bTitle:/b Cut Adrift

bCharacter(s):/b Tony, Abby (with mentions of the rest of the team)

bPairing(s):/b None

bGenre(s):/b Angst

bEpisode(s):/b Hiatus, Part 2

bCrossover(s):/b No

bWord Count:/b 920

It had been three hours since Gibbs left, leaving Tony with the former agent's badge and gun, and no more confirmation of his ability to lead than a "you'll do." The tension was so high in the bull pen that Tony felt he would implode if he didn't get away soon.

Ziva was confused and angry and was bordering on hostile toward Tony. DiNozzo knew that it was really nothing personal. Ziva didn't like to feel vulnerable or scared or confused. She did 'angry' much better, so all of those emotions just came out as rage. Tony happened to be the most logical - not to mention closest - available target.

McGee was wandering around like a lost puppy. Tim had been starting to come into his own and was becoming a good agent, but Gibbs' abandonment of the team so close on the heels of almost losing the older man undermined the younger agent's self-confidence, as well confused him. Tony knew Tim was overwhelmed when he didn't say anything about Tony being left in charge. McGee had actually started to become a good verbal sparring partner, giving as good as he got. But in the hours since Gibbs quit, Tim had hardly said two words.

Tony, himself, felt like a kite with a broken string. He was flying wherever the wind took him, with no real direction, and he really couldn't stand it any longer. He knew he would find his way eventually. He knew he could be a good leader. But right now, it was like trying to lead the traumatized crew of a ship whose captain had just been killed. He needed to be someplace where he didn't have to try to be the leader, and where he didn't have to defend himself for having to try to be the leader. He headed to Abby's lab.

Unfortunately, the mood there wasn't much better. There was no music, and at first, no Abby. It took Tony a while to find her sitting at her desk in the back room, which was also silent. He'd never seen a depressed Abby, a silent Abby. He didn't think he liked it much at all.

"Hey Abs," Tony said as he cocked a hip onto the corner of her desk. "How are you holding up? It's not a pretty sight upstairs."

"Not really so pretty here either," she admitted. They were silent for a while and then she continued, "I keep waiting for him to come back, Tony. I mean, I know with his memory loss and all, it's understandable that he might not really be himself, but Gibbs doesn't quit! Not for any reason. Not ever!"

"I know Abs." Tony agreed. "Not usually, but, like you said, he's not quite himself right now. I'm not sure he would have left me in charge if he had been himself. God knows neither Ziva or McGee seem to like that fact." Tony paused and then admitted. "I'm not sure I like that fact."

"You'll make a good leader, Tony. Of course Gibbs would want you to lead if he couldn't. You're his second on command, after all." Abby tried to support Tony even though she was clearly at a loss through all this, herself. "I always knew he was grooming you to take over for him when he retired. I just thought we'd have years and years, yet, before that happened."

"I always thought he'd die in the line of duty before he retired… or be killed by an ex-wife."

Abby managed a small smile at Tony's attempted humor. "He'll be back! There's no way he can stay away. It's just because of the amnesia thing. He'll get wherever he's going and he'll realize he can't live without us, and he'll be back."

"I hope you're right Abs, but you didn't see his face. He was angry at the stupidity of the powers that be. He was tired… and I never thought I'd ever say this about Gibbs, but he looked… defeated." Tony paused and said the words he'd been thinking but hadn't admitted out loud until now. "I really don't think he'll be back. I'm not sure we ever got our Gibbs back from the explosion, and now I'm pretty sure we never will."

Abby actually lunged out of her chair and hit squarely in the chest. "Don't you say that! He'll be back! He has to come back."

Tony put his arms around her and allowed her to hit him a couple of times on the chest. There was really no power behind the blows. It wasn't like she was hurting him, and he could tolerate an angry Abby a lot better than he could a silent, depressed one. Soon enough though, her brief bout of anger played out and she collapsed in his arms.

"Tell me he'll be back, Tony!"

He hugged her tighter and put his chin on her head. "I wish I could Abs." He'd give anything to be able to tell her that…to truly believe that, but he didn't believe it and couldn't say it. For whatever reason, Gibbs had cut them loose and they were all adrift right now. He knew they'd find their footing sooner or later. They were all good at their jobs, with or without Gibbs, but Gibbs was – had been – more than their boss. He had been their leader. They needed him, and Tony desperately wished he could tell Abby the older man would return. "I really wish I could, Abs."

End