Chapter 1:

"Daffy has a sister?!"

Bam!

Daffy fixed his beak which had just been blown off by Elmer Fudd. He glared at Bugs who just gave him a smug look. He opened his mouth to say something but Bugs cut him off.

"Before you say anything, I just wanted to point out that it's duck season."

Elmer Fudd raised his gun. "WAIT!" Daffy shouted. Too late, he got shot yet again. He couldn't take this anymore. "THAT DOESTH IT! I'M DONE PLAYING WITH YOU TWO!" He stomped off.

"Is he twying to say it's weawy wabbit season?" Elmer Fudd asked.

"Nah, he's just mad. I'd better go calm him down before he murders someone. See ya Doc," Bugs said following after Daffy.

"Bye ya scwewy wabbit." Elmer continued his shooting of innocent animals.

Bugs caught up with Daffy who looked pretty fed up. "So…"

"Don't talk to me," Daffy said.

"C'mon Daff, where's your Christmas spirit!" Bugs said enthusiastically.

Daffy walked over to a stand where people were selling Christmas trees and ripped off a branch. Then he hit Bugs on the head with it. "Shut up."

Bugs rubbed his forehead and shook his head in pity at Daffy. "No Christmas spirit. Just pitiful."

Daffy walked into Ben & Jerry's. "Every time. Every time it's alwaysth duck season rabbit season, bam, bam, bam, the duck loses his beak. And you laugh. Why can't you get shot just once?!" Daffy sat down across from Porky and ate his ice cream.

"Whatever you're m-m-mad about you're gonna take it out on my i-i-i-i…frozen delicacy?" Porky said angrily.

Daffy shoved a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. "Don't talk to me."

Bugs observed the forceful and angry way Daffy was eating. "Ya shouldn't eat like that, you're gonna tear something internally."

Daffy dropped the spoon and glared at him. "You've already torn sthomething internally in me."

Sylvester came over when he overheard their conversation. "Ouch." He sat down with a smoothie covered in whipped cream. "Let me guessth, you got shot by Fudd a couple thousthand timesth right?"

Daffy continued eating Porky's ice cream. "Don't talk to me."

Porky got up. "I'm going to get more i-i-i-ice cream."

Suddenly Melissa and Lola came through the door. "Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to ride on a one horse open sleigh!"

"No Christhmas carols. Sylvia and Jr won't quit playing them at home. I don't want to hear anymore jingle bellsth," Sylvester complained.

"Fine then," Melissa said. "Rudolph the red nosed reign deer…!"

"Shut up Melisstha," Sylvester said covering his ears.

Lola sat on Bugs' lap. "Hey baby."

Bugs kissed her. "Hey gorgeous." He kissed her again this time longer and more passionate.

"Okay, you're in an icthe cream shop, you don't do that," Sylvester said.

Lola held up her hand which held her gold wedding ring with the carrot engraved onto it which she enjoyed showing off. "Check the rings, we're married, we do do that."

Daffy let out a laugh for the first time all day. "Haha, that'sth funny."

Lola looked at him confused. "What?"

"You sthaid do do," Daffy laughed.

Lola glared at him. "Grow up!"

Porky came back and found Daffy laughing his head off. "Did I m-m-miss something?"

Suddenly the door opened again and in came a black duck with white blonde hair that looked much like Daffy. She ran over to him and gave him a hug. "Daffy!"

"D-Doloresth?" Daffy said utterly surprised.

Bugs and Sylvester exchanged a confused look. "Dolores?"

The rest of them observed the scene also with confusion clear on their faces. "Who's Dolores?"

Daffy pushed Dolores off of him. "I'm his sister," Dolores said.

Everyone except Bugs and Sylvester said at the same time "Daffy has a sister?!" Then they turned to Daffy. "You never told us you had a sister!"

Daffy kept his glare fixated on Dolores. "I wasth trying to forget I had a sthister in the firsth placthe."

"Why are you so grumpy? Aren't you glad to see me?" Dolores said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"No. Now get outta here!"

