Disclaimer: Rob Thurman owns my soul, but I own nothing at all except for this laptop.

Characters: Sam, Dean, Cal, Niko, and various baddies

Setting: Before AHBL and Deathwish

Warnings: All right, so here's the thing: if you hated the entire premise of the Supernatural episode "Jump the Shark," turn back now, because you will not like this story. There are no spoilers for that episode, and in fact, it is AU from said episode, but you still will not like this story if you hated the idea of Adam. There. You have been warned.

Prologue

"Ngh…man, why are we still out here?"

Niko Leandros raised one eyebrow and reached out to twist one of his brother's ears, hard. "Because, young grasshopper, tonight we are doing what we do every other night."

"Try to take over the world?"

"Excuse me?"

"…Never mind. But seriously, we've been looking for this stupid thing for five hours! You don't seriously think we're gonna find it this time, do you?"

"Perhaps, perhaps not. But money is money, Cal."

"Yeah, well, all I can say is that this has gotta be the most annoying hundred bucks we've ever made. If we even make it."

"We will, one way or another. Leandros Co. has never failed yet."

"Really? Interesting viewpoint you have."

"Stop talking now, please."

"Why? It's not like there's anything around to hear us—"

"Well, I hate to break it to you, kiddo, but you're wrong on that count."

The effect of these words, spoken as they were by a strange, smooth voice, had an instant effect. Cal swore under his breath and reached for his gun while Niko eased a shoulder in front of him, slid a sword from the sheath strapped to his back, and said calmly, "You see, Cal, what comes from your unnecessarily loud whining?"

"Yeah, Cal, buddy, you should really work on that. After all, you never know what bad, bad people could be lurking in a place like this."

"Cal?" Niko said, still calmly and without taking his eyes off the very man-shaped figure standing not ten feet from them.

Cal shook his head. "Definitely not a people. It smells like…like burning matches."

And just like that, the confusion that only Cal could have read in his brother faded and Niko murmured, "Ah. Well, that certainly clears things up. You may as well put your gun away, brother. It won't work. And we'll have a talk about your grammar later." As he spoke, he made his sword disappear under his duster and produced a flask at the same time.

"Uh…Nik? I know you're a man of many talents, but do you really think drinking…whatever that thing is…under the table is going to work?"

Niko was about to answer—probably in the form of something painful for Cal-when the human-shaped figure vanished, as if into thin air.

"Uh…okay…" Cal said slowly, relaxing his stance. "Well, that was wei—"

But Niko cut him off with a sharp, "Move." He turned around as he spoke, his hand extending to pull Cal behind him—

And then the night went very abruptly from boring to bloody as the creature finally struck.

Author's Note: Okay, so I'm having some issues with uploading things—document manager hates me—so my updates will be even more sporadic than usual for a while. I think I've come up with a temporary solution, but it could go poof anytime. I hope it doesn't, though…

Well, anyways, all—review, please!

TBC