"It's complicated isn't it? Life... you think you've got it all worked out and someone comes along and makes you think completely different about it"

She thought she could trust him, but there was no denying what she would seen. Her DCI was corrupt.
She has lost him. Not that she had ever had him. She thought he cared about them, his team and her. Especially her. She could not decipher what it was that they had. Whatever it was had been cast aside in that instance. The distrust she now felt rang through her words. She wants to scream at him, tell him how he makes her feel physically sick and that she would fight him every step of the way if she has too.

Corrupt? The word makes her tongue feel heavy and her heart contract.
She feels dirty in his presence now. She should have seen it. He plays a good game, she will give him that.
Tonight she is too tried for games. Too tired for the fight. Weary of it all.
She is lonelier than she had ever thought.

All those moments they had shared felt like empty lies, still she clung to them, they were the only weaponed she had left.

"You're not getting it are you Bolls?"

The seconds tick by in her head, and her thoughts are stepping over one another in exhilaration. He was playing with them. He was a good cop. Honest. On her side.
She did not have to fight him. All of a sudden it was like she could breath again, she had him.
He was not corrupt, he was protecting her. They were a team. He cared.
They would fight the rot together.

"You don't get it. I thought I'd lost you"

She can feel him scrutinising her, his brow gently furrowed as he picks apart her words and for a second she thinks he understands. That he can see straight through her. To why she is here. To why she cannot leave.
And she is left wondering that if Shaz had not of burst in, would he have closed the gap between them and.... but she had and he did not.