Blame it on the Alcohol

A/N: Was I high when I made this? Probably....seriously this fic is crack induced. Motivation came from the Hetalia kink meme with the prompt drunk; someone already made a Russiamerican one, but since that one was angst and I wanted something that was a 'drunk Russiamerica that was funny,' so this was made.

Oh lord this is my first Hetalia fic and my first fic in over a month; I said I wouldn't make this because I didn't have history to back it up so I hope this isn't too ooc Review, flame, don't care! Seriously I don't feel good posting this ._.;

Dammit if I owned Hetalia you think I would be making fanfictions? No most of the 'pairings' would be canon and I would pull my hair if I should make US/UK or Russiamerican canon or not!

btw: borders suck :3

"Keep up, with the force don't stop, don't stop til you get enough..."

Arthur was having a hard time believing what was going on right now; maybe he was in an alternative dimension?

For once he wasn't the first one drunk; Kiku somehow ended up drinking some kind of sake bombs along with the contest that Prussia, Germany and America put up was now quite intoxicated.

England thought it was a good idea for everyone to go out due to current events; so the whole G8 including some other countries like Ukraine went out to get drinks and party, (Iran was out for obvious reason.)

The problem was almost everyone was plastered but him and git face due to said drinking contest.

"Touch me and I feel on Fire; Ain't nothing like A love desire (oooh)"

Alfred ended up on stage with Japan both of them singing the second verse pretty...well. The way they were dancing though was kinda....

Arthur coughed and tried to focus on his gin and tonic; he couldn't be looking at America like that, he couldn't.

It got worse when Russia decided to join them; the biggest country had three bottles of absolute by himself and probably drunk more than that before hand.

England didn't even want to think what happened to half of the group; Germany and Italy were giggling, giggling, and ran off to the bathroom over an hour ago. Canada was actually talking with Ukraine; ironically he was sober while the big chested woman was drunk, poking him in his chest so often and saying, 'kolkolkolkol...' China and Korea were making out with Vietnam somehow in the middle.

Thank god Belarus didn't decided to show up for this party since she was more underage than America; Arthur did not want to pay for more collateral damage than he had to.

France was laughing his ass off; somehow America got tied up into Russia's scarf and they were still dancing and singing, but it looked like they were grinding against each other....

'Oh bloody hell....'

"Wow...Alfred sure is..."

"Don't fucking say it you wanker."

"Keep On With The Force Don't Stop; Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough!"

Didn't Russia's boss kick out a certain singer so long ago so how the hell would he know the lyrics to this song? It didn't help that somehow Japan sandwiched America even further into Russia.

When the song was over, thank god, Russia and America ended up back to the far end of the bar. England still kept a weary eye on the two of them.

"I tap you I tap you~!" The Russian's words were slurred, making his accent even more obvious and deeper as he poked Alfred with some kind of bottle.

"IVAN~!!!!!!" Alfred practically screamed and latched onto the larger man; the way he was practically cuddling him made England seethed. He mumbled something in broken Russian that actually made Ivan fucking giggle like a girl.

"Da~!" The two of them busted out laughing; England noticed with horror that America somehow pulled that bottle of Smirnoff from Russia's hands and proceed to drink it straight from the source.

He didn't miss the hungry look the Russian was giving his former colony; watching how his throat worked the drink down. "Da...Amerika..."

"Ah...man this stuff is strong *hic* I should order a Jack n' Off or somethigz..." The bartender was behind the bar looking at everyone with weary eyes; he decided to stop giving out drinks after Korea tried to give China a lap-dance.

"Im INVITED IT!" He would shout and sloppily kiss the man again and again.

England shook his head; he had to get everyone out of here before the police came again. Germany usually did it but was still occupied in the back.

"Oh Arthur you worry too much..." France laughed; he only drank some wine and a few coolers himself so he was buzzed at the most. "Let them have fun; the relief aid has stressed America out as well as the tensions in Asia. So what if a few people got drunk and ended up in other people's beds..."

He wrapped an arm around the Englishman. "How about we enjoy the evening ourselves."

"Bloody frog face get off of me!" Arthur tried to throw off the groping man with a blush; he didn't want him to know how he actually enjoyed it when Francis actually twisted his nipple. He was already turned on by Alfred's dance earlier.

He frowned and looked in the other side of the bar; England gasped as he realized that Russia and America were gone.

"Bloody fuck France now they're gone!" He scanned the bar again and indeed they vanished. "If Alfred destroys another car or pulls up another street lamp again it's my ass on fire!" He growled at the french man who only shrugged.

"At least you can help me get everyone back to the hotel!" Japan was singing Rick Roller now, gyrating his hips and doing pelvic thrusts, China was already half nude, and England could hear a lot of German and Italian screams coming from the bathroom.

