July 26, 2014 - Currently my plan is to finish up my fics, concentrating on one at a time, interspersing chapters here and there of the other long one, also hopefully doing the last chapters of the few fics that have only a chapter or so left. I seem to be in a good place right now for writing (I hope not to be jinxing myself). I'm working mostly on You've Got Mail primarily right now, but again, I am not forsaking the others.

Some Re-edits to this on June 2, 2014 also - writing while medicated again... argh... (plus I was way off script. Next chapter will get things back on track)

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Politics as Usual

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Chapter 36

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My phone rang and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Seeing it was Richard, I smiled and hit the answer button.

"Well, I heard it ring, so it sounds like you're close to home."

"I didn't mean to take so long, Richard," I replied, watching my breath mist in the near freezing air, "I was walking Mango and then Vic called about tomorrow and then I spoke with Ken and now I'm just sitting on the bench by the gate, thinking."

"Just making sure you were okay. Shall I join you outside or do you need time alone?"

"Thank you but no; I think I'll just be alone with my thoughts and be in in a bit."

"Whatever you need." His tone was kind, understanding. Exactly what I needed.

My mind shifted to the fact that Richard was so supportive and considerate these last few weeks at a time I really needed him, in far contrast to when he didn't know the truth about why I was with the President, why I was keeping things from him. Was it because our reconciliation was so new that he had wouldn't take a leap of faith with me? Could I trust him to not act that way in the future if a situation like that came up? Then again, when would or how could a similar situation occur?

Between our reestablishing ourselves as a couple and building trust, and the fact that such and unusual scenario was unlikely, I could have faith in him.

Mango bumped into me, or rather body-slammed into me, reminding me while I was bundled up, he was not and his short fur was not enough coverage for sitting out and pondering ones future.

"If you wouldn't tear at your clothes you'd get to wear a coat and be warm," I said to him and he just cocked his head. I'd tried all sorts of doggie coats; they were always destroyed whether while being worn or after. I think they embarrassed him. Guess he'd rather just stand there and shiver.

I stood up and stretched, looking up into another starless sky. Maybe it was time to let Richard close, to feel connected completely, that it was all right to have some warm and brightness in my life.

Richard had outdone himself; dinner was ready, he'd made a nice pasta primavera and put together a salad and even warmed rolls. The wine was opened and decanted and the table was set. The kitchen was even already straightened up.

"Wow, thank you." I stepped over to him and gave him a lingering kiss on the lips.

"Thank you," he said with a wink, "and you're very welcome. If it's too early to eat-"

I shushed him with a hug. If I'd have kissed him again I would have been lost in everything. I felt the prick of tears in my eyes. "Dinner now sounds wonderful."

"Great. Is there anything I can get you?"

There was already water on the table, salt and pepper, salad dressing and butter. Every detail and all the things I would want.

"Everything looks perfect."

He guided me toward my seat and then pulled out my chair and seated me, looking into my eyes. I knew he wanted a kiss. I did too. And so much more. The tension was increasing and I didn't know if I should let it increase, but I knew that I wanted it to. I gave a slight nod. Richard leaned down and took my hand as we kissed, threading our fingers. He savored me, tasted me as I opened for him, sighing then letting out a small moan. It was so incredible. Richard answered with a growl of appreciation and then deepened the kiss for only a few moments and then reined the kiss back in. A reminder of the passion we share when we allow it.

He looked into my eyes as he brought my hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. It was all so amazing and I was sold. And overwhelmed.

Nerves unchecked, I blurted out, "We better eat. Did you talk to Vic? We're expected tomorrow and-"

He touched my chin. "I did talk to Vic." Sensing my tension, his voice became even more soothing. "Try to relax, okay Kory? I didn't mean to push. No pressure. If you need more time to yourself, that's fine. I just thought I'd keep busy and I knew we could use a nice meal." He step back and sat down. "Plus I enjoy just sitting and having a meal with you."

"Thank you. I enjoy being with you too. I don't know how good company I'll be."

"I'm not worried about that. I just like being around you."

I was surprised that I was up to talking. It felt good to. There seemed to be large gaps in what we didn't talk about, on things that perhaps we should have. But these things could be addressed at other times. It was nice keeping things light and almost flirty.

We avoided the subject of the show, not to say that I wasn't concerned about what Dick and Barbara had discussed, good or bad. In my gut it was bad, at least for them. And then my emotions about Ken. And the viewing the next day at the compound and then the lying in State and then the State Funeral and my eulogy.

It was nice breaking out of my melancholy, to relax, discussing the lighter topic of the holidays and a bit on the book tour. Plans formed. Richard had selected a very nice wine and I had enjoyed two glasses during our meal. I was happy and feeling like myself for the first time in months. It wasn't because of the alcohol, but the wine allowed me to drop my guard and feel free of grief for just these few hours without guilt.

"As I recall, I have a few bottles of this wine, can we open another?" I asked Richard as we were finishing up our meal.

"More like a case from what I saw downstairs, and I'm way ahead of you. I have two more bottles in the fridge." He grinned and got up and to retrieve another bottle of the Pinot.

"That was a great trip we took to Napa. Maybe that's what we should do on our trip, go to Wine Country."

"Trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me?"

I snap my fingers in the 'ah darn' gesture. "You've figured out my plan!"

"But as for trips, California would be fun, but not our first trip if that's okay. I've just left and why don't we go to somewhere you've never gone?"

