SHINKISRULE: You probably guessed by the creepy music that we'll be interviewing Akito today! Yay!

KREM: Please stop saying "yay."

SR: Sorry… Anyway, say yo to the peeps, Akito!

AKITO: *death glare* …

SR: Or not…

K: So this is what the music was for.

SR: Indeed… So, Akii…

A: *continues glaring*

SR: …-to…

A: *continues glaring*

SR: …-San…

A: What?

K: Who be him?

SR: Him be da head.

K: "Da head?"

SR: The heeeeeaaaaad…

K: Define "the head."

SR: The head of the Sohma family.

K: Oh. Which animal is he?

SR: Well, he's not exactly an animal…

K: He's not?

A: Of course not, you thick-skulled idiot. Did you not already speak with all the Zodiac?

K: How the heck should I know?

A: WHAT was that?

K: You need to calm yourself.

A: You DARE defy me?!

SR: Don't mind him, Akii—er, Akito-san. He's just ignorant.

K: HEY!

SR: Shh!! But anyway, back to our interview… Ever since I found out about your status, I've been dying to know… I don't think it's ever been established in the manga… Perhaps it has in the anime, but I've only seen like three episodes of that… What happens when someone hugs you?

A: …

K: There's the creepy glare again…

SR: Well, Akito-san? Do you even know?

A: It's none of your business, cretin.

SR: Cretin? Who calls someone a cretin?

K: Me.

A: *raises fist*

SR: EEP!! Okay, okay, okay!! I'm sorry, ma'am!! I mean sir!!! I mean your majesty!! Er, your worshipfulness! I mean—um—Please don't hurt me!! Please!!! I'm only 14!! I have my whole life ahead of me!! DON'T HARM MEEE!!!!

K: They're all so violent…

SR: Not really… Just the latest ones…

A: AARGH!!! *grabs SR's hair*

SR: Ow ow ow!! Careful!!! Fragile!!!

A: Is it now? *pulls hair*

K: Cool! PULL IT OUT OF HER HEAD!!! AHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!

A: You're next.

K: Oh, dear.

SR: LET GOOOOOOOO!!!! MY HAIR IS SPECIAL!!!

A: BEG FOR MERCY.

SR: I did that BEFORE you grabbed me!!!

A: AAAAAARGH!!!!!

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A: MUAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! *leaves the room triumphantly*

SR: [on the ground] So… much… pain…

K: [mockingly] Aww… Poor you… Do you want some band-aids for all your boo-boos? Maybe some Neosporin? Or a nice bowl of soup? A few pints of blood pumped back into your veins, perhaps?

SR: Shut your face or I'll start singing the filet o' fish song again.

K: Booooaheahaha!!!

SR: When we get back, we'll be chatting with the Student Council.

K: When? After you get a few people to donate blood for you? Hehe.

SR: Sigh… Yes… *drags herself out of the room*

K: I'm beginning to enjoy this… Buahahaha…