"I know there are others, Alfred F. Jones. I know. So you don't need to explain anything to me."

"Know about what?"

"I looked in your phone. And when I called the number under 'Honey' I got China. You lied to me, Alfred. Just admit it."

"Listen, I can explain."

"You can explain to the movers why they're moving all my things back to England. I'm leaving. Good day, Alfred." The American tried to whimper out a response and was met with the sound of a slammed door. And for the first time in a long time, he put his head in his hands, and cried.

-

Two weeks had passed. America had sent England's things back to him, along with a two page letter trying to 'explain'. England had watched both pages burn while pleasantly sipping his tea. The two weeks had been spent eating chocolate, crying, watching bad romance movies (and subsequently throwing the chocolate at the screen) and then crying some more. He had pulled all the drapes in his house and spent most of his time on the couch, yelling at the hair commercials and generally being crotchety. But when there was a knocking on the door, he stood and trudged his way to answer it. When China was seen through the peephole, he opened it.

"The fuck do you want?"

"Listen England, I know what you're thinking and it isn't true, aru."

"Don't care what you think, Honey, you're a little slut and I don't want anything to do with you. I'm going to go hang myself from the balcony now, thank you." He slammed the door shut, only to be met with a sound that... wasn't the sound of a door. It was only a muffled 'ouch, aru', and when he looked down, China's arm was sticking through the doorway, blocking his door from closing. In his hand was a jar of honey.

England snatched it, looking at the Chinese lettering on it. "What the hell is this?"

"Honey. We're the largest producer of honey in the world, aru. America's one of our biggest customers."

"... So that's why he had you listed as 'honey' on his phone... ?"

"Sounds right, aru. I have him listed as 'yuan', so why not?"

England ran. He shoved past China and ran, stopping only when he bumped into a very large figure standing at the edge of his garden. He looked up, and there stood his hero, in all his glory, holding an enormous bouquet of roses.

1. China is indeed the largest producer of honey in the world, and though America produces a lot of it as well, he probably still buys quite a bit.

2. In case you didn't know, yuan is the Chinese currency.