The Tiny Tyrants

Part 1

Skipper: We're almost there. Keep…climbing!

(The train of penguins is following behind.)

(Kowalski who is traveling right behind Skipper can't take much more of it, and is getting jelly-arm.) I don't have the basic chemical molecules built up yet!

Private(gasping): What?

(Skipper wished either of them were in reach right now) It means Kowalski is a wimp who can't even complete the basickist training exercises. Now climb faster! I ain't scuttling this mission!

Rico: Ugh…

Kowalski: Skipper, it is too much…

Skipper: But I can see the top.

Private(wailing): But we could see the top before we even started climbing!

(Sadly it was true. Finally, they made it to the top. Skipper and the team scrambled to the top and sprawled out like dying ants, and below through mass exhaustion the four penguins could hear cheering. They made it at last.)

Skipper: We are the best team on the playground. We did the impossible! No one has ever climbed a rope up the jungle gym before.

Kowalski: We made history. No team has ever climbed the worm rope before.

(The penguins commenced waving to their adoring fans, feeling like supreme rulers of the playground. No one could surpass them. Until…)

Dr. Blowhole(who for the sake of not being an evil genius yet or anything else, we will call…Sheldon. On with the story) comes from behind the swingset, strolling through the crowd. Well, not strolling, but inching forward on a hover scooter thingy.) Not so fast.

Skipper: Who are you and what are you doing here?

Sheldon: Let's just say I'm sampling the new turf, pouring oil on the pavement, rolling on glass paper.

(the penguins stare back blankly)

Sheldon: Nurfing?

Kowalski: Is that a verb?

(Rico growls)

Sheldon: I'm here to kick the jelly outta the biscuit. Now get out of my way. I want you four penguins front and center so I can demean you beyond psychological repair.

Kowalski(short-circuiting): Can't process….can't…define…word. Psy-de-fro-scho-kal?

Sheldon: Not even close. (Then in the blink of an eye the dolphin blipped in the air and was on top of the jungle gym in seconds, the same height the penguins took many agonizing minutes to forge. The penguins gasped with horror.) I guess that means I am king of this playground.

Skipper(stuttering for words): What? Wha-di! Howdiu?

Sheldon: So I hear they call you Skipper? More like Dripper.

Skipper: AHHHHH! (launches himself at the gloryhound, but can't wriggle through the wall of Kowalski, Rico, and Private. Sheldon stayed conveniently out of reach.

Private: Violence isn't the answer.

Skipper(outraged): Neither is coughing up rainbows, Private! Let me go.

(The penguins are all staring back, neither moving or blinking with huge we-will-all-be-busted-if-Maurice-the-playground-supervisor-catches-us-doing-this looks, and Skipper's fighting urge died. He stopped struggling.

Kowalski: You have to excuse our friend. He can be a little defensive. I am Kowalski.

Sheldon: More like Go-Call-Fleas.

Kowalski(hesitating): And this is Rico.

Sheldon(smirking): You mean Stinko?

(Rico is beginning to lean toward Skipper's tie Sheldon in knots plan)

Kowalski: And Private.

Sheldon: And Fatcakes here. Now there are names for all of you. I will remember those deli slices. Well, later. Don't you four stop being adorable. (blip, and the air scooter descends back down to the cheering crowd who no longer is cheering at the penguins. In fact, as Sheldon is leaving, the crowd is eagerly following, trampling each other like a playstation 3 mob. Even the lemurs deserted them.)

Private: Fatcakes? That hurt. It really did.

Kowalski(sounding awkwardly offended): Technically penguins can't get fleas because they need warm fur to burrow and hatch their young in. Then the larvae will grow and irritate the nerve cavities.

Skipper: I've had enough of this. Kowalski, your plan failed. We are getting dirty. There can only be one leader of the playground, and that bully isn't taking it right out from under us. Kowalski, put that in the log. Now let's think of a plan. But later. The bell is about to ring for lunch.