The Icha Icha Box

"You have a package, Kakashi," Gai said, a delighted grin very apparent in his tone of voice. Kakashi threw a kunai in the direction of his glee; he aimed to miss of course, but he could hear Gai prancing around delightedly to avoid it, chortling as the sharp weapon hit the door with a solid sound. "Get up! I want to see what's in it."

"You brought it all the way up here, so you might as well open it," Kakashi grumped and buried his face back in his pillow; he always tried to sleep for at least forty-eight hours straight after any mission, but Gai never seemed to respect his goals; as a matter of fact, the universe in general didn't allow him this attempt, giving him all those genin and missions and other people to deal with. His life, so unfair. "Why are you even in my apartment?" he sighed.

"That would be rude to open it like that, and it's not mine. And I live across the hallway from you!" Gai reminded him. "I'm your neighbour, Kakashi, and neighbours should watch out for each other. And bring up their packages. And test their milk for poison."

"You bribed the housing council to put us on the same block," Kakashi reminded him, voice muffled. "Also, I put up special wards just to keep you out."

"Friendships should never have obstructions," Gai said very seriously and Kakashi made faces in his pillow. "In any case, you've gotten a large package and I want to see what it is."

"I always have a large package," Kakashi said, throwing off his covers and rolling out of bed. Gai, standing at the door of his bedroom with his arms folded, regarded Kakashi with a mixture of amusement and a kind of prim censoriousness. "Very large, in my pants," Kakashi continued, just because he knew Gai hated things like that. He was almost as bad as Iruka-sensei, who would blush furiously at such talk, but would join in when the time seemed appropriate, voice low and conspiratorial. Whenever Kakashi happened to go for a drink in one of the dim shinobi-bars, he always tried to get a seat next to the chuunin, who didn't seemed very bothered to have Sharingan no Kakashi sitting close and spoke to him very levelly. Iruka-sensei was cute like that; at least, that's what most people said, anyway. Kakashi thought he was nice enough. A little bland for Kakashi's tastes... but nice. Smart, too.

"Open your package," Gai cut in before Kakashi could go into further detail about the size of what he was packing in his pants, and Kakashi rolled his eye again, adjusting the eye-patch he wore around his apartment in place of the forehead-protector. The handkerchief he wore to bed was askew, the knot at the back of his head almost undone but Gai was one of the few people who knew what he looked like underneath it, so it didn't matter too much if it slipped off.

"That's not a package," Kakashi pointed out and scratched the back of his head, mussing his hair even more. "That's a box."

It was indeed a box, and a very large one at that. It wasn't made of sturdy wood, either, but of cardboard, strips of brown tape bracing its sides. Kakashi saw the characters of his name written in a flourishing hand on a piece of parchment affixed to the top.

"Jiraiya," Kakashi murmured, knowing the way the Sannin formed his letters. The loss of that ebullient man flooded into Kakashi and he braced against the sudden rush of it, taking it and adding it the wall of hurt that lived inside him. Most people who thought they knew Hatake Kakashi assumed that he calmly accepted the deaths of his close ones and moved on. These were the people who hadn't the faintest clue about Kakashi's vigils at the silent memorial, the guilt he still carried around at being alive while Obito, earnest and true, lay buried underneath layers of Kakashi's memory. He did move on, of course; if he didn't, he would be living in inertia. But calm acceptance wasn't a part of his internal makeup, no matter how blasé he seemed on the outside. He raged; he threw everything at his mental wall, he spat on it.

And then, he read or watched some porn, calmed down and became a practical killing machine again.

Strange behaviour, but Kakashi wasn't interested in what most other people thought of him. Jiraiya had always treated him the way a scientist would treat some interesting and favourite experiment, and Kakashi had treated him like a second father, albeit a woman-crazy one, and now he and all his perversions were gone.

"Oh," Gai said slowly and his normally dazzling smile was nowhere to be found; he plucked a small envelope that had been affixed to the top of the box and handed it to Kakashi, who took it without a word. "I'll meet you at the training-field two hours after lunch, then."

"Alright." Kakashi stared at the envelope as Gai exited with the sort of quiet tact that the majority Konoha natives didn't believe he possessed, putting all the wards back in place. Kakashi made a mental note to cycle the chakra-key so that Gai couldn't break in for the next week or so; then, he cracked open the seal that had a little frog-symbol pressed into the red wax and read what Jiraiya had sent him.

KAKASHI!, it began and that was so Jiraiya that Kakashi had to smile. Ah, well. If you've gotten this, then I've fallen and I am on my way to see our ancestors. You'll miss me, I hope.

"Yes," Kakashi answered honestly. "And not because of the books, either."

And not just for my books, haha! Anyway. Take care of the froglet. He has legs and he's proven that he can jump, but he still has his tail. The world needs him and he needs the world. Take care of Konoha. Try to be happy.

"I am happy," Kakashi muttered.

I mean REALLY happy! Get yourself a girl with bing-bang-boom! Or... a guy, I think that's what you're into, right? I got you a book! I kept forgetting to give you, though. READ IT. LOVE IT. BE THE BOOK. And I found some really rare tapes in the capital too. Hey, watch for the guy with the long hair. I keep thinking to myself, 'Self, that man looks like someone you know,' but I can't put my finger on it!

Be well, my friend. BING. BANG. BOOM!

Kakashi put down the letter and breathed out for a moment, before reaching out and dragging the box near. He slit it open with the kunai that he tugged out of the door, and pulled out a book, laughing a little at the obnoxious title: Shinobi Guide to Gay Sex.

"Bing-bang-boom, huh?" he said with a small smile and opened it.

*

Kakashi didn't get a chance to inspect the tapes until three missions later; in the meantime, the television and VCR that he ordered from the capital arrived in Konoha, a little worse for the wear due to the long journey.

