Authoress Chat: Extreme Drabble. I was bored one night. Enjoy!

Lord of the Sues

The world is changed.

/Glitter/

I feel it in the water.

/Slash/

I feel it in the earth.

/M-preg/

I smell it in the air.

Much that once was is now lost. For a Sue by name of Mary had come to oust all those who remember it. Indeed…

/ / / / /

It began with the forging of the Self-Indulgent Works. Three rings were given to taken from the Elves, given to the fairest, wisest and totally coolest of all beings. Fourteen year old Mary Laurelin Sue had taken them with her fair hand. Fairer than Elbereth Gilthoniel, she imbued each with the powers of her Sue!magination. Then she killed off the Elf-lords who previously owned them, making sure that before the death of Galadriel that she did steal even the golden hairs of the Lady of the Wood… before casting her and her kindred into the Void. Because competition sucks.

Seven would have been given to the Dwarf lords, but with Narya, Vilya and Nenya, there was simply no need of Dwarves anymore. They were, like, so second age.

Right?

And nine…nine rings were gifted to the race of Men, who desired power. But none resided in their rings because the wraiths were, like, scary!1 Yuck! Can't have any of those.

But the Sue was deceived. For another ring was made. In the Land of Mordon, in the fires of Mount Doom, an even darker Sue forged in secret a master ring to control all others. And into this ring, Dark!Sue poured her cruelty, her non-canon and her will to change all canon life. One Ring to Sue them All!

One by one, the free people of Middle-earth feel to the power of Dark!Sue. But there were some who resisted.

A last alliance of Men and Elves whom she hadn't stolen away to glomp into a deep pit of depression fought for the freedom of Middleearth. Victory seemed near, as they killed her beautiful, charming vampiresses and demonesses from Hell (?). But the power of the Ring…could not be undone.

Dark!Sue arrived and with her Vala/Maia (who can tell the difference ,right?) powers, began to force them to kneel. Because she was like totally more badass than Sauron. It was in this moment, when all men prosterated before her and when Mary Laurelin Sue rushed into save the day (via singing. Like Fingolfin. Or somebody like that…) that Elrond at last came up with an awesometh idea.

Awesometh is a word…right? Yeah.

Dark!Sue and Mary Laurelin Sue were both promised that Legolas and Sauron awaited them inside the hallows of Mont Doom. And as they didst do, Gil-galad? took up the charge and pushed both of the Sues, angry at the deception, into the fires of the volcano. Thus ending evil forever.

In that age…

DUHN DUHN DUHN!!!1

Authoress Chat: I told you it was super-drabble. Thanks for reading my random brain fart. Review if you want. If not…meh.