AN: First off, I don't own the characters, Kishimoto does. I just own the story.

This piece was inspired by a gorgeous picture of Sasuke sleeping in Kakashi's bed by one of my favorite artists on y!Gallery. Sorry it's been so long since I've posted something new. I've mostly been doing original fiction with my two character Daitan and Kamoku. Or writing pure smut. I won't post that here. So, enjoy my latest work! Thanks in advance for any and all reviews!

Sasuke stood at a familiar door, for once, the rain that had been pounding him for days was forgotten. His misery at being soaked so completely for so long was lost in the flood of memories. Clenching his jaws hard enough to make the tendons creak, and his hands into fists, Sasuke closed his eyes and forced the memories aside so he could concentrate. Letting just the slightest crack in his tight reign on his chakra slip open, he threaded out the barest streamer of his chakra and pushed it through the door into the apartment that lay beyond. It took only a few moments for Sasuke to ascertain that the apartment was empty. He wasn't home. Sasuke glanced back over his shoulder as he shut down his chakra again, making sure no one happened to be walking by when he'd released that whisper thin stream of chakra. Seeing no one moving through the rain soaked night, Sasuke turned his attention back to the door, beginning an internal debate. Did he let himself in, or did he go home and wait for him to return? The debate was over as soon as it had begun. He'd come back to Konoha with only one thought on his mind: Talking to Kakashi.

Looking around guiltily one last time, Sasuke fed another small stream of his chakra into the door, this time using the chakra to pick the lock that kept him out. Just as his hand settled on the doorknob he sensed the trap Kakashi had set on the door, a second lock that would let him know if anyone had managed to get into his apartment while he was away. Cursing softly because he'd almost missed the trap and set it off, Sasuke pulled his hand back from the doorknob and concentrated that thin trickle of chakra on the trap, carefully untangling the lines of chakra that made up the trap. His own emotions and thoughts in a much more tangled jumble, Sasuke found it hard to concentrate and nearly triggered the trap several times before finally loosening it, releasing the trap.

Letting loose a breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding, Sasuke did one last check with his chakra to be sure he hadn't missed any other traps, then opened the door and slipped in out of the cold rain. Closing the door behind him, he stood dripping in the entryway as his gaze scanned the small, dark apartment. It had been years since he'd set foot into the apartment, but it was exactly as he remembered it. Another flood of memories filled Sasuke's mind and he felt himself aching for everything he'd lost to his youth and his ignorance. His heart heavy, and misery gnawing at his stomach, Sasuke pushed the memories aside and crouched down to remove his soaking wet shoes, dropping them to the side of the door. Stepping out onto the cold wooden floor, Sasuke reached up with numb fingers to untie the front of his cloak, letting it fall from his shoulders, catching it just before it could crumple to the floor. Looking back at the hooks on the wall next to the door meant for hanging one's cloak, Sasuke shook his head and draped the heavy, dripping cloth over his arm and walked silently across the room to the bathroom. Without bothering to turn on the light, Sasuke draped the cloak over the edge of the bathtub.

Moving back out into the front of the apartment, Sasuke found himself wandering around the small apartment, looking at Kakashi's sparse belongings, his gaze inevitably finding the picture of Team 7, taken shortly after they been made an official four-man cell. Stepping over to the side of the bed, Sasuke picked the picture up, cupping the frame loosely between shaking hands. He gaze traveled over the faces of his former teammates, dismissing his own scowl before moving on to Sakura and then Naruto. Lifting his head, Sasuke looked up at the dark ceiling, trying not to let his regrets take over his thoughts again. Taking a deep breath, Sasuke dropped his gaze back to the picture, looking at last at his former sensei. He took in the crinkled eye, the only sign anyone ever got that the silver-haired jounin was smiling and felt a single, sharp stab of regret.

"Why didn't I listen to you when I had the chance, Sensei?" Sasuke asked the picture, wishing for an answer he knew the photograph couldn't provide.