"How will you power it?" asked Ayoshi, the owner of the tiny repair store. He had been the one to assist Kakashi in ordering the devices, and he peered at the bulky boxes. "The chakra-lines won't support these things... ah, the tags here list the electrical frequencies." He gave Kakashi a very open smile. "Kakashi-san, I think you can generate the right amount."

Kakashi nodded. "I think I will give it a try," he had answered quite modestly; after some practice, and testing the levels with a small contraption that Ayoshi whipped up quite cleverly, he had managed to separate just a little bit of his electrically-charged chakra from himself and watched with no small amount of satisfaction as it powered his equipment. That was handy, he thought as he paid a young civilian to drag the machines home in a cart; that technique could be used in battle, probably as a time-delayed offensive move.

After all that, however, he had to wait until he returned from a joint mission with Suna shinobi and received two weeks off; as soon as he handed in his report, he had gone home, taken a quick shower and a wonderfully long, hot soak to get rid of all that pervasive sand. Then, he powered up his television, shoved in one of the tapes and crawled into bed.

Kakashi grinned a little at the corny music as the white letters of the title declared that this movie was called Naughty, Naughty Teacher. There were a few wriggling lines in the film, but these smoothed out to reveal an office; a large man with his sleeves rolled up to reveal arms covered with black hair was ostentatiously rifling through a pile of papers.

There was a quick knock at the door of the office and it opened to the man's bellow.

"Principal Kojima-san," the young man that stepped in greeted and Kakashi stared closely at him. Most of this person's hair was in a long braid, but more than a few wisps obscured his face as he stepped closer to the large desk. "Sir... about my contract--"

"Teruki-kun!" the principal interrupted his soft voice in a leering tone, pushing his papers away. "How are your classes?"

Teruki kept his head down; Kakashi could see the curve of his neck, how the collar of his black, old-fashioned shirt lay against it. "My classes? Well, after this week, I won't need to be here any more. But, please, Principal-san, may I be allowed to continue? I really need this job, you see."

"Ho," the principal hummed, leaning back in his chair and rubbing at his chin with one meaty hand. "I might be able to help you... but you'll have to do something for me."

"What can I do?" Teruki asked eagerly and Kakashi said out loud, "What, you don't know?" in a laughing, incredulous tone. The young teacher stepped even closer; the principal stood up, reached out and put one hand under the younger man's chin, tilting up his face before leaning in.

For a quick moment, Kakashi saw Teruki's eyes as they widened in surprise; they were brown, like honey, and Kakashi felt something curl in his gut.

"'Ruki-kun," the principal breathed, and kissed him; it wasn't a good kiss at all, too much tongue and that stupid flicking action that Kakashi always hated, but his eyes were fixed on Teruki as the principal began to undo the many little buttons of his shirt, smoothing back the material over narrow shoulders when he finally got them all unbuttoned. Teruki's body was a lot skinnier than it looked when covered underneath his loose clothing, but there was a strength in his arms and the muscles of his back that gave Kakashi great pause. He had the idea that if this Teruki wanted to throw the taller but pudgy principal across the room, he could. Kakashi tilted his head, narrowing his eye; Teruki looked very young.

"Sit on the desk, Ruki-kun," the principal crooned and Kakashi stifled the unusual urge to reach through the screen and break the man's spine at his neck. It was a very strong emotion and Kakashi frowned at himself; his frown melted away as he watched Teruki clamber on the table; the principal sat back, making encouraging sounds as Teruki spread his legs, bracing his feet on the arms of the principal's chair. He leaned back on his elbows, his long hair suddenly free of its constraint, falling around his shoulders and pooling like spilled ink on the surface of the principal's table.

The older man palmed Teruki's crotch, rubbing it perfunctorily before undoing the fastenings of his trousers. He tugged out Teruki's penis and slobbered all over the flaccid length with his lips and tongue. Teruki moaned slightly, and the sound of it caused Kakashi's own cock to twitch. He slipped a hand into his sleeping pants, curling his fingers around his thickening dick and staring at Teruki, who was writhing. He began pumping in earnest when the principal got Teruki to kneel on the floor and suck on his hard cock.

When the principal tugged out from between Teruki's lips, white come falling in streaks across the face that was still mostly hidden by that maddening, beautiful fall of hair, Kakashi's own orgasm hit him so hard that he groaned out in stutters, gaze hungrily fixed on Teruki's half-revealed face. Smooth cheek, long dark lashes and Kakashi wanted him right now, right now.

Impossible, of course, and Kakashi knew it. This was just a character in a porn movie and they would never meet. Besides, Kakashi knew that the best fantasies melted to disappointed puddles when revealed to the light of reality... but as he wiped his hand on his loose pants and rolled into his sheets, the image of Teruki's sweet brown eyes followed him down into sleep.

*

Kakashi was recording one of his favourite porn scenes when he saw it.

He had been standing in front of his television, all packed for a mission with Shikaku to the border of the Fire Country; it was going to be a long, boring expedition and Kakashi had decided that he'd rather be looking at Teruki's ass getting reamed than listen to the whining courtier they were escorting.

He had the Sharingan revealed and focused on his television screen, and was apologizing mentally to Obito for using it for such a smutty purpose, when he saw a halo bloom around Teruki's head: a lovely ribbon, orange near his head and fading to a soft burgundy the farther away it got; it was the shape and colour of chakra, and it was well-developed enough to belong to a trained shinobi.

Kakashi stared in disbelief at the barely apparent, shimmering band of colour. It was faint, so that meant that Teruki was pulling his chakra close to himself, but Kakashi could still read it. Here, that ripple meant that Teruki was distressed and unhappy, but that hard crease there spoke of Teruki's determination to see himself through whatever situation he was in. Kakashi frowned as he traced the edges of Teruki's chakra with his gaze. He felt his shock seep away into confusion and he actually knelt on the ground, nose almost touching the surface of the screen as he inspected the chakra, committing it to memory. Ah... now he realized why sometimes his tape developed annoying lines; Teruki's chakra would flare now and then, probably slipping from his control, and this obviously affected the recording mechanisms that had been used.

