Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, bad things would happen. Very, very bad things.

What's the Time, Mr. Wolf?

Chapter 1 - One Parkinson is Enough

"I really, really love Halloween, did I ever tell you that?"

The comfortable silence among the three friends had been broken by Ron, and although she liked him, Hermione could not help but feel aggravated by his presence. She sounded a bit colder than usual when she replied, "Yes, I think you have, Ronald."

"No need to bite my head off, 'Mione," he said, putting an arm around her shoulders. Hermione's first instinct was to push him off, but she resisted it to make him happy. Harry seemed to notice her stiffen slightly at his touch, but he refrained from saying anything - he didn't want Ron on his bad side. Something not obvious so I can help her, he thought.

"Did you see Umbridge's new dress?" Harry asked, changing the subject. Hermione used the chance to escape from Ron's grip. She shot a half-smile at her black-haired friend, and he looked back knowingly. "She won't need a costume - she's scary enough as it is. She almost looks like a dementor... A pink, frilly dementor."

"Harry, if I didn't know you better, I'd say that you're turning into a girl." Ron smiled. "You probably know more about fashion than Hermione does."

An uncomfortable silence followed, and Hermione was avoiding Ron by standing on Harry's other side. Thankfully, it was short lived when the loud crashes and bangs could be heard throughout the grounds. The Weasley Twins ran up to the group, followed by an exhausted looking Luna.

"Oi, don't just stand there! Help us! Save us from Umbridge!" yelled Fred.

"Fred Weasley asking for help? Has hell frozen over yet?" Harry snorted.

"Why should we help anyway?" snarled Ron, obviously unhappy that his brothers were ruining his 'moment' with Hermione.

"Because we're oh so lovable, Ronni-kins," George replied, "Hermione, you're responsible! Please can you help?" He threw his arms over Hermione, earning another dirty look from Ron.

"What did you three do first?" Hermione asked, and the three troublemakers looked at one another anxiously. "Something that would get you expelled, I take it?" She stepped over to them, ignoring Ron's objections, and rapped her wand off their heads. They turned invisible after a few seconds.

"Actually, it was my idea." Luna muttered.

"She said it was a good idea to pour polyjuice potion in her goblet at lunch. She turned into Pansy Parkinson, of course." continued one of the invisible twins. "Oh, and we might have set off some explosions."

"How'd you actually get Pansy's hair?" Harry asked while walking.

"Don't doubt our charming good looks, Harry." Fred said jokingly. "We seduced her, and we being the handsome knights that we are, she could not resist temptation." Everyone laughed except Ron, who still had not forgiven Hermione.

"You used magic to get it." Hermione stated. "I saw you stealing it in the Great Hall about a week ago. How did you actually make the potion? It takes forever to prepare, and you'd have to steal the ingredients."

"Skills," One said, and Hermione thought it was Fred. She was about to complain about his short answer, when she saw Pansy running towards them, but realised it was Umbridge, since the real Parkinson would be clinging to Draco Malfoy.

"Weasley, Potter, Granger," she spat out the last name, "I don't suppose you've seen the Weasley twins anywhere? Or Miss Lovegood?" She said Luna's name grudgingly, after all, Luna had never been in a spot of bother with the teachers before, unlike the Golden Trio.

"Nope." said Ron in a tone that made it obvious that they were there, and so Umbridge waved her wand, and the three lost their invisibility.

"Well, sh-" started George, before being cut off by the Defence teacher's ranting.

"ALL SIX OF YOU... IDIOTS SHALL BE GOING IN DETENTION FOR A MONTH!" she yelled.

Hermione found that a small crowd had gathered. As they were mostly Gryffindors, Hermione puffed out her chest bravely and said, "You might want to take a chill pill, Umbridge." Shocked whispers and looks with special meanings were spread throughout the gathering students.

Luna whispered in her ear, "Why'd you do that?"

Hermione replied, "Because the Umbitch's getting on my nerves."

"Well, well, well," Umbridge said in that sickly sweet voice she used on her first day. "Granger, you, Miss Lovegood, and the Weasley Twins just earned yourselves a one-way ticket straight to my office. Lucky for you, it is a Saturday." She turned her back and started heading back, "Now!"

