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Chapter Two

That was the first time anybody ever told me that I could do more than destroy; that I could be more than what I was at that point. I think that's why I hated the Professor so much; he gave me such much hope and then it was torn from under me. It wasn't his fault. Fuck, I know it wasn't his fault but when you're that young and your life is ripped from your fingertips; it changes you. It changed me. But I'm getting ahead of myself, that's latter in the story. Now where was I, oh yeah the Professor and the school.

John looked around him, the wind pushing the trees branches toward the south as the other kids played. Xavier had told him so many things. That John was a mutant, a homo superior. One of those freaks that John had seen on the news, as if he wasn't enough of an outcast already. Sighing he trailed his fingers over the bench that he was resting on. It had been a week since he had arrived at this school, this place where it seemed the impossible happened.

It was weird to be surrounded by all the lavish halls, obviously this Xavier guy came from money, and old money at that. Nothing like John. He gripped the wooden bench hard. What was he doing here; he didn't belong to a place like this.

People were smiling and happy and it was wrong. Didn't they know that they would never be accepted into society, that they were freaks? His fingers dug into the bench, wood particles getting trapped under his nails. This place was so full of hope and it just made him want to scream. What was there to hope for! He couldn't. His breath started to shake and his eyes watered. He would never fit in here! He had to get out.

John tried to push himself from the bench only to have his world narrow. What was happening? The world was spinning! Why was it spinning? Screams reached his ears and he fell to the ground, the dirt clinging to his jeans as he wrapped his hands around his head. His heart was racing and he dug his nails into his scalp. He didn't want to be a freak, didn't want this. He just wanted to be normal! Why couldn't he of just been normal?

He shook harshly, heat licking around his flesh comfortingly. There was a bright orange glow and that was all he could see. The beautiful orange glow that would protect him- from everything, from the world. He fed his protector with his power, his head swimming happily. The voices were back, those beautiful voices that sang to him. He gave the glow more of his power when it beckoned, a smile on his face, the panic was slowly fading, there was only him and this glow.

A small tensing started in the back of his head; almost like a rubber band being pulled too tightly. It was hurting! Why was it hurting? The glow was hurting him. The voices changing from a calming song into something violent, something that raged its voice loudly at the sight of destruction and death. His entire body felt as if it was screaming. As if his very essence was being pulled from his pours by a cosmic force. So much stronger than him.

He screamed, blood vessels bursting as he struggled against the flame that was now wrapped around him. He didn't want to die! The fire was controlling him sucking him dry of his life-force. Blood started to drip from his nose, slipping down into his open mouth. His body was shaking again his mind hounding loudly to be free from the voices. They were so loud, they were drowning him. 'HELP!' He was screaming so loudly in his head.

Why was no one coming? Had they decided that he wasn't worth it? That was probably it, was this Summers's revenge for puking on him? Because he really hadn't meant to. He didn't mean to make anyone mad! He hadn't meant any of it! Why wouldn't anyone help him! Tears started to peek from the corners of his eyes before they flowed freely. The liquid didn't stay though drying almost the instant it hit his flesh, the blood dripping from his nose caking and flaking as the heat that surrounded him only grew.

John pushed his face into his knees his breath coming in ragged breaths. He was never going to escape, the fire was just going to get bigger and bigger until he was drained of everything. He was going to die! Nobody would notice though, they didn't care! Why had the Professor told him all of those things? About belonging, was it just to trick him? This was his punishment for doing all those things, for stealing peoples wallets, for taking food when he needed it. Maybe it was God, the person that the guys on the street corners talked about. Maybe God was punishing him.

The heat slowly started to fade and he felt his head spin as the elemental force took away more of his energy to stay alight. What was going on? Why was it getting so cold. But the cold felt so good. John pushed toward it. He wanted the cold, the heat was so good, but it was hurting him. The cold…would it hurt him to? Wrap him in an icy cocoon and drag out his last breaths like the fire?

Arms wrapped around him and vaguely he realized that the thing that was holding him wasn't much larger than he was. His breath was causing steam in the now bitterly cold air, the last of the heat radiating from his skin making wisps of water vapor rise from his skin. It felt so good, so nice. Slowly he leaned into the source of the cold and then for what seemed like the millionth time let his mind fade away.

Voices were floating at the edge of John's consciousness, he felt as if he was swimming. His body floating just beneath the surface of the water, allowing sounds to filter through but remain unclear.

"Has no control."

