Hell's Bells

A message from Hell...

Dean has something to say to us fans... and it ain't pretty...

Set between S3 and 4.

Warning: Swearing. A strange sense of humour is required.

Author's notes: Yeah, Dean blames us. This is supposed to be a joke, so just roll with it... and any complaints will be met with complete distain, and I'll pass your name onwards to the rest of the fandom, having you marked as a boring over-the-top Politically Correct arsehole/asshole (please delete depending on nationality...)

Onwards...

Dean sighs and glances down at the rack. He's stretched out, each limb secured by metal cuffs, his body spread-eagled. And judging by the look on his face, it's clear he's getting bored.

Already two decades into this kinky shit and he's had enough. He still resists Alistair's offer, though it's hard going. After all, he's had worse, and with his previous encounter with the Double Mint twins just after he brought Sam back, he's done worse. And the kinky little bitches had enjoyed it every bit of it as much as Dean.

Though he could have done without the pastry-shaper nipple clamps...

Still, he's feeling justifiably pissed now. And for good reason. He's finally had time to think... probably the worse torture Hell could have inflicted upon him.

A white screen appears in front of his rack, and it's made up of...

Pixels?

Dean squints, then each pixel becomes a person... and each person is watching him in amazement and horror. Whoever they are, they clearly weren't expecting to see a sight like this on their screens.

Because, suddenly, he realizes who these people are...

He growls angrily and tugs on the cuffs.

Opens his mouth, and proceeds to give the entire Supernatural fandom a massive, all out, no holds barred, bollocking.

You guys have any idea what it's like?

Running for your life, for your eternity, knowing whatever choice you make can end in broken promises?

That no matter what you do, no matter which way you turn, someone's gonna get hurt? Probably the very person you were supposed to protect?

Ya know, a certain little brother?

The one you claim to love almost as much as me?

The one I've often referred to as a major pain in the ass?

My ass as it happens?

You do?

Really?

Well, that's just fucking great...

Ya don't think ya coulda filled me in before I went to hell?

God!

As an audience, you guys just suck ass....

Author's end notes:

Pretty silly I know. But I thought some of you might laugh a little.

Kind regards,

ST xxx.