A sharp rapping sounded at his bedroom window and Kakashi cast a quick glance over his shoulder; one of the messenger-birds was glaring at him as it perched on the sill, probably carrying an annoyed message from Shikaku. He sighed, switched off his television and VCR and coaxed the unused chakra back to his body before exiting through his own window.

"I know, my deepest apologies, Bird-san." He tried to placate the animal with a stroke to its head, but it flew off in a huff as soon as he relieved it of its message. Hurry up, the unfurled bit of parchment commanded in Shikaku's sprawling hand. I haven't got all damned day.

"Patience is a virtue," Kakashi muttered as if Shikaku was scowling right in front of him and leaped to nearby guide-wires. One part of his mind was calculating ways to topple Shikaku's infamously blasé attitude, and another part was caught up in trying to figure out why the chakra he had seen around Teruki seemed so familiar.

All through the mission, his mind danced around the puzzle. He liked having things to figure out, to worry over like a dog with a bone; for certain, he knew he had seen Teruki's chakra before, probably in passing. But on the hundreds of mission he had been, on the thousands of individuals the Sharingan passed over, it was akin to searching for a pin in a haystack.

"Stop staring at me," Shikaku grumped at him one night over a fire, as the courtier was resting in his ridiculous tent; it took forever to put up and take down again, and Kakashi was very close to wrapping the infuriating man up in it and rolling him over a cliff; if only he wasn't a pet favourite of the Daimyo.

"I'm not staring at you," Kakashi told him absently. He had the his normal eye wide open, images falling brightly, rapidly in the dark of his left as the Sharingan helpfully retrieved all recollections of dark-haired shinobi and presented them for his inspection.

"You are staring," Shikaku informed him in a lazy drawl. "You're looking for something or someone. What or who?"

"I don't even know," Kakashi answered truthfully, not surprised at Shikaku's shrewd insight; he paused over a man he had fought near Sand once. No; he'd had long dark hair, that was true, but his eyes had been a cold black and his chakra wasn't a match. Kakashi suddenly wondered, what if he had fought Teruki... and killed him? He twitched his left eyelid, cutting off the information from the Sharingan and tightening his lips as a wave of discomfort rolled over him. He had watched Teruki too many times to count, so much so that he felt as if he knew him, the way he might know an old friend. At least, a friend he liked to watch having sex with other men. A friend who, sometimes, Kakashi just wanted to touch, to see if his skin felt as smooth as it looked. Kakashi sighed heavily and then smiled a little at Shikaku as he focused on his team-mate's wry look.

"You know, I've always thought you were insane, but I never thought I'd get constant confirmation of it," Shikaku said.

"At least I'm entertaining," Kakashi rejoined and grinned even more as Shikaku rolled his eyes. Just to make sure, Kakashi lifted his forehead-protector and peeked quickly at Shikaku's chakra. No; not a match, but Shikaku's expression became even more exasperated.

"Crazy," he mumbled and scowled.

*

Kakashi had to write up the mission report and hand it in, mainly because Shikaku claimed that he couldn't bother. He was standing in line at the mission room, his Sharingan just a little bit revealed so he could scan over the people in the room with him; there were only very few shinobi handing in their reports on this late-shift, and it was almost a habit now for Kakashi to just take a look around.... just in case. Tsunade-sama would have his head if she ever knew that he was doing that, wasting his chakra that way, but Kakashi was tempering the use as best as he could and was making sure to get enough rest and meals to counter the drain on his body.

"Yo," he said nonchalantly as he finally got to the head of the line and handed over the parchment he had written up. Thankfully, nowhere on the report spoke of them getting rid of the courtier in a gruesome manner, no matter how much Shikaku had threatened under his breath. Kakashi was gazing listlessly at a jounin who was arguing in a tired fashion with another desk-nin, knowing that neither of their chakra was the one he was looking for, when the report was taken out of his hand.

"Good night, and thank you for your hard work, Kakashi-sensei," a quiet voice greeted him and Kakashi slid his gaze towards the person without turning his head. Oh, it was only Iruka-sensei--

Kakashi stared.

He stared some more.

Kakashi's memory of Teruki's face, a faint vision hidden by the dark, shiny strands of his hair, seemed to hover over Iruka-sensei's fully-revealed features like a reluctant ghost. Not quite the same, for Teruki's face was somewhat narrower, and there was no scar over his nose; but the chakra... the chakra was identical.

"Is something wrong, Kakashi-sensei?" Iruka asked in concern, brown eyes locked with his and Kakashi wanted to kick himself. Here he was; here he was, right in front of Kakashi all the time and Kakashi hadn't even noticed.

"No," he managed to say in a low voice. "Nothing is wrong." He turned his heel and stalked out of the Mission Room, his mind reeling. He went home and prepared for bed, Teruki and Iruka-sensei's faces whirling in a dance created by the ever-vigilant Sharingan. How... how had Umino Iruka landed himself in such a position? Such amazing positions, Kakashi had to admit and bit his lip as he lay under his cool sheets.

Then he smiled, suddenly delighted. Iruka-sensei was the Naughty Teacher... and Kakashi had him within his grasp.

*

Kakashi stared at Iruka-sensei a lot; in the mission room, at the Memorial Stone, in meetings. His eye would land on Iruka and stay there, watching the way escaped wisps of his hair curled along the nape of his neck. Most times, Iruka would feel the weight of his gaze and would either stiffen but not look, or turn and send Kakashi a quick, confused glance. Kakashi couldn't stop looking at him, though; on top of that, it seemed as if he had tuned his ears to pick up any information about the other man. Of course, Naruto couldn't say enough good things about Iruka, but Kakashi heard other people speak of him as well. Some parents disliked him because they claimed he pushed their children too hard, or didn't push enough. Kakashi heard one woman complain in the market that she wanted her son to do another year under Iruka's tutelage, but her husband was disregarding the warnings of the sharp-tongued sensei. Her husband was an idiot, she opined loudly and Kakashi quietly agreed.