Catching himself just before he sat on the edge of the bed, Sasuke set the picture back in its place next to the picture of his mentor's first team. Sasuke glanced only briefly at the Uchiha that had died before he was even born, then at the young Kakashi, noting in the back of his mind how little the man had changed when he grew up. Sighing, Sasuke looked down at his wet clothes and grunted in irritation. Turning on a heel, Sasuke walked through the room to the bathroom, stripping himself of his soaked clothing in the dark. He paused once, fingers hooked in the edge of his pants, ready to pull them off as the thought that he should have gone by his own student apartment before he came here, picked up some dry clothes slipped into the mind he'd been fighting so desperately to keep blank for the past several days.

Shrugging irritably, Sasuke pushed the pants down and stepped out of them, muttering to himself as he moved to drape them over the tub with the rest of his clothes, "That place has probably long since been cleaned out, Uchiha, don't be stupid. Besides, it's been nearly three years, my old clothes wouldn't fit me anymore anyway."

Sasuke paused, looking down at his boxers and frowning. They were soaking wet as was the rest of him, and as such weren't exactly comfortable, but he didn't relish the idea of walking around his former sensei-turned-mentor's apartment naked. Grunting, Sasuke pushed the boxers down around his feet. He stepped out with his left foot then used his right to fling the soaked material into the bathtub. He turned and grabbed a towel from the cabinet and began to vigorously dry himself. Finished, he hung the towel on the towel rack beside the tub to allow it to dry. Grabbing another clean towel from the cabinet, Sasuke wrapped it around his waist and stepped back out of the bathroom, going over and sitting on the edge of Kakashi's bed now.

For the first time since he'd stepped foot back in Konoha after nearly three years, Sasuke began to wonder if he'd made a mistake. He'd been declared a rogue ninja long ago, and as such, to be caught back in the village now would guarantee him a trip to the Konoha prison. While part of him didn't care if he wound up there after he killed his brother and found out the truth, a larger part of him rebelled against the idea. He didn't want to be taken away until he'd had a chance to talk to Kakashi. He needed to talk to the other man. It was the only clear thought he'd had since he'd gotten up in the middle of the night and slipped away from his new team. That one thought, the need, had driven him relentlessly, scarcely stopping to rest on the long trip to the village he had once called home. Now that he was there however, and Kakashi wasn't, Sasuke found himself at a loss, not knowing what to do. He would wait for Kakashi as long as he had to, but he didn't know how long he could go unnoticed. As long as he was awake he could keep his chakra suppressed. With Kakashi away, presumably on a mission, there wasn't likely to be anyone coming by his apartment. Chances were still higher than was comfortable for Sasuke that someone would notice his presence and report him to the Hokage.

Dry for the first time in days, and beginning to warm up, Sasuke felt the exhaustion that he'd been denying as he drove himself relentlessly to get to Konoha and his mentor beginning to wash over him, too strong now to be denied. Thinking it was a bad idea, but unable to resist the need for sleep, Sasuke slid back on the bed, pulling the blanket back and slipping underneath. Pulling the blanket up over himself, Sasuke snuggled down into the bed as the scent of the bed's owner wafted around him, further relaxing him, making him feel safe. With one last glance at the old picture that showed a life long since lost, Sasuke let his eyes drift closed, and sleep claimed him within moments.

~*~*~

Kakashi trudged wearily up the stairs to his apartment. It was just before dawn and the rain that had plagued him through most of his mission had finally stopped, leading him to the decision to leave the shelter he'd sought in order to dry out and finish his trip home in the middle of the night so he could sleep in his own bed. Looking up at the slowly lightening sky, Kakashi fished the key to his apartment from his equipment pouch. Sliding the key into the lock by habit, not needing to look, Kakashi let loose a long, noisy yawn. Once the door was unlocked he turned his attention away from the sky and back to his door. When he reached out with his chakra to disable the trap he always set at his door, he finally noticed the faint signature of a strange chakra emanating from his apartment. Taking a half-step back and cursing his negligence, Kakashi reached out with his chakra to get a better feel for the chakra signature he'd picked up on. It was a familiar chakra, and yet... not. He felt like he should know who the owner of that chakra was, but he couldn't quite place it.

