Jackson's life, it was simply unknown.

Clearly he wasn't taking the time to masturbate enough. A situation he'd be fully ready to rectify while he took his second shower in less than twelve hours, if Nick wasn't downstairs and Jackson wasn't too sure if he could be quiet enough. He stepped under the hot shower spray ignoring the snippets of his dream that came back to his memory.

He was driving down the coast highway in his Volkswagen with Nick riding shotgun, nothing erotic so far until Jackson pulled off on a dirt road and the rating was quickly upped to mature. Jackson sighed looking down at his already turgid erection.

After a few moments of doing his best to ignore it while he shampooed his hair and washed his body, he could no longer do so. Wondering if Nick would be shy or would he be eager the first time they fooled around. Jackson liked to think that once Nick got going he might be insatiable. His motions sped up his fantasy already in place.

***

"I miss the pull of your heart I could taste the sparks on your tongue I see angels and devils And God, when you come on Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on Sing sha la la la Sing sha la la la la ooooh, oooooh, ooooo oooooooohhh So come on get higher, loosen my lips Faith and desire in the swing of your hips," Nick sang as he slowly set strips of bacon in a skillet.

Miley was bored watching Nick meticulously arrange things so he could cook, he'd washed dishes and also washed his hands at least five times. He was so OCD and completely predictable, at least when it came to the kitchen he was a total germaphobe when he had the time after he cooked at their place he'd wash dishes immediately after they ate and mop the kitchen and even throw away leftovers from the fridge. Miley kept things pretty clean but he made the whole family seem like slobs when he came over.

Miley looked at her friend with a raised eyebrow, he'd just sang innuendo and she was certain the boy was so innocent that he might not have been aware.

"Just pull me down hard And drown me in love So come on get higher, loosen my lips Faith and desire in the swing of your hips Just pull me down hard," Miley found herself singing along.

Nick looked up and smiled at her while he sizzled the bacon and started on the pancakes, Miley realized she was starving.

"Sounds good," Lilly said climbing up on the stool next to Miley, "What are we singing?"

"Come On Get Higher," Miley replied.

"I like that song," Lilly said.

Lilly was dressed in a pair of khaki Bermudas and a blue tank top with some white and blue board shoes, Miley could see the outline of Lilly's swimsuit underneath, and Lilly was stacked. Miley blushed and averted her eyes, thankfully she remembered to put on her own swimsuit.

"Did you bring your swimsuit Nick?" Miley said, "We were thinking about heading to the beach today."

"If I go to the beach then I've got to wear Jackson's Buckeey Kentucky outfit which draws just as much attention as me going as myself," Nick said, "You guys go and have fun I'll hang out here with Jackson maybe play a little Rockband or something."

Miley gave Lilly a wink.

"I saw that," Nick said, "so you guys must want me out of the way for a scheme."

"No scheme," Miley said.

"Totally not scheming," Lilly said, "We were just going to go get the test at like Wal-Mart or something come back have her take it and go to the beach and lay out celebrating it's negative response. Even if it's positive we're still going for hotdogs at Rico's."

"Definitely," Miley said, "I don't even wanna think about. This ties me to Jake forever, and I love kids really I do but I don't want that."

"We won't think about it," Lilly said, "We'll think about next Friday's home game and how Oliver is going to bomb the announcements or how the Sharks will probably lose, or about Ms. Kunkel's orthopedic shoes."

"Normal teenage stuff?" Miley asked.

"Yes, for as long as we can," Lilly assured her.

Miley smiled at Lilly loving how the girl's very presence put her at complete ease.

When she turned her gaze back to Nick he was staring at the stove in deep thought.

"Nick, what's up?" Miley asked.

"Nothing," he said, "Trying not to burn the blueberry pancakes I've been perfecting this recipe since Kevin left. He'd always try to eat the pancakes before I was done with them."

"Well, I don't know how they taste but they smell delicious," Lilly said.

"Thanks," Nick responded with an easy smile.

Jackson came bounding downstairs just in time to eat, they all sat at the table enjoying breakfast together.

