Rated for: Number 5 (blame Thessali) M
Spoilers for: the whole game
Other notes: partially inspired by the 'songfic meme' bug going around on the SiB
1.
And she always did her best to try to please him
While he always did his best to make her cry
And she got down on her knees to stop him leaving
But he always knew one day he'd say goodbye
Another Cup of Coffee – Mike and the Mechanics
She's silent now, sobs tapering off, not due to any lessening of her sorrow, but because she simply doesn't have the energy to grieve any more. It cuts him deeper than he will ever admit.
Their companions disapproved from the start. That disapproval only made their…liaisons all the more intense. The spice of the forbidden has ever been intoxicating, and when any one of those who disapproved might have taken it upon themselves to disapprove more physically… Well, an assassin's life is no fun at all if danger doesn't heighten the thrill of whatever you're doing.
He tried to warn her, with word and action, that this day would come. Always pushing, prodding at her emotional weak points, always seeking to justify his own belief that she would tire of him, sooner rather than later, and push him away.
Before he walked away on his own.
2.
I've seen you in a magazine
A picture at a party where you shouldn't have been
Hanging on the arm of someone else
I'm still in love with you
Won't you come back to your little boy blue
I've come to feel inside
This precious love was never mine
For Whom the Bell Tolls – Bee Gees
He sees her and it's as if no time at all has passed, and yet today marks the fifth year since the Archdemon breathed its last.
He has only reluctantly attended the celebration, all but forced by Anora – his wife – and he suspects she is relishing his clearly reluctant presence at a party for the Hero of Ferelden. Loghain.
Alistair turns his thoughts away from that man, and back to her. The Warden Commander…on the arm of Bann Teagan.
The sight makes him feel sick once more, though it is no surprise, not with the rumours that the Bann has proposed already.
And really, he forfeited all claim to her, however much he still loves her, when he chose to be a petulant child. Not that he ever deserved her love in the first place.
3.
Maybe I'll be back some other day
To live again just who can say
In what shape or form that I might be
Just another chance for me
No More Lies – Iron Maiden
It knows the end is near, knows this battle is already lost, even before the tiny creature leapt to its back and shredded its wing, crippled and grounded it for others of its kind to finish. But it has been both greater and lesser than they can ever imagine, its view of the universe, the cycle of death and rebirth not so closed as to distinguish ends and beginnings.
It knows how this dance goes. It knows the bite of steel and magic, the stab of ballista bolts that are like arrows to one of its stature. It knows the sapping drain of magic, the crippling pain of slashed tendons and sundered scales.
When the final blow comes, it knows too this explosive freedom. Knows the mingled pain and ecstasy as it seizes on the nearest tainted form. The soul of it is small, weak, easily extinguished as the taint finds itself and cancels itself out. Purified, the soul of the Old God would laugh – will laugh, later, when it has the lungs and freedom to do so – at the idea that it is 'dead'.
It is safe, like its brethren before it, cleansed and moulded into a new form.
A form that will have another chance at life.
At power.
4.
The sun burns out, sky goes black like curtains drawn
Will you, say your vows
And take a bow as the breath slips out between your lips?
I can't stand…
Scenotaph – Emanuel
"You will be a good king." And with that he's running, quick and nimble, despite the battles they've fought to reach this place, this moment.
Alistair can only watch as the inevitable scene plays itself out. Can only stand, mute and immobile, as if he's been paralysed, as the man he's come to consider his best friend sacrifices himself.
"For Ferelden…" The words whisper from his lips, and he's not sure if it's his imagination, or if he hears an echoing scream of 'for the Grey Wardens' as the bright blade plunges down into the archdemon's skull.
Light engulfs the tower, and Alistair, like a puppet with its strings suddenly cut, slumps to his knees, a lone tear sliding down his cheek.
5.
When morning wakes me, well I know I'll be alone
And I feel I'll be fine, so don't you worry about me
I'm not empty on my own, for inside I'm alive
That for one night – it was so right – that I gave you
My heart, my love, my heart – just for one night
My body, my soul – just for one night
My love, I loved – for one night, one night, one night
One Night – The Corrs
She's not sure how they ended up like this, naked and pressed together, all heat and desperation. She thinks maybe they're both trying to remember they're still alive, trying to forget things in their past – recent and distant – that for whatever reasons they can't.
