I realise that again its been way over a year since I've updated this and I am deeply sorry for that. I will try to finish my stories, though I'm not sure how often I will update. A lot has happened and changed since I first started these stories and I hate leaving things unfinished, so bear with me and I'll finish them all for you, thanks for being so patient.

Chapter 26

I perch on the windowsill, cigarette in my hand deliberating over yesterday's events. I know I've got about twenty minutes of alone time before Emily emerges from the shower. If not a little longer as she may be thinking things over too.

So much has happened in the last week that I'm struggling to get my head around it all, struggling to understand why it's all gone so wrong, shouldn't falling in love be simple? Especially if the person you fall in love with loves you back? It just seems that each time I'm happy an obstacle comes into play which makes everything fall apart.

I realise I've been thrown a lifeline in Anal here, having her come to a deal with Emily's parents which allows her to stay here as opposed to hours away. But Effy? Why Effy? Why couldn't it be somebody else, why can't Emily ask to be roomed with another student? Why can't I be roomed with another person?

I can feel Emily pulling away from me, and the more and more I think about what she did to me last night, the more it feels like that was a goodbye. She was so distant, so cold towards me, sure there was love there, sure there was feelings, but not like there have been before.

Before I can even contemplate what to do, my minds made up. I get dressed quickly, throwing on the nearest item of clothing I can. I storm out of my room, stomping down the hallway, down the stairs to the room I so desperately need to be. I bang on the door, hoping to god that this person is in, I wait for the door to open, wait impatiently as I knock again. I hear footsteps run towards the door and a weary looking Anal opens, "What is it?" Her worried look dissipates as she sees me. "What is it Naomi?"

"May I come in please?" I calm down, realising I need to be on my best behaviour here. She opens the door wider and lets me in, she motions to the chair as she sits in hers,

"What is it?" she says as she puts away the large mirror on her desk, she was obviously halfway through getting ready.

"Emily" I say simply and she has a sympathetic look on her face,

"I can't do anything about that, Naomi, Emily is a fantastic student and I don't want to lose her, I can't keep her with you"

"Please, her mum will never know," I lean forward, trying to state my case, trying to show her how much I need her help, "I won't tell anybody, I promise"

"My hands are tied, Naomi"

"Look Miss Sutherland, I'm losing her" I say, the tears threatening, "I told her about Effy and myself, and she's become distant"

"I'm afraid that's not my problem" she says, raising her eyebrows, "My problem is not your relationship, Naomi" She sighs, "I've been watching the two of you, and although I should be advising you both against fraternizing, I know how good for each other you both are"

"Then help me please"

"I've turned a blind eye against the both of you, I've heard students talking and gossiping and I was very aware of what was going on, possibly before the both of you were, for that I was wrong and I apologise" I'm actually taken aback. "If I had separated the two of you earlier then it wouldn't have come down to this" she sighs once more "If I had done my job properly, Emily's mother wouldn't have had to get involved"

"But it's not your place to separate us" I say, losing my temper slightly, "Why does separating us become the answer when there is no problem?"

"Because Naomi, there is a problem for Mrs Fitch. This is not a public school, I can't turn around to Mrs Fitch and say that she has not right in telling me how to handle my students because she is paying for her daughter to be here. I have a duty to her, as much as Emily. Even though I see no problem in the two of you sharing a room, I have to do what Mrs Fitch has agreed to otherwise she will remove Emily from this school, do you understand?" I nod,

"I understand, but why Effy?"

"Because she is the only student who has room for Emily"

"Can't you move somebody else and make room for Emily somewhere else?"

"No. Why should I move another student? That is not fair"

"Nor is putting Emily with Effy"

"I realise you have a problem with Elizabeth, but I am not doing this to accommodate you, Naomi, I am doing this to accommodate Mrs Fitch"

"But-"

"That is the end of this discussion Naomi, please return to your room" I can't help the frustrated growl that escapes my lips as I get up out of my chair and storm out of Anal's office. I don't blame her, this is Emily's mum's fault, and I intend to tell her this when I see her.

I slowly make my way up to my room, ignoring the glances of other students as I do. I walk gingerly into the room, peaking my head round to see if Emily is there, and she is. Her eyes lift up to me as I walk in, but almost immediately are back staring at the floor, "Emily, please talk to me" I plead, she shakes her head once, as if she's plucking the courage up to say something she knows is going to hurt me, "Please"

"I love you" She breathes, "But right now, I just need some space Naomi"

"I was honest with you, Em, and this is how I'm repaid"

"you were only honest with me when you had to be, if none of this would have happened I doubt you'd have told me anything"

"That's not true, I've been toying with telling you for the past week"

"But you only told me when you had to!" She practically yells.

"I know, and I'm sorry" I say, the tears threatening once more. It's far too early to be having this argument, "I was scared that I was gonna lose you Emily. I was petrified, I talked myself out of telling you because I've never been so happy, not once in my entire life, and I couldn't cope if I lost you because of one silly mistake"

"You did it twice" She snaps,

"For fuck sake, and both times were because I was struggling with my feelings for you" I say, slamming my arms down in frustration,

"So its my fault now?"

"No, for fuck sake, stop twisting everything I say" I scream, now she stands up, approaching me quickly,

"I'm not fucking twisting, you just said you slept with her because of me, because of your feelings for me, sometimes I think that I'm just huge fucking burden to you, I just think it would be better if we just forgot all of this"

"If you think you can forget it all, then fine, go right ahead" I say, crossing my arms, feeling my heart crack at the realisation of what she just said.

"Well it would be fucking easier wouldn't it?"

"Of course it would Emily, but I'm not with you because it's fucking easy. It's the hardest thing I've ever done is let you in, after everything that's happened I vowed to myself never to let anyone in again, never to let anyone hurt me, but I thought you were different. I eventually convinced myself to let you in and this is what happens. Just forget about me, move in with Effy and get on with your life, I hope you find someone who is so easy to be with, because I know I'm a fucking nightmare!"

"You're not a nightmare, Naomi. Not in the slightest. You're a dream come true, but I can't not be with you. Didn't last week prove that? I couldn't even spend one night away from you. I'm terrified that I'm not going to be able to wake up with you anymore, or fall asleep with you. I can't stand that I'm going to be with Effy, and not you. I hate it, can't you see that?"

"No, I didn't" I soften, "Because you didn't speak to me, after yesterday I thought that's it, you don't want me anymore" I say, the tears spilling,

"Of course I want you" She says, "I've wanted you since I first saw you, and I never want to be without you, that's why I'm being like this." She wraps her arms around me,

"Stop pushing me away Emily, I can't cope, I can't have you push me away because your mum will have won, Katie will have won, I can't lose you, not to them"

"You're not gonna lose me to anyone" She holds me tighter, "I promise"