Frowning, Kakashi reached back and pulled a kunai from his equipment pouch. Stepping back up to the door, he sent his chakra to test his lock, not surprised to find it had already been disabled. Glancing around to make sure no one hid outside his apartment to join the one inside, Kakashi braced himself. Warily, he twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open slowly. When no attack came, he pushed it a little farther open until he was able to see into his darkened apartment. The gray light of oncoming dawn, hidden behind the remnants of clouds reached far enough into his apartment to allow him to see the puddle that was drying in front of his door, foot prints leading deeper into the apartment. Glancing around, Kakashi spotted the shoes sitting wetly next to the door. His tension eased back slightly at that sight. Stepping into the apartment, Kakashi closed and locked the door behind him. He took a moment to reset the trap over his door before turning his attention back into the apartment. Slipping out of his shoes so that he could move silently, Kakashi moved deeper into his apartment, following the trail of water, heading in the direction of the owner of the almost familiar chakra signature.

Stepping into his room, Kakashi nearly dropped the kunai in his hand when he saw the shape of someone laying in his bed. Moving carefully to the side, Kakashi noticed that the pillow had been knocked to the floor and lay half propped against the side of the bed. Moving a little further in an attempt to get a look at who it was laying in his bed, Kakashi cursed silently when the nightstand next to his bed blocked the person's upper body, therefore his face, from view. Debating for a moment, Kakashi finally decided to move closer to the bed. He could tell the man in his bed was asleep. His breathing was deep and even, a sleeper's breathing. He knew there was a chance that it was just well controlled breathing, but he couldn't image anyone would break into his apartment to ambush him in such an elaborate fashion. Keeping a tight grip on the kunai, ready for anything, Kakashi moved up to the edge of the bed. Seeing who it was asleep in his bed, Kakashi stumbled back a step, the kunai dropping from his hand to clunk loudly on the floor in his surprise.

Holding his breath, Kakashi watched the sleeping form until he was sure that the young man hadn't awakened from the sound. Bending down, he picked up the dropped kunai. He started to put it back in the pouch, then stopped himself. He didn't know what his former student was doing here, and he thought it better to keep a weapon handy until he knew for sure. Walking back over to the edge of the bed, Kakashi bent down and looked more closely, confirming for himself that it was indeed Sasuke asleep in his bed. The young man had stretched out right in the center of the bed. Presumably after he'd knocked the pillow to the floor, he'd shifted in his sleep so that his head rested on his arm. Black hair and slipped down into the boy's face, but didn't hide him at all from Kakashi. He knew he'd recognize that face any where and any time. In his sleep, Sasuke looked peaceful, and the beauty that seemed inherent in much of the Uchiha clan was more obvious than ever. Without the near constant scowl to mar his features, Sasuke had a beauty that made Kakashi's breath catch in his throat. Kneeling down beside the bed, Kakashi let the kunai drop to the floor next to himself, and his hand twitched with the desire to reach out and brush the hair from Sasuke's face. Unsure of the reason for this desire, Kakashi pushed it aside, ignoring it for the time being.

Sasuke stirred, groaning softly as he began to pull himself back to wakefulness. Kakashi knew the instant that the last Uchiha was fully awake because his chakra signature vanished from the room. Moving back slightly, Kakashi waited for Sasuke to look at him. He wasn't trying to dampen his chakra anymore, so he knew Sasuke knew he was next to him. When at last those black eyes that had always watched him so sharply opened and turned to him, Kakashi felt a sharp pang of regret that he'd been unable to keep Sasuke in Konoha, to make the boy understand that what he had was far better than what he sought.

"Sensei," Sasuke murmured, drawing Kakashi from his contemplation of his guilt.

"Sasuke. What are you doing here?" Kakashi asked bluntly.

Frowning, Sasuke sat up, catching the blanket as it slid off of himself. Kakashi caught the sight of a towel balled up next to Sasuke under the blanket before he pulled the blanket back into place, covering himself from the neck down. Kakashi knew in that instant that Sasuke was naked and his reaction to this knowledge was not one he could understand. Before he could dwell on it for long, Sasuke answered, drawing him from his thoughts yet again. "I killed Itachi. I killed my brother."

"I know you did, Sasuke. I've known since shortly after it happened. We weren't far away when you fought your brother. One of the Akatsuki kept us away from the fight however. Another brought the news of your victory and Itachi's death," Kakashi replied mater-of-factly.