Harry and Ron sighed in relief, glad that their most hated teacher had forgotten about them, until they heard her yell something. "Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley, you should head to Professor Dumbledore's office to get your punishment!"

The two remaining from the trio remained in a state of shock, wondering where Hermione had found the courage to stand up to teachers.

"I'm bored."

The twins spoke in unison once Umbridge had left them in her overly done, pink office. Black quills were each in of their hands, evil-looking, and the blood leaked out the wounds on their hands.

Do not play pranks on teachers - especially illegal pranks.

The pink-clad monster had left them with the words, "As many times as it needs to sink in; about fifty."

"Well, at least she's gone," replied Hermione after she tried to open the door. "Looks like we'll be stuck in here for a while."

"Not if we can help it," said Fred, looking at George.

"You don't mean..." George stared in amazement. "Get them out." he snapped.

"Get what out?" asked Luna, who had been mostly silent, staring silently at the pictures of kittens on the wall. The cats seemed to be staring at her in a creepy way. Her attention immediately switched to the twins but they began speaking about things that made no sense to the girls. "Was that some kind of twin telepathy?"

They ignored her. Only some words were audible from their conversation.

"They're untested... What do you mean?... Oh, right, perfect."

"Have I mentioned how much I hate Umbridge?" Hermione whispered to Luna, who was laughing at the twins' concentrating faces.

"I'm sure everyone thinks the same. Except Malfoy," she replied absently, "I think both Umbridge and Draco's nastiness is caused by prolonged exposure to the Nargles, though... They both have the symptoms. Probably had some attatched to them during an unfortunate childhood accident." Luna shared her conspiracy theory with Hermione, while they waited at the boys to finish.

"We're finished!" yelled Fred, calling Hermione and Luna over to him. Between the two boys was a small gadget - it looked like a miniature muggle radio tower with a satellite dish on top. Inside the dish were four squares of chocolate, and Hermione was instantly skeptical.

"What's it supposed to do?" she asked.

"Well, if you eat a square of the chocolate - which we've magically altered - it transports you to the place we've set. It's not tested, but apart from that, we should be fine." said George. Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Oh, and there's different flavours of chocolate; dark, orange, milk and white. The orange's mine." he continued.

"Where is it set to?" asked Luna, snapping back to earth.

"Dumbledore's office - we know the exact coordinates for there. All we need to do is show these quills to him and Umbridge will be fired for sure."

"But she's from the ministry..." Hermione argued, but thought better of it, and took the dark chocolate. "Never mind. So when do we eat it?"

"When we activate it. It'll beep once you're ready, just put it in your mouth, 'kay?" said Fred. Everyone took their chocolate, and sure enough, an extremely loud beep echoed in the room. There was a flash of light, and then they were gone.

The four teenagers found themselves in the seventh floor corridor that the entrance Dumbledore's office was in, and they realised they were only a metre away from the gargoyle. It seemed... different. Hermione always thought that more painting lined the walls and that there was a statue of a knight over next to the window.

"Hey Hermione?" asked a dazed Fred, who staggered and fell onto George, who was just regaining his balance. "Isn't that Harry?" Sure enough, a boy was walking down the corridor with another boy - he had the same ink-black hair as Harry and a similar face, but the eyes were hazel instead of green and the lightning shaped scar was missing. The other boy was slightly taller and had longer hair. His features were more angular than the Harry lookalike. His cold, silver eyes stared at Hermione.

"No..." Luna replied before Hermione could, "They look similar, though. Too similar..."

A shocked gasp came from Hermione, before she whispered, "Er... Why do I get the feeling that we've travelled back in time?" Fred and George looked at her as if she was mad. "I think that's James Potter and Sirius Black..."

And suddenly everything became more complicated for all of them.

A:N - Short, but it's just to give a bit of background and all... Very, very cliché, I know. Especially the ending of that chapter.

(On a side note, this should have been up on fanfiction a long time before now. Stupid me forgot to back up all of my work before I installed Windows 7. Grrr.)