"So are you stickin' around tonight?" Jackson asked Nick.

"Well, my folks are out of town, they left this morning to spend some time at a bed and breakfast in Encino, Frankie is spending the weekend in the woods with his boy scout troop," Nick said, "So I'm pretty much free. I figure I could either hang out here with actual people or stay at home and listen to melodramatic music."

"Well, as nice as melodramatic music is," Miley said, "We're glad to have you. Not to mention Daddy is coming back tonight and we're making a big welcome home feast. You know how much he likes talking music with you and he'll have a ton to say at dinner about the new artist he's workin' with."

"That's great," Nick said, "It sounds fun."

"Well, until the part about how Jackson was supposed to do the cooking and we were gonna clean up," Miley said.

"I'd pay to see Jackson in the kitchen," Nick laughed.

"Let's hope the finished product is edible," Miley said.

"I'm makin' catfish stew," Jackson said proudly, "I've made it once before when you were in Florida with Roxie and it was a hit."

"We'll see," Miley said.

"Oliver is waiting in the wings with some wings probably," Lilly said laughing, "He's supposed to be here by now I wonder where he is."

"Probably hittin' on some innocent stranger at the beach," Miley suspected.

Breakfast was over and Jackson offered to help clean up while Lilly and Miley made that trip to Wal-Mart. Miley was antsy the whole way there.

"It's okay to be scared," Lilly said as Miley parked her car.

"I don't want it to be true," Miley said with a grave look on her face, "If it's true then it's all out in the open and everyone will know."

"Teenagers have sex all the time," Lilly said, "Everyone knows that."

Miley laughed a short bitter laugh, "I wish it were that simple. Those teenagers you're talkin' about they're not me. I didn't have sex."

Miley could feel the lump her throat she really didn't want to cry she dint want Lilly to know how fucked up she really was.

"Did he pressure you into it?" Lilly questioned.

"No," Miley said, "He raped me."

Just saying it out loud killed her she bit back a sob and shut her eyes leaning on the steering wheel so much she blew the horn when her hand hit the center. She didn't want to see Lilly's reaction.

"Shit, Miley this is heavy," Lilly said, "That's what Jackson and Nick were talking about. Are they the only ones who know?"

"Yeah," Miley said.

"I'm sorry that happened to you," Lilly said, "I didn't mean to pry."

"I'm fine," Miley said.

"You should really talk to someone about it," Lilly said, "I can't believe I didn't see this coming the way you freeze up around those asshole jocks at school. Next time they try out their brand of flirtation I'm gonna kick their asses."

"I can't go to a shrink," Miley said wiping her face, "I didn't even want Jackson and Nick to know but they saw…and then there was a fight…and Jake threatened that if they hurt him he'd tell everyone my secret."

"What could be worse than what he did? What can be worse that he could tell that would make up for you having to carry this around?" Lilly questioned.

"Givin' up life as I know it," Miley said, "I really want to tell you but you'd never believe me."

"Why wouldn't I believe you?" Lilly said, "We're friends right? Of course we're friends otherwise I wouldn't be going into Wal-Mart to buy you a pregnancy test. When you're ready, I'm willing to listen."

"Thank you," Miley said pulling Lilly into another awkward hug the console b.

Miley got a whiff of Lilly's apple scented shampoo, and had to force herself to pull away blushing. They went inside to the health and beauty section stopping on the aisle with the condoms, they quietly debated on tests. Miley didn't meet eyes with any of the other patrons passing by, she was grateful that Lilly suggested going to LA to pick up the tests.

They talked quietly about which test might be the best, Lilly got two of the leading brands just for accuracy and they walked to the checkout with Miley standing awkwardly behind Lilly. Miley could feel the eyes of a man in the next lane of the checkout boring into her she reluctantly raised her eyes to his.

He gave her wink and made a gesture for her to move closer so he could talk to her. She shook her head and prepared to follow Lilly out of the store.

"I'm talking to you baby," he called.

