A/N: This is a oneshot in the First Kiss huddleverse. I know you guys were expecting fluff… and it will come but I had to do this first. This is a little sad so… tissues may be needed.
Beautiful Dawn
Burt opened the door in response to the light knock.
"Finn, thanks for coming over." He was actually glad to see Kurt's boyfriend. Although, he hadn't been sure about Finn at first, he'd proved himself today.
"Hey, Mr. Hummel," Finn said walking in the door.
"Kurt's in his room, but I was hoping I could talk to you for a minute."
"Okay, sure."
They walked into the living room and sat down.
Burt hesitated. He knew what he wanted to say, but actually saying it was the hard part.
"I want to thank you, Finn. For today."
"It was nothing… "
"We both know that's not true," Burt replied.
Finn didn't say anything then, and the silence was a little awkward.
"I hate to admit this," Burt finally continued, "but I've not been a good father to Kurt."
"That's not true!" Finn said. "You're a great dad."
Burt was surprised to hear both the anger and praise in Finn's voice. He remembered then that Finn hadn't ever known his own dad.
"Well, I haven't always been a good father," he said with a sad smile.
"I think you should give yourself a break, Mr. H."
"Maybe… It's just… this day is so hard, you know? It's been ten years, and it's still hard."
Finn was nodding at him, and it encouraged him to continue.
"Kurt was so little when his mom died… only six. My sister came and helped us through it, but even then… I was the one who was a mess. Kurt has always been the strong one… and I let him."
Burt felt his eyes tear up. He really didn't want to cry in front of the kid, but he wasn't sure he could stop the tears from falling.
"Every year on this day, Kurt would stay home from school. I wouldn't go to work either, and we would spend the whole day together. I realize now that it was more about me. I was always a mess. Kurt would make sure I ate and try to cheer me up. We would talk a lot about his mom. Kurt was always strong… for me."
He paused, lost in his thoughts for a moment.
"Now I realize he never had the chance… to really deal with everything. He was always too busy taking care of me. And then today… "
His voice broke, and he had to stop for a minute. He took a deep breath.
"Today, he went to school. It's been ten years. This is the first time he's been to school on this day since his mother died."
Burt looked right at Finn then. "He told me what you did for him, Finn. How you never left his side… the whole day."
Burt shook his head. "I'm still not sure how you got the school to go along with it."
"It wasn't hard," Finn said, with a small smile. "I just had to get Ms. Pillsbury on my side… she kind of owed me one."
Burt wasn't sure what he was referring to but it didn't matter.
"Kurt wouldn't have been able to do it without you, Finn." Burt was grateful to the young man before him but he was also proud. The last few months couldn't have been easy for Finn… admitting to everyone that he was gay. Burt knew he really cared about Kurt.
Finn looked embarrassed but also pleased.
"It's got me thinking. I've been wallowing in my own misery long enough. I need to move on so I can help Kurt move on. I don't mean forget… I could never forget her." Again, he felt the tears in his eyes. "But I can pack up a few of her things…"
"You aren't going to get rid of the dresser, are you?" Finn asked with concern.
"No, I would never do that."
Finn seemed relieved then. They both knew how much that dresser meant to Kurt.
"Anyway, Finn," Burt said wiping the tears from his eyes. "I just wanted to thank you for being there for Kurt. He's not really had that before… "
"That's okay. Your welcome, Mr. H.," he said, interrupting Burt's self-deprecating thoughts before they could get very far. "I love Kurt, and I would do anything for him."
"I know, Finn. I have to admit, I had my doubts at first, but… I can tell how much you care about him."
Burt stood up signaling the conversation was over. Finn seemed relieved, and Burt chuckled to himself.
"You can go on down and see him."
"Thanks, Mr. H.," Finn said before heading down stairs to the basement.
****
Finn was glad to leave the room. He had been uncomfortable with Kurt's dad crying and stuff. He understood what he had been trying to say, though. Kurt had been the one to keep his dad together but now he needed someone to help him. Finn was glad Mr. Hummel was finally ready to step up.
"Kurt?"
"Yeah. Hey, Finn," he said, his voice sounding like he had been crying.
"How are you?"
Kurt was lying on his bed, curled up into a ball and Finn was struck by how little he looked. Finn took off his shoes and stretched out beside him, cradling him in his arms.
"Better now," Kurt whispered as he rested his back against Finn's strong chest.
"I heard you come in earlier. What have you been doing all this time?"
"Talking to your dad," Finn said.
