***Please enjoy this perverted twoshot about Logan's weird obsession with llamas.***
Logan: Yes. Move that set to the Palm Woods. Now. Okay, I need to touch my llama now. Bye!
Carlos: Think of that statement in a really perverted way.
Kendall: You mean about moving the set?
Carlos: No, I mean about Logan touching a llama!
Logan: What the fuck?
James: I'm confuzzled!
Carlos: Imagine Logan giving a llama a blowjob.
Logan: WHAT?
Kendall: That wasn't in the script!
Director: CUT! Carlos! Stop making everyone think dirty thoughts!
Carlos: Never! It's too much fun! Really, guys, imagine that.
(James closes his eyes and smiles really weirdly.)
Logan: uh…
Carlos: James is gay, remember!?
Logan: Oh, shit.
Kendall: JAMES! STOP IMAGINING LOGAN NAKED!
James: Geez, calm down. I do it all the time…
Carlos: That's what she said.
Logan: Damn it, Carlos! It was already wrong! You didn't have to make it worse!
Carlos: Yes I did. So, Logan, what's the most fun to screw: Llamas, Alpacas, or Guanacos?
Logan: What's a guanaco?
Kendall: You should know. You're screwing them!
James: At least one good thing came out of this…wrong conversation.
Kendall: What's that?
James: We now know that Logan's gay.
Carlos: OH MY GOD!
Kendall: HUH?
Logan: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
James: In order to give a llama a blowjob, they have to be male.
Logan: I AM NOT GAY!
James: Oh, crap! I got my hopes up!
Kendall: Then why-
Logan: I AM NOT GIVING LLAMAS BLOWJOBS!
Carlos: Yeah , right now you're not, but…
James: I wish I was that lucky-ass llama.
(Awkward silence)
Logan: I don't know what's weirder: Camille telling me that she thinks the vein that pops out of my neck when I'm stressed is adorable (and the author agreeing), or James' comment…
Kendall/Carlos: James' comment.
(All of a sudden, a guy resembling a llama walks over. He has big ears, a snout-ish nose, and a lot of facial hair like fur. He also spits. A lot.)
Llama Guy: Boys! We have to go back to shooting! This episode is supposed to air next week!
(Llama Guy walks away.)
Carlos: You and your llama sex partner have a bit of explaining to do…
James: He looked more like an alpaca to me…
Kendall: I don't wanna know how you can tell…
James: His butt was kinda fucked-up.
Carlos: And you were looking there because?
Logan: Wow, that's disturbing…
Carlos: Hey! It's your fault he's here! Next time use a condom!