1 Who Cares What You Did Last Summer.
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5 Scene 1: Ghost stories.
Stu, Julie and Barry are sitting around in circle in the lounge room.
Stu: So the boy and boy are making out right, when they hear over the radio that this lunatic killer's escaped from an insane asylum. He's got this long, sharp potato masher as a hand.
Barry: No. You're telling it wrong. I think it's boy and girl making out.
Stu: Shut up. So one of the boys gets all scared right and the other boy all hot and bothered, he gets really mad and peels out.
Barry: No,no,no. That's not the way it goes. Okay the boy goes for help while the girl stays in the car and she hears like this scratching sound…
Julie: It's not a scratching sound it's a drup, drup, drup!
Barry: No. It's a scratching sound because the guys cat is locked in the boot trying to get out.
Julie: No, no, he's been decapitated and his head is on the car roof with blood dripping out of it going drup, drup, drup.
Stu: No he wasn't decapitated, he was gutted with a potato masher.
Everybody looks at him.
Stu: That's the way I heard it.
Julie: Look we're all wrong. They get back to the girl's house and then find the lunatics bloody potato mashers in the car door and they all lived happily ever after. Now that's the original story. That's the way it really happened.
Barry: Hey, hey. None of it really happened it's a made up ghost story to begin with.
Julie: No it's not. It's true.
Stu: Yeah I don't think say Julie.
Julie: I swear it.
Barry: Jeez, it's a fictional story created to warn young people the dangers of using pre-marital potato mashers.
Julie: Well actually, Porgy and you know how terrified I am of your IQ. It's an urban legend.
Stu: Wasn't that some crappy horror movie?
Barry: Yeah.
Julie: It's American folklore and they usually originated from some real life incident.
She looks at everyone then smiles.
Stu: I never did like horror stories or movies.
Barry: Why?
Stu: They're all the same. Some killer chasing some stupid victim who then falls and trips and the killer stabs him. It's insulting. To the killer he shouldn't have to catch them when they fall down he should just throw his knife at them or shoot them.
Scene 1: The Killing
Barry: Hmmm. Let's play a game now.
Music is in the background.
Julie: Well okay, but it has to be safe..
Stu: Like…
Barry pulls a knife out of his pocket.
Barry: Catch the knife!
He throws the knife to Stu.
It hits him in the hand.
Stu: Ow! My hand!
Stu throws it to Julie.
It hits her leg.
Julie: Ah.
Barry: You can't throw for jack. You know that.
She throws it to Barry.
Barry: This is how you catch it.
Barry catches it in his mouth.
Barry: Stu what the hell is this crap?
He turns on cool music and puts his hands up in the air and shouts.
Barry: Get ready for a hard one.
He throws it to Stu.
Julie: Watch out!
It hits someone.
Julie: What was that?
Morgan: I don't know.
Julie: Is everybody okay?
Morgan: Yeah. What's that?
He runs over a picks a bloody knife off the floor.
Julie: Blood!
Morgan: It's not mine. It must have hit a dog or something.
Julie: A dog couldn't have done that.
Morgan: A deer could. My dad is going to freak. That was his best knife.
Julie: Where is it?
Morgan: What?
Julie: If that was a deer, then where is it?
Morgan: Maybe it ran off.
Julie notices something: Oh my god!
She runs over and picks up a gumboot.
Morgan: No way.
Julie: Oh!
Morgan: I didn't see it.
Julie: Weren't you aiming for him?
Morgan: No.
Julie throws the boot down: Oh my god this isn't happening!
Morgan: There is no way.
He runs up to a cupboard and grabs some torches. He turns one on and hands it to Julie.
They start walking.
Julie: Noooo!
Morgan: I couldn't see it I swear!
Julie: Is he dead?
Morgan: I don't know.
Julie: Check his pulse.
Morgan: No way.
Julie: You're the one who stabbed him.
Morgan goes up to the body and feels his wrist.
Morgan: I think he's dead.
Julie: Who is he?
Morgan: I can't tell. His face is all messed up.
Julie: What was he doing out here?
Morgan: We have to call the police.
Julie: Let's just think about this for a minute.
Morgan: Think about what? He walked into our house in the middle of night. Okay it was an accident. I wasn't drinking or being stupid. Oh wait yes I was.
Julie: Even if we did tell the police, we'd go down for manslaughter.
Morgan: Then we leave right now. Run away forever.
Julie: Don't you get it? If there's some of him on the knife, then there's some of the knife on him. They'll trace it back to you. You'll be looking at a stab and run.
Morgan: But then what are we going to do?
Julie: We'll hide the body tonight and dump it somewhere tomorrow.
Morgan: Where?
Julie: Upstairs.
They pick Stu up and carry him upstairs.
Julie: In here.
They put him down in the laundry and cover him with towels.
The knife is still obviously seen but they are oblivious to this.
Barry: Do you think he's well hidden?
Julie: Yeah. Anyway dad never goes near the washing that's Betty the maid's job.
Barry: But won't Betty find him?
Julie: I'll tell her I'll do the washing this week.
Barry: Good. Well I'd better be getting home.
Julie: Wait. We have to make a pact right now that we take this to our graves. Agreed.
Barry: Agreed.
Dead body: Agreed.
Julie: Hang on. Where's Stu?
Barry: He probably went to get something to eat. Tell your dad he's sleeping at my place tonight.
Julie: Okay.
Barry opens the door.
Barry: Bye.
Julie: Bye.
Barry leaves.