Kurt nodded.
"Thanks for being with me today, Finn."
"No problem, Kurt. I wanted to."
They stayed that way for a while. Neither of them breaking the silence.
"We went to her grave today. We took her yellow roses… that was her favorite."
Finn didn't reply. He just hugged Kurt as tight as he could.
"Did you know my mom was sick for a while before she died?"
"No, I didn't know that, Kurt," he replied.
"Cancer… so we were kind of expecting it… but when it happened… when she died, it was still a shock."
Finn didn't know what to say, so he just ran his fingers lightly through Kurt's hair. His mom always did that to him when he was upset, and it always helped him feel better.
"My dad took me to the hospital when she got really bad. I'm not sure they thought I should be in there but my mom insisted. She said she wanted to see her boy… her Kurtey."
Kurt was crying then and Finn couldn't stop his own tears from falling. He wondered if Kurt had ever really talked about it before.
"My dad had gone to get my mom a drink of water. While he was gone she said to me… 'Kurt, I need you to be strong, okay? When I'm gone your daddy will be lost, and he'll need you.'"
"That's kind of a lot of stuff to put on a little kid," Finn said but then quickly added, "I'm sorry, Kurt." He didn't want to make Kurt mad.
"It's okay, Finn. I actually think it was the best thing she could have done. It gave me a purpose… something to help me. The only thing she didn't count on was that after ten years my dad would still be holding on to her… and he would still need me to take care of him."
"I really think he's gonna be okay now."
"Yeah, me too."
"So I think it's time, Kurt."
"Time? For what?"
"Time you let yourself… be the one to fall apart. I think you need to do that so you can move on."
Kurt was quiet for a while. When he did finally speak, his voice was very soft.
"I'm scared to do that, Finn. What if it hurts so much… if the pain takes over… What if I can't come back?"
"That's why I'm here, Kurt. I'll be with you the whole time." And he pulled the other boy tighter against him.
Kurt's tears started before the words poured out.
"I miss her so much, Finn… Is that stupid? After all this time?"
"No, it's not stupid, Kurt."
Kurt was really crying then, and Finn turned him around to face him. Kurt wrapped his arms around him. Finn held him through the sobs, rubbing his back in comfort.
Finn had never lost anyone close to him… since he hadn't even known his dad. But just the thought of losing his mom… he didn't know if he could take it.
It seemed like hours later… that Kurt's sobs became less and less.
"Finn?" His voice was still shaky.
"Yeah?"
"Could you sing to me? My mom used to sing to me."
"Any special requests?"
"No… I just… I want you to sing."
Finn kissed his cheek as he wiped the tears away. He started singing softly to him.
Oh, why you look so sad?
The tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now.
He wasn't sure he sounded very good since his voice was so shaky, but Kurt didn't seem to mind. He just snuggled closer.
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'Cause I've seen the dark side, too.
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
I won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Kurt closed his eyes as Finn sang softly to him.
So, if you're mad, get mad!
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'Cause even if you're wrong
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
I won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Finn poured his heart into the song. He meant every word.
Take me in into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
And when, when the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
I won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
He sang the chorus over and over, softer and softer. He actually thought Kurt might be asleep. That would be a good thing. Kurt had mentioned earlier that he always had trouble sleeping… on this day…
When the song was over, Kurt opened his eyes and Finn kissed him sweetly. They didn't say anything for a long while.
"My mom would have liked you, Finn." Kurt reached up and touched his face.
"I wish I could have met her."
Kurt nodded and it became quiet again.
"You know, I'm surprised your dad is letting me spend the night," Finn said finally.
"I'm sure he'll be checking on us… to make sure we aren't doing anything we shouldn't," Kurt said with a smile… and Finn was glad to see he was doing better.
"Actually, he's been in here three times already." Finn smiled back at him. "You know, Kurt. I think your dad likes me now."
"Yeah… that's because he's so protective of me," Kurt said.
"I meant what I said, Kurt… when I was singing before… I'll always be here for you. I'll never leave you."
"I know, Finn."
Finn kissed him again before turning him around so his back was once again up against Finn's chest. He wrapped his arms around him and whispered, "I love you, Kurt."
"I love you, too, Finn. Thanks… for being here with me today."
Finn kissed the back of his neck in response and pulled him closer.
It was only a few minutes later… that Kurt was fast asleep.
A/N: Thanks for reading. I want to dedicate this story to my mom. She died a year ago today… and I still miss her.