Author's Note: First, and most obvious, I must thank Wepdiggy for letting me play with his awesome creation. This character he came up with has provided me, and I think you, with a lot of amusement since he first debuted her. I'm honored that he's letting me try my own hand at crafting a story about this adorable, but crazy Sarah. This will be the longest AP Sarah story yet, I think, but I hope you stick with me throughout the whole ride. I think it'll be a hell of a trip.

Thanks and acknowledgments must go out to Wepdiggy, ne71, and Liam2 who have all contributed to the mythos of this character and franchise (yeah, this is toally a franchise). I'm simply taking what they have built and adding to it, while hoping not to embarrass myself in the process. Thanks, guys!

Oh, and for those of you wondering about when the latest chapter of DA will come out, all I can say is...soon. The premiere has really harshed my writing buzz, but I think with AP Sarah, I just might be able to get over my malaise. We shall see. Enjoy!

Chuck took a deep breath. He had to steel himself for what he was about to do. The next few minutes would not be easy, but he had no choice, Casey needed to be told.

He knocked.

Once.

He adjusted his shirt and shifted his feet.

Twice.

He wiped sweaty palms against his pants. He didn't know why he was freaking out so much.

Three times.

This was happy news. It was the best news of his life. He hadn't felt this elated since the first time Sarah told him she loved him. So why did he suddenly have a growing pit of dread in the middle of his stomach? Why did he feel this sense of foreboding, hanging over his neck like the Sword of Damocles?

He should have never bet Sarah he could actually keep his hands to himself for more than a minute while she stood naked in front of him.

Stupid girlfriend and her perfect body. Oh but her skin was so soft…

Four times.

Where the hell was Casey? He wanted to get this over with.

Five times.

He brushed hair away from his face and sighed. He had no idea how Casey was going to react to his news. What he had to say would change all of their lives forever.

Finally the door was wrenched open and Casey was standing in front of him in his normal relaxation attire: half open robe, white undershirt, and what looked like a pair of Ronald Reagan embossed boxers. Good old 40th.

"What do you want, Bartowski? It's my day off."

Chuck gulped and suddenly his mouth went dry. "I…I…I…"

Casey scowled and growled out, "Spit it out, Bartowski!" Casey leaned against the door frame. "Or is your jaw too tired from last night?" Casey asked sardonically. "How many times do I have to tell your crazyass girlfriend that the neighborhood doesn't need a play-by-play when you fulfill your contractual obligations?"

Chuck blushed furiously and tugged at his shirt collar. Why couldn't he make the words come out!? "Um…um…"

"Oh for Christ sake," Casey snarled and slammed the door closed.

Chuck blinked and realized that if he didn't do this, then Sarah would have to do it, and Sarah having this conversation with Casey was a recipe for disaster.

Chuck sucked in a breath, heard Sarah's caustic voice telling him to get the sand out of his vagina ringing in the back of his mind, and pounded on the door.

Casey quickly answered, clearly pissed off. Chuck blurted out, "Sarah's pregnant!"

Casey stared at him for a very long time. His face was completely blank, his eyes a little glassy, his jaw dropped just slightly. Then genuine, naked fear darkened Casey's face.

"Well…fuck."

One month…

Sarah stood in front of the mirror, checking out her profile, completely naked. She slowly rubbed her hands across her stomach and hummed in contemplation. She turned to Chuck, who was lounging on their bed in his boxers, a wide grin on his face. He was clearly enjoying the view.

"Do you think I look fat?"

Chuck's eyes widened and he gaped at her. "Sarah, of course not! You have the best body I've ever seen."

She narrowed her eyes sharply and placed her hands on her hips. "And just how many other bodies have you been looking at, huh?"

"What? No! None!"

She softened her hawkish glare and smiled wide, pleased at receiving the correct response. "Good! I'd hate to have to start following you around everywhere you go, making sure you're staying out of trouble." She looked down at her belly. "I mean, I would do it of course, you can never be too careful these days, but then I'd have to get Casey to dispose of all the bodies and honestly that's half the fun."

She couldn't believe that she actually had another person growing inside of her; a person that was half Chuck and half her.

Truth be told, she was rather terrified of becoming a mother. Not that she wasn't looking forward to it, she was ecstatic. She was just very unconfident about her ability to be motherly. She wasn't really sure she had any actual lessons she could teach a child.

Oh sure, she could teach her daughter how to gut a scrotum in one easy slice, or teach her son how to shatter some bully's kneecap, but she didn't think Chuck, with his girly non-confrontational ways, would approve of such things. What else did she have to pass onto her children?

But she could deal with her fear and apprehension because now she would always have a part of Chuck with her, no matter what. He could never leave her now. At least not for 18 years. She'd probably have to make sure this was a repeat occurrence, just to be on the safe side.

If she spaced the kids out far enough, she could keep Chuck securely by her side for years to come. That thought put a smile on her face and she stopped rubbing her stomach.

"So you really don't think I look fat?"

Chuck scrambled out of bed and walked determinedly up to her. He cupped her face gently, his thumb brushing across her chin. She couldn't help but lean into his hand and close her eyes.

"You look perfect. You're not even remotely close to showing. And when you do, you'll still look perfect." Chuck sounded completely sincere but it did little to settle her growing annoyance and fear.

She scoffed and opened her eyes to glare at her boyfriend. This was really her biggest fear. When she lost her perfect body would she still be able to hold Chuck's interest? There were going to be literally hundreds of brunette sluts who, she could admit, would have much better bodies than hers for the next nine months. What if Chuck didn't want to waste his time on his whale of a girlfriend anymore, especially when he could have any of the numerous skanks that were going to be throwing themselves at his feet? It was going to be really hard to pull off intimidating when she had to waddle everywhere.

She would just have to pretend she was a really terrifying penguin.

She reached up with both hands and grabbed hold of Chuck's ears. She pulled down hard until his face was only inches away from hers. Chuck yelped in surprised pain but she ignored his complaints. She stared directly into his eyes and said in a threatening voice, "Promise me that no matter how much I start to resemble the Goodyear blimp, you'll never leave me and that you'll ignore all other women."

"Of course I would never leave you, Sarah!" he said, wide eyed.

"And the other thing too!"

"You want me to ignore ALL women? Like in the whole world?"

"Yes."

"But Sarah…"

"Oh, and you have to promise to plow me nightly even when I'm nine months pregnant." She cursed under her breath. "Damn it, I should have put a pregnancy clause into the contract."

"What? Sarah…"

She kissed Chuck to shut his spluttering up. When she pulled away, she was slightly breathless. "Time for sex now, Chuck." Then she turned him around and pushed him toward the bed.

Chuck wordlessly did as he was told, pushing his boxers off his hips as he walked back to toward the bed. She grinned in satisfaction. She had him well trained now. She looked at herself one last time in the mirror.

"Hmm…" she said. "At least I'll get bigger tits out of this. That should help keep him around."

Then she climbed onto the bed and pounced on her waiting boyfriend with a predatory grin.

What's next - Two months: Chuck asks Sarah an important question and gets an answer he does not expect.