A/N: I've read all of the alex rider books except for Crocodile tears in the past two weeks. I got hooked, so I decided to write a fic after seeing the utter lack of slash in this fandom. It really isn't a crack-fic but the contents of the story may seem a little crack. A lot of PWP… (but not in this chapter, so don't worry)

Pairing: Yassen/Alex, Wolf/Alex, K-unit/Alex Students/Alex

Disclaimer: Do I look like Anthony Horowitz to you? Wait...

Summary: Alex embarks on his next mission. It is yet another academy, but with students, who are all gay for Alex. K-unit and Yassen may be able to help him with this mission, or deter his efforts.

Alex sipped at his cold orange juice; Jack had poured it for him and now was frying some eggs. He had just finished one of those nightmarish assignments the MI6 sent him on. He quickly ran his fingers over the new bruises he'd acquired from his latest adventure.

Being a spy really wasn't all he'd expected. He'd gone through many things in the past year and sadly to say he hadn't liked them at all. He was just glad that they'd finally let him rest for a while. Having people chase after him with guns wasn't really his idea of fun.

"Here," said Jack, an overly cheerful smile on her face. She was glad that Alex was finally home, she'd missed him. She had nothing to do when he wasn't home except for worry and do pointless tasks. "Scrambled eggs a la Jack."

"Thanks." Alex said. He was exhausted and hungry, even after having 10 hours of sleep. More than he got in two days while on missions. He wolfed the eggs down hungrily and wiped his mouth with the back of his wrist.

"You sure are hungry today, Alex." Jack smiled wistfully, "Were the MI6 not feeding you well?"

Alex had lost a couple of pounds, "No, they fed me fine, well, when I wasn't being chased down anyways."

"Alex…" Jack frowned, "You know you can always say no."

"I know, but somehow they always force me or trick me into another one of those missions, and when I'm halfway done, the fate of a thousand lies on me-- how could I even back down at that point?" Alex said, his voice cracking.

Jack wished that she could empathize, but in reality she had no idea how it was for him on those missions, all she could do was express her deep sympathy and care for this premature boy.

"…Well, it's time for school. You should get ready, and pack that note of yours from the MI6, your teachers will be wondering what sort of disease that stupid organization has forced you to contract this time." Jack diverted the subject and went into the other room to retrieve his schoolbag.

Alex thought about his school, he'd missed more than half the year. He wondered if anyone even knew he was gone. If there was one person, it'd probably be Tom. He always had his back, even if he had to tolerate bullying because he hung out with Alex.

Walking to the door, he grabbed his knapsack and stuffed all that he needed for the day in. He stepped down the stairs, carefully taking in his surroundings and checking for any immediate dangers. He didn't do it on purpose, it wasn't like there was anything to be fearful of, but it was like a habit now.

His bike was in good condition. The wheels were pumped, Jack had done them a few days ago while expecting his arrival. The frame was polished and still looked good. He swung his leg over and stepped on the pedal. He rode all the way to school, only taking a quarter hour.

Being careful, he locked his bike. It was custom from his uncle, so he didn't want it to get stolen. Brookland School, how he'd missed it, even with its ugly red brick walls and snotty students. He'd much rather go to school than go on dangerous missions.

"Alex!" A hand waved in the distance. At one glance, Alex knew it was Tom.

He quickly jogged over to him, "Hey Tom."

They had a quick chat about the recent things Alex had gone through; it was reassuring to have someone by your side that you didn't have to lie to. Although Jack was always there, he couldn't tell all the details that would make her worry.

He'd managed to survive through maths and science with a few quick naps here and there. He dozed off in history though, it was just too uninteresting. The end of school was signaled by the ringing of a loud bell; Alex woke suddenly and rubbed his neck. It was sore from the awkward position he had snoozed off in.

He unlocked his bike and quickly rode home. He didn't have a lot of homework that day, although he was assigned a few pages to read from his maths teacher. It seemed his teachers knew that he wasn't just 'sick', but they still wanted to give him time to 'recover'. That was fine with Alex, he'd rather not have homework.

Alex quickly stripped of his clothing and took a shower, savoring the hot water on his skin. It washed off all his worries. He sighed to himself, no more MI6, no more Yassen Gregorovich, no more K-unit, but was that what he wanted? Even though he was angry at the MI6, Mr. Blunt and Mrs Jones for manipulating him, in the end he always remained alive. Although not unscathed.