Arthur sighed; it was hell trying to drag everyone back, even with Matthew's and Francis' help....

Ukraine was still acting like her brother and somehow found a pipe to beat people with, England found out with horror that Prussia was also in the bathroom and had to drag the three some to a decent room, (didn't help that Italy was still groping Gilbert, Ludwig and even England himself.)

China, Korea, and Vietnam was harder to drag back because they decided to sing with Kiku and somehow all three of them almost got sick on poor Arthur and bloody hell if he does this again.

England sighed; he managed to get frog face to not come into his room and decided it would be best to put the now passed out Japan in his own room, (he seen the way the Asian countries were looking at him and didn't want poor Kiku to be in that sandwich..)

So now Arthur was looking for Russia and America, who were still MIA. He checked America's room first and found nothing but McDonald wrappers and dirty clothes on the floor. Sighing he decided to check Russia's room next.

He knocked first; not getting a response so he pushed the slightly cracked door open and just....stood there. Yes he found the two of them but...

England just stood there as he watched his former colony get thoroughly invaded by the larger country.

Somehow the two of them were on the couch; Alfred was on all fours panting and moaning without his glasses. His hair was sticking to his face and he only had on his shirt and tie, the rest of his skin on display.

"Ah....harder Ivan...."

Ivan was behind him, with only his coat on Arthur noticed, pushing and grunting behind him. The slapping of skin on skin as well as the smell of sex was heavy in the room.

England pinched his nose and closed the door behind him 'I did not see Alfred have sex with Russia and that Ivan is big everywhere and that oh god Alfred looks....'

He needed a cold shower now and England prayed that France would not run into him again.

The next day England decided to have a meeting to bitch at everyone for acting irresponsible. (That and he needed to vent since he didn't get laid, AGAIN.)

Somehow Ukraine ended up beating a good part of the UK (the actually area not Arthur,) with her pipe, Prussia had to be bailed out of jail for indecent exposure when he ran out naked to 'get more drinks' as he said, and the hotel almost banned them for life when the Asian threesome decided to just have sex and sing badly in the hallways.

Mostly everyone was here with the exception of America and Russia England noted. He wondered about his former colony when said colony busted through the door.

"Sorry I'm late I just had to..." Everyone paused, even England. Japan only groaned and just continued to lay his head on the British man's shoulder.

"BLOODY HELL AMERICA!" Arthur pinched his nose as America rubbed his head.

"Oi...what's going on? Why is everyone staring at me? Is it because I'm so great and awesome looking?"

"No you baka don't you realize that you don't have your own clothes on!" Germany groaned when he screamed again and England didn't fucking care.

America blinked and eeped as he stared down at himself; he indeed had on Russia's large coat on. The coat was a bit too big but looked kinda cute on him.

China was smirking. "Aru! We know what happen with you last night!"

"Sh...shut up! At least I wasn't fucking in the hallway at 4am!" Alfred remember coming out of Russia's room half sleep half drunk and finding more skin than he had to.

This stared a round of hung over arguments, with Italy exclaiming weakly "pasta pasta!" England tried to get them to calm down, especially since Japan was looking even more distressed.

Everyone stopped when Russia entered the room wearing something other than his coat; he had on a pullover sweater with a white shirt and tie; his scarf ever so present. Russia actually had America's bomber jacket in his hands; he looked one moment at the room, then at America, then proceed to go back out.

This started a brand new set of arguments and screaming, with Prussia laughing and catcalling, France asking to join in, to "Fuck you all I care about him; like hell I would have a threesome with you frog face!!!"

The yelling stopped when America ran out to probably actually talk to his new lover? England did not want to know what happen the morning after and why his former colony was exclaiming love for the larger country....

Switzerland walked in to see the scene before him; he seen America talking with Russia outside the hallway, somehow America had on Russia's coat and he did not want to know why.

The countries in the summit were another matter; they were arguing as usually but half of them looked hung over and had hickeys and other markings on their bodies. Most of them had very little on or just barely up to their own standards; he never seen Japan dress that casually.

Basch decided then that he had to go to one of those G8 parties, underage or not. He needed a break badly.

Note: The Micheal Jackson reference is from the fact that Micheal did a tour everywhere around the world but Russia (for reasons unknown but there is so much speculation that he suppose to made 'a song' behind it'.) MJ tried a few times to do a concert in Russia in the future but officials didn't do the o-k at all, (and as far as I know he still didn't do one there, if this is wrong just pm/leave a review.)

Rick Roller: A song that was made in the 80s that is usually used in spoofs and you-tube videos (it wasn't that bad when I was growing up...)

Jack N Off: A drink made with vodka, Jack Daniel's whiskey, peach schnapps, orange juice, grenadine syrup, and sweet and sour mix x.x;;;

Belarus is suppose to be around 16-17; younger than America who is canon body age around 19 lol (so yeah...)