Hello there. I honestly have no idea where this idea came from. I was bored and randomly started typing away until I just couldn't stop! D:

Kukai: Cool. I'm glad you were thinking about me that much. ;D

Uhhh, sure. Anywho! Tell me whatcha think. I think this could go far, although I have no idea where it's going yet. I'd an experiment really. I want to see what my own mind can create without countless hours sitting and thinking about. It should be interesting. :3 Anyways, do the disclaimer so I don't get sued.

Kukai: Elena doesn't own Shugo Chara!!! :D

Don't be so happy about it! D:

Five Years Later

Chapter 1: Goodbye

Utau looked across the table at Kukai. They were sitting together quietly. No one saying a word. They both knew what would be said but neither of them wanted to hear the words for themselves.

Utau had called him here, to the ramen shop. Their ramen shop, as she always thought of it. She could see the hurt in his eyes. He knew what was coming.

She took a deep breathe before looking at him hard. "Look, I know it's not what we want to hear but…" She trailed off. She really didn't know how to say it. The look on his face was flat. Expressionless the moment she had begun to talk.

Oh god, she didn't want to hurt him. She didn't want to see his lips curved down in a frown. She didn't want to see his eyes filled with hurt. She just didn't want to do this. These thoughts made her angry. She knew it had to be done. There shouldn't have been any hesitation to start with.

"Look, I love you." She said quietly. At this his head shot up, an almost angry look on his face.

"Utau! We both know what you came here to say so just say it! Don't say things that only make it hurt that much more!" He said angrily.

Utau flinched at his words before looking down. "We can't be together anymore." She mumbled. She peeked up at him and he sat still, not moving. But if you looked hard enough, you could see the sadness in his eyes that he'd try to hide from everyone.

"Look, we both knew all along that this wasn't going to work! We knew from the start how this would end. We knew we were destined to say goodbye. Don't make this worse then it has to be." She looked down, defeated. She didn't want to do this. "I don't want you to hate me. I want our memories to be remembered with a smile."

She sighed. He still wasn't saying anything. This worried her. Normally she couldn't get him to shut up. "You know I don't want to hurt you." She said, looking at her lap and watching as the tears splashed onto her pants.

"We knew that nothing would keep us together yet we tried anyway. I love you enough to let you go. As much as we wanted this, there was nothing we could do to make it right!" She said looking up at him fiercely.

He finally seemed to be affected by her words. He looked at her sympathetically, a look she hated, before reaching over and wiping a tear away. "Don't cry. I-I know." He said, his voice a bit thick.

She looked at her hands which were balled up into fists in her lap. "We've…tried. There's no where left for us to go though. They're looking for me…" She said as she trailed off.

He nodded is head. "I'm sorry." He said looking down. She frowned. "Why are you sorry?"

"I'm sorry for making you feel this way, knowing we can't be together…"

She smiled weakly. "Don't be sorry. There's nothing you could've done to stop me from loving you…"

He looked at her, sadness in his eyes. He held out a hand to her, as if he meant to put his hand on her cheek, but put it down on the table in front of him.

She wanted to tell him to wait for her. To wait until she somehow found a way out. She wanted to tell him to never love another as long as he lived but she knew she couldn't. It wasn't fair to him. She knew that although she may never truly move on, she wanted him to.

"Promise me something…" She said, looking down and closing her eyes.

"Anything." He said quietly.

"Find someone else. Don't wait for me…" Without hearing his answer she got up and gave him one last, longing look. The look on his face was so anguished though that she suddenly wished she hadn't. She didn't want to remember him this way. She turned around and left the ramen shop. As soon as she was outside and out of sight of him she began to run. She needed to get away faster. As she ran, tears ran down her face as well.

She tried to remember him in that very same ramen shop. She tried to remember him happy and smiling. She didn't want that image of him last in her mind forever.

The more she ran, the more she realized that she couldn't run away from everything. She could run away from him as long as she lived, but she couldn't escape the thoughts, the memories, or the pain.

She ran into an ally and sat down against the wall, curling into a ball. She put her head down against her knees and just sobbed. She sobbed long and hard. Why had everything always had to be so hard! It wasn't fair. First her father left her, then her mother betrayed her, and Ikuto had always had his own problems to deal with. And now she had to leave Kukai.

As she cried she was afraid after awhile that the tears wouldn't stop. They kept coming and she thought that she'd run out after awhile. Of course, she didn't, but the thought that maybe she'd stop soon was comforting. It wasn't long before she could hear them coming into the ally. She was still crying as they picked her up and put her into a black car. She continued to sob as the car pulled away, headed for her hell, her home, and her step father. She was headed for Easter.

***Five Years Later***

A nineteen year old blonde walked down the street, her destination the recording studio. It was a normal routine of hers lately. She always seemed to have to do there. She didn't like to take a car though. She liked walking. The fresh air made her feel better. Less trapped. At times she wished she had company. She'd always miss the days that she had had her little shugo chara to help her.

