halcyon

i.

And even in the
darkness, she glows.
A strand of hair on
his pillowcase
is a string of leaves.
This is the truth about September

She is careful, like a scientist
her fingers slide over dips
and slopes, concaves and
convexes, those graceful
curves of his hips, guiding
her eyes to the peak of
bliss.
She
likes to kiss each scar, scattered
like stars on his ribs, his back.
The trembling and panting, and
shattering and cursing when
they entwine and become one—
this is the truth about October

She breathes
trembling like a flower
Then she laughs, the sound is a blessing
curves her body like a comma under his
kisses him like the way she breathes,
says his name like a granted-wish
And this is:

magic.
This is the truth about November

This is the truth about December:

She responds with silence, eyes ablaze. His confession kick starts her pulse, throbbing under his fingertips.

With both hands, he cradles her neck. Behind her are shafts of afternoon sunlight.

She closes her eyes.

And doesn't answer, only smiles.

ii.

It was May; it was windy.

And she was walking beside him, humming a song he thought he had heard when he was a boy, clutching his mother's wrist.

A sudden breeze came up, and at once, her hair leapt out in long shiny streamers. Startled, Ichigo stopped. The wind flung her hair about him, whipping them this way and that so he stood at a tempest of honey, reds and gold. The air grew fragrant.

"Oh no, I'm sorry, Kurosaki-kun!"

The sweet smell moved away, and his vision cleared.

She was frantically gathering her hair in her hand, sputtering every time a strand lashed out at her mouth. Her efforts were futile; the wind continued to toss her hair about her.

He watched, fascinated.

"Are you okay? Did I hurt your eye with my hair? I'm really sorry about that."

He swallowed.

"It's okay."

She smiled as she fumbled with her hair. He gazed at the unraveling strands, curving and twisting through the air like a living thing.

The wind calmed. Sighing, she combed through the locks with her fingers. Like water, they slipped through her fingers. As she pulled the tangles free, she smiled up at him meekly. "The wind is so strong today."

"Yeah."

:

It was June when she found him near the river.

He acknowledged her with a nod. Seeing him looking solemn, she wondered if she should leave. Part of her, though, a large part, wanted to stay, help carry a portion of his burden in her own way. But she wasn't sure if her presence was wanted, needed even.

So she said, "See you on Monday, Kurosaki-kun!" She was dismayed to detect fakeness in her cheerful voice.

He looked at her then. Her heart ached with longing to stay. She felt as if she were drowning. It propelled her to move.

She put on the biggest smile she could muster and walked past him.

"Inoue."

He wasn't looking at her but he said, "Stay." He wet his lips, swallowed, looking strangely shy.

"Please."

:

July came, and with it came unbearable heat.

He found her in their classroom, still seated and staring out of the window to the sky. Across the sky was a thin streak of cloud, as if the painter had accidentally flicked white paint against blue canvas.

"Hey," he called out from the doorway.

She paused from her perusal and turned to look at him. She grinned.

"Hi, Kurosaki-kun! Why are you still here? Did you forget something?"

"No." He hesitated, then stepped in.

She went back to studying the sky. "The sky is so blue." She commented, eyes brightening. She looked so happy. But then she was always like this. He wondered how she stayed positive despite all the things she went through.

He wanted to be strong like her.

Then she turned to him with a smile.

"I wish summer would last forever."

He shrugged, put a hand inside his pocket. "It would be too hot."

She laughed.

"To be young forever, it's impossible, ne?"

"There are things that could last forever."

She cupped her face in her hands. "Hmm…"

"Hope, faith," he said, shrugging.

She gave him a smile, a sort of smile that told him she was remembering something lovely and sad.

"And love," she said.

He nodded. "And love."

A moment passed.

They both looked up to the thin strip of cloud.

"But there's nothing wrong with transience, right?" she said. "There are things that are beautiful because they don't last forever."

:

Near the end of August, new term started.

She stood chatting with her friends. When he entered, she spared him a glance with a smile edged in nostalgia. His mouth went dry, and he moved to his desk, sat down and ignored the ache in his bones to be near her.

Only Sado knew about the trip he had with Inoue one week prior the start of new term but he had an inkling that Tatsuki knew too. If she did, she didn't come over to pummel him over the outcome of the said unplanned outing. He had expected an interrogation. But nothing came. Tatsuki kept her distance, before, during, and after class. She didn't even spare him a look.