"Oh Daffy don't be mean," Melissa said. She shook Dolores' hand. "I'm Melissa Duck, Daffy's girlfriend."

"Nice to meet you Melissa." Dolores turned to Daffy. "I'm surprised you have a girlfriend Daffy, I always thought you were too cold and heartless to love someone."

Before Daffy could say something smart back to her she ran over to Bugs and gave him a hug. "Oh Bugs, I haven't seen you in forever. I watch all your cartoons, not Daffy's though, yours are way better."

"Um, thanks," Bugs said. He'd forgotten Dolores existed. He was still surprised to see her.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to all your friends Daffy?" Dolores asked.

"You should already know them sthince you watch all their cartoonsth but mine." Melissa elbowed him. "Fine. That's Porky, Lola, Melisstha, and you already know Bugsth and Sylvester. Now why the freak are you here?"

"I came here to see my big brother of course. And I haven't seen you in forever, I thought I'd pay you a visit," Dolores said innocently.

Daffy rolled his eyes. He knew Dolores well, and he knew she wouldn't try to be that nice on her own. "Right Doloresth, okay, get out of my face."

Lola stood up. "Hey Melissa, how about we show Dolores around?"

"That sounds fun. See you guys." Melissa, Lola, and Dolores left.

Sylvester looked at Daffy. "What the heck isth she doing here?"

Daffy shrugged. "I don't know."

"She decides to come here and talk to you after how long, thirty years?" Bugs said.

"W-w-wait a minute. B-b-back up. You haven't talked to your sister in th-th-thirty years?!" Porky exclaimed.

"They didn't have a very good relationship…okay that's an understhatement but you get the point," Sylvester said. "Doloresth was like the devil of all sthisters. That's why Daff left, to get away from her. And here she isth, back by popular demand."

"Pfft! What demand? No one asked her to come back," Daffy said angrily.

"I-i-it was that bad huh?" Porky asked. The rest of them nodded. "What happened?"

Bugs shook his head and waved it off. "Long story that we don't need to go into right now."

**

When Daffy came home a few hours later he found Dolores at his front door sitting on the steps. She gave him her usual smug look as he came towards her. "I was wondering when you'd be back. I thought I'd have to call the police to come find you."

"Doloresth why are you at my housthe?" Daffy asked.

"Your door was locked so I waited outside," Dolores said.

Daffy ignored her and went inside. He tried to slam the door in her face but she caught it. She looked around and took in the beauty of Daffy's house. It wasn't nearly as big as Bugs' house but it was huge. "I thought you lived in Beverly Hills?" she said as she examined the expensive statues in the hallway.

"Where have you been? I left Beverly Hillsth agesth ago," Daffy said as he took a beer out of the refrigerator.

"I've been in New York being ignored by you for over thirty years."

"Doloresth, why are you here, honesthly? If you hated me, and I sthure as hell hated you, why would you even think of coming back?"

Dolores stood there for a moment trying to decide if she had too much pride to tell him why she was really here. Finally she said, "I came because I wanted to make up."

Daffy spit out his drink on her. "What?!"

Dolores wiped her face. "Well, that was rude." She reached for a towel and cleaned herself off. "Yes I want to make up. I mean, you can't hold a grudge on someone forever. I know it sounds weird coming from me but it's true. I'm tired of fighting with you."

Daffy was shocked into silence. His superior, stuck on herself, I'm-better-than-you-in-all-ways sister was coming to him asking for a truce. He took another swig of his drink contemplating whether he should really forgive her or not.

"You know, you shouldn't drink. It's bad for you, you're gonna get liver problems," Dolores said trying to break the silence.

That did it. Dolores had overstayed her welcome. "Doloresth, get out of my housthe."

"I take it you don't want a truce then?"

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSTHE DOLORESTH!!!!!"

"I'm leaving, I'm leaving." Dolores left Daffy's house with disappointment washing over her. Oh well, she'd just have to try harder. Daffy was a stubborn one.