Miley froze.

"Ease off asshole," Lilly fired back grabbing Miley's hand and leading her out of the store.

"Oh my bad didn't know you were taken," the man said, "Dykes."

"Yeah, too bad, the ladies like me a hell of a lot better than they like you," Lilly said letting go of Miley's hand only to place her hand at the small of Miley's back leading her out into the parking lot.

Miley followed stumbling a little.

"Are you okay?" Lilly stopped suddenly spinning to face Miley.

Their blue gazes meet and Miley nodded still trembling.

"Are you sure?" Lilly asked.

"No," Miley answered truthfully tears coloring her voice once again, "Do they all know? Can they just tell that I'm an easy target?"

"You're not an easy target," Lilly reassured, "it's totally not your fault that you're gorgeous and that seventy five percent of the male population are salivating dogs in heat."

"I don't wanna take the test right now I can't handle any bad news," Miley whispered, "Can we just go to the beach and pretend that all this is a bad dream?"

"Pretending isn't going to help," Lilly pointed out, "This morning has been really stressful for you. If we go to the beach and try to have fun will you promise to take the tests when we get back to your house and not put them off any longer?"

"I promise," Miley agreed, "Will you be there with me?"

"Yeah, wouldn't miss it for the world," Lilly said.

***

Something was up Jackson was acting even weirder than usual and he was usually pretty weird. Today however he was a different kind of weird. Nick couldn't figure out what was his deal. Jackson was quiet while they cleaned up the kitchen after Miley and Lilly went out, there was not much playful banter going on. Not that Nick missed the teasing but he didn't like that something was going on with Jackson.

After they finished cleaning they went to checks scores on ESPN, and Jackson was sitting so far away he might as well have been out the door. Then while they were playing Rockband Jackson reacted weirdly when they were exchanging instruments and their fingers touched, Oliver who had invited himself over didn't notice much of the change he was too busy acting like a fan girl to notice Jackson's indifference toward Nick.

Nick was thankful when Oliver had gone to pick up lunch for his mother and everyone else at the police station and getting confirmation from Miley that she was fine and at the beach with Lilly. She was putting off taking the tests and it worried Nick, he hoped Lilly could get through to her. He now had his own problems to confront rather than forcing Miley to confront her own.

"Jackson what's going on?" Nick questioned while they were playing Fallout 3.

"We're playin' a game," Jackson said in a bored tone of voice.

"That's not what I meant and you know it," Nick said, "You're acting strange and I'd like to know why."

Jackson paused the game tossed his wireless controller on the table, "I should go to the store I still need to get some more stuff for dinner? You wanna come we can get some lunch."

"Just talk to me," Nick said, "You haven't looked at me in an hour. Did I do something? Do you want me to leave? If I'm hanging out too much please just tell me."

"Nick, can't you leave it alone?" Jackson asked, "It's nothin' you did…this…this is all me trust me. Let's go to the store and get the stuff we need from dinner. You can wear my Rico's hoody nobody will recognize you in that."

"Jackson are you going to avoid this all day?" Nick asked.

"It's nothin' you did I promise," Jackson said, "Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not angry with you I'm confused with a side of annoyed and now you want me to wear your smelly Rico's hoody?" Nick asked.

"Come on we'll have fun," Jackson said with an easy smile.

Things were at least halfway normal after that; Nick didn't know how much he missed Jackson's playful smile until Jackson started acting weird. Despite Nick's reservation about going grocery shopping with Jackson they had a lot of fun, and no one recognized him with the hoody on and hanging over his face like Kenny from South Park.

Nick realized Jackson was back to his old self when he had to duck a flying catfish tossed at him when they went to the outdoor fish market.

Nick pretended to be mad about the incident but he was really glad to have his friend back and that no resonating weirdness remained between them. Time seemed to fly by after stopping for burgers and watching Jackson eat messily while driving back to the house Nick realized that it was five and Robbie Ray would be getting in at around eight.

