A/N: 25000 words, and not a trace of Shampoo! Well actually there are plenty of traces, Ranma just doesn't know he's supposed to go look for her yet.

Idiot.

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His wife had been quiet during the taxi ride, doubtless thinking through the developments of the evening. Genma wasn't quite so overwhelmed by what he'd heard - if only because he'd had more time to grow used to such things.

The engagement, though.

He really hadn't thought that holding back on P-chan's identity would backfire. It had seemed so convenient; a small threat to Akane's honour, but one which his son couldn't bring himself to ignore. It was supposedto bring the two closer together.

Hm.

Doubtless Soun would spend the rest of the evening and the day tomorrow convincing Akane that she was wrong, and then they would meet up in the evening and discuss the matter...

Worst case scenario he'd have to plan some way of revealing the real pig boy the next time he came to Nerima. It shouldn't be too long; he had visited fairly regularly once or twice a month over the last year.

The only question was how the boy himself would react - it would be good if he could have him blame Ranma for everything; that'd be just like the boy always did, except this time Akane would have to remember all the times his boy had driven the little lech off - she'd even brought it up herself! - And then she would start questioning if she hadn't been wrong all those other times when she'd accused Ranma of things.

"Oh you cunning panda," he muttered to himself.

He looked over at his wife, but she seemed not to have heard.

Of course, he'd have his own work cut out for him, trying to placate the most dangerous woman in Nerima...

Everything he said tonight would be scrutinized beyond what even Tendo's little mercenary daughter could could even dream, and anything that didn't jibe with what she got out of Ranma tomorrow would quickly blow up in his face... At the same time, there was no way Nodoka would expect the first thing he said to be true. So any lies he wanted to get across would need to seem to be dragged out of him, and sandwhiched between other, more easily discarded lies at that...

But... if he could convince her of enough innocent little half truths to make a difference, that might just help smooth over the worst of the damage Kodachi had done tonight.

"Nodoka, dear?" he asked.

His wife had been staring out the window, lost in thought. At his voice, she blinked, and slowly turned her head, questioningly.

"I think, after we put the boy to bed, maybe we could go for a walk? Like we used to?"

Nodoka snorted affectionately, and put her head on his shoulder. "So you can put one of your old stories over on me again?"

Women.

It didn't take long to unpack and unroll three futons, once they got inside. His wife scribbled a note for Ranma, and Genma, not wasting the opportunity, snuck in after her to read the note.

My dear Ranma,

Engagement with Akane broken. Please stay in the house until we can talk, I wish to discuss your relation to the little piglet known as P-chan. I hope you have made no choice during the last year to dishonour the Saotome clan.

Love you,
Mom.

He choked, and hurriedly put the note back, sneaking back out into the hallway to wait for wife.

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"That is the worst lie you have told me in all the years of our marriage," Nodoka said.

Her husband choked indignantly, and began protesting.

"Now that we've got that out of the way," she continued, "How about you tell me the real story behind Ranma and that little piglet?"

"But my Nodoka, my heart, my love, I'm telling you the truth!"

"I very much doubt even master Happosai would go so far as to curse himself - even temporarily, just for a chance to feel up young women."

Her husband stopped walking, and just stared at her like she'd coughed up a frog.

"For one thing," she went on, "Ranma wouldn't have kept quiet about it for so long."

"Well," Genma started, "I can only imagine if master Happosai was the culprit, he would have threatened the boy..."

"Surely Ranma would not have hesitated to reveal the old man's crimes for fear of a little punishment?"

"What's... What's that glint in your eyes, dear?"

She caught herself frowning worriedly, and put on a milder face. "That doesn't sound like our son, Genma,"

"Not like our son?" he asked, cautiously.

"How could such a manly boy allow his fiancée to be dishonoured for the sake of his own safety?"

"Er, well- as you say, Nodoka, perhaps I was mistaken - of course now that I think about it, it seems our Ranma would have at least told his father if that had been the case-"

"So how about you tell me the truth, dear?"

She studied her husband's face as it became flustered, and his cheeks turned red.

She frowned. She couldn't read the signals that usually told her he was about to let out one of his wild stories...

Good.

"Genma darling?" she asked, gentler than before.

He looked away, and then down into the ground.

He looked like he was genuinely sulking, now.

"I don't know," he said through gritted teeth.

"What don't you know?"

"Why the boy is always so upset with that pig," he answered.

She blinked. Either all those years of lying trough his teeth on the road had given him the edge he needed to deceive her, or he genuinely didn't know.

"You have no idea?" she asked, incredulously.

"Damned if I know," he said sulkily. "It wasn't really Akane's pig anyway. It just visits sometimes, so nobody much cared if Ranma scared it off for a couple of weeks..."

Except Akane, Nodoka noted to herself.

"But why would he?" she asked, more thinking out loud, now that that she had established her husband did not know any more than she did.

Genma shrugged.

"I'll have to ask him tomorrow," she said.