Kakashi wanted to... let him know. To let him understand Kakashi's deepening attraction and that he was completely aware of what Iruka had done and it didn't matter to him in the least. Well, fine, it mattered, but yo be completely fair, to know that this unassuming chuunin was capable of such sensual activities never failed to blow Kakashi's mind in the best of ways, and he wasn't ashamed to admit that he wanted Iruka in the most physical manner possible.

...and Kakashi actually liked him, too; which was unusual, because Kakashi either liked people physically or mentally. The individuals he got a chance to sleep with had a tendency to hit all his visual buttons, but they didn't usually hold his interest in idle conversation. And those persons that he liked to spend down-time with, he would never consider being physically intimate with them. Iruka fit both categories.

Interesting.

He stared at Iruka in the bar, constantly, until one night Iruka turned to him and gave him a wary smile as they sat side by side with a larger group of loud, drinking friends. Iruka opened his mouth to speak.

"I'd like to talk to you about something," Kakashi cut in before Iruka could say anything. "That is, if you're not too busy to indulge me, Iruka-sensei."

"It would be a pleasure to indulge you," Iruka responded after a few moments infused with surprise. Then he blushed at what he said. "I mean, sure, where would you--"

"How about at my apartment tomorrow evening?" Kakashi suggested quickly, clenching his free fist under the table so he wouldn't reach over and stroke the back of Iruka's hand. He took a sip of his drink as Iruka thought and then nodded, smiling slightly; he wasn't looking directly at Kakashi, though, but Kakashi still took his assent as a wonderful sign. "Good. Tomorrow it is, then," Kakashi confirmed, and Iruka nodded again.

He had that same bemused expression when he showed up at Kakashi's door the next day; he smiled, however, when Kakashi greeted him: "Thank you for taking the time to come, Iruka-sensei. I hope it isn't too much trouble?"

Kakashi's polite salutation seemed to put the sensei at ease.

"No, Kakashi-san, no trouble at all." Iruka's smile grew wider and Kakashi motioned at him to come inside. He had to restrain himself from staring at Iruka's ass as he bent to take off his sandals; resting both the footwear and his satchel on the little shelf near the door, he entered at Kakashi's bidding, looking curiously around the neat spaces. Kakashi hurriedly cleared away the scrolls that had laid claim his short table and watched, mouth drying out, as Iruka sat down with unconscious grace.

"Would you like some tea?" Kakashi asked after Iruka settled himself comfortably. He was standing in the kitchen, looking at the desired man seated so easily ensconced in Kakashi's home. He looked perfect there. Iruka was smiling and nodding at his question, and Kakashi couldn't tear his eyes away from his face for a moment too long. Finally, he exerted his will over his neck-muscles, turning around again to consider the tea-things.

Without a second thought, he took down the teacup set that he had brought over from the Hatake compound, the ones that had the delicate field-symbol of the clan inscribed in the white porcelain. He had needed to have them close even while he was slowly repairing his old family home and he was glad he had succumbed to that need, for suddenly, he wanted Iruka-sensei to know that he held him in high regard. Kakashi closed his eyes briefly; it was all mixed up in his head: Iruka's smile, the way he spoke, how he took care of people, the way he quietly moaned when someone ran a hand up his thigh... and it was all contributing to Kakashi's unexpected attack of nerves.

"Let me help," Iruka offered as Kakashi steeled himself and came back out with the tray.

Kakashi said as calmly as he could, I think I can manage." He set down the tea, sat and smiled at Iruka, happy at how easily Iruka smiled in return. "Now, sensei, shall we?"

They spoke of ordinary, everyday things, things that paled in comparison to what Kakashi had seen and done on missions... and yet he was content to listen to Iruka's smooth voice as he spoke of school and his classes. Iruka was a good conversationalist; he rotated the conversation now and again to focus on Kakashi, knowing when to stop if the topic ventured into classified territory.

When a long silence ensured, Kakashi broke it, feeling anticipation curl in his chest. "I'd like to show you something, if you don't mind." He wanted to show Iruka that he knew, and how much it turned him on. Iruka would probably take it with a polite, shocked reaction, but Kakashi couldn't stop himself now. If he didn't so something, anything, he would burst.

"No, of course not." Iruka murmured. Kakashi nodded once, and went to his bedroom. He rolled out his television and blinked as Iruka identified it with a surprised cry, "A television!"

Kakashi looked at him, how his face was alight. "Yes, it is." He escaped back to his room for his box and the VCR, needing a little breather from Iruka's irresistibility.

Iruka was continuing with his delighted chatter: "I saw these when I studied in the capital! Wonderful things, you know. Oh," he breathed when Kakashi came out with what he privately called his Icha Icha Box stacked atop the VCR. "Is that a--"

"VCR," Kakashi grunted and placed his load on the floor. He pushed the box to one side, feeling more than seeing how close Iruka stood to him, watching as he connected the VCR and television together. He stood up and stared at the wires, concentrating on his chakra.

"How are you going to get them to work?" Iruka asked and looked at Kakashi with an intense expression, eyes dark with concentration; Kakashi suddenly realized that was what made him such a good teacher... because he was interested in learning as well. "They have electrical wiring in the capital, but we only have chakra-lines to power the buildings here, and there are no outlets."

"I might be able to get around that," Kakashi told him and formed his seals, shaping the bright-blue light into a ball and forcing it into an even more compact area. Then, he separated it from himself and sent it over to the ends of wires, where it stayed obediently. He pressed a button on the television and it switched on.

Beside him, Iruka clapped happily as the screen lightened into the usual fuzz; Kakashi stared at him. It was such an innocent thing to do, endearing in its obvious lack of artifice and Kakashi wanted to fold his arms around Iruka's shoulders and kiss him until they both couldn't breathe.