They started working on dinner, and Nick got to observe Jackson's cooking skills and he tried his best not to criticize, and he could tell Jackson was trying hard. They bantered playfully while the nearly finished product was in the oven. Miley and Lilly had come in wearing their swimsuits and headed up stairs laughing.

"Can we talk now?" Nick asked.

"About?" Jackson questioned obviously being avoidant.

"How you acted today," Nick said, "I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything, we're friends."

"I know that," Jackson said turning serious, "What if we won't be friends if I talk about this with you?"

"If you don't want to hang out with me, you don't have to," Nick said taking off the apron and preparing to walk away.

Jackson grabbed his wrist, and their eyes met. Jackson was about five inches shorter, but he'd always seemed to have an intimidating yet friendly presence.

"Wait," Jackson said.

The tone of his voice caused Nick to stop, Jackson was staring at the space between them and at this point there wasn't much.

After a deep breath Nick responded, "I'm waiting."

"Sometimes," Jackson started, "It's really hard to hang out with you. And not for the reasons you'd think, not because you're stubborn, sometimes very predictable, too smart for your own good, and self righteous."

Nick tried to jerk his wrist away from Jackson and move away from the older boy but Jackson completely pinned him to the counter and he couldn't get his hand away.

"It's because you're funny, innocent, and the way you look after Miley is wonderful," Jackson said, "And I think you're kinda beautiful."

Nick was somewhere in between angry and confused, but so thunderstruck by the last Bella Swan-esque omission from Jackson the most unlikely person he'd ever expect to hear it from.

"What?" Nick whispered.

"Is that what you wanted to hear?" Jackson whispered pressing Nick harder up against the counter and himself closer.

The meaning behind what he said became clear, Nick had been slouching and Jackson was reaching and Jackson's mouth met his. Nick didn't know how to react he remained still at first. His eyes closed slowly, and he wasn't thinking about that this was one of his best friends kissing him. Simply that it was someone who wanted him, whether it be love or lust he was wanted by someone.

All the time spent pining for Miley really had an effect on him, not to mention being chased down by empty headed celebutantes, attention whore movie starlets, and fangirls who were more than willing to jump in bed with fame he didn't even really have to be there for anything more than a photo op.

And damn it he was kissing back loving the feel of those chapped lips against his, it was a slow and conquering kiss in which Nick didn't even bother with a show of dominance. The kiss deepened and Nick allowed Jackson to press against him and completely ravage his mouth. He couldn't ignore the feelings it all invoked in him.

Jackson was the first to pull away whispering against Nick's neck, "I know I probably shouldn't love you this way, but I do."

The rasp in his voice and the southern accent made Nick quickly come to his senses and realize who he'd been kissing. He'd kissed a boy and he liked it. His first instinct was to run, despite the fact that he'd just had one of the best kisses he'd had in a long time.

Jackson must have saw his expression and he began to back away apologizing.

"It's no problem no harm no foul," Nick said quickly.

"Yeah it is," Jackson said, "I can't think straight when we're alone. I'm sorry man."

"You can't help how you feel," Nick said, "Anyway, I'm gonna take rain check on dinner. Tell Miles I'll call her later."

"Nick! Wait," Jackson said firmly.

It took everything Nick had to keep walking toward the front door, "Jackson I just need some time. I'm not running away, but I just need to process all of this, that's all."

With that he was gone, not realizing he hadn't taken a breath since after the kiss. Getting into his car he felt badly for leaving Jackson like that, but he needed time to sort everything out, and he was more than certain that if he stayed Jackson would kiss him again and he'd let it happen.

***

"Miley are you okay in there?" Lilly asked toweling off her wet hair Miley was in the bathroom taking the tests, "Did you fall in?"

The fun that they had at the beach managed to carry over to the hardest task Lilly could imagine facing at seventeen.

"No," Miley said, "I'm done, they need time to cook though."

Lilly could hear the sink running as Miley washed her hands.

"I had fun today," Miley said reentering her bedroom where Lilly was standing.