Her husband nodded. If she hadn't been entirely convinced of his innocence in this, the last vestiges of suspicion petered out at that. Genma would have known that any lies he'd told would come out if she tried to get the whole story from Ranma before he had a chance to talk with the boy.

They walked in silence for a little while, while she let her last thoughts on tonight's events lead her where they may.

"Now, Nodoka, about the joining of the schools-" Genma started.

"No, husband," she cut him off. "We will talk about that when I have fully understood this P-chan business."

"But my sweet-"

"No, husband."

They walked in silence for a little while. She could feel him sulking again.

"Tell me about his other engagements."

She heard a large intake of breath. "Nodoka, you said yourself we would wait with this discussion until-"

"I said we would hold off the Tendo discussion."

"Yes, admittedly, but-"

"But it occurs to me that if the plans for the union of our family and Soun's are unraveling, then the other girls' claims might merit our consideration.

"Nodoka, dearest-"

He stopped, holding his arms up in protest. Then he realised she hadn't interrupted him this time.

"Well?" she prodded.

"Well... what is it you want to know?"

"What are their claims on my Ranma?"

"Ah. Well-"

"Do any of them have legitimate claims?"

Genma paused. Then: "The Kuonji girl," he said, grudgingly. "Mind you, her claim is nowhere near as strong as Tendo's daughter's, or I would of course have brought this to you for a joint decision."

She held up her hand to ask him to stop.

"Bear in mind, Genma, I will ask Ranma about this tomorrow as well."

His frown deepend. "Oh that it would come to this - even my own beloved wife doesn't trust me. My wife, for whose sake I have-"

"Yes yes, no doubt," she said, tiredly. "Just tell my where she gets off calling my son her fiancé."

Genma coughed. He took a deep breath-

"That's a lie," she said.

Another round of protests later, he was ready to begin.

"Well, you see, it wasn't that long after Ranma and I left on out journey - we had to stop in a small city along the way so I could get together enough money to continue our trip."

"You actually took a job?" she asked dryly.

He looked hurt.

"Go on."

"Well, there this man who had a family business selling Okonomiyaki."

"Like the Ukyo girl does now?"

"Yes... He had his own restaurant. He also had a yatai, which I helped him run. Eventually he offered it to me as a gift - he said he wanted to establish good relations with the Saotome clan. Of course - had I but known that he meant to marry his daughter off to Ranma, I would have refused... but I allowed to myself to trust the man - you can see how this grieves me now after all these years. When the time came for me and Ranma to leave, as the yatai had been a gift, we took it with us. Very surprised was I when the little girl came running after us! She said her father had told her she should come with us. Even then I did not understand - I assumed the child had misunderstood, and I took Ranma and left. Only years later, when Ukyo came to Nerima to pursue the engagement did I finally understand. Oh the poor child..."

He made a dramatic gesture of drying crocodile tears from his eyes.

Hmm... Well, that was just thick with deception. Still, she doubted it was far from the truth. No doubt her husband wasn't telling her everything, but she would get the story out of Ranma in the morning, and she'd see how they jibed.

"I see. What about the Kuno girl? Don't tell me you-"

"Goodness no! That one isn't even up for discussion! She's just some crazy person who decided she had to have the best boy in town!"

She sighed in relief. There was no mistaking the sincerity in that.

"And... this Shampoo girl? The one from China? I haven't seen her at all since the wedding."

Genma laughed nervously.

"Just some... crazy foreigner. Worse than Kodachi, in some ways."

She tried to meet his eyes, but he was avoiding her gaze - as sure a sign as she was going to get that he hadn't finished cooking up a wild story yet.

She sighed. "Can we just skip your first two tales and get straight to the real one?"

There was a pause in the conversation.

Finally she broke the silence. "Well?"

"Despite your mistrust, dear, I'm going to tell you just what I was planning on before your hurtful accusation."

"I was afraid of that."

Her husband had the decency to look ashamed. It was a mask, of course, but at least he had the grace to show her what she wanted to see.

"We had just come from that terrible place where Ranma received his curse... And where your poor hard working husband received his," he wailed.

She allowed him the moment of self pity, and waited for him to continue.

"The Jusenkyo guide took pity on us in our sad and weakened states, and offered to guide us back to civilisation. You must understand we had been deceived by a native who sold us inaccurate maps, and we did not bring enough food to last our journey back from the valley of the cursed springs... The first village we came to we meant to push through quickly, so we could find somewhere willing to let your poor old husband work for room and board for his little boy, but... The guide stopped. He said we were very lucky to have come when we did, as it was the day of one of their yearly martial arts tournaments. Now I pushed my way to the front of the crowd to see if maybe here was something I could make use of in my training with Ranma, all thoughts of food and hunger forgotten. Our son, though, he took the period of near starvation much harder than I did, and when I turned around, I saw him sit down and eat. I hurried over to see what had happened, and the guide said the food had been put there in honour of the winner of the tournament. It warmed my heart to think that in some backwater village in rural China of all places, they held the Art in such esteem that their holidays were held in honour of it, and celebrated by handing out free food to spectators and weary travellers."

