A/N - So this is the last chapter. I always knew that I wanted to use this quote but to change the context and the tone such that Sarah's reply indicates not that she's closed herself off but that she's always let Chuck in. Hopefully it works. Thanks to all who have read and reviewed.

Chuck vs The Cardinal Rule

Because I don't want to hurt you.

Chuck Bartowski

Don't worry Chuck, you can't.

Sarah Walker

"Shhhhh." The voice is accompanied with a serious look and a waggle of eyebrows as the dark haired young man peers cautiously out the window before giving the signal to move. It's then that he hears the sound he has been expecting and dreading all along. He blinks against the harsh light that floods the room and holds up his hands in defeat as he looks at the couple standing in the doorway. "I told you to keep quiet." He whispers to Morgan as he sighs in defeat. He hears Morgan junior drop the rope and flashlight on the ground before cowering behind him.

"Casey Stephen Bartowski." He winces at the full use of his name knowing that she's really angry this time and even as he tries to catch his father's eye, he can see that he needs to go into damage control.

"I was just coming out to the party, I swear. We were just going to the garage to check Morgan's new old car. To see if it'll hold for the long ride tomorrow. "The grin he flashes her makes full use of his dimples but to no avail as he sees her hands go on her hips and her eyes bore into his. "Umm, come on, mom. It's not like I know anyone because they'll all your friends." He hates the slight whine in his voice and can see his dad imperceptibly shake his head at his comment. "I mean.." He tries to back pedal only to see her raised eyebrows as he falls silent.

"The party was meant for you. All our friends wanted to be here to send you off to college. All of our friends who have seen you grow up and all their children whom you have grown up with including Morgan junior."Giving Morgan a look that tells him he should have known better and that she was probably going to have a word with his dad.

Sarah runs her hand through her air as she expels her breath, knowing that they're all tense not because of a mission or a job or because there's a secret organization bent on taking over the world..She knows they're tense because their family unit was going to change yet again. She feels Chuck's hand encircle hers as he gives it a squeeze and just like that, she can feel the tension drain away as he speaks.

"So, let's just pretend that you boys did not try to sneak out of a party thrown especially for you and let's get back to it and appreciate what your mom has done." Chuck's almost certain that it's a hereditary trait to try and get out of parties thrown by any Bartowski women. He still manages to hide his smile though as he son passes by them.

However, instead of following the boys back downstairs, he pulls Sarah into the room, shutting the door behind them as he pushes her against it and kisses her. His other hand tangled in her hair as he holds his entire body flush against hers, wanting as much contact as possible.

"What are you doing?" He hears her breathless words as he slowly places kisses down her neck, feeling her shiver at each contact.

"If it's not that clear, allow me to demonstrate further." This time, he nips the side of her neck playfully before once again finding her lips to give her a soul searing kiss. One hand now at the small of her back, his fingers skimming the top of her skirt while the other held over her heart, felling the slight flutter beneath his fingers as it covers the slope of her breast.

"The party?" It's phrased as a question but he knows that she's not about to stop him at least not yet as she lets her arms encircle his neck , pulling him towards her.

"You're right." Chuck let's her go and immediately feels the sense of loss as he steps back and takes in the myriad of emotions playing across her features; surprise, arousal, anger and at last, understanding and that beautiful look that lets him know that she loves him, above all else and despite everything.

"You're an idiot." Sarah tempers her words with a smile because he knows her so well, reading her face and posture, knowing that she needed a slight release, something to take her mind off the fact that their son would leave them tomorrow.

"Yes, but I'm your idiot and you love me." She loved him enough to come back to him, again and again. Through a coma, her anger at his broken promise of not working for the government and the fiasco with her father. Through three beautiful children and seventeen years of marriage. He cannot stay away from her for long as he reaches out to take her hand, while he caresses her cheek before bending down to kiss her once again.

"Yeah, I love you."

She remembers the memory as if it happened yesterday. The smell and feel of Chuck, the emotions coursing through her body, love for her husband and family, fear as always for their safety and above all else, an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the time and experiences she had been blessed with.