But then one day, they disappeared. She must not have believed in them enough… It didn't really matter though. Others were useless. You couldn't rely on anyone but yourself in this world. No one could take care of your better then, well, you.

She walked through the door of the studio and Sanjou ran over to her. "Ok, Utau! This is an important song. You need to get it just right! It'll make the company millions! And hopefully with new technologies it'll bring out the heart's eggs of kids everywhere!" She said happily. Utau just rolled her eyes. She could really care less about that.

She didn't even know what she cared about anymore. She had no personal reasons to be in the company besides not having a choice. Her beloved step father threatened to hurt her mother if she didn't do as he said.

Like anything had ever stopped him from hurting her anyway.

She knew her brother was long gone. He had run away from Easter long ago and hadn't seen him since. She didn't know where he went but she knew he had abandoned her. He was just like their father. She knew he wasn't coming back for her and she didn't care. He didn't care what happened to her, so why should she care about him?

When she was finished recording she came out of the studio and Sanjou cheered. "We will definitely find the Embryo soon!"

"Whatever." She stated tonelessly and walked out the door. She was tired and ready to go home.

When she got home she ignored her mother in the kitchen. She was crying again. That was one thing Utau couldn't stand. Her mother cried all the time. It was because she was weak. Utau would never be weak like that.

She went up into her room and looked around. The place was a mess. She hadn't cleaned up in a long time. She decided to tidy up a bit. Maybe get rid of some old things. She turned on the TV for some background noise and started to work.

She didn't get very far before she heard a familiar name on the screen. "So Kukai Souma, what's it feel like to be one of the youngest players to ever be on Japan's professional soccer team!?" A reporter asked excitedly.

Utau's head whipped up towards the screen. Standing next to the reporter was a young brunette. He was probably about her age. He was extremely good looking with a confident smile on his lips. He was much older and much more built then the Kukai she had known.

"Well, it's pretty exciting. I've always dreamed of this as a kid." He said, trying no to brag. She had to smiled at his "modesty". She knew on the inside he was bursting with pride.

She continued to watch the interview as she sat down at her desk. She hadn't thought about Kukai in so long. Of course she hadn't dreamt of dating anyone in the past five years, she wondered if he had…

Finally, as if on queue, the question she wanted to hear popped up.

"So Kukai, tell me what all the young ladies have been dying to know! Any love interests??" He asked, raising his eyebrows as if he was the one who really wanted to know.

Kukai frowned for a moment, as if he were thinking seriously. "Well, there is a girl…" He began.

"Really?! Who is she? What's her name? What do you like about her?" He shot out quickly. Kukai just scratched the back of his head.

"I-I don't know. I can't really tell you much about her. I don't even think she knows I'm talking about her right now." He said with a laugh. The reporter nodded understandingly and then went on to more questions.

Utau didn't realize she was holding her breath and when she did she let it out. So he had moved on…

She looked away from the TV. Of course he had. That was what she asked of him, wasn't it? It was what she had wanted…

So why did she feel like something in her chest was crumbling?

She decided to turn off the TV since she had had enough pain for one afternoon and continued to clean her room.

Just then something fell off her desk and she looked down at it with wide eyes that were slowly filling with tears.

She stared down at the picture on the floor. It was her and Kukai. They were in their ramen shop smiling and laughing. She hadn't been that happy in a long time. She picked up the picture slowly and looked at it for a moment before throwing it back into the pile of papers on her desk where she couldn't see it.

She wiped away her tears and laughed bitterly. "I said I wasn't going to be like her…" She said slowly. Then she got into her bed and closed her eyes, begging for sleep to relieve her of her burdens. To be taken away from it all for just a few hours.

That was until she woke with a start when her step father came home. He was down stairs yelling at her mother. She could hear something glass break and she hoped it wasn't over her mother's head again. Last time it took hours getting all the glass out.

When the noise stopped and she heard the front door slam she walked down stairs to see her mother crumpled in the corner.

She had a new black eye that went well with the other one. The vase that had broken was thankfully all over the floor and not in her skin at all. She took her mother's arm and lifted her off the floor. She brought her into the living room and sat her on the couch.

"Mom? Mom! Are you ok? He's gone. I'm gonna clean up the glass. You want something? Water? A wet cloth?" She asked her the usual questions and then brought her both when her mother stared straight ahead without answering.

She cleaned up the mess and looked around with a sigh. Everything was back to the way it was before. No one would ever know. Utau had learned long ago that it was best to keep out of such arguments. At least this way her mother was the only one hurt and someone, namely her, was there to clean up afterwards. When both of them were beat, it helped no one.

She went back up to her room and looked in her mirror. She wondered how much more of this life she could take…

Rawr! First chapter. Quite fun to write. :3 Review please.