Thanks just gobs to seddiefan2009 and SamLovesHam92. Entire sections of this story are due to their inspiration. Insert curtsey here…

If you haven't read their stuff, you better go do it now, pilgrim! Thanks again for reading this! Enjoy! Have a bagel!

-pig-

Three's A Crowd

1. Graduation Night

Mrs. Puckett was truly amazed. Her identical twin daughters had graduated from high school. It wasn't all that amazing that Melanie had succeeded, that had pretty much been a given. Samantha on the other hand… Well, where Sam was concerned, it was always 'on the other hand'. Regardless, Mrs. Puckett was proud of both her daughters, and had thrown them the party to end all parties. Even the hoboes were singing hobo songs on the other side of the fence.

Everybody was at the party! The house was rockin' and individual dance styles had gone by the wayside as Gibbie was leading nearly a hundred semi-sober new high school graduates around in a strangely choreographed combination of a square dance that included a huge mosh pit. While square dance and mosh pit are generally not invoked in the same sentence, we are talkin' Gibbie here…

Off to the side, taking all this in stood our three friends, Carly, Sam and Freddie. Oh yes, Norm was there also. Norm is Carly's boyfriend, kind of, this week. The four were in awe of the line of kids following Gibbie's lead.

Beside Carly and Norm, there's Sam and Freddie. No one is sure just what they are. Are they a couple? Dating? A significant other? What? If you ask them you get different answers. It all depends on who you ask, and when. Maybe the best answer was Freddie's a few months ago, when he said, "Huh? What? Sam?" While that really doesn't make much sense, it's better than some of the other answers that the two teenagers have given.

The good thing is that the future is looking pretty rosy for the three. First, all three were accepted at the University of Washington. This wasn't a feat for Carly or Freddie, but for Sam… Freddie had concocted some very inventive verbiage and near facts to get her application accepted. Second, they each had a tidy little income. Freddie and Sam had finally convinced Carly to allow advertising on the iCarly web site. While they had been worried about this type of thing after the shoe fiasco, all three monitored all the ad's to insure there was no 'flubs' as Sam put it.

So, on went the romping and stomping, much to everyone's delight. Unfortunately, there was a hint of evil in the air, and it wasn't caused by the bean dip.

Over at Bushwell Plaza, Freddie's mother was sitting happily at her oh so sterile, vermin free desk opening the days mail. This little chore required a Category 18, Maximum Security Hazmat Suit, since one could never tell just who had licked the stamps. Soon, she had finished micro-blasting the contents of each envelope in her portable ion-chamber. Now the mail was deemed safe for the household, and safe to be read.

Sorting through the notes and letters, she noticed one looked slightly official…

'Dear Mrs. Benson,

It gives us great pleasure to offer you the position you applied for:

Cleanliness Coordinator, Shiny Bright Industries located in Dustbegone, New York.

Could you please contact us…'

"Good heavens" she thought, "I got the position! I got my dream job! Well now! I better get packed! We're moving to New York!"

While most of the kids at the party had agreed to turn over their car keys to Mrs. Puckett and spend the night, Freddie wasn't held to that. It was an established fact that he just wasn't a drinker. He certainly wasn't a prude, and had been known to 'tie one on' on occasion. It was just that he could take it or leave it. This, of course, made him the perfect 'desidriver' for his friends.

Looking around, he noticed that Norm was trying to get friendly with Carly, and Carly was getting sort of friendly back. They had both been drinking rum soaked lime smoothies for the last hour and a half. They were so toasted… Sam had been observing their antics with disdain. Her Mush-O-Meter had a low threshold, and she was nearly gagging. She walked away from the group in search of something interesting to drink.

Hmmm… Root Beer and Gin? Beer? Nah… Vermouth, vodka, bourbon, rye and scotch mixed with watermelon juice, raw peaches and bacon bits? Come to mama! Yea baby, that's for me! As she finished mixing her drink, she turned back around to see her sister, Mel, chatting up Freddie. This was not good. Sam had been pretty sure that Melanie has a 'thing' for Freddie. Now, she was positive. This wasn't good.

Melanie wasn't tipsy, she was hammered. Mel had been having 'eency li'l sips' (twelve ounce gulps) of some concoction her Uncle Carmine had made all day. As Sam walked up to the pair, she could see that Freddie was annoyed with Melanie's advances.

Melanie was oblivious, to pretty much everything…

"…'mon Feddie, les dance, k?" Mel slurred while hanging off his chest, her arms wrapped around his neck. Melanie seemed to be trying to do a 'bump and grind' with Freddie. In her condition it was looking more like a stumble and scrape.

"Melanie, stop OK? Let's go sit down here and rest, alright?" Freddie said.

He'd noticed Sam walking up behind her twin sister, and motioned for her to help get her in a chair just a few feet away. Sam helped extract her sister from around Freddie's neck and got her going toward the chair.

"Feddie, les dance… is a slow dance… like slow dance…"

"Can't do that Mel." Freddie said while they got her in the chair. "Sam would get mad at me."

Melanie started to shake her head "Naw, shes not get mad, don care! She toll me she din like you anyways, so les dance… I like you lots."

Sam stared hard at her sister, Freddie looked at Sam.

"Is that right Sam, you don't care?"

Sam looked at Freddie, her expression was unreadable. Then she turned back to her sister with a look of murder in her eyes.

"That's right nub. Go ahead."

Fred nodded, turned and walked toward the side of the house, letting himself out the side gate. He turned around to latch the gate and saw Sam, glaring at him. He glared back and walked on to his car. He didn't even remember the drive home, the ride up the elevator or entering the apartment. His mother was excited about something, but he pretty much glossed it over, smiled at her and went to his room…

Fred lay on the top of his bed, staring at the ceiling… 'Wait…' he thought. 'Mom said what? Moving to New York? What?'

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