"Me too," Lilly said, "If this is how you want your life to be, you can make it like that. Put all that stuff in the past without pretending everything is okay. We're here for you to lean on even your dad is I'm sure."

Miley nodded, "I couldn't imagine havin' him know… he'd go ballistic."

"So is it because of what Jake did to you that you don't like Nick, I mean like…as in like?" Lilly asked.

Miley paused frowning, "No, that's not why."

"Why is it because you see him as more of a friend?" Lilly questioned.

"No," Miley said, "I…um…I'm not really…um…actually…I'm more into… girls…"

Lilly dropped the towel she was using on her hair, "What?"

"I know…I probably should have told you," Miley said, "You were honest with me from the begin–"

Lilly crossed the small space between them and took Miley's face in her hands cutting off the rest of what she was going to say as she watched Lilly with curious eyes that seemed more green than blue at the moment.

"Can I kiss you? I've been thinking about this since we met," Lilly said, "I'll never do anything with you that you don't want."

"Please," Miley said her eyes falling closed, "I've wanted you to kiss me for a while."

The first brush of their lips was very apprehensive, it was slow and quite pleasurable, Lilly enjoyed the little moan Miley made when she deepened the kiss.

The insistent beep of the egg timer in the bathroom made Lilly almost think this was a dream and her alarm clock was merely going off again.

Miley pulled away with a breathless whisper of, "Sweet nibblets…"

Lilly smiled, "Let's go take a look at those tests."

"What does this mean for us?" Miley asked.

"Whatever you want it to mean," Lilly said, "We can talk about us later, right now this is about you."

They headed into the bathroom, Miley hesitantly took a peak at the tests on the back of the toilet.

Miley let a squeal and bounded over to Lilly with an excited smile on her face. She threw her arms around Lilly's neck.

"Not pregnant?" Lilly questioned pressing their foreheads together and closing her arms around Miley's waist.

"Nope," Miley said, "I'll have to take another after my next cycle, that's what the box says just to make sure."

Lilly nodded and pressed their lips together while she spun Miley around.

Miley was giggling when they pulled away, "I'm going to get dressed for dinner."

"Alright," Lilly let her go and headed into the bedroom to the do the same.

They headed downstairs hand in hand Miley was telling Lilly about her guitars, Miley was the first to notice Jackson sitting on the linoleum hardwood staring out the open front door looking completely broken.

"Jackson what happened?" Miley asked, "Where's Nick?"

"He's gone," Jackson frowned.

"You told him?" Lilly said it was more or less an understanding than a question.

"And I showed him," Jackson said silent tears on his face as he looked up at the two girls pulling his knees closer to his chest, "I kissed him and I swear he even tasted pure."

"You what?" Miley asked.

"I'm fuckin' stupid I know," Jackson said, "I just love him so much. It gets harder and harder to be alone with him without…"

"It's okay," Lilly said, "he needs time."

"He fuckin' ran," Jackson said bitterly, "and who wouldn't run from me."

"Jackson," Miley said joining her brother on the floor and wrapping her arms around him, "It's gonna be okay."

"It won't…" Jackson said, "It's better this way, I'd rather not have him at all if I've gotta be just a friend forever."

"Just give him some space," Lilly suggested, "this is a new change for him."

"He's probably headed to space to get away from me," Jackson said violently wiping his tears away, "I knew better."

"And I knew better than to take an earlier flight," a voice said from the doorway, Miley and Jackson's father was standing there with his arms laden with bags, "I've been callin' you two for half an hour."

"You're not going to greet your old man?" Robbie Ray questioned.

"Daddy," Miley said pulling herself up and extending a hand to help Jackson off the floor.

Miley gave her dad a hug and then it was Jackson's turn.

"What's the matter son?" Robbie questioned.

"I'm fine," Jackson said in a flat tone.

"I've heard my share of those over the past few months," Robbie Ray said, "And I'm damned tired of them…is that catfish stew I smell?"

"Yep," Miley said, "Jackson made it."

"Nick helped a lot," Jackson said blushing.

