.:Remember Me:.

.:This story has been inspired by the book Remember Me by Christopher Pike:.

This is the story of a boy and a girl. I know, sounds cliche, doesn't it?

But isn't that how any good love story begins, even one involving the seemingly emotionless Sam Puckett?

Of course, this isn't like any other love story you've probably read before, unless, of course, you've happened to fall upon a tale beginning with the murder of the heroine. But you probably haven't because authors have it instilled in their minds that you can't kill off the main characters.

In any case, I've taken the time to record my story, so that I am not forgotten. And it begins with a name.

My name is Sam Puckett.

I never wanted to die. I was only seventeen on that night that changed my life forever. Now all I can pray is that I am remembered. But I will not go without the last word. I need everyone to understand why I died, to understand that everything is not as it seems. This is my story.

P R O L O G U E

"And did you know…" Carly paused to glance questioningly at the camera, quirking her eyebrows comically.

"Today, exactly four years ago, was an extremely fateful day," I chorused with a sprinkle of jazz hands and a mysterious chuckle. My head tilted to the side, spilling my blonde ringlets over my shoulders in a raining barrage of unruly curls and twists.

"1,457 days ago, on a stormy Tuesday afternoon, iCarly was born," Carly revealed in a hoarse whisper, a grin stretching from ear to ear on both our faces.

"Cue the celebration, Fred-fudge," I yelled brazenly, pretending to ignore the glower the nub sent my way.

Finally Freddie sighed submissively. "Cueing," he reported with a roll of his eyes and, after pressing a blinking red button on his tech cart a smile drifted onto his lips.

The Bazooka Bubble Gum song suddenly blared from the speakers set up all around the studio and a barrage of balloons and streamers burst from the ceiling, drenching me and Carly in their multi-colored splendor.

Tossing a pink balloon in my best friend's direction I allowed a full-belly laugh to bellow from my diaphragm, filling the room with my infectious attitude. Pretty soon all three of us were giggling and firing balloons at one another in a mock fight; well, I did manage to sock Freddie pretty good across the face, if I do say so myself.

Finally Carly motioned for the brunette to soften the music before exclaiming joyfully, "Well I'm afraid that's all the time we have." A frown settled on her mouth.

"But no worries," I chimed in helpfully, waggling my eyebrows at the camera. "We'll be back next week with some cool chiz and until then you can check out our website which Freddork oh so conveniently set up."

"You know what…" Freddie began ominously and Carly flashed us both a warning glance.

"Anyways, until then, cart a walrus around Get-Go-Mart," the web comedian chorused brilliantly.

"Knot your tech producer's scrawny hair with Gorilla Glue," I echoed, flashing Freddie a crass grin.

"And…oh who am I kidding, I can't top that," Carly admitted after a brief pause, a smile quickly lighting up her face. "See you next time on iCarly!"

"Bye!"

"See ya!"

"Later!"

"And…..we're clear," Freddie announced, flicking a button on his precious camera before connecting the USB cable to his laptop, no doubt to back up the newly archived data. "Great show, you guys!"

I smiled tersely and let out a sigh of relief, my shoulders slumping incrementally, "No duh."

"Wasn't it?" Carly questioned with a laugh, giving him a high five. She somehow forgot to give me one.

Freddie carefully slipped his camera in its special case, velvet no doubt. I watched, bored out of my mind, as he meticulously ran his thumb over a slight notch in the lens, a frown twisting his plump, "wittle" cheeks.

"You've got major issues with tech care," I noted, giving the boy a dull glance.

"Whatever, Puckett," Freddie mused with a sly smirk, the gesture fading into a genuine smile as Carly brushed the pad of her thumb against his palm before linking their fingers.

"You did great tonight," Carly whispered, tracing the brunette's brow with her remaining hand. Her lips pressed against his jaw-line, leaving several butterfly kisses; somehow in the last few months Shay had become drastically more...well, coarse wasn't exactly the right definition. Daring was more like it.

"You too, precious," Freddie whispered gently, his warm chocolate orbs peering into the web comedians with such love that it sickened me to the point of near vomiting.

If you hadn't guessed by now the two of them were in a committed, wonderful relationship, to my dismay.

It wasn't that I really minded them going out; after all, I'd been dealing with the consequences for six months now. The part of this whole sudden consummation that irritated the hell out of me was the changes it drew from my normally charismatic best friend.

Six months ago Carly would have welcomed me into her home without any reservations, pretending to dismiss the fact that I would immediately snatch the remainder of her meaty products from the fridge and then camp out on her couch.

