Pawning her father's things doesn't let Gwen forget: each time she comes across a letter of his, some toy she'd played with when she was young, she remembers him, his brow furrowed in thought as he penned these words, giggling with him when she was just a young girl. Of course, she keeps these things, hiding them once more, instead going through his clothes to sell them, wishing she didn't need the money so badly - even his clothes still carry his scent. Gwen wishes she could tell the world that her father is dead, thinks that if she does all traces of him will disappear and she won't have to remember any longer. (Then again, if she did, she couldn't remember any longer. She isn't sure which she wants more.)
Gwen comes to Morgana the next day, tired and distraught. She hides her face and bids the tears away when she presents Morgana a bouquet of flowers, which her mistress receives happily - until she notices Gwen's expression.
Without words, without explanation, Gwen submits to the warmth of Morgana's body against hers, of Morgana's soothing voice in her ear.
-
Gwen had insisted she wasn't worth it.
"My father just bought me a dress, Morgana," she repeats for the umpteenth time. Morgana, despite her beauty, does not have ears, or does not use them.
"Which you haven't worn," Morgana responds, not coldly, nor in accusation, but simply, as if she knows that the reason Gwen hasn't worn the dress Tom bought is because Gwen has thought of pawning it as a way of pawning her remaining memories of her father, and mostly because he bought it so shortly before his death that it hurts even to look at it. (She keeps it with the clothes of his she's bothered to keep, so that when she does take it out to let it sting her, it smells of him.)
They go not to the store Gwen is used to shopping in - the peasant's store - but instead they go to a store with nicer, more expensive, clothes. Tom had bought her an expensive dress, yes, but even it wasn't as expensive as these would be.
Gwen feigns interest in all of the dresses Morgana points out to her; she won't let herself be interested in any of them. The shopkeeper regards Gwen rather disdainfully, as if wondering why on earth her mistress would even think of letting her in here.
Finally, Morgana seems to decide on one, gasps and holds it against Gwen's skin. "It will look lovely, Gwen, please," and Gwen can't not.
She puts it on and feels self-conscious - it's tighter than her usual dresses and shows her bosom off more. The shopkeeper reluctantly fits it for her, promises to have it ready soon. Morgana won't let Gwen near as she pays for it, but Gwen still can't believe she's been drawn into this.
-
Morgana collects Gwen when the dress is ready, and Gwen finds that Morgana's ordered a shawl for her as well. Morgana makes her wear the dress out, and they stop by her hovel to put her old dress away (in the drawer with Tom's clothes, Morgana doesn't ask questions). Even the quick walk from the shop to Gwen's home is strange: people turn to look at them, and Gwen notices their eyes not only rest on Morgana but on her as well. Gwen looks down. "You look beautiful," Morgana says. Gwen looks up long enough to look into Morgana's eyes and knows she's telling the truth.
-
They near the castle gates, but Morgana draws them away. "My lady," Gwen starts, and doesn't finish.
"Come on, Guinevere," Morgana shouts behind her as she hurries toward the wood. Gwen follows her and, when she catches up to her, Morgana grabs her hand, turns and smiles.
They reach the field where Gwen is accustomed to getting flowers. Morgana bends down to pick at some flowers, and Gwen can only watch her. "What -?"
"Here," Morgana says, breathless, returning to Guinevere, holding out a few small blossoms. "Turn around."
Gwen feels Morgana press a few of the tiny flowers into her hair.
"Lovely," Morgana whispers behind her, and brushes a hair away from the nape of her neck. Gwen turns back around and notices that Morgana still holds a few flowers. She takes one from her and tucks it behind Morgana's ear.
"Thank you," Gwen says. "I still think you shouldn't have wasted your money on me, but thank you."
Morgana drops the flowers and presses her lips to Gwen's. "I would waste the world for you, Guinevere."
Gwen can only sigh and relent. "My lady."