Disclaimer : I obviously don't own Kuroshitsuji.

Here is a parody, I got the idea while having my driving class. Weird, nee? o.o Anyway, there are things that I can't change. About the book's title, pardon, I could not find anything better to replace it with. So just ignore the time setting, alright? o.o The fact about 'Hi' as greeting, 'gay', 'subway', 'DNA' and such, I really don't want to make this as an AU so just bear with it. This is just a story. A freaking one shot.

Song used : If You Were Gay by Avenue Q.

English is not my first language. Don't sue me for it. I'm on my way learning from my beta =) However, this one is unbeta-ed.

"Aah, an afternoon alone with my favorite book, 'Broadway Musicals of the 1940s'… No Sebastian to bother me. How could it get any better than this?" Ciel chuckled, relaxingly opening the first page of the book.

Sebastian was gone to buy some groceries, apparently expecting his Young Master to have his rest as well. Ciel had done all those paperwork yesterday without a hitch, thanks to Sebastian's deal to him.

The butler promised him to give him a day off if he stops lazing around and that is mean, without any babbles from Sebastian himself. Ciel rolled slightly his right shoulder to ease his discomfort; he slept quite late last night due to all those work.

When Ciel is about to turn on the next page of the book, a slam of the door interrupted him.

"Oh… Hi, Earl!"

Twitching at the familiar voice belong to only one particular Chinese male, Ciel titled his head up to meet with those smiling eyes.

"Hi, Lau." The younger boy halfheartedly responded. When Sebastian finally left him for good, this thing just had to come and annoy the hell out of him. Moreover, who gave him permission to enter his study room?

The other man, who is unaware of the young Earl's incoming anger, stepped forward to stand beside the boy. Ciel just ignored him without saying a word, trying his best to imagine Lau was not there.

"Hey Earl, you'll never guess what happened to me on the subway this morning. This guy was smiling at me and talking to me-"

"That's very interesting." Ciel nodded his head indifferently.

"He was being real friendly and I think he was coming on to me. I think he might have thought I was gay!"

The second he continued his words, Ciel almost jump from his seat. He turned to look at the smiling Chinese with a frown on his child face. Inside his mind, he already does not like where this conversation is going.

"Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care. What did you have for lunch today?" Ciel tried his best to change the topic. Fidgeting on his chair, he turned to give his attention back to his book.

And of course, Lau is being Lau. Smirking at the boy's odd behaviour, he lowered his face until his lips reached the boy's left ear.

"Oh, you don't have to get all defensive about it, Earl…"

"I'm not getting defensive! What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I'm trying to read." The boy hissed, pointing his finger at his book with an annoyed look upon his face. Lau retreated to his previous position; a sly smile appeared on his lips.

"Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Earl. I just think it's something we should be able to talk about." The Chinese chuckled, earning another glare from the young teal head.

"I don't want to talk about it, Lau! This conversation is over!" he spoke with a firm tone in his voice but the said man just carelessly shrugging it away.

"Yeah, but..."

"Over!" Ciel exclaimed angrily.

"Well, okay, but just so you know…" he smirked.

Then, out of nowhere, the music started to play. Ciel's eyes twitched as he looked around him, trying to find the source of the unsolicited music. When he found none, he shook his own head, assuming that his mind just messing around with him. However, when Lau started to sing, he could only blink his eyes, trying to take no notice of the man.

"If you were gay, that would be okay. I mean 'cause, hey, I'd like you anyway."

"Huh." The boy huffed but Lau continued nevertheless.

"Because you see, if it were me, I would feel free to say that I was gay but I'm not gay." The older man moved to stand in front of the boy, the mahogany table sandwiched between them. Ciel groaned, holding himself from grabbing on his hair and scream out of annoyance.

"Lau, please! I am trying to read..." Ciel gritted his teeth as his eyes glaring at the older man. Lau, in the other hand said nothing but stare at him with his smiling eyes.

"What?" Ciel snapped. The Chinese smirked and turned to look at the door. He could sense a familiar someone is coming.

"If you were queer,"

"Ahh, Lau…"'

"I'd still be here,"

"Lau, I'm trying to read this book"

"Year after year-"

"Lau!"

"Because you're dear to me!"

"Argh!" Ciel rolled his eyes at the singing male; his fingers are practically scratching the poor table. Still, Lau paid no attention to him, proceed to swing himself closer to the door.

"And I know that you…" he smiled and the already surrendered Earl just sighed.

"What?"

"Would accept me too,"

"I would?" Ciel raised an eyebrow sarcastically. Lau in return, smiled happily.

"If I told you today, "Hey! Guess what, I'm gay!" but I'm not gay."

When the Earl opened his mouth to decline, Lau quickly cut him with his singing.

"I'm happy just being with you."

Ciel shook his head at the man's childish behaviour, proceed to read his book back.

"High Button Shoes, Pal Joey..." he read it aloud on purpose, wishing for the man to stop irritating him.

"So what should it matter to me what you do in bed with guys?" Lau opened the door wide, revealing the surprised butler standing upon the door, his hand was just about to knock on it.

"Lau, that's gross!" Ciel shrieked at the smiling male and Sebastian, which have no idea about what is happening just blinked his eyes at his Young Master and the uninvited guest.

"No it's not!" Lau grinned and patted the butler on his chest. Ciel glared at him, daring him to do whatever he got in his mind right now.

"If you were gay, I'd shout hooray!" the Chinese cheered happily.

"I am not listening!" the angry Earl stood from his chair and walked passed both males. Sebastian followed his Young Master without a word but a mere smile on his lips. It does amused him to see the young boy pissed off by Lau.

Sadly, for Ciel, Lau proceed to follow him also.

"And here I'd stay,"

"La la la la la!"

"But I wouldn't get in your way."

"Aaaah!" Ciel exclaimed and stopped on his track to send a death glare to the singer. In his mind, he hope for Sebastian to try stopping him but Sebastian himself only smirked.

Groaning, the young Earl quickly walks to his room, disregarding both his butler and the thing.

Once the trio reached the master room, Sebastian moved forward to open the door for his Young Master. Before Ciel could actually enter his chamber, Lau poked on behind his right shoulder, making him turned his head to look at the man. Sebastian blinked when he realized the boy's red tie is undone, carefully kneeling on one of his knees to tie back the lace.

"You can count on me to always be beside you every day, to tell you it's okay, you were just born that way, and, as they say it's in your DNA… You're gaaaay!!"

Completely devastated, Ciel screamed at the Chinese, ignoring Sebastian who is still doing his tying.

"BUT I'M NOT A GAY!"

"If you were gay." Lau chuckled while Ciel let out an exasperated sigh, turning his head to his front, telling himself to just done with Lau. Sebastian, who at the same time had finished his work, looked up from Ciel's neck.

"Argh-!"

"Bocchan-"

Eyes widen, both Ciel and Sebastian dumbfounded at their now connecting lips.

A/N : That's the end. =D I don't put Lau's singing in Italics. Check on the song yourself if you wanted to hear it =)

Comments are truly welcomes.

Anyway, I do plan to make a one shot for LauxCiel. But why on Earth nobody had ever wrote about them yet? O.o