"It'll only last for a few hours," Kakashi told him, wanting to do it once more just to get Iruka to clap like that again. "But it should be enough." He knelt again to go through his box, taking out some of the papers and books and frowning. Where did he put his tape? Did he leave it in the bedroom?

"Whose... things are these?" he heard Iruka ask slowly.

Kakashi paused for just the briefest of moments, then went on searching. "Jiraiya's," he answered when he thought he was able to speak without coming across as too forlorn; his voice sounded fairly steady to his own ears, in any case. "He bequeathed all these to me. Ideas for more Icha Icha novels, and some... research guides."

"Research," Iruka repeated faintly. "So... are you going to continue the series for Gama Sannin-sama, then?"

"Maybe." Kakashi smiled behind his mask and then finally located what he was searching for. "Ah, here it is."

There was a thick silence as Kakashi held the tape he was looking for in his palm and pushed it in the slot of the VCR. "I have many of these, but I watch this one a lot." He could feel Iruka's disbelief floating towards him, and he hastened to add, "Jiraiya was always on the road, so he picked up a lot of unusual things." He glanced up at Iruka once, but Iruka was staring at the screen wordlessly. Kakashi wrestled down a twinge of doubt and then pressed the play button.

The opening title informed them that they were about to watch the sexy exploits of Naughty, Naughty Sensei, and Kakashi mouthed the words of the script as the principal and the teacher spoke in his favourite scene.

"Oh god," Iruka-sensei said behind him and Kakashi's heart raced in his chest as he sat down properly, legs crossed. He wondered if Iruka could hear the pounding of his heart, or if he could smell Kakashi's rapid arousal. They watched as Teruki sucked on the principal's cock and Kakashi tried to breathe in a controlled fashion as the principal's groans melted into harsh gasps.

"Ah," Kakashi breathed out, feeling his own cock press insistently against the material of his trousers. "This part..." and he almost came, because ejaculate flickered across the face of the Iruka on the screen and if he just turned around and looked up at the real Iruka behind him, then the chuunin-sensei would know how much this affected him.

Then, Kakashi barely caught a glimpse of the stricken, almost beleaguered look on Iruka's face as he teleported out of sight.

Hmm. That... went badly.

*

"I need your advice," Kakashi said to Gai, who was in the middle of going through Kakashi's kitchen cupboards. Very quietly, in the middle of the night... while Kakashi was already in bed.

"My... advice," Gai said in flat disbelief and then beamed; Kakashi could practically see his teeth glinting in the dark. "Oh, Kakashi--"

"Spare me the speech," Kakashi snapped and curled up into a ball of disgruntled disappointment. "I'm your Esteemed Rival and you're honoured to be the Light of Counsel in my dark life. I get it."

"You take the fun out of everything," Gai complained, but he plopped down on the floor beside Kakashi's bed and began doing push-ups. "Let's hear your problems."

"Well... wait, are you going to train while I talk?"

"It's how I concentrate, you already know that," Gai shot back. "Go on."

"I like someone. A lot."

Gai fell on his face in faux-shock. "A real human being? An actual person?"

"And I might have scared them away," Kakashi continued firmly, ignoring Gai's jibes.

"Kakashi," Gai sighed as he rolled onto his back. "Did you come on too strong?"

Kakashi pouted into his pillow, hating that Gai knew him so well. "...maybe."

"That's your problem," Gai said and went smoothly into the pose of Upward Facing Bow, body curving like a strong bridge. "You overwhelm people--"

"I don't," Kakashi refuted. "You're not overwhelmed."

"--and you probably thought that if you just throw everything at them, as if you're in battle, they'll succumb to your charms." Gai leapt to his feet and stretched obnoxiously. "You're charming, but not as charming as you think."

"Thanks. You're a great friend," Kakashi said sourly.

"But this way, you can know if the person feels something for you as well; just be your normal self, try again, and if they're not responding then don't push it. A person should accept you just as thoroughly as you accept them."

Kakashi made faces in his pillow.

"You're making faces because I'm right. By the way, get more dried plums, I like them."

Kakashi threw a shuriken at him, aiming to miss and Gai danced through the window, chortling. He lay in his bed for a long time, though, thinking of what Gai had said.

*

Kakashi patiently waited outside Iruka-sensei's classroom the next day, preventing himself from storming in and explaining to Iruka that he really didn't mean to be so weird, that he thought that if Iruka could see how hot he found it, then he would understand that he saw Iruka as more than Teruki. The other classes were being let out and Kakashi took a deep breath and a chance, opening the door.

A little girl with wavy black hair who was seated nearest the exit, turned her head and blinked at him curiously. Before Kakashi could say anything, she sounded the alarm: "Iruka-sensei, there's a man at the door."

Well; nothing for it. Kakashi stepped inside properly, nodding at the students. His gaze landed on Iruka, who appeared fairly relaxed, but there was a faint, tense line between his dark eyebrows.

"Welcome, Hatake-san," Iruka said clearly and the class dissolved into excited whispers. Kakashi felt the children's energy whip up and lash towards him and he braced under all the attention; he was more uncomfortable with the way Iruka's lips tightened and he sought to make that tense line go away.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Iruka-sensei," he said, taking a tone of deep respect. Kakashi saw the children's eyes grow wide; they looked between him and Iruka rapidly, as if they were watching a game of kemari. "But I thought you had dismissed your class already. I would like to speak with you, if you don't mind."

"I was just about to," Iruka answered; his stance relaxed just a little bit even though his face still wore that taut mask. Kakashi felt an unreasonable hope tremble in him but he simply nodded at the class and said, "I will wait outside, sensei."

Kakashi leaned on the wall outside, his sharp ears picking up Iruka's dismissal of the children.

"Make sure that you do your best," the sensei said after he explained what he wanted to see from them. "Kakashi-san was at the top of his class when he was at your level, because he did all his homework."

