Wow. Just a little something that popped into my head and i had to write down, 'cause i thought it was so funny. I hope ya'al enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek


Kidney Love

By Laura Ferrri

"Casey, you're being ridiculous."

The irony of this statement makes Casey want to puke. She sits up and sticks out her hand toward him.

"Hi, my name's pot. Who are you?"

And, Derek shoves her hand out of the way, because she didn't say it with as much venom as usual, and the thought makes him feel sick. "Fucking common sense."

She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, never thought I'd see the day where you would claim to be the sensible one." He doesn't respond and she continues, "Whatever, look. I'm really tired and arguing is probably not the best thing for me right now."

"Derek?"

And, he turns away from her. Because he doesn't even know who she is anymore, and he guesses he never really did. He pulls a hand through his hair in utter frustration. Because suddenly, his life makes absolutely zero sense.

"Derek, say something."

"Why the hell didn't you tell me you had diabetes, Casey?" He whips around and stares at her. She stares back, laying there, in this sickly white colored room, and the disgustingly white colored sheets. How this makes anyone get better, he doesn't know. "I thought we were… I just thought you would tell me something like this."

"Yeah, well, Derek, this doesn't have anything to do with you." She closed her eyes. "And, it isn't your problem."

"Casey," He shakes his head at her. Doesn't she know anything? Anything to do with Casey McDonald is his problem. Ask anyone who went to school with them, from high school to college. "I lived with you for three years, how did I not know? I mean all that healthy shit! How did I not put it together? I mean, how could you not tell me?"

"Because it wasn't killing me, Derek. Diabetes is actually a very controllable disease." She smiles, because yeah, she does realize she's laying in a hospital bed on her death bed, but right now, with Derek, there was no place she'd rather be. "Lighten up, Derek. I don't need you to go all Debbie Downer on me, okay? This place is sad enough. It's just a little kidney failure."

He scoffed. "Yeah, so little that you need that fucking catheter in you."

"Shut up, Derek!"

"Like I said earlier," She looks up at him as he sits down on the side of her bed. "I got tested and we're a match."

If possible her face turns whiter. "No."

"And, the doctor said all you had to do was sign off on it and-"

"Derek! No!" She spat, folding her arms across her chest.

"Casey, I wasn't asking you! I was telling you!"

"That chauvinistic stuff may work on your bombshell bimbos, but it doesn't work on me. Even in a hospital."

"Casey, take the fucking kidney!"

"Read my lips: Hell. No." She lies down and flips the other way so she can't see him.

"I have two perfectly functioning kidneys."

"Yeah!" She says. "Exactly. And, it's gonna stay that way."

Derek yells. "No, the hell it isn't!" He grabs her face in between his two hands. "Take my fucking kidney or I'm gonna shove it down your throat!"

"Derek, you're being overdramatic!"

"Well, you're being under dramatic." He whines. And, he realizes that this whole begging thing, yeah, it's not for him. "I don't think you understand the situation, Casey. You're dying. You need a kidney. I have one. Everybody wins."

"Derek, if it's my time to go-"

He quickly covers his ears. "Oh, for the love of my genuine Oilers hockey stick, do not give me that "if it's my time to go" mumbo jumbo! Please!"

"Derek, what do I look like? Taking a kidney from you?" He always knew she was crazy, but it seemed the bar raised when she was on her death bed. "I've taken everything from you."

"Casey, don't-"

She insists. "I have! You said so yourself! Your house, your friends, your school. And, I'm sorry, but I refuse to take one more thing away from you."

"Casey, when I said that stuff when we were kids I was just kidding." His eyes are blazing with fire, because the one time, the ONLY time, she ever listens to him and it's literally going to killing her.

"Look me in the eye and swear that you didn't mean that stuff when you said it."

He looks her straight in the eyes. "I didn't mean it."

She stares at him for a second and then clicks her tongue. "Why, Derek Venturi, I think you're losing your gift!"

He rolls his eyes. "Casey, it doesn't matter if I meant it or not. You're not dying." He pauses. "Well, not before me."

"What?" He gets up off her bed and heads for the door. "Derek, what are you talking about?"

"Nothing." He huffs. "Just nothing."

Casey smirked. "If you have something to tell me, something big, you should tell me." When he didn't respond she added, "Before I, you know, start pushin' up daisies."

He didn't laugh. "That's not funny."

"When did you become so serious?" Casey stares at him in confusion.

"Okay, listen, Case, this is how it goes." He coughs. "You have to take my kidney – No, I'm not done – You have to take my kidney because I can't live in a world where you don't exist. I can't wake up every morning and know that I can't pick up a phone and pick a fight with you. I can't not randomly stop by your house hoping to interrupt one of you and Truman's dates. I can't… I can't…" Tears fill his eyes. "I can't let you die when I have something that can keep you alive. With me. I can't have you die without you ever knowing how I f-feel about you."

She raised her eyebrows. "How's that?"

"I-I-I love-love you." He spits out. "I love you."

Casey's eyes dart around the room for a moment uncomfortably and then she whispers, "Well, I love you too, Derek."

"No, Casey, I'm in love with you."

She freezes. "Like, how?"

"Whaddaya mean 'like how'?" He shoots out. "I just poured out my fucking heart to you and you're asking me how I love you?"

"Yes, I'm dying remember? I can ask anything I want." And, because she knows she wins that argument she goes, "Like are you 'I think you're the coolest person ever' in love with me or are you-"

"I'm 'I wanna give you my kidney in love with you'. Always have been." He rushes out.

She breaks out into a huge wide smile and sits up. "Well, are you just gonna stand there or are you gonna show me?"

And, he was over to her side of the room in two steps. His mouth crashed on top of hers and she felt him smile on her lips.

"I'm in love with you, too, Derek."

He mumbles against her neck. "Like how?" She rolls her eyes. "Like 'I wanna go on a million dates with you' in love with me or 'I'm gonna let you give me your kidney' in love with me."

He pulls his head up to look at her in the eye and she laughs. "'I'm gonna let you give me your kidney' in love with you." He smiles this huge smile and she rushes to say, "And, only because clearly, you'd be lost without me. Not because I wanted to."

"Whatever, Case."

And, damn. He was a good kisser.


Hey, hope you guys liked it!

Don't forget to review. Laura :)