OHAITHEREGUYSSSSS!!!!

Yes, it's me, returned from the depths of work, pantomime and exams! You have me until May, when my exams start again (gah, I know), but here's a little Valentine's gift to apologise for my absence! I know y'all love your Munkus/Dem fluff :D

The Anti-Valentine's Day

Valentine's day was always celebrated in the junkyard. All of the cats got into it – sending little gifts, sometimes cards pilfered from their owners' houses. They would declare their love to their mates – or to the cats they hoped would become their mates. Everyone, from the oldest cat to the youngest kitten, would get involved.

Everyone except Munkustrap.

Munkustrap loathed Valentine's day. He always had to sit by and watch his friends and their mates acting all lovey-dovey, whilst he had no-one. He'd been asked, the year before, to be Cassandra's Valentine, and later Bombalurina's, but had turned them both down. Lo and behold, just hours later, they were in the paws of their new Valentines – Valentines who were now their mates. Munkustrap didn't regret turning the queens down – they weren't his type at all – he just didn't understand why the one queen he wanted as his Valentine didn't seem to realize.

Demeter was alone for a change. Usually, she was surrounded by a gaggle of gossiping, giggling queens, and impossible to approach. Today, however, she seemed to be the only one sitting on the tyre. All of the others had been taken out by their mates to the river, or to their owner's houses, or anywhere but the junkyard. Demeter wasn't doing anything – just sitting there, staring at the stars in the night sky, deep in thought. She had only recently come back from whatever happened during those months in Macavity's lair. Now emotionally scarred and with a kitten on the way from her ordeal, the last thing Munkustrap wanted to do was alarm her. He paced evenly up to her and sat down.

'The stars are beautiful, aren't they?' he asked softly. Despite his gentle tone, Demeter jumped and flinched away, as though shocked by an electric current. Munkustrap gasped. 'Oh, Heaviside, Demeter, I'm so sorry – I didn't mean to scare you – I tried to speak as gently as I could – are – are you alright?'. Demeter nodded slowly, her breath coming in short, furious gasps. 'Demeter – breathe a bit slower, yeah? I'm so, so sorry'. Demeter evened out her breathing and attempted a smile.

'Don't worry,' she said, in her sweet, soft voice. 'It's fine, honestly. Everything scares me these days. Usually I've got my friends around me, so it's not so bad, but... well, I guess they've got more interesting things going on today. Matters of the heart, or so I've heard'. Demeter rolled her eyes, and Munkustrap smiled, taking her paw.

'I take it you're not the biggest fan of Valentine's day either?' he asked. He could tell from the look on Demeter's face that he had hit the nail on the head. But once he'd taken one look at Demeter's face, he couldn't stop staring. She was so beautiful – how was it that she didn't have a mate already? Most of the boys in the junkyard must have asked her to be a Valentine. 'Me either. I get asked by all these queens... and yet they're never the one queen I'd love to ask. And all the romance... I don't get it. Why do you need one day a year to show someone that you love them? What's wrong with treating them well every day of the year?'. Demeter smiled up at him.

'You've just summarised my thoughts exactly,' she said, a grin spreading across her pretty face. Her eyes were so deep, rich and green. She was still a young queen – a remarkably young queen, actually – but her eyes had seen so much. She had the body and features of a cat, barely out of kittenhood, but the eyes of a cat who had seen many things and endured many trials and tests. 'And being treated nicely and wooed and told sweet nothings isn't always an indication of love that will last forever,' she said solemnly, glancing down at her stomach. 'I think I'm the definitive proof of that'. Munkustrap didn't know what to say for a moment.

'How about we have a different kind of day?' he suggested. 'Like.. an anti-Valentine's Day? Like, if I were to say, Demeter, will you not be my Anti-Valentine... and you were to say, "Certainly not!" – and then, it would be official. And every other day would be a wonderful day, where we treated each other with love and devotion, and were totally romantic – just like we will be today, because it's Anti-Valentine's day!'. Demeter giggled.

'That makes no sense,' she began. 'But I like the sound of a world where we can be together, and treat each other nicely, and do all of the romantic Valentine's things every day. Do you have directions as to where I can get to this world, by any chance?'. Munkustrap knew this was his chance. He stood up, leading Demeter up with him, and took both of her paws in his own.

'Even better, my beautiful little anti-Valentine,' he said, leaning in. 'I'll show you where it is myself. It's right here!'.

His lips met Demeter's. They spent a blissful, eternal moment locked in that sweet embrace – and when they broke apart, it was with hope, not sadness.

'Happy anti-Valentine's day, Dem,' Munkustrap whispered. Demeter smiled.

'Happy anti-Valentine's to you too, Munk'.