Now, however…I was no longer a part of her VIP list, so you could say.

Sure we still did iCarly together and hung out at Ridgeway every once in awhile but she and Freddie had formed this impenetrable bubble thingy and after several weeks of desperately trying to pop it I'd simply given up.

I know what you're thinking: Sam Puckett, give up? No possible way, man.

"Sam, you hurt Freddie again," Carly admonished with a shake of her head, her fingers gently probing the bruise covering the dork's cheekbone.

"So? The nub had it coming to him," I told her firmly, crossing my arms in a manner that suggested intentional defiance.

The brunette sighed, clearly about to launch into another one of her 'oh so important' lectures, "Sam; its senior year and after these next two semesters we're off to colleges separated by hours and hours of land mass. Can't you attempt to be civil in the allotted time we have left?" Her tone was pleading for me to understand but the simple thought made me crack.

"I'm the only one trying to be civil in whatever twisted friendship this is," I growled, hopping off of the car hood.

"What are you talking about?" Carly wondered, clearly puzzled.

"Ever since you started dating that nub," I began, pointing furiously at Freddork, "you've been treating me like shit!"

Instantly Carly's expression darkened, "So that's what this is about. You're jealous!" She snapped.

"Of your so called relationship?" I blurted out. "Think again, Shay!"

"Maybe you're the one who changed," the web comedian hinted dangerously. "Maybe you just couldn't handle mine and Freddie's happiness so you decided to go off the deep end!"

I paused, stung by her words, "What the hell happened to you, Carls? Since when did you turn into this ice cold bitch that cares about no one but herself?" I yelled without thinking, instantly regretting the words as Carly's face crumpled.

"Sam!" Freddie lashed out, cuddling his girlfriend and pressing his lips against the brunette's forehead.

Carly pressed a chaste kiss to her boyfriend's lips before waltzing out of the studio, not forgetting to shoot an ominous glare in my direction that meant I'd better sleep with one eye open. The studio door clicked shut behind her.

As Freddie turned in my direction, no doubt to shower me with yet another reprimanding conundrum I rolled my eyes, "Don't even start with me."

"I wasn't even going to try," he admitted in a reluctant mumble, shifting his footing and chancing another look at me. "I just hate it when you two fight. You promised after the whole window washing platform incident that you wouldn't let anything come between you two. So what changed?"

"Like I'm actually going to answer that, Benson," I scoffed, rolling my eyes, keeping up my awesome Sam-ness.

Speaking of Sam-ness, I think I'll succer the nerd into fixing me a sammich with ham later. Mama loves her ham, after all, and the dork owes me. Well, actually, he doesn't owe me anything but I'll guilt him into thinking that he does, and then he'll make me my delectable treat.

With a sigh Freddie began pacing towards me…and when I say snail's pace I mean ten thousands light-years slower than a snail's pace, "A turtle could move faster than you, Freddork."

I felt a weird stinging sensation attack my heart as I looked at him, and I didn't have any clue what the hell it was; it felt sort of like a bumblebee puncturing thousands of holes in my chest cavity. Carly would call it love but I always manage to remind her that there is no such thing as true love. I mean, look what love did to my mom, and if love is that freakin' malicious, then it can't possibly be love.

"I'm, gonna, um, stay over here for dinner," he mumbled. Why did he have to look so freaking guilty around me all the time? I tire of it.

My heart wrenched again as I looked at Freddie and suddenly all I wanted to do was get out of here, away from Carly and Freddie, not wanting to see them make out again.

I mean, you know how it is. You want your friends to be happy and yet at the same time that thing in the movies happens when they totally block you out and you practically fade away into the background. You don't belong with them anymore.

And there's nothing you can do but walk away.

Through my musings I vaguely heard the nub clear his throat, "So, do you want to eat with us?" Is he really that stupid? Carly and just practically ended our friendship and he's asking me to join him and his girlfriend for dinner.

I looked away, trying to ignore the burning feeling in my eyes. No, I didn't want to stay. But how could I tell him that? How could I tell him that the sight of him and Carly together killed me inside? It was bad enough inviting the conversation to take place in my extremely confused mind, let alone admit it to my dorky male friend here. He couldn't possibly understand.

I shook my head, muttering, "I'll pass. Mama's in the mood for pizza down at Rico's."

Without a word to him I forced myself to move, not wanting to go away from him, but not able to stand in his presence either. My trembling form shot blindly across the room, my arms spinning diversely in front of me in pursuit of the glass centered door.