She tenses and cries out, not for the first time, not for the last. Whatever else may be true or false of the Grey Wardens, their stamina is clearly not overestimated. She shudders and whispers his name, Duncan, and then he's shuddering against her as well.
This night is all they'll have. Maybe all they'll ever have. But such are the fortunes of war, and the memories will carry her through however many lonely nights may come.
6.
So baby dry your eyes, save all the tears you've cried
Oh, that's what dreams are made of
Cause we belong in a world that must be strong
Oh, that's what dreams are made of
Dreams – Van Halen
He walked away. She couldn't quite believe it. Couldn't quite bring herself to believe it. Yet…he was alive – and short of running headfirst into the horde in some bid for suicide, he was likely to remain alive.
Which was good, if he was to be king.
Even if it meant he hated her forever.
She had always been the strong one. The one to make the tough decisions. And putting Loghain through the Joining instead of executing him was the toughest decision yet. But when Riordan told them the truth, and Morrigan made her offer – and offer she could never have taken – she knew it had been the right decision.
And that was all she had ever asked. That she have the strength and courage to make the right decisions, even when they were hard.
Even when doing so shattered all her dreams.
7.
Shivers, up and down my spine
Break up, not on my mind
How could it end this way
Don't leave me, love me
Just a little bit longer
Just a little bit longer
Shivers – Armin Van Buuren
She barely heard what he said as he turned and walked away, something about collecting his thoughts.
What thoughts? She wondered bitterly. He obviously hadn't been thinking just now.
Or maybe she hadn't been thinking at all. Not when he'd blurted out the truth, that he was Maric's bastard, in line for the throne with Cailan's demise. Not when Eamon had outright stated his intention to press that claim on Alistair's behalf.
Two Grey Wardens stood very little chance of conceiving the heir the kingdom would demand. Fine – but what of any child Alistair did conceive? Would it be tainted?
Surely they could have tried?
8.
Darling, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if you're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
How can I let you know
I'm more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you're not dreaming
Eyes on Me – (Final Fantasy VIII)
He was so strong, so brave, and yet Leliana could tell that it was all a façade. Carefully crafted, rigorously maintained, true, but a mask nonetheless.
By now they all knew the tale. The betrayal at Ostagar that had left only two Grey Wardens in all Ferelden, and the selfless way in which he had taken up a burden too heavy for Alistair.
They had talked, she and him, and she had told him of her own past, her own sins. He had held her as she cried, after Marjolaine was finally a threat of the past. And she felt, in return, that she should let him know that she was there for him as well.
But how?
How could she put into words the way she felt, the way she hoped he felt in return. The sagas and romances never told of this, of how the throat closed on the words the heart wanted to say, of how uncertainty muffled the actions, the gestures that she wanted to make.
She did not have to talk to him, she realised one night. He knew she had been a bard, and bards sang – everyone knew this.
So she sang, and when his eyes met hers, she knew he understood.
9.
Star Trekkin' across the universe
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk
Star Trekkin' across the universe
Only going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse
Star Trekkin' – The Firm
He was convinced that this whole thing was a farce. Their leader was clearly reluctant to be so, and the other Grey Warden was even more reluctant to assume anything approaching a position of responsibility.
And the second Grey Warden was supposed to become King?
No, no. Clearly this was some cosmic demonstration of just why the Qun was the only truly enlightened path in life.
In fact, Sten was also convinced that if the Grey Wardens did manage to defeat the archdemon, it would be entirely by accident.
10.
I believe in nothing, not the end and not the start
I believe in nothing, not the earth and not the stars
I believe in nothing, not the day and not the dark
I believe in nothing, but the beating of our hearts
This is War – 30 Seconds to Mars
Everything they'd gone through, and it was over…just like that. It was like a dream – or a nightmare – its start a welter of blood and betrayal, its end an apostate's bargain and a pillar of light. It was hard to believe, and Alistair was certain that the truth of events would never be recorded accurately in the history books.