Kakashi stifled a chuckle as the students raced past him; they threw him wide-eyed, almost wary glances but said nothing as they scurried off. Kakashi had no idea how Iruka dealt with so many variables at the same time; he wasn't sure if he could pay attention to that amount of individuals under four feet at once. He might lose one, or something.

He returned to the classroom and watched Iruka straightened the space, adjusting shelves and books with decisive movements. Kakashi stared as he erased the board; this man... he held the future of Konoha's fighting force in his hands. Kakashi had known that in the back of his mind, but to see him here, in the middle of the classroom...

"I didn't do all my homework, you know," Kakashi said slowly and stalked silently towards Iruka, watching the line of his shoulders go tight again. Kakashi prepared himself for a fight, but one he was actually willing to lose if Iruka really didn't want anything to do with him.

"Kakashi-san," Iruka began and Kakashi was right against him in a heartbeat. Iruka reacted instantly, shoving back and Kakashi grabbed his wrists before he could use his fists, pinning them to the board.

"Why did you run?" Kakashi asked, and groaned as Iruka tried to wrench himself free. "Stop that, I'm trying to tell you something--"

"Please don't bring up my... my mistakes." Iruka finally got one of his hands free and Kakashi had to step back from the elbow-strike that was aimed after his stomach. He jumped lightly onto the chair behind the wide teacher's desk, sitting on the arm with his feet on the seat; Iruka spun around to stare at him, his brown eyes almost wild.

"Just listen to me," Kakashi griped and then rolled his exposed eye. "Are you always this stubborn?"

"...yes?" Iruka leaned against the eraser-ledge as if he had just gone through ten missions back to back. He didn't look up at Kakashi and his voice was tired and ashamed as he murmured, "Kakashi, please--"

Kakashi really needed him to understand.. "Do you know how many times I've watched you? Many times, sensei. Ever since I got that series, I've had it nearly memorized. Every noise you made, every position you've twisted into." Kakashi stopped for a breather, and tilted his head, intrigued at the blush that was working its way up Iruka's neck. "I can't stop watching you. Unhealthy, I know, but at least the first step to curing yourself is admitting you have a problem. I'm not sure I want to be cured, though." There, it was out. Also, he just admitted that he was addicted to Iruka and didn't care to be fixed. So now Iruka would either try to escape... or maybe... maybe....

Iruka bit his lip but didn't move, face still averted. "Why? and.. h-how? How did you know it was me?"

Kakashi tapped the metallic plate of his slanted forehead-protector with one long pale finger and tried to look reassuring as Iruka's brown gaze slid up to fix on his. "I didn't really notice at first," he murmured. "And even Jiraiya said that you looked familiar, but he couldn't recall who you might be. One day, I watched with the Sharingan... to memorize it--"

"Memorize." Iruka's whisper was scandalized. "My goodness."

Kakashi ventured a closer step. "Yes. And I saw your chakra. It was very low, as if you were suppressing it, but it was there, and I've seen it before. I know what your chakra is like, Iruka, and after I got over my shock that the prim little chuunin-sensei that yelled at me so long ago had a tongue capable of more... sensual things, I watched you over and over again."

"What I did--"

Kakashi became firm, as if he was making a tactical call on a mission. "We've all done things that we are ashamed of. You're no less of a good teacher, a good shinobi, because of that."

He stepped even closer as Iruka shook his head. The sensei was trembling and Kakashi let his hands rest lightly on Iruka's strong forearms.

"I'm not that person," Iruka said in a strangled voice. "You've been watching a... a bad memory all this time."

"Have I?" Kakashi pressed right against him now, letting him feel the arousal that Kakashi was hiding quite well beneath his loose trousers. Iruka moaned breathlessly and Kakashi let his lips brush across his earlobe. "Have I? I don't think it's bad at all. And I've been watching a chuunin-sensei as well, you know. I might be addicted to porn, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the reality."

Iruka's head snapped up. He was breathing hard and Kakashi had to take a step back so he wouldn't start pulling at Iruka's collar and pressing his face into the curve of Iruka's neck. They stared at each other for a long time; Kakashi's gaze slid down to his mouth as Iruka caught his bottom lips between his teeth.

Kakashi strived for a more normal tone of voice. "Iruka, let me put it this way: I'm obsessed with the Naughty Teacher on the screen, yes. I'll admit that. But I prefer to have the real Naughty teacher and because I don't like to share, I'd like to have him all to myself. Do you understand now?"

He watched hungrily as Iruka nodded and swallowed hard.

Kakashi breathed out quietly before he continued. "Alright, we can try this again," he suggested. "Please come to my place again for tea this weekend, any time that's convenient... and this time, I would like to make our own movie, if that's alright with you. The Sharingan records everything, as you might know."

"I know," Iruka replied in a murmur and the sudden silk in his voice set Kakashi's body on fire. "And that's more than fine with me."

Kakashi clenched his fist so that the very fine tremor in his muscles would stop; he hated feeling this weak but at the same time, he didn't care. "Alright," he said, his throat tight. He spun on his heel and made for the exit. "By the way, Iruka-sensei," he threw over his shoulder just he was almost by the door. "Can you still do that thing with your teeth and the ribbon?"

"I can do it with two ribbons." Iruka's smile wavered a little as Kakashi looked at him in surprise, and then it grew stronger. His eyes were warm as he gazed at Kakashi. "I'll remember to show you."

Kakashi tipped his fingers away from his temple in a jaunty salute. "Make sure you do," he advised and then beat a hasty retreat before he gave in to the compulsion to kneel before Iruka-sensei right there at his desk and suck him off, out of sheer amazed delight.

*

Kakashi looked up from where he was cross-legged at his desk, gazing expectantly at the closed door of his apartment. He had already configured his chakra-wards so that they could be accessed by Iruka, who was standing right out on the corridor. Kakashi could sense his presence and he frowned at the sudden flare of Iruka's chakra; he was on his feet just as a tentative knock echoed through the quiet apartment.