As my hands closed around the bronzed door handle, Freddie touched my shoulder, and I jumped, not realizing that he had moved across the room. I pivoted to look right in his eyes, and the burning feeling attacked my throat, worse this time. I couldn't, wouldn't cry.

"Are you alright?" Freddlina asked me, concern dripping off every one of those venemous words.

I felt like screaming I feel like fucking taking my life sometimes, you know that?

But it felt as if my tongue was frozen like a block of granite in the pit of my mouth, coiling like a serpent preparing to strike its prey. It a fairy tale realm I would scream and whine about how unfair my life was and how people didn't appreciate my endearing presence enough. But this was reality.

"I'm fine." No, I'm not. But you won't ever understand that, will you Freddie?

And so, I did the only thing I could think of. I ran.

Spencer looked up as I stomped down the stairs, rushing towards the front door, needing to get away. Just keep running and maybe they'll forget about all this. Maybe I can go back and start over and force a smile onto my face like usual. Because if I just keep running maybe I'll outrun my problems.

Carly wasn't here, I realized, as I shut the front door of the apartment behind me. But I didn't stop to think about where my best friend could be. I would see her tomorrow anyways, I reckoned.

I rolled my eyes as I passed through the lobby and Lewbert started hurling insults about "stupid hormonal teenagers" at me. For some reason they were getting to me tonight. Normally I could put up a wall that would deflect all insults sent my way, but tonight I was strangely vulnerable. I pushed open the front door of the hotel, making my way into the cool night air.

As I walked down the deserted street, my eyes wandered up to look at the night sky. The stars were shining brightly tonight, little bursts of twinkles in the twilight above me but there was no moon, making the streets darker than usual. As I crossed the desolate street, my eyes straining for the pizza man sign that signified that Rico's was open for business, a wind whipped around me, sending my arms to cross against my shaking shoulders, encasing the remaining warmth in my shivering form. I brushed my unruly bangs away from my eyes, pulling out a knot in the corner before resuming my walk.

Just down the street an overhead traffic light sputtered and then flickered out, shadows casting on the road, making my eyes narrow in order to see clearly and I bit my lip, forcing back an irrational stream of fear. This was just like one of those suicide or murder movies where the heroine is captured in the dark alley, I rationalized with a flat smirk, adjusting my cramped feet on the pavement.

You know, I always criticized my psychotic mother for attempting to drive away and simply leave all her problems behind. She attempted to evade the mortgage payments by stealing someone's ID and claiming to be a 77 year old man named Morris and forget her ex husband, my dad, by dating and sleeping with countless guys.

I never understood why my mom resorted to those measures, until now. Maybe it's just the Puckett's legacy; we run away from our problems and never look back.

I could practically envision Carly and Freddie glaring down at me now, their gazes brimming with disappointment. But I wouldn't beg, or cry; Puckett's don't sink to that level.

"Sometimes I think they'd be better off without me," I finally admitted into the silence, my breath swirling in pale patterns before evaporating. No matter how much I don't want to admit it.

For just a moment I wondered what it would be like to float up to the sky and leave, leave all my pain behind. I would never have to deal with anything again. I wondered what it would be like to die, to fade away from the troubles of life, and to sleep in peace forever.

Suddenly there was a piercing pain in my midsection and I fell to the ground, suddenly feeling dizzy. I pressed a hand to my stomach, and then pulled it away, seeing that it was covered in blood. I fell onto my back right on the sidewalk, looking up at the night sky as everything slowly faded away.

They say when you pass through the veil separating life from death you picture the person that meant the most to you. And that's why I was so shocked when Freddie's face appeared in my mind, and his smile, and his laugh, and everything good about him. That's not possible; I can't love Freddie...

I could barely see anything anymore. The pulsing blackness was closing in, tempting me with eternal sleep. A flash of physical pain jolted down my spine as my last words echoed ominously in my ears, ringing incessently until the tears brimmed in my vision and spilled down my cheeks.

Sometimes I think they'd be better off without me.

I fainted.

I died.

SPARKNOTES:

Hello everyone! I know, a lot of you who read this story in the beginning are probably immensely confused right now because it all looks different. What can I say? I chose to completely remodel the story, keeping the same plot line of course. But now I'm in the process of a complete editing, greatly lengthening the story as I work. It broke the 100,000 word mark, which made me extremely happy.

As for this prologue, I didn't mean to go off on tangents and stuff but the words just sort of flowed from my fingers and onto the keyboard where they were typed, almost unconsciously. The story has taken a mind of its own which I do hope you enjoy.

Now, I entreat you to read on :D

-mktoddsparky