She stares at the cold metal case in her hand and does not want to read the letter now because she knows everything. They had their life together and she had loved every second of it. However, she can still hear him, his dry chuckle and picture his eyes as he would look at her waggling his eyebrows to get a reaction. She glances over at his still form in the hospital bed. Knowing that they have had their roles reversed before. Only he hadn't been shot but had undergone a quadruple bypass. At least his heart lasted him all of his seventy two years and hopefully a few more now.

He had told her about the letter before the operation, mentioning it between telling her where the deeds to the houses were and repeated declarations of love for her and their growing family (three grown and married children and seven grandchildren. Not to mention their extended families of Grimes's, Casey's and Woodcomb's).

Sarah does not need the words, knowing that he's shown her everything in their years together. But still, he had told her of it and as she takes his hand in hers, she finally understands that she needs to know this experience because it's something he had gone through for her. He's never wanted to hurt her and even now, she gets that he's still protecting her and he's done it by asking her to read the letter.

My name is Chuck Bartowski and I am an ordinary guy. Well to be honest, I'm an ordinary guy who's led an extraordinary life because of you. I've lived all because of you.

You've been the one constant in my life, always there with me, surrounding me with love, strengthening my resolve when I wanted to give up, giving me the life I've always needed. Please always remember that you are my one constant and I do hope that when you finish reading this letter you will still remain so I've never wanted to keep secrets from you and I have abided by that promise all except once.

You awoke from your coma and we made a promise to quit and we did. When Carina called for help, I wanted to tell you but in the end, I was selfish and wanted to protect you more. I know you're reading this knowing what had happened. Probably shaking your head as you recall how in the end, you had to come in guns a blazing and saving our lives (you've always saved me). You were so angry, not because I wanted to save Carina but because I had to promise Beckman to do some more missions in order to stage the rescue. I told you everything, never wanting to keep a secret from you.

Except, I have. Know that every decision I have made has been colored by my love for you and even this one was made in that context. I will not use that as an excuse and only hope that you'll understand my reasons.

We moved to Palo Alto for Casey and Josh's grade school and you were pregnant with Meaghan and we were happy, normal. I had been so scared that it would not be what you wanted but you reveled in it, the normalcy, the bake sales and little league games, even putting up with my long hours at our start up and yet, we flourished. I never thought I could love you more but each day you proved me wrong.

So when he called, I thought it would mean we could be a full family. Jack loved you (not as much as me) but he was your dad and he loved you. I thought he'd change like you did. Accepted his word that he wanted to retire and I ignore John's warning. I ignored all the signs that pointed to his one last big score. I wanted him to be normal for you and in the end, you paid the price.

He didn't betray you because I did. If I had stopped him, you wouldn't have lost your father and gone into premature labor. I'm so sorry for not telling you that I knew and yet I did not stop him. That I let him go to that meeting knowing that he was going to pull off a con. I could have prevented you from picking up the phone only to hear of his death and I wish I could have caught you as you fell. And after all of that, I wished that I had the courage to tell you the truth, to not hurt you.

Meaghan's early years took was such a toll on you, the visits to the doctor's and the countless of surgeries and yet you were always the strong one, holding our family together. Looking after the boys and pulling me back from drowning my sorrows in drink. You were the only one who believed in me and in our family and I love you.

You have every right to get angry and never forgive me. You have every right to leave. In fact, that's exactly what you need to do, forget about me but always remember that you were loved. You've always been my reason to live and even if I can't be there physically for you, you need to know that you've always been there for me.

Always

Chuck

She feels the tears rolling down her cheeks and wipes them away with the back of her hand as she continues to hold his hand in hers. "You're an idiot." Her words are soft and even softer is his reply. "Yeah…but I'm…your..idiot."

He blinks his eyes open and can see her, sitting by his bed looking as if forty years had not gone by. "You read…it?" He knows her so well and he knows she knows it too. He never needed the letter to clear his conscience but to let her move on should anything happen to him, to give her something to get angry at. None of his choices were ever meant to hurt her. "I never meant…to hurt you."

Sarah smiles at her husband, loving him more today than she did yesterday and knowing that she'll love him even more tomorrow.

"Don't worry Chuck, you can't."

The End

This is your last chance to review :) Thanks so much for reading and sticking with this series.