PART 1 – THE FUNERAL

The bells rang tunelessly, thundering out the loud dinging sounds that lingered eerily in the air. Finally the silence prevailed and the last notes of the melody died.

Eyes glazed over, Haruhi stared, into space as the proceedings took place. She could hear the hymns, all sung in a mournful slow beat, and people standing at the front doing speeches full of meaningless words in front of an unnecessarily large and elaborate gravestone. They ranged from formal business-like talks from people she had never seen before but she presumed had some form of family business link, to hundreds of weeping sobbing girls, their voices cracking in emotion.

Haruhi was stood next to Hikaru and Kaoru, each had tears pouring down their faces and dropping off their chins and noses. She could vaguely see Kyoya in front of her. He had not lifted his head once during the whole proceeding in an attempt to remain dignified. Only if you looked carefully could you see small tears trickle down his face.

Finally the body was lowered down into the grave. Everything else was a blur.

People were talking and sobbing but every sound was hazy, disjointed. She vaguely felt people pat her on the back or talk to her but all she could do was mindlessly nod back. Eventually everyone filtered out of the church grounds as the rain began to fall.

"Haruhi, would you like a lift?"

Haruhi made no response and continued to stare at the filled up hole where her friend now lay.

'It's all your fault' she shook her head once more, no longer able to contain the hot, torturing tears.

(... flashback)

Laughter was surrounding her, it was Friday afternoon and all seven of them were heading home, or at least to their large black cars. They bid adieu to Hunny and Mori and eventually to the twins and Kyoya as well. Finally, it was just Haruhi and Tamaki. The frosty December breeze was swirling up and hitting them with vengeance.

"You'd better hurry up and get into Kyoya's car Tamaki; you're going to get cold!"

Tamaki smiled, before signalling to Kyoya who nodded and subsequently instructed his driver. They veered of out of the school lane.

"I thought I'd walk you home today, because it's no fun walking home on your own in the cold! He announced before grinning at her and setting off.

Baffled but actually quite pleased Haruhi quickly caught up and the two began to walk home, chatting happily, giggling and steadying each other as they slipped and slided on the ice.

They were nearly at Haruhi's home, painfully close. They were talking when suddenly, Haruhi tripped on unexpected piece of ice. It took them both by surprise and before she even had time to catch herself she went flying head first and tripped over the curve.

In pain, she steadied herself, eyes shut as she rubbed her head to sooth it.

"HARUHI!" She opened her eyes.

A blinding light.

A woman somewhere screamed,

A woman somewhere screamed.

Cars were beeping.

She felt something push her hard and she fell once again onto the floor, confused and scared.

There was an almighty crash and a screech of wheels. Opening her eyes, all Haruhi could see was blood. Still unsure what had happened, she looked around. There he was, broken and twisted, lying where she had been mere seconds ago.

Haruhi ran to him, screamed his name, shaking him violently. Passersby were now surrounding them and sirens could be heard in the background. People were shouting something but she couldn't hear them, Tamaki was now lying on her knee, eyes still open and staring at her. Still beautifully blue, but the spark had gone - they were dull and lifeless.

In her arms, she cradled the now very dead Tamaki...

"Haruhi! Would you like a lift?" Haruhi felt somebody gently shake her. She stared around in surprise as everything started to focus again.

"Nekozawa" She stuttered in surprise. She hadn't even noticed he was there.

"Ah, no thank you, I want to stay here, just a little longer"

He nodded at her almost knowingly and headed off, leaving Haruhi alone in the now empty graveyard.

She sat down on the wet muddy grass next to his headstone.

"It's all your fault" she told herself again.

"I know! I know it's all my fault. It should be me down there, Tamaki, not you!" She sniffed and wiped her nose uncaringly on her sleeve.

"All the things I should have said, wanted to say! I never got the chance, things like… how much you meant to me! You meant so much. And about how happy I was to be with you and the host club!"

"But most importantly... I really, really wanted to tell you... I lov... I love.." Haruhi stopped as her throat became too choked up with tears. Placing her head in her hands she let out loud sobs.

Finally, she stood up and placed her rose along with the others, all lying by his tomb.

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice thick with emotion. Taking off her scarf, she stood on her tiptoes and wrapped it around the statue's neck.

"Why should I be warm when you're down in the cold earth because of me?" She mouthed, words no longer coming out.

And with that, she turned to leave the graveyard.

In the corner of the graveyard still remained one person. His body hidden in the shade of a great cherry blossom tree, he had watched and heard Haruhi's words and was now watching her leave.

Once she had gone, he carefully picked up the scarf and rose she had lain. He knew it would be difficult, but he knew what he must do...