"Won't be able to fit in here."

They were right he didn't fit in here, he had no control. What had he done this time, who'd gotten hurt? Was this what the result of his power? Destruction?

"Professor."

"He's not being sent away Scott."

"He nearly burned down the school!"

Did he really almost burn down the school? John shifted slightly on the couch. He seemed like he spent most of his time on the couch. It reminded him of a shrink's office. Wasn't that what shrink's did, ask you about your feelings while you laid down on a couch? Why'd they make you lay down on a couch anyways?

"He had a panic attack! He's just a child Scott!"

"Jean, he's dangerous!"

"No more than you!"

Was Scott dangerous then? Of course he was Scott was supposed to have an extremely powerful, what the Professor would call, a gift. Maybe that was why he was afraid of Scott? That whole alpha wolf thing? But then wouldn't he also be afraid of the Professor?

"Jean, Scott, calm down."

"Professor."

"He's awake."

John opened his eyes looking at the three adults in the room. Scott was standing angrily near the Professor's chair, his face set in a scowl. It was obvious as to who was the one that was protesting him so much. A woman with long red hair was smiling at him kindly as he lifted his head, that must be Jean. He'd heard about her from the other kids at mealtime. Well not from them but more of overheard them. After all he wasn't about to start talking to people. Rule one that he'd learned on the streets, keep to yourself. He was pretty much ashamed of how weak he had been since he'd found out that he was a-shaking his head he sat up on the couch. He couldn't afford to be weak anymore.

"Are you ok?"

The question caught him by surprise and his eyes turned to the Professor, the old man seemed honestly worried about him and John couldn't help but feel a slight tug at his chest. Was the Professor going to kick him out? Was he too much trouble? But no he couldn't care, because if he did he was just going to get hurt. He mumbled that he was fine and turned his gaze to the woods visible outside of the window. It was so peaceful here, so unlike the city that had been his home for as long as he could remember. Ever since he was really little. John banished the thoughts before turning his gaze back to Xavier.

"What's going to happen to me?" John's voice was shaking slightly and he couldn't help but lift his chin a little bit in a false form of bravado. He wouldn't be afraid of his actions. He wouldn't get anywhere by doing it, so there was no point. Scott, he could feel the male's gaze burrow into him and the youngest occupant of the room fought back a shiver. He knew that Scott didn't like him. John wasn't stupid, but the way Scott was looking at him. It was as if he expected John to be worthless. It made the young mutant fight against the urge to squirm and he was grateful when Jean stepped in front of Scott's gaze smiling at him so kindly; almost motherly.

He wondered if she did this to everyone; if she was always so warm. It wasn't just the heat he could sense coming off of her flesh, it was her. The warmth radiating out of her seemed to seep from her soul, bathing him in this calming comforting presence.

"Nothing's going to happen to you John, it was an accident." Jean's voice resonated over him like the sun's rays on a summer day and he felt himself relax slightly. He couldn't help but believe everything that she said, her voice was so calm, so certain.

John leaned back into the leather couch, the scent of oil reaching out to his nose as the coverings creaked. "What did I do?" John didn't ask what happened, he knew what had happened, he had lost control again, what was more important was what he had done. Had he hurt anyone? The Professor must have read his thoughts; at least that's what John believed because the old man smiled kindly.

"Nobody was hurt John. One of the students was smoking out by the woods and when you had your panic attack you drew the flame to you." He didn't seem angry but John knew from experience how fast an adult's mind could change, one moment you were an angel the next moment you were the devil's spawn. The young mutant nodded though and worried his bottom lip with his teeth. "I am however going to have to assign you somebody to help you with your panic attacks John." The brunette's attention was caught and John bit down on his lip harder as it was. He knew it, they were going to punish him. He fucking knew it. Nothing was going to happen to him, what utter bullshit.

"It's not a punishment John, merely a precaution for your safety and for the other students." Xavier paused a moment and then the door opened, a teenager who couldn't be much older than John entering hesitantly. The boy's blond hair fell slightly over his forehead, and he held onto the door handle a moment before entering the room fully. His posture changing slightly into one of one offering companionship. John thought he was pretty, not that he would admit that. Ever. "This is Bobby Drake, you'll be rooming with him from now on."

A/N For those of you who have been waiting for this story-I truly have no excuse, please find it in your hearts to forgive me.

Thanks to my reviewers, Justine, Emeralden Rapley and tmmdeathwishraven

Please be kind and review.