"That leaves a lot of places. Instead, let's go somewhere you've never gone but always wanted to." I paused, knowing how well traveled he was, "Or at least, let's plan to go somewhere you've never gone with, well-"

His expression told me he understood, that he knew I wanted to go somewhere he'd never been with Barbara. I hope I hadn't ruined the moment and as he handed me my nearly full glass of wine I nearly downed half of it. He cocked a brow, but I'm sure he knew why.

"Would you like to go abroad?"

"No, well... where ever you want to go is fine." I wanted to be with Richard. It really didn't matter. I hadn't traveled much so anywhere would be nice.

"Somewhere warm or cold?"

"Your choice. Plus I've spent years fantasizing about traveling with you... oops, maybe I shouldn't have said that."

His smile grew wide. "Really now... do tell."

I flushed red. "Maybe I thought about it once or twice that it would be nice."

"Once or twice, huh?" He paused and then motioned to my plate. "Finished?"

He poured me yet another glass of wine and then cleared our dishes. I drank my glass and poured another as I heard him load the dishes into the dishwasher. I needed liquid courage and all that. In for a penny, in for a pound, etc, etc.

He returned to the table and covered my hand with his as he sat down next to me. "As I've said before, I've thought about you."

"I believe I had said, 'When I'm alone, I've thought about you', and your words were, "I've thought of you, even when I'm not alone.'"

He had the decency to blush and then he cleared his throat. "Well, yes, I did. I also didn't just fantasize about you, but wondered what it would have been like, what our life would have been like; and that included things like taking you away somewhere romantic, doing all the things we should have done if we'd stayed together."

I pushed away the thought that he was the one who decided to break up with me; I didn't want to bring down my mood, or worse yet say something about it and ruin our evening. I smiled and hummed in agreement, closing my eyes as I envisioned the two of us together.

I was definitely having romantic thoughts. Thoughts about romantic getaways in a month or more, or was there going to be a romantic night tonight?

"What are you thinking about?"

I blinked my eyes open. "That we should take this conversation somewhere more comfortable."

His eyebrows went up in surprise.

I laughed in response, shaking my head a bit. "Let's sit by the fireplace and talk."

"The one in your room?" His voice was half-joking, but the sentiment was hopeful.

"How about the one that is already lit down here?"

We brought our wineglasses and settled on a loveseat by the fire, my dog already stretched out right in front of the hearth enjoying the warmth. I set my glass down on the side table and so did Richard. He put his arm around me and I relaxed into him.

"Should we go somewhere warm or cold?"

"After all this cold and dreariness lately, all this sadness, let's go somewhere warm."

"Agreed." He replied pulling me closer and rubbing my arm a bit as if to warm me up then and there. "Yup warm is good, because I somehow have never seen you in a bikini-"

"I'm a little old for a bikini." I was lying, fishing for compliments.

"Hardly." He paused, a playful smile playing on his lips and then crossed his arms. "No bikini, no trip." He then gave a little shrug. "Actually, no bikini sounds nice."

Uh-oh. "No, don't even think about nude beaches."

"Damn." He paused for a moment. "I guess a one-piece is okay then, if that one piece is just the bottoms."

"Richard!" I gave him a gentle push but then he pulled me closer and I snuggled into his side, not resisting the urge to nuzzle into his neck.

He cleared his throat, I was getting to him. "But back to the bikini; I'm willing to beg because I have no doubt how amazing you'd look."

"I will consider it."

"Good."

"And as for places?"

"I'm sure we'll find something." He paused for a moment, considering. "I never took her, well, to any of my father's homes. He has a wonderful island off of Costa Rica."

He looked a bit sheepish. Interesting. And good. And bad as far as the flirting was going because it did bring down the moment because how was one to react to that? How detached was he from Barbara and what did it mean? More importantly, what did it matter to me.

Not able to compute, I changed the subject. "If I didn't say it before, dinner was wonderful and it was so nice of you to take care of it, to take care of me. Thank you."

He smiled and kissed my temple. "Anything for you."

There was conviction in his voice. I leaned further into him. It felt so nice to be close. I knew I had said we should wait but as we talked about a vacation together just weeks away, a romantic vacation as a couple, why was I waiting? He was being so kind, so supportive. Maybe it was only a short interval of time but before the situation had been so unusual and I now felt I could trust him, trust us now. And if it didn't work, I could survive. I had before. I needed him now, physically, to feel close, alive, free of the sadness, loss, and pain of these last weeks.

Denying myself wasn't normal; it was martyrdom. It had no purpose. It might drive Richard away. My grief was not clouding my judgment, and if it was, it was not going to do it completely. I needed him, and he needed me. He was being patient, and I loved him for it, but there was so much I could ask of him, or of myself.

I was still at odds with how far things should go, but in those moments of looking at him, feeling his heated gaze on me, I only knew I'd love another kiss.

"Kory?"

"Richard?"

I leaned in and initiated the kiss. Gentle at first, things turned more sensual as I was gradually repositioned to my back as Richard settled over me. Things remained at that intensity, going no further: reconnecting, reveling, bonding.

It was amazing. It felt safe.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Richard."

He pushed an errant strand of hair back from my face and searched my eyes. "Too much?"

I shook my head. "No." I bit my lip. "But there are more comfortable places to... kiss."

He touched my cheek. "Are you sure? We don't have to-"

"You are right, we do not. But why? I know I have not been fair, taking all this time to decide, the push and pull, but I want to be close to you... I just wish-

"Kory, I'll wait if you want to or I'm here if you don't. It's your decision, I won't push either way."

"Thank you Richard."

To Be Continued...

Most of the next chapter is written but this was a good cut off point, and no promises when the next will go up. I hate being this sick guys, it utterly sucks.