"He didn't even stick around it eat it I see," Robbie Ray said, "Hey Lilly, it's nice to see you again, are you going stick around for some catfish stew."

"Sure," Lilly said.

***

Jackson picked at his food brooding as the group ate dinner, Oliver had invited himself over yet again, this time bearing strawberry cheese cake dessert.

"Where'd Nick go? Did he have like a concert to get to or some other interesting rockstar stuff to do?" Oliver asked, "Like a date with Hannah Montana or something?"

Miley nearly choked on her iced tea at the mention of her alter ego. Any other time Jackson might have thought it was funny, but not tonight. Everything in his world was wrong.

"I think he said he had to mix some tracks," Lilly said quickly, and Jackson was thankful.

"What's wrong son?" Robbie Ray asked, "Usually by now you might have ate the whole pan of stew."

Jackson took a deep breath, "I'm not feeling so hot."

"Did you get into a fight with Nick?" Robbie Ray asked.

"I got into something with Nick," Jackson said setting his fork down, "But it wasn't a fight, I kissed him dad, I'm gay…I like dudes, well just one dude. Nick…"

"Is that what's been going on here?" Robbie Ray asked, "The weird way everyone has been actin'?"

"Not entirely," Miley admitted, "Jackson has been dealin' with the way he feels for Nick, Lilly and I caught on. We all support him 110% right Daddy?"

"Of course," Robbie Ray said, "it might not be the easiest thin' for a dad to get his head around findin' out his only son is gay. But if this is who you are and it makes you happy."

"Thanks dad," Jackson said, "I'm glad you accept me."

"That's really great Mr. S…" Lilly said, "Way cooler than my parents. My mom cried for awhile when she realized I was gay agonizing about grandchildren but then she supported me. My dad wanted to send me to rehab to get me back on the "straight" and narrow. It destroyed my parents marriage, my mom hated the fact that he wanted to change me."

"Yeah," Oliver agreed, "Ain't no way I'm telling Detective Oaken I'm bi she would shit a golden egg and then the goose."

"Don't be afraid to tell your parents anythin' or me for that matter," Robbie Ray gave a pointed look to Miley who was paying more attention her plate than anything else.

"Was Nick a good kisser?" Oliver said pulling out his phone, "Is it okay if blog about this?"

"My life is a little ruined right now, you cannot blog about any of it," Jackson said getting up from the table and starting to clear dishes, "I'm sorry about being such a downer tonight."

"I'm beat anyway," Robbie said standing up from his chair, "I think I'm goin' to head to bed. Gay or straight remember same rules apply. No foolin' around in my house. Try not to play the TV too loud. The food was good, Jackson."

"Thanks, dad," Jackson said.

Miley's phone rang and she pulled it from her pocket and glanced at the screen, "It's Nick."

Miley answered, "Hey. Are you okay?"

She laughed, "Me? I'm fine, I failed the tests, I'll take another one next month to make sure I'm in the clear. What about you? Jackson told me what happened. Are you okay?"

Miley wandered out of the room to listen to what Nick had to say while Jackson cleared the table with the help of Lilly while Oliver sat at the table still polishing off his second plate of stew.

"You can talk to me about this," Lilly said, "I've been in your position more than once."

"If you ask me you're in right now," Jackson said, "I know you like Miley I saw the way you were holding her last night."

Lilly smiled, "She likes me too. It can happen for you Jackson be patient."

"You'd better not hurt my sister," Jackson said, "She's been through hell."

"She told me some of it," Lilly said, "I wouldn't dream of hurting her nor would I ever rush things with her. She is everything I've ever wanted in a woman and she's been through so much I'm letting her set the pace and tell me what she needs. Try doing the same for Nick."

Jackson nodded.

"You and Miley?" Oliver asked around a mouthful of food, "You and Miley?"

"What of it Oaken?" Lilly said.

"Nothing," Oliver chuckled, "You and your dream girl and you didn't tell me?"

"There wasn't any time," Lilly stated with a big grin.

Miley came in from the other room, phone in hand a smile on her face.