Sado didn't ask him about the trip, didn't ask if something blossomed out of it, if something ended.

He knew something did end. But what it was, he didn't know. He knew, in some way, but he was afraid to name it.

School ended and they found themselves alone in the classroom. As fate would have it, they were partners in after-class cleaning duty that day.

She wasn't looking at the sky or at him. Regardless, she looked beautiful in the sunlight.

He only wished she would look at him.

"Despite his ugliness, he was loved," she began. He stared at her, greedily taking in the sound of her voice, remembering one April afternoon and the unfinished story she had read out loud to him. "Her tears fell and at their gentle touch, he felt himself transform. With her love and devotion, she saved him from his fate. And he, who had believed he was doomed to love with empty arms, now lived in joy. For so long he feared his touch only destroys."

She looked at him this time. Unfaltering, soft browns. Her eyes were bright and her smile made her beauty too painful to look at, too tender to bear.

Most of all, it gave him hope.

"It was his fate but he changed it. He only needed to believe."

iii.

January began with a scarf.

He saw her across the street, rubbing her gloved hands together, standing in the snow, head bent like a purple flower.

The traffic light changed and yet she didn't move. He strode quickly over to her, startling her with his suddenness.

Her eyes grew round. "K-Kurosaki-kun," she breathed. "H-hi."

His large hands took her upper arms. "You're not dressed properly for winter, Inoue."

"I-I'm fine – oh, what're you–" She gaped, befuddled as he wrapped his scarf around her neck. "Ku–" The scarf covered half of her face, muffling her words. Hurriedly she pulled it down under her chin.

"Kurosaki-kun, you shouldn't have–"

He secured the scarf with a loose knot. "I know."

:

February began with plum.

She held it up, the first plum of spring.

"Love is a flower, the flower of life," she began, her voice husky as she sang. There was a cheeky smile tugging her lips, cheeks flushed. "You are the seed."

:

March began with oranges.

He saw her, chatting with the girl selling oranges.

"Inoue." She paused, turning to look at him. Her face lit up and she grinned, waving.

"Hello!"

"Where's Tatsuki?"

She said good bye to the orange girl and together, they walked in the direction of their street. Between chewing, she answered, "She has karate practice." She swallowed and wiped her mouth. "Do you want some?" She held up an orange slice.

He popped one into his mouth. "Thanks."

:

April began with a story.

"Once upon a time, there was a boy who protects," she began. "He is brave and very kind. He loves with all his heart despite the loss he experienced when he was young. But this boy has a dark secret."

He looked up from studying the desk between them. She leaned forward, a lock of hair falling to drape over the page. The scent of her shampoo made him think of oranges.

"While he is a boy who protects, he is also a monster who destroys. Because of this secret he is afraid to hold the one he loves. He believes his touch will only destroy her. Lovely things such as she shouldn't be touched, he tells himself. My love will only ruin her so I'll let her be."

She continued:

"And thus he is doomed to love with empty arms."

Someone called out his name.

He stood, thanked her and said good bye. She watched him leave, counting his steps, the unraveling distance.

The book fell close, unfinished.

iv.

Somewhere between July and August this happened.

"Kurosaki-kun, on the train, I said–"

"Don't say it. Because then it would be real and I…"

Her grip on his wrist tightened. He touched her forehead with his, his palms cradling her face tenderly. He held her as though afraid he'll bruise her, afraid to lose her.

He opened his eyes and looked into hers. "You're so fucking beautiful and such beauty… shouldn't be touched."

His hands dropped from her face, and he turned, leaving her.

As he walked home, he remembered the story, how he came to believe that he shared the same fate with that boy in that story.

And thus he is doomed to love with empty arms.

notes, notes.

- That lyric is from the ending theme of Ghibli film Only Yesterday, the Japanese version of the song The Rose.

- Ume or plum blossoms are the first sign of spring: they start blossoming at around January until the end of February. Thanks wiki XD

- that tiny story is inspired by, surprise, surprise – Beauty and the Beast with an ichihime angst-twist

YUP RANDOM I KNOW. But I love this ok /hugs this piece to my bosom

And dear friends, this is the last one. Ah, 84 stories, huh, crazy, isn't it. Thank you very much for sticking for almost 3 years! not gonna lie, this collection is a favorite of mine. Thanks very much for reading space trooper! I hope you enjoyed them :D (now on to my other fics!)