Sasuke looked at him, an intensity in his eyes that Kakashi both expected, and yet was surprised to see. "I killed him. I killed my big brother!"

"Sasuke," Kakashi began before being cut off.

"I should have listened to you, Sensei! Why didn't you make me listen to you?"

Kakashi snorted and stood up. Bending down, he picked up the kunai from the floor and shoved it back into the equipment pouch before walking across the room to grab the chair from his desk. Moving back to Sasuke, he dropped the chair next to the bed and flopped down in it, hands laying limply on his legs. "Nobody could make you do anything you didn't want to when you were thirteen, Sasuke," he finally answered.

"You were the adult! You were my sensei! You should have made me listen! You should have tied me up until I listened!"

"As I said, Sasuke, no one could make you do anything you didn't want to do. I did tie you up and make you listen once. I thought I'd gotten through to you too. You left that night. What more could I have done? I had to let go of that guilt a long time ago or I'd have gotten myself killed on a mission. I can't control the actions of others. I did the best I knew how to do. I just underestimated the level of your pain and determination. You made up your mind what you wanted when you were a boy, there was no dissuading you. But you've learned that I was right all along, haven't you Sasuke? Killing Itachi just left you more empty than you already were. It accomplished nothing."

His face drawing up as if tears were threatening, Sasuke looked away for a moment. When he looked back he was scowling, but the scowl couldn't hide the pain in his eyes. "I thought I'd be happy when he died. Especially when he died by my hand." Pausing, the scowl slipped, leaving Sasuke looking like the vulnerable boy he'd never allowed himself to be after his clan was slaughtered. "I started to regret my decision the moment the light began to fade from his eyes," Sasuke continued quietly. "Then I found out the truth about that night. He didn't want to kill the clan. He did it on an order. He was supposed to kill me too, but he couldn't. He protected me my whole life. When I found him with our dead parents, he protected me again by feeding me that lie. He made me grow strong. He made me the ninja I am. He did it all because he loved me. And I killed him for it!"

Kakashi frowned as he listened to Sasuke's story. Itachi killed his clan on an order? An order from whom? And why was Sasuke still alive if the entire clan was supposed to have been eradicated? Pushing his questions aside, Kakashi focused on the pale, raven-haired boy, huddled miserably in the middle of his bed. "Why are you here Sasuke? What do you want?"

"I don't know. After I killed Itachi I knew I'd made the wrong choice. Then, when I woke up and Madara told me the truth about what happened I wanted to run. I wanted to run from what I did, from my guilt. It seemed that if I ran hard enough, fast enough, that I'd be able to outrun what I did. Take it back. Of course, in the back of my mind, I knew that wasn't true. When I went back to my team, I decided what I needed was to come home. I needed to talk to you. So, in the middle of the night I slipped away and started for home. I remembered what you told me the afternoon before I left the village, and remembering those truths, I just knew you'd be able to tell me what to do. I need you to tell me how I make this all right again."

Kakashi winced behind his mask at the desperation he heard in the young man's voice. Turning away, Kakashi stood up and moved across the room, unfastening his equipment pouch and putting it away. Lifting his hand slowly, he untied his hitae-ate and let it slide down to rest in his hands. He stared at it silently for a moment before speaking again, not bothering to turn to face Sasuke across the dimly lit room. "What you seek I can't give you."

"But, Sensei! I--"

"No, Sasuke," Kakashi interrupted sharply. "No, what you want is a way to assuage the guilt that's eating at your soul, and I can't offer you that. You have to find that path yourself. You have to find the way to atone for what you did on your own. It's not an easy quest you are about to undertake, I can tell you that. And the guilt will never go away, not completely. You're strong enough to walk that path though, Sasuke, I have faith in you."

"How can you have faith in me after everything I've done?"

Kakashi smiled sadly behind his mask and shook his head, finally laying the hitae-ate next to the equipment pouch. "Because I know who you are at heart. I never would have trained you like I did if I didn't know that you are a good man inside."

"A good man," Sasuke said bitterly. "Maybe once, but now I'm just a murderer. I murdered my brother for loving me and protecting me."