He left his thoughts lingering in the shower as he wrapped a towel around his waist and rubbed at his hair with another. He slid his boxers on, they were peach with red stripes. He hopped into bed and closed his eyes, expecting sleep. But his expectations were not met, the phone rang.

Walking over to the phone, he was annoyed. Who would be calling? Although it wasn't uncommon to get calls at around 4 PM, it wasn't often they got calls… Except for from MI6. He prayed to god it wasn't them.

--

God doesn't answer frequently, even if you pray hard. Blunt had summoned him to his office immediately, requesting that he went to that run-down building the next day. Alex reluctantly agreed, even after Jack protested harshly.

He arrived at the entrance. Then a guard appeared to escort him to the correct floor. Even after being called for many times, he still required a guard. Shouldn't he be allowed to go by himself now? He thought coldly.

"Alex! We are glad to see you again." Mrs Jones piped when he walked in the door.

"Alex," said Mr Blunt, coolly.

"What do you want?" Alex wanted to keep it short, although he would probably be briefed for another set of life-threatening tasks.

"Where did you get that attitude of yours-- nevermind that, we have something we'd like you to do." Mrs Jones said. "There seems to be some suspicious activity in this certain academy."

It was like point blank all over again. Alex thought.

"This academy is very open and accepting. It has many students who suffer from mental illnesses or are not accepted because of their race, religion, or sexuality. It seems to be an approving school that is very accepting, usually supported in our society. That is all well. We do not mean to intrude because of that. But, this school is huge, and it's very prestigious. There are also other schools but this one is special. It's very impressive and high-status. The school is huge, and takes up a lot of space in an area called Malvern. The school is very well funded, but by what is our concern. The man funding this school, Archie Connolly seems to be very open-minded and hearted, but we are suspicious of where his funds come from." Mr Blunt continued.

"We think he may have connections within the triads, and Russian mafia. But not just that, he may be conducting some suspicious activity also inside his school. It's invitation-only, for only the openly gay people or people who have been outcasts, or possibly just want to be there who are influential. It's important to find out what's happening there, because there have been a lot of random killings outside of the school. We think it may be drug-related." Mr Blunt said.

"OK. That's nice. What am I supposed to do? I'm not even gay, nor openly-gay. Or suffering from depression." Alex retorted. He hated when the MI6 forced him to do things like these. And now he had to pretend to be gay? That was just too much.

"Well, we were hoping you could go investigate further on this situation." Mrs Jones replied, her voice making it sound more like a demand than a wish.

"Sorry but no. I don't want to do this. You've forced me to go on many missions, but I don't want to do this. I can't be gay or be a drug-addict. I don't want to pretend to have issues." Alex snapped angrily.

"I thought you might say that, but you know, your friend goes there though, maybe you would like to see him again." Mrs Jones said thoughtfully.

"And if that isn't enough to persuade you, we could always take away that illegal grant on the visa your guardian Jack has." Mr Blunt added in, grimly.

"Again with the visa thing, you can't take it… can you? And who goes there? I don't even have many friends due to the gone for half the year position you've put me in." Alex said harshly.

"Yes, actually we can take the visa away because it was only arranged on special notice, by the special operations. And your friend James Sprintz goes there now, his mom asked for his attendance there and he was accepted." Mrs Jones said. She opened another peppermint and popped it in her mouth.

Alex gave them a hard glare, but finally agreed in the end, as he had no choice. Even if they didn't bring up the visa problem, they'd probably get to him in the end anyway. Maybe it would be OK, and their suspicions would be just weird hunches that never lead to anything. Fat chance. But at least he'd get to see James. He hadn't seen him in forever after that Point Blank incident.

"You've left me no option. It's not as if I could refuse, you'd probably blackmail me into doing it." This was said with a defiant stare.

"Sorry, Alex. But we couldn't send any other agents in. They'd look perfectly out of place." Mrs Jones said with her now sickly-sweet breath.

With that, Alex left and dreaded the beginning of his next mission. This one was utterly ridiculous. They were asking too much this time. Maybe he would be forced to join the other side. Yassen seemed to be faring well.

A/N: Sorry. I did this while I was a tad high. And the exact time (after/before which book) will not be specified, as I will have so many story mistakes then. Sorry if it seems a little crack-ish. Because I came up with this idea and I was dying to write it out. Forgive me. Review please? That'll help me write the next chapter.

Also, I'm pretty sure there are 'safe' schools for gays and lesbians, so please don't hate me for that part. My facts aren't exactly proven…