-
She was floating, buoyed on a sea of light that was all around her. The earth was a distant memory, the stars drowned in her victory. But she was safe, she knew. Morrigan's offer had been genuine, and even as she smiled, she could feel her spirit gliding back home to her body. Back to the future – however many years there remained of it – with her beloved.
-
Time seemed as dazed by the end of the battle as Alistair felt. The Blight's storm hid the sun, made it impossible to tell whether it truly was night, or whether the sun had crept up from the horizon, ready to bathe them all in its welcome light.
With the darkspawn fleeing, he hurried in the direction of Fort Drakon. Though he trusted his beloved's assurances that Morrigan's ritual would work, he would worry until he saw her for himself, still alive.
-
They were together, and nothing mattered. Not the lies they would tell to the Orlesian Wardens, not the possible trouble that Morrigan and her god-child might cause in the future.
Nothing mattered except each other, and that they both still lived.
Bonus.
Goodbye to the past, hello to the future
As the struggle continues, there's no fate
Someone's gonna ask you about the truth
And the meaning expecting another answer
To be sure he's on the right side and you're on the wrong
Do not listen, it's your decision
No Fate – Scooter
"I won't let you do this." You stare at him, incredulous, stunned, yet somehow not surprised.
"You need to be king." You whisper, the tears already welling in your eyes, because the look on his face is so determined, so…serene, as if letting him do this would make him the happiest man in the world. And how can you deny him that – except by thinking of the gaping hole his death will tear in your chest.
"Then let me be the best king I can, and end the Blight. Let me save my kingdom. Let me save you."
And you're a heartbeat from saying yes, the tears already blinding you, when a blur of motion to the side catches your eye.
You turn, uncomprehending as your mabari charges past, sinking its teeth into the archdemon's neck, its jaws locking in a deathgrip.
And as the archdemon dies and light engulfs the tower, you wonder what on Thedas the history books are going to make of this.
AN: Why is this only 'inspired' by the meme you ask? Well, mainly because I haven't gotten around to sorting my music out on the PC yet, and thus have no playlists to be random with…or at least, no playlists that aren't a) dance/trance/techno music or b) under 10 songs long or c) all songs chosen for when I'm writing DA fic… So yeah, these 10 are basically 'cherry picked' from the music I have because I could see something DAish in their lyrics. In compensation I've tried to pick scene/character combinations that I wouldn't normally pick…and I threw #9 in there just so I could argue that I didn't completely give myself an easy ride – although I actually found #10 pretty difficult. Odd considering it's the end-credit music to the game LOL
Thoughts and extra info on each 'drabble'.
Number 1. I would have liked more time to round this out, but oh well
Number 2. Really not happy with this one, again, needed more time to round it out
Number 3. I actually finished before the song ended LOL
Number 4. Because we need more bromance (yes, the romance is good, but the bromance can be just as good dammit)
Number 5. Well damn…there went the rating. Dedicated specifically to Thessali, who demanded more Duncan love :P
Number 6. Pretty sure Alistair still ends up king (if you've nominated him) if you recruit Loghain, although I've yet to steel myself and get this ending.
Number 7. Bah…started with the intention of keeping this 'any origin' and realised too late that I should've picked either noble or non-noble and stuck with it to make the 'reasons why not' bit easier; spent too much time dithering and had to end it quick with a noble-ish flavour, so the internal logic's all to pot.
Number 8. Writing about things I know nothing of (I've yet to romance Leliana). Oh well.
Number 9. Sten is a sarcastic sceptic and I love him.
Number 10. Went very, very slightly over the song time with this one – but only to finish the last sentence!
Bonus. Again, went over time, but I don't care because it's a bonus. This one is probably as much the fault of my muses for the idea in the first place as it is Thessali's fault for suggesting it as a 'flash fiction'. The song isn't actually one of 'mine' - I had the scene in my mind and went looking for song lyrics to fit...probably failed epically on reflection.