"What did he say? Does he hate me?" Jackson asked.

"He just said he needs time," Miley said, "He's not mad. He's confused. You must be some hell of a kisser"

"Oh…" Jackson said a blush creeping across his face.

"You did just spring it on the poor guy," Miley said, "I told him about us. Lilly, is it okay? "

"It's fine," Lilly said, "I kinda told Jackson and Oliver."

"Good," Miley said, "I've gotta tell dad, but I'm just not ready and plus I didn't wanna steal Jackson's thunder."

Miley took Lilly's hand.

"You kids are so cute," Oliver said, "I hate to eat and run but I've got to get home my sisters are coming in from college. We're supposed to do a big family dinner. See ya ladies and Jackson."

"Bye Ollie!" Miley said.

"Check ya later Oaken," Lilly said, "I swear that dude is a bottomless pit."

The three of them finished the dishes and cleaned up the mess Oliver had made and Jackson was lying on the couch with Miley waiting on Lilly to finish her shower so they could start the movie.

"I know he says he just needs time," Jackson said, "Why do I feel like nothin' is ever gonna be the same."

"Maybe it won't be the same but isn't that why you kissed him?" Lilly questioned going to lie down on the other side of Miley.

"Yeah," Jackson said, "but I didn't want to things to change in like a bad way."

"Well, they've got to be better than they've been is all I can say," Miley said.

"What are we gonna to do when Jake comes back from Europe?" Jackson asked.

"He'll meet some nice European girl and forget all about me," Miley said, "he's not really one for havin' a long attention span, he's probably already doin' it with Mikayla."

"If he bothers you again I'll beat his ass, probation be damned," Lilly said.

"You'll have to get in line," Jackson said.

It would be the following Friday night before Jackson spoke to Nick, they'd been texting as usual about general stupid stuff falling back into the just friends routine by Monday.

Jackson was on the upstairs balcony listening to his IPod play depressing music, he'd just finished listening to Can't Live if Living is Without You (Mariah version) now he was listening to Celine Dion's All By Myself and gazing out over the beach.

He was lost in the mournful melody and powerful vocals and he nearly jumped a foot when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned to find Nick standing there looking completely adorable in a blue and white nautically inspired sweater and dark navy pants.

"Hey," Nick said once Jackson had pulled out his ear buds, "Didn't mean to scare you."

"I scared you it's only fair," Jackson whispered, "How have you been?"

"I've been okay," Nick said stuff his hands into his pockets, "I have a couple of things to say, and I wanna just say them without you interrupting or apologizing about what happened between us. Cause it wasn't just you, didn't you notice I kissed you back."

Jackson smiled at the memory, "Yeah."

"You're interrupting," Nick chastised with a smile, "That kiss was everything I've ever wanted and the thing that threw me was I got it from the person I least expected to get it from. All I ever wanted was to hear someone say to me what you said and kiss me like that. I can't believe that I bolted when I got it. You're a wonderful guy, and I've always known that as much as I wanted it Miley and I would never be together."

Jackson was wondering when the M word would be brought up again, he tried he really tried not to be jealous of Miley she got pretty much everything so easily so effortlessly whether she wanted it or not.

"I've been pretty much in a daze since we kissed I kept thinking that because I liked it," Nick said, "That I'd have to define myself immediately, I realized all I needed to know was that whether or not I want it to happen again. I don't know how to do this. I just want…I really want you to kiss me again."

Jackson stood there slack jawed.

"I want you to know that you're never a second choice to me," Nick said, "And the reasons I like you have nothing to do with Miley or anyone else. It's got everything to do with you and the way you feel about me. I'm not there yet by any stretch of the imagination, but I want to try this…with you."

Jackson stood immobile wondering if he'd day dreamed this again.

"You can interrupt now," Nick said, "This is the part where you supposed to get your short ass up here and kiss me."

Jackson moved so close that they could be wearing each other as a second skin. He cupped the taller boy's face and Nick leaned the rest of the way allowing their lips to meet.