Caption reads: ONE DAY LATER
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5 Scene 1: Ghost stories.
Stu, Julie and Barry are sitting around in circle in the lounge room.
Stu: So the boy and boy are making out right, when they hear over the radio that this lunatic killer's escaped from an insane asylum. He's got this long, sharp potato masher as a hand.
Barry: No. You're telling it wrong. I think it's boy and girl making out.
Stu: Shut up. So one of the boys gets all scared right and the other boy all hot and bothered, he gets really mad and peels out.
Barry: No,no,no. That's not the way it goes. Okay the boy goes for help while the girl stays in the car and she hears like this scratching sound…
Julie: It's not a scratching sound it's a drup, drup, drup!
Barry: No. It's a scratching sound because the guys cat is locked in the boot trying to get out.
Julie: No, no, he's been decapitated and his head is on the car roof with blood dripping out of it going drup, drup, drup.
Stu: No he wasn't decapitated, he was gutted with a potato masher.
Everybody looks at him.
Stu: That's the way I heard it.
Julie: Look we're all wrong. They get back to the girl's house and then find the lunatics bloody potato mashers in the car door and they all lived happily ever after. Now that's the original story. That's the way it really happened.
Barry: Hey, hey. None of it really happened it's a made up ghost story to begin with.
Julie: No it's not. It's true.
Stu: Yeah I don't think say Julie.
Julie: I swear it.
Barry: Jeez, it's a fictional story created to warn young people the dangers of using pre-marital potato mashers.
Julie: Well actually, Porgy and you know how terrified I am of your IQ. It's an urban legend.
Stu: Wasn't that some crappy horror movie?
Barry: Yeah.
Julie: It's American folklore and they usually originated from some real life incident.
She looks at everyone then smiles.
Stu: I never did like horror stories or movies.
Barry: Why?
Stu: They're all the same. Some killer chasing some stupid victim who then falls and trips and the killer stabs him. It's insulting. To the killer he shouldn't have to catch them when they fall down he should just throw his knife at them or shoot them.
Scene 1: The Killing
Barry: Hmmm. Let's play a game now.
Music is in the background.
Julie: Well okay, but it has to be safe..
Stu: Like…
Barry pulls a knife out of his pocket.
Barry: Catch the knife!
He throws the knife to Stu.
It hits him in the hand.
Stu: Ow! My hand!
Stu throws it to Julie.
It hits her leg.
Julie: Ah.
Barry: You can't throw for jack. You know that.
She throws it to Barry.
Barry: This is how you catch it.
Barry catches it in his mouth.
Barry: Stu what the hell is this crap?
He turns on cool music and puts his hands up in the air and shouts.
Barry: Get ready for a hard one.
He throws it to Stu.
Julie: Watch out!
It hits someone.
Julie: What was that?
Morgan: I don't know.
Julie: Is everybody okay?
Morgan: Yeah. What's that?
He runs over a picks a bloody knife off the floor.
Julie: Blood!
Morgan: It's not mine. It must have hit a dog or something.
Julie: A dog couldn't have done that.
Morgan: A deer could. My dad is going to freak. That was his best knife.
Julie: Where is it?
Morgan: What?
Julie: If that was a deer, then where is it?
Morgan: Maybe it ran off.
Julie notices something: Oh my god!
She runs over and picks up a gumboot.
Morgan: No way.
Julie: Oh!
Morgan: I didn't see it.
Julie: Weren't you aiming for him?
Morgan: No.
Julie throws the boot down: Oh my god this isn't happening!
Morgan: There is no way.
He runs up to a cupboard and grabs some torches. He turns one on and hands it to Julie.
They start walking.
Julie: Noooo!
Morgan: I couldn't see it I swear!
Julie: Is he dead?
Morgan: I don't know.
Julie: Check his pulse.
Morgan: No way.
Julie: You're the one who stabbed him.
Morgan goes up to the body and feels his wrist.
Morgan: I think he's dead.
Julie: Who is he?
Morgan: I can't tell. His face is all messed up.
Julie: What was he doing out here?
Morgan: We have to call the police.
Julie: Let's just think about this for a minute.
Morgan: Think about what? He walked into our house in the middle of night. Okay it was an accident. I wasn't drinking or being stupid. Oh wait yes I was.
Julie: Even if we did tell the police, we'd go down for manslaughter.
Morgan: Then we leave right now. Run away forever.
Julie: Don't you get it? If there's some of him on the knife, then there's some of the knife on him. They'll trace it back to you. You'll be looking at a stab and run.
Morgan: But then what are we going to do?
Julie: We'll hide the body tonight and dump it somewhere tomorrow.
Morgan: Where?
Julie: Upstairs.
They pick Stu up and carry him upstairs.
Julie: In here.
They put him down in the laundry and cover him with towels.
The knife is still obviously seen but they are oblivious to this.
Barry: Do you think he's well hidden?
Julie: Yeah. Anyway dad never goes near the washing that's Betty the maid's job.
Barry: But won't Betty find him?
Julie: I'll tell her I'll do the washing this week.
Barry: Good. Well I'd better be getting home.
Julie: Wait. We have to make a pact right now that we take this to our graves. Agreed.
Barry: Agreed.
Dead body: Agreed.
Julie: Hang on. Where's Stu?
Barry: He probably went to get something to eat. Tell your dad he's sleeping at my place tonight.
Julie: Okay.
Barry opens the door.
Barry: Bye.
Julie: Bye.
Barry leaves.
Caption reads: ONE DAY LATER