This fic is about Allen Walker, again, co-starring Tyki Mikk, of course. This fic takes place right after Allen, Road, and Tyki board the Ark and is the follow-up to The Middle Ground, as I'm sure you've figured out. I hope you enjoy it. The song is Somewhere I belong, by Linkin Park

This was written with the much appreciated help of Prieva who did an amazing job of helping put all of this together.

I do not own -Man

Somewhere I Belong

Chapter One: Guilt

When this began, I had nothing to say

And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me (I was confused)

And I let it all out to find- that I'm

Not the only person with these things in mind (Inside of me)

But all the vacancy the words revealed

Is the only real things that I've got left to feel (Nothing to lose)

Just stuck, hollow and alone

And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

Allen Walker's goals, his determination, his ideals shone brighter than anyone's.

He had become the embodiment of justice, placing what was right above all else. Which was why, he reflected ruefully, he was in this position. Doing what was right, unequivocally right, was the only thing that mattered and he had been punished for it; he would, no doubt, be punished for the betrayal of the previous 14th by the Earl and he had already been punished for the corruption of the Order.

In all their false righteousness they had punished him for doing what they should have been doing from the start. The Order had become a veritable black hole of twisted morals and corruption.

However, despite it's over all ugliness, the evil it had become, the Order had possessed a few beautiful, worthwhile things. Quite a few of the people at the Order were still good, still believed and fought as he did (even if no one understood his love for the Akuma). Lavi and Lenalee, Krory, Miranda, so many of the scientists, and even Kanda- they were good people. People that Allen was going to miss. These were the people who had shown him something beyond the Akuma- to see more than the dead. Some of the few decent human beings, creatures worth saving, and he'd left them.

He was the middle ground now, if there could truly be such a thing in this war, and he was fairly certain that only he would see this as a good thing, the right thing. Certainly, it was the correct decision. He never questioned that. But he didn't want to live for just the Akuma anymore: 'your left hand for the Akuma, and the right is for mankind'... what had he done?

He'd survived, that's what he'd done. And no one could fault him for that, for not simply accepting everything- even his eventual execution. Even being the right course of action, his only option, it still hurt.

And being a 'destroyer who saves,' the white-haired teen should have known, should have seen this coming. Of course, looking back, Allen realized that his time with the Order, with a group that couldn't even understand salvation, wasn't meant to be.

I want to heal, I want to feel, what I thought was never real

I want to let go of the pain I've held so long

(Erase all the pain till it's gone)

I want to heal, I want to feel, like I'm close to something real

I want to find something I've wanted all along

Somewhere I belong

But now, as he lounged in the piano room with Road and Tyki, almost comfortably, the full weight of his decision finally hit him. There was more than being a 'destroyer who saves,' more than his pact with the Innocence to save the Akuma as well as the humans.

At first, in the moments following the death of the Third Exorcist, everything felt too heavy with emotion. And he honestly couldn't quite comprehend what had happened. He knew what had happened. He knew why it had happened. But it just didn't seem to want to fit together properly, remaining inexplicably disjointed in his mind.

Once the shock of everything that had happened had worn off, the emotions less poignant, Allen Walker found that he really didn't want to think further about what he had done. He wasn't one to procrastinate or dawdle. He didn't avoid what had to be done, or ignore problems. But this was different. Allen felt just as lost now as he had when he'd been with the Order. As lost as he felt when Mana had died and he'd been taken in by Cross all those years ago.

More than that, there wasn't much left to think on, really- the decision had already been made. And all that this decision left was a gnawing nothingness in his chest that both pained and soothed him. Painful because he had nothing left. Soothing because he had nothing left to lose. It was just him and his Ark. Him and what determination he could still muster. The Noah wanted his allegiance now. And the Order wanted his head. And Allen wasn't inclined to give either.

He felt that his world was upside down when, in truth, it was finally straightening itself out.

He may very well have just changed the entire course of the war. He had certainly changed the course of his life. Whether the change to his life was large or small, he wasn't yet sure. He would still destroy the Akuma and attempt to save mankind. That would never change. But everything around his goals had. His view of the Dark Religious Order and (some of) the Noah had changed. His outlook on the world was altered.

Nothing in his world was black and white, as it had been since he met Cross. The Order was not all white and the Noah were not all black. The Order could halt their acts of inhumanity. The Noah could leave the Earl.

At least the parts within himself that were black were not things he'd actually asked for. Ten year old Allen hadn't known what he'd be doing to Mana when he'd unwittingly made him into an Akuma. Sixteen year old Allen hadn't asked to possess the Musician of Noah. Yet he was blamed for the things that were not of his choosing, held accountable for things beyond his control: A sinner for the accident of despair, a heretic for nothing more than his birth.

Thus, Allen had become the middle ground. He couldn't have saved the world if he'd stayed with the corrupt, stagnating Dark Religious Order. He couldn't destroy the Earl only to replace him with an organization that was just as bad- if not worse. It was a coin toss, Allen thought: The Order used and tortured the living while the Earl used and tortured the dead. It was hard to say which was the greater evil.

Allen Walker, however, was only a 'destroyer who saves.' His entire purpose, his plans, his moral code could be summed up in that one phrase. But the Order never seemed to catch that- thus his sham of a trial. And considering who was in control of said trial, Allen imagined that as soon as he had defected the Central Command had officially deemed him a heretic and assumed he would now join the Noah.

But the Noah weren't Allen's middle ground, either. He had made a stand against the equally evil sides of this hidden war. For Allen, there would be no compromises. No excuses for torture or murder, no forced soldiers, no unnecessary sacrifices. The middle ground, notorious for being self-serving, cowardly, and easily swayed would, for once, be selfless, just, and unshakable, just as he was. Allen would see to that, whether he wanted to or not. Allen couldn't help but be devoted to a righteous cause; his past, his self-imposed penance- his very nature- would allow nothing less.

And despite all of this, Allen felt relief. For the first time in a very long time he didn't place blame for his decisions where it didn't belong, didn't hold onto others' guilt for them. For the first time in nearly a decade Allen Walker didn't blame himself for the wrongs of others.

Thank you so very much for reading this fic.

Thank you so much to Prieva for being my outstanding beta- this would have taken way long and been far worse without you I'm sure.

Please review and tell me what you think of this so far. I'll have the next chapter up as soon as humanly possible.