Again, she was getting the feeling that he was mostly telling the truth. No doubt it was Genma himself who had first attacked the free food, though. She would have to ask Ranma about this story as well.

"Go on," she said.

"Weary with our travels and starvation, I allowed myself to be calmed down by the guide's explanation, and gratefully sat down to eat with my son. But barely had I swallowed my first mouthful when that girl, Shampoo, came over to us, armed with her chúis - you will remember them from when she helped knock down our poor house, and demanded to know what we were doing. The guide now explained that the food wasn't in honour of the winner, but rather for the winner. You can imagine my shame at having so broken local custom, and I was just about to apologise when Ranma got to his feet, energized by his first meal in days. He asked if, since her claim to the food was as the winner of the tournament, he could challenge her for the honour, and she agreed. Oh you should have seen your son, Nodoka, he made his father so proud. He knocked his opponent off the log with such ease - and when she was armed, no less!"

She nodded, with a slight smile spreading on her lips. She wished she could have seen her boy do all that. How proud she felt.

"Well, we thought it was settled then, but the girl came up to Ranma and kissed him-"

"She kissed him?" Nodoka frowned. "That seems a little fast to warm up to someone who just beat her in a tournament finale."

"Er- well, he was a girl at the time, but yes. To my horror, I then heard the guide explain that the girl had given our Ranma the kiss of death! Vowing to hunt him down to the ends of the earth and kill him!"

Nodoka froze. "What?" she demanded.

"I know! Poor Ranma was terrified-"

"Husband. That's a little far fetched, even for you."

He stared at her funny again.

"You mean... that actually happened?" she asked.

"You can ask the boy tomorrow!"

She tried that one on for size.

"Ok... Well, how did that change from her wanting to kill him to wanting to marry him?"

Her husband snorted. "We didn't find that one out until the girl had followed us all the way back to Japan. Apparently, if the person who beats them is a woman, they have to kill her. If it's a man, they have to marry him and drag him back to China."

"So when she found out Ranma was a man-"

"Exactly."

She shuddered. That sounded very worrying.

"And... that old woman who runs the cat café?" she asked.

"That is the girl's great grandmother, an elder, or something."

"And she's here to make sure Shampoo drags him back to their backwards little village?" she asked, horrified.

Her husband nodded solemnly.

"That's... that's terrible."

He nodded solemnly again.

Hang on.

If the Amazons wanted to take her son back against his will... Why hadn't they? She had heard her son and husband talk many times about how much better Happosai and Cologne were at martial arts than they. And with all the magic and drugs they apparently had at their disposal-

"Why didn't the old woman simply force Ranma to go back?" she asked.

Her husband blinked.

"You expect me to guess at the motives of those crazy foreigners?"

"It just seems strange that they'd make such strong vows, and then sit idly at the side for so long..."

Maybe her husband didn't understand it better than she did.

There was so much she needed to ask Ranma about... However things went with the Tendos - and her cheeks heated from just thinking about Akane's accusation against her son, she would probably have go and speak with all her son's prospective lovers herself. Her husband didn't seem to understand the situation too well... and men were so often left in the dust when women schemed against one another.

It started raining.

She sighed. But then, they were almost home again, and she couldn't think of anything else to ask her lumbering companion at the moment.

When they got home, she made sure to take a long time cleaning her make up - long enough for her husband to sneak back into Ranma's room and leave a note of his own.

Honestly.

When she heard him retire to their bedroom, she made her way to Ranma's room.

He looked so peaceful, sleeping. Part of her wanted to sit there just watching him for a very long time, but she forced herself to kiss his forehead good night, and then she looked for and found the note her husband had sneaked in and left close to her own one from earlier.

It read:

Son,

Your mother and I are both very confused about what happened last night. Is there something special about Akane's little piglet? Your fiancée was very upset last night and said some unnecessary things - to which your poor mother reacted strongly as well. No doubt your reasons for not getting along with P-chan seem honourable to you, and this will all be cleared up within the week.

She snorted before continuing.

PS: Isn't it terrible that there's a spring of drowned piglet? We can only hope none of your enemies find out about this and abuse your deep rooted sense of honour.

The last half sentence had been inked in with enough force to tear the paper in a few spots.

She frowned. She had expected her husband to leave a note, but... This one didn't seem to say anything new.

She returned the note to its resting place, threw a last loving smile at her sleeping child - so grown up now, and went to join her husband in sleep.

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A/N: I honestly intended to cut things with the Tendo engagement fairly short after last chapter. Genma's scheming just happened by itself, though, and as if on cue several new ideas popped into my head for stirring up more trouble for Ranma and his ex-fiancée in the near future.

I hope Nodoka came out alright in this chapter. She's important to Ranma, and merits some fleshing out, I feel.