One Way or Another

Jack was not surprised to find Ianto sitting exactly as Owen had left him two days previously, on the couch, in dressing gown and pyjamas. Jack doubted he'd moved.

Even after Lisa was dead, and the Cyber conversion unit disposed of, Jack still felt murderous towards Ianto. It was Owen who had stayed his hand, with a surprising show of compassion. But, as Jack realised afterwards, Owen too had lost someone he loved under extraordinary circumstances.

"Let me take him home," Owen had said gently but clearly not about to accept 'no' for an answer. "I'll get him cleaned up, we can sort things out from there." And that is exactly what Owen had done; taken Ianto home, undressed him, put him under the shower, and sat him on the couch in the living room in pyjamas and dressing gown, with a bottle of Scotch on one side and the TV remote on the other. He sat with the nearly catatonic young man for a while but realised he needed to get back to the Hub to help with clean up. And there didn't seem to be much more he could do here.

Jack was still angry, and hurt, when Owen insisted Jack went around two days later to see how Ianto was faring. When he got no answer to his knock, he let himself in with the spare key. He had a set for each team member's flat; you just never knew when you might need them. Though he had never imagined a situation like this.

Ianto raised his eyes when Jack entered but that was the only acknowledgement. In fact it was no acknowledgement, it merely allowed Ianto to register who had just entered uninvited. He had heard the key in the lock so he assumed it was Jack. No one else had a spare key; he had led a solitary life entirely based around Lisa and Torchwood until two days ago when it all disappeared.

Jack sat down beside, but not touching, Ianto. He opened his closed fist to reveal two white pills.

"Ah," Ianto finally spoke. "This is it, eh? Where you Retcon me out of my memories of Torchwood. Making me a 24 year old with memories that stop when he was 17 and had just committed a shoplifting offence in order to buy groceries for his parents? With no idea where he's been or what he has been doing for the last seven years? That is cruel; you know what it is like to be missing two years of your memory."

Jack said nothing but continued to hold out his hand. "Look again, Jones." Ianto looked more closely and realised that there was a difference between the appearance of the pills.

"Oh, fucking fantastic!" he looked shocked. "I get to choose between Retcon and a poisoned pill? Being 17 or being nothing? Which one is which, Jack? Which one should I pick? Which one do you want me to pick?"

Jack picked up the larger of the pills. "I think you should take this one." Ianto looked him straight in the eye for the first time since Jack had been there, and then moved for the first time in two days. He snatched quickly and swallowed the big one. Jack watched him. Both their faces remained impassive.

Ianto's eyes began slowly to close. "Which one was it, Jack? Tell me that one last thing. I am so sorry that I nearly brought down the team with Lisa, but I loved her. I want her to be my last thought, not which form of oblivion I am about to go to. So tell me, which one did I pick?"

Jack eased the slackening body into his arms and held Ianto tightly, gently, and finally compassionately. "Do you really want to know?"

Ianto nodded, it was all he could manage.

"You picked the sleeping pill. You'll rest now, and then in the morning, we'll talk about things and sort this out."