"It's open," he called, knowing that Gai was listening across the hall and would be on his case for weeks about adjusting his wards for Iruka. "Please come in."

The handle turned; the door swung open and Kakashi stared.

In very formal clothing, hair trailing in a long braid over his shoulder, Teruki looked back at Kakashi with uncertainty.

"Kakashi-san," Teruki said softly, stepping inside and closing the door. He removed his sandals very slowly, setting them on them on the little shelf and Kakashi thought it was the most sensual thing he had ever seen someone do. "Is there something wrong?" Teruki said and Kakashi watched him as he approached. As soon as the other man was close enough, Kakashi reached out and touched the coil of hair very gently.

"Iruka," he murmured as he let his fingers weave through the strong strands. "Iruka," he repeated, unable to say more.

Iruka nodded, briefly losing that ultra-retreating manner he had adopted as Teruki. "I thought you might like it. As my... biggest fan," he concluded, a query in his small smile.

Kakashi nodded and Iruka's smile widened.

"I'd like you to touch me," Iruka whispered and Kakashi cupped his palm against the curve of his jaw. "Kakashi--"

Kakashi bent forward and claimed his warm mouth, slipping his tongue in between Iruka's willing lips. Iruka tilted his head and returned the kiss, smiling against his mouth as soft moans escaped, unbidden, from Kakashi. Pulling away, Kakashi stroked his thumb against Iruka's cheek. "You're beautiful this way," Kakashi told him and had the pleasure of watching Iruka's eyes widen. "But... can you remove it? Please?"

Iruka stared up at him for a few beats, seemingly uncomprehending of what Kakashi was really trying to say; Kakashi was about to repeat himself, when Iruka ended the jutsu and the puff of smoke revealed the sensei with his hair at its normal length, scar in place, Konoha-shinobi uniform apparent.

"Better?" Iruka asked, sliding his hands around Kakashi's waist and tugging him even closer. Their bodies fit so well together and Kakashi let this thought drop contentedly through his mind even as he tugged the band out of Iruka's hair, letting it fall free around his face.

"Yes," Kakashi answered. Simply, truthfully: "Much better."

*

In Kakashi's bedroom, Iruka lingered near the little table that was set next to the door, the fingers of one hand barely touching the chipped wooden surface; Kakashi had placed this on his To Do list, to take apart that table and re-polish it, but he simply hadn't found the time as yet. He watched Iruka gaze at the photographs that stood behind the squat candles.

"My mother," Kakashi said, standing close behind him when Iruka touched an ornate frame. Kakashi's mother was seated, her arms cradling a bundled, pale-haired baby as her dark eyes regarded the camera solemnly. Her elegant layers of clothing were finely detailed, and Kakashi knew he resembled her greatly; most people weren't aware of that. His hair was an unmistakable give-away of his Hatake heritage, of course. He was often and rightly taken for his father because of it, but that was about the only direct resemblance. "I don't have a photo of my father."

"Why not?" Iruka asked. Kakashi placed his chin on Iruka's shoulder and inhaled his scent.

"I burned them all when he died, in a fit of childish anger," Kakashi explained. "One of my deepest regrets."

"Oh." Iruka looked closely at the photo of a younger Kakashi with Minato-sensei, Obito and Rin and then paused for a long time over the one with Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke. When he finally turned around, Kakashi had pulled down his mask; Iruka blinked at his bared proximity and then smiled.

"Better?" Kakashi asked, raising one eyebrow.

"Better," Iruka answered. "You look like your mother. Thank you for... sharing that with me."

Kakashi shrugged. "I wanted you to know something about me, the way I know something about you. Not that I would tell anyone else about it," he went on. "The tapes, I mean. I would never use it against you and I'll destroy them if you want--"

"You're rambling," Iruka pointed out and he was kissing Kakashi, hard. "I didn't know you could ramble," he murmured as they stumbled towards the bed. "You always seem so--"

They landed on the mattress, bouncing slightly and Iruka tugged down the material of the mask a little more, biting the exposed line of Kakashi's neck.

"So what?" Kakashi asked as their hands worked feverishly to remove the barrier of clothing, colliding with each other. Kakashi hissed as Iruka's fingers finally found skin, stroking warmly against the flat planes of his stomach.

"So... collected."

Iruka drew back and sat up, looking down at Kakashi contemplatively. His jacket was already on a nearby chair and so was his forehead protector; he reached down and grasped the end of his hardy black shirt, dragging it up over his head and revealing miles of tantalizing tan skin. Kakashi couldn't resist: he placed his hands on Iruka's waist and ran them up Iruka's sides until his thumbs pressed against the pebbled circles of Iruka's nipples, flicking at them almost playfully. Iruka leaned back down so that Kakashi's hands could travel further up, and by the time Kakashi's hands tangled in his hair, Iruka's lips met his once more. Iruka's body moved slowly against him, arching and writhing until Kakashi was a little out of his mind from the feel of their hard cocks dragging against each other through the material of their trousers.

He refused to relinquish Iruka's mouth as they sought to get rid of the rest of their clothing and by the time they were fully nude, Iruka was laughing breathlessly.

"Stay there, please," Kakashi murmured when Iruka tried to roll from atop him. Iruka remained where he was, watching Kakashi reach into the drawer of his lone night-table to pull out a half-empty tub of ointment. He twisted open the cover and raised his eyebrows when Iruka dipped two of his own fingers inside and came away with a good dollop of the viscous substance.

"Maybe you should move that." Iruka indicated with his chin at the forehead-protector that still shielded the Sharingan. "That is... if you want to remember this movie."

Kakashi couldn't tear it off his head fast enough.