Sighing in frustration and feeling his earlier exhaustion seeping into him again, Kakashi turned to face Sasuke. "No, you killed your brother for the lies he fed you. If what you say is true and he lied to protect you and to make you strong, then it seems likely to me that he not only knew you'd kill him some day, but he wanted you to. As you now seek absolution for the death of your brother, Itachi sought absolution for the death of your clan, and he found that absolution at your hands. And before you get any stupid ideas, no I am not telling you to go get yourself killed. Not only would that not give you the absolution you seek, it'd fly in the face of everything you say your brother did to protect you."

"Then what should I do? I need answers, Sensei."

"The answers you seek I don't have, Sasuke. Only you can provide those answers, just as only you can provide the forgiveness you seek."

"Forgiveness," Sasuke murmured, his gaze lowering to the blanket he still held up, covering himself. "I don't think I can ever forgive myself for what I did."

Kakashi moved silently across the room, once more sitting in the chair he'd set next to the bed. Reaching over he picked up the photograph of his first team, his gaze locked on Obito's scowling visage. "You think that now, but some day you'll find the way."

When Sasuke said nothing, Kakashi finally set the picture back down on the nightstand and looked at him again. The boy looked even paler than he normally did, and in the growing light Kakashi could see that the black rings around his eyes weren't caused by shadows as he'd thought, but by an exhaustion of both body and spirit. Sighing, Kakashi lifted a hand and pushed his fingers back through the unruly silver locks on his head. Dropping his hands again, Kakashi began to remove his gloves, wondering if he was ever going to sleep again.

"Lay down Sasuke, go back to sleep. I'll make sure no one finds you while you sleep. When you wake up, you can take that first step toward absolution by going to the Hokage. Face up to whatever punishment she deems appropriate for your actions and it will help you begin the healing process."

Surprisingly, Sasuke didn't argue with him for once. Instead he laid back on the bed, pulling the blanket up tightly around himself once more. After a few moments Kakashi heard Sasuke shift on the bed and he turned his gaze back from the window he'd been staring out of to look at the boy who was now laying on his side facing him. "Sasuke?"

"I'm sorry, Kakashi-sensei."

"I told you, Sasuke, I can't give you the forgiveness you seek."

Sasuke shook his head slowly, black eyes staring intently into Kakashi's one open eye. "No, I'm sorry I didn't listen to you that day. I'm sorry I left. I'll apologize to Sakura and Naruto too when I see them."

Smiling behind his mask, Kakashi leaned back on the hard chair and nodded to Sasuke. "Thank you for that, and I accept your apology. Though Naruto might be a slightly harder nut to crack."

"That idiot will forgive me because if I'm back he can resume his competition with me."

"You may very well be right. Sleep now, Sasuke. If I'm going to miss out on sleep, you better get yourself well rested."

When Sasuke rolled over onto his stomach, pillowing his head on his arm again, Kakashi bent over and picked up the pillow from the floor. Half standing, he dropped the pillow onto the chair and sat down on it with a silent sigh of relief, wondering why he'd never bothered to get a more comfortable chair for his desk. When Sasuke's breathing slowed and deepened, evening out as he drifted to sleep, Kakashi reached up and grabbed his mask, pulling it down so that he could rub tiredly at his face. Taking a deep breath, he reached out with his chakra and masked Sasuke's so that no one that happened by would feel the boy's chakra. After a few minutes he pushed to his feet and picked the chair up, heading back over to his desk.

"I suppose I may as well do my report if I'm not going to get to sleep."

Kakashi sat at the desk for only a few minutes before pushing the report aside. Looking back over his shoulder at Sasuke, Kakashi sighed and pushed to his feet. Walking back over to the bed, Kakashi reached out and picked up one of his books, Make-Out Tactics, from its place on the nightstand. Moving back to his desk, he turned the chair so that it once more faced the bed. Just before he sat down a small pain noise coming from the bed drew Kakashi's attention. Frowning, he moved back to the bed and looked down at Sasuke. The boy's brow was knit and a hard frown had pulled down the corners of his mouth. Giving in to his earlier impulse, Kakashi reached out and gently smoothed the black hair out of the young man's face, then just left his hand laying against Sasuke's forehead until the frown smoothed away and he grew quiet again. With a smile, Kakashi turned and went back to the chair, taking up his book and settling himself in for a long day.