"Watch," Iruka commanded quietly and slipped his slick fingers between his legs; he let out quiet moans as his hand moved slowly, and Kakashi gazed at the way he turned his wrist, opening himself up, before glancing up to watch the way Iruka's eyes were half-lidded, how his cheeks flushed. Kakashi couldn't quite see how deep his fingers were going, but that was fine. It was almost better this way, to get the tantalizing idea of it.

He could feel the Sharingan rotate as it grasped every second and stored it for his mind to revisit: he kept his eyes locked on Iruka's every move, from when he finally grasped Kakashi's cock and positioned it, to Iruka sitting up a little then settling back down very slowly. He would have to physically preserve the sensation of Iruka's tight body swallowing his, because the Sharingan was visually-based and no help there at all.

He groaned as Iruka rocked slowly in his lap. In the next moment, he tightened this lips against another groan, for this one would escape laced with discomfort; the Sharingan had begun to tug away too much of his chakra, and a bright line of pain shot from the eye to the middle of his head. Iruka stopped, pressed his palm over Kakashi's eye and shut it down.

"What--" Kakashi started and breathed out laboriously through his nose as Iruka went right back to driving him crazy, rising up and down.

"It's draining you. Watch me," Iruka told him hoarsely, "with your other eye."

Kakashi stared at him, entranced by the difference between this man moving on top of him and the sweet sensei that lived in the daylight. He moved with Iruka, wrapping his arms around his waist and thrusting up into his slick warmth.

His hands suddenly gripped Kakashi's shoulders, blunt nails digging into the muscle there as Iruka leaned forward, mouth open as he gasped almost silently; his rapid breaths fanned out over Kakashi's lips and Kakashi surged up to kiss him.

Iruka was a biter when he came, and Kakashi liked that. Unfortunately or fortunately, he bit Kakashi's bottom lip as he shook and grunted, the warmth of his come spattering on Kakashi's stomach. Kakashi was about to make some complaint, but Iruka took a deep, shuddering breath, soothed the bite with a slow swipe of his tongue and clenched around Kakashi; it was as if he wrested the orgasm right out of Kakashi, who felt his body lock up and seemingly crumble completely out of his control.

He lay there for a long moment, breathing hard and hardly daring to remove his gaze from Iruka's face. Wisps of hair stuck damply to Iruka's cheeks and he stared back down at Kakashi. Then, he began to blush and Kakashi smiled, the strange spell that he had been under broken for now at the sight of Iruka's reddening cheeks.

"Um--" Iruka made a face as Kakashi slipped from out of him. "Your bathroom?"

"Let me." Kakashi rolled them both over and sat back between Iruka's sprawled legs for a long moment, before sliding reluctantly off the bed and heading to get a wash-cloth. He wiped himself down with some warm water first and then came back to hand over another cloth to Iruka, watching as he wiped between his thighs.

His spent cock twitched in interest at this, but Kakashi had to content himself with clambering back into bed; thankfully, Iruka didn't seem to mind that Kakashi flung an arm and a leg over him.

"The ribbons," he heard Iruka say sleepily. "I didn't get to show you that thing I can do with them."

"Tomorrow," Kakashi groaned and tried to snuggle even closer.

"Tomorrow?" Iruka sounded pretty perky about that particular plan. "Alright, that's fine."

"Did I make a mistake by dating an ex-pornstar?" Kakashi wondered out loud and then wanted to kick himself when Iruka stiffened in his embrace. Then, Iruka relaxed completely; his chuckle was a little evil as it twisted into the coolness of the night.

"Well," he murmured, "we do have a lot of movies to make."

fin

Epilogue

Gai crept into Kakashi's place, slipping easily through the special wards that Kakashi always claimed he had put up. Gai stopped near the tiny stove, clenched his fist and swore silently that if his friend hadn't bought those dried plums, he would leap onto his bed and strike the pose of Wrathful Hungry Beast of Konoha.

He dropped his fist and tiptoed over to the cupboards, opening one as silently as he could, but it still creaked. Gai froze, frowning and then snapped his head to the side as three shuriken buried themselves into the wooden surface near his head.

Those shuriken were not aimed to miss.

Gai dived for the little switch on the wall, feeding some chakra into it so that the overhead lights would flood the space with light. He whirled towards his attacker, leaping into the air and spinning to deliver a mighty roundhouse kick--!

He caught a glimpse of Iruka-sensei's determined face and hurriedly changed his trajectory mid-air, slamming his foot into the wall beside Iruka's head and flipping lightly back.

"Iruka-sensei?!" he said in surprise. Iruka blinked at him, and hid the array of weapons he held behind his back.

"What are you doing here?" they asked each other in the same incredulous tone.

"I'm checking Kakashi's cupboards for intruders," Gai told him quickly and then eyed Iruka's state of undress. He was dressed in a pair of sleep-pants and nothing else, his hair loose around his head. "What are you checking for?"

"He's checking for intruders in my bed," Kakashi called lazily from his bedroom.

"That's so honourable of you, Iruka-sensei," Gai gushed. "We all need good friends to help us... wait." He narrowed his eyes at Iruka's blush. "Iruka-sensei! You're... you're Kakashi's actual person!"

"...what?" Iruka was looking at him in that way that Neji did sometimes, as if Gai had descended to the earth in blaze of insanity.

"Never mind." He gave Iruka a blinding grin. "So... how did you two get together?!"

Kakashi was out of his bedroom in a flash, hustling Gai towards the exit; he was just as undressed as Iruka, even though he had his face covered, and Gai boggled at the thought of the two of them in bed together. He didn't know whether to blush or burst into delighted tears. "Get out," Kakashi said between his teeth.

"Debrief me later or I make your life a living hell," Gai bartered.

"More than you do already?" Kakashi challenged and then rolled his eye at Gai's pointed look. "Fine," he hissed and slammed the door. Gai took a deep breath of fresh dawn air and stretched, sauntering back to his own apartment. Ah, love.

He